Welcome! (Login / Request an account) There are 170 stories in the system. Randomize teasers! Please select a story to view: Story ID Title Creator Status Num Entries Date Finished 174   Springtime in Virginia betty Done 22 12/27/2022     Where did we land? We landed right in a big pile of dry leaves! The pleasant earthy smell of po-tay-toes! Boil em, mash em, stick inna stew! 173   Daylight Saving Time ! betty Done 23 4/21/2021     Didn't they both come from the country of Upper Volta?? Boppy has stamps from there. It's now known as The Enforcer. 172   A Winter Day in the Wilderness bonnie Done 22 2/15/2021     The nearest bystander had to duck, to avoid being hit by a flying chocolate cream pie which had been lovingly prepared by Gordon Ramsay. 171   Oh, the weather outside is frightful... betty Done 22 12/31/2020     A large thunderstorm was right in our path! The pilot banked to avoid it but it seemed to swoop toward us, and in moments were were engulfed in the savory smells of Christmas dinner cooking! 170   The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner! betty Done 23 1/13/2020     Would you pass the TV remote control? I need to find out what the score is. I guess I could find out on my phone, but turkey grease had dripped all over it. 169   A Breath of Fresh Air bonnie Done 22 11/15/2019      The fear was simply too much, so I picked up a fish and started patting it, hoping it would not snarl and bite him anymore. 168   Toiling at 3 a.m. betty Done 22 10/13/2019     $431.18 for a total new sewer system, new pipes, and 2 new commodes. Now we are rocking, baby! I was so delighted that I pulled out my Mars bar which I save for special occasions. 167   The Reckoning of the Kiwis xander Done 22 7/28/2019     They would be able to rescue the kangeroos... We knew they were getting colder and colder all the time, and with the power out, we couldn't use the microwave to heat them up again. 166   Somebody's Gotta Do It ! betty Done 22 7/8/2019     The vet was astounded. He said, "I have never seen mange like it before... it must have been caused by faulty logic!" 165   I love Thunderstorms ! betty Done 21 6/10/2019     Maybe the best remedy would be to accept that you can't do laundry if the power is out. So just relax and admire the autograph. "You rock! Love, Thunderstorms" 164   Wrapping those Christmas Presents ! betty Done 23 1/9/2019     With each note I could include a handmade gift tag to indicate who it's from-and-to, but instead I'd really rather use this stick of dynamite! 163   Let's Set Fire to the Woods xander Done 21 12/7/2018     I had to take a break and drink some ice cold Mountain Dew and eat a bite of pecan praline nougat covered in sticky napalm. 162   Some Kind of Adventure xander Done 23 9/10/2018     We rowed with all our might and soon we reached the boundary between the dimensions. 161   That Garage ! betty Done 22 8/9/2018     He flipped the couch over violently, and once he had our attention, screamed, "NOT THOSE!!" Exasperated, I loaded my shotgun. 160   I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ? betty Done 24 8/3/2018     Those guys in blue uniforms always know what to do! They just waltz in and crap on the floor. 159   A large, healthy tuft of stump grass bonnie Done 22 7/18/2018     Mesmerized, we ate popcorn and drank beer while the spectacle continued. Eventually we ran out of mushroom booze. 158   Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse betty Done 21 7/11/2018     Wild animals belong back in their natural habitats which could be the jungle, savannah, or maybe the deep, dark secrets of the mind. 157   Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus betty Done 22 7/6/2017     SUCCESS!! With their youthful energy and can-do attitude, nothing could stop the students from rioting about the demolition of the omelet bar. 156   San Antonio Vacation greg Done 22 5/27/2017     She then pounded the table for emphasis, causing all the stray animals to congregate in Bonnie's back yard. What to feed them??? I know! We can give them bowls of scorpions! 155   Will That Snow Ever Melt? ! betty Done 21 2/5/2017     The nearest one is right next doo' Let's walk over there, introduce ourselves to the new neighbor, and say, "Hey, hey, hey, hey. What's going on?" 154   Different Pizza Toppings greg Done 21 1/11/2017     I am sure Donald Trump himself would order at least five! Then arrange them attractively around the orange pools of grease that the pepperoni left behind. 153   But I don't want to! bonnie Done 20 11/13/2016     That's everything we need for assembling a Gatling gun! And just in time, too. Any minute now the UPS man will come down the street in his brown truck... 152   We Need More Enthusiasm ! betty Done 22 10/16/2016     Someone needs to pour on his head a bucket of vomit! It was from the party last night! Everyone drank too much, and everyone will clap and cheer when they see it! 151   Xander's New Dorm Room bonnie Done 21 9/9/2016      Of course Xander won because he had the best aim, and because he also had the best laundry hamper in the whole building, word got around and students were constantly knocking on his door to see it! 150   Trying to Keep Cool ! betty Done 22 8/20/2016     It was cooler because we switched the fan to counter-clockwise, and that made us feel sleepy. So we immediately went loco. 149   The Stump Vine bonnie Done 21 4/26/2016     A neighbor said I was using up too much sunshine. Irritated, I told her to quit telling me that the Stump Vine exists. "It's not real!" I shouted. 148   Laundry colleen Done 20 4/2/2016     Well, in that case, we should string up some clothesline in the back yard. One end we could wrap around the big pine tree, and the other end we could tie to the neck of an ISIS terrorist! Hahaha! 147   It's snowing!!! colleen Done 29 2/22/2016      Get cartons of Cheetos and Cherry Smash at Costco and store them in shoeboxes which were then shoved under the bed, next to the pile of slush the dog fell into! 145   Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !! betty Done 21 2/5/2016     We packed the extra stuff into a priority box and sent it to Hell in a handbasket! And there to welcome it into eternal damnation was none other than Xander and Ethan! 144   Heeeelllllloooooo there!!! colleen Done 20 1/10/2016     I gingerly circumnavigated the sharp rocks and came upon an enormous double cheeseburger. Next to it was a plastic pot containing a pitiful plant, nearly dead from lack of internet service. 143   Resolutions for the New Year ! betty Done 22 1/9/2016     I took a personality test and I turned out to be an introvert. So I thought I would work on that and turned to the person next to me, and I said to him "What were you thinking?!?! You aren't a cow!!" 142   Ordering Online Christmas Presents ! betty Done 21 12/14/2015     If only I had gone to a reputable mafioso, I would have been able to get a successful hit ordered for the guy who makes all the deliveries. 141   Dual Composters greg Done 21 12/13/2015     All I smelled was the thick, sticky smoke from Stevens' smouldering burn pile. I told him I could compost those yard clippings, but he said "Stop looking at my bum and get on with your work!" 140   Deli Bologna greg Done 22 11/28/2015     Behind the fridge were puddles of spilled condiments and half-rotted vegetables. The odor of it all made me swell with joy. 139   Getting Ready for Fall ! betty Done 21 10/29/2015     Also, Roger Young seemed to be moving our boundary line in his favor. To counter that, Cliff decided to shred them. 138   Slatherage greg Done 21 9/16/2015     Only a very petite model could fit in that dress! Not only was it useful for safely snagging escaped animals, you could also use it for compost. 137   Growing Those Tomatoes ! betty Done 21 8/1/2015      Unexpectedly, the plants were hit with a terrible blight which quickly made them perk up. I was satisfied with that. 136   Midnight snack colleen Done 21 6/11/2015     Then through a little crack in the sugary glaze I saw several disgusting guests on late-night talk shows. 135   That New Smart Phone betty Done 22 6/10/2015     "I'm sorry, but your son-in-law has cancelled your phone service. We can start a new contract for you and bill it to the nearest patriarch." 134   NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS greg Done 24 6/3/2015      He's bluish purple, he's fuzzy, he's a little obnoxious..... his name must be stricken from the Lamb's Book of Life. That'll teach 'em! 133   Why me!?!! colleen Done 23 6/3/2015      I wonder if Danny Speight would let us borrow his passes to attend a free movie at Regal Cinemas. The options were spaghetti, lasagna, or rigatoni. 132   Backyard Projects betty Done 22 5/28/2015     Thinking I was about to hang a hippopotamus, the owner of the garden center rushed over, alarmed yet civil. 131   Cupcakes! colleen Done 22 5/26/2015     You can use sprinkles, candy, curls of chocolate, even unusual options such as little Hulk faces made of butter and green-colored strips of bacon. 129   Climbing Enchanted Rock betty Done 21 5/2/2015     Severe angst caused them to sit and have some pie and cookies. 128   I Need to Take a Trip ! betty Done 22 4/16/2015     You never want to lace-up shoes to the airport, because they are too hard to get on and off, especially if they are laced with arsenic! 127   Bonnie's New Tutoring Job bonnie Done 27 4/16/2015     The children proceeded to make cookies to sell to raise enough money for Bonnie's bail bond. 126   Getting Ready for New Year's Eve betty Done 22 2/18/2015      I am sure I put them next to the loaded gun. It was a .38 revolver which I bought at the Dollar General Store. They were having a big sale. 125   New Year's Resolutions bonnie Done 22 12/24/2014     Now you know how to make your neighbors your best friends for life! Just walk over, knock on their door and with great enthusiasm, say, "I knew I could do it!" 124   Get Those Presents Wrapped ! betty Done 22 12/24/2014     You will recognize the delivery personnel by their red noses so cold and dripping with molasses. Or was it maple syrup? 123   We Need a Plumber ! betty Done 22 12/12/2014     The toilet won't even flush. Now what?! I went outside to get a fresh bucket of water, just in case it catches fire. 122   Christmas Decorations bonnie Done 22 12/12/2014     Some people think they are dead! But they're just acting. They're just lying there waiting to be strung from shrub to shrub. 121   I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !! betty Done 21 11/28/2014      We needed a room freshener bad! So I sprayed the room with a can of Whoop-Ass! 120   The Great Beyond xander Done 21 9/21/2014     Gandhi, Einstein, and Owen Wilson. I figured that third choice made perfect sense because he had just eaten a loaf of bread the size of his head. He then extemporaneously launched into song. 119   Summer bonnie Done 20 9/21/2014      This spa was my favorite. It boasted a supersize Beefsteak tomato that must have weighed 10 pounds. 118   Best Video Game of the Year ! betty Done 22 8/15/2014     A great number of reddish-orange Doritos. They were next to the Cheetos, Slim Jims, Twizzlers, and a box of Poop. 117   The best movie EVER!!! colleen Done 21 7/18/2014      My vivid imagination--I never would have guessed she would DIE from it! 116   What I Saw When I Took A Walk II greg Done 23 5/28/2014     I shut my eyes and fell into a manhole! Fortunately, I landed on my feet on a big pile of money. 115   You know... bonnie Done 23 11/10/2013     For breakfast I would rather have one bar of dark chocolate than ten bars of "The Star-Spangled Banner". 114   Whatever is on your mind ! betty Done 24 10/27/2013     Some people work better after they have cleansed their systems with special vegetarian drinks made with pureed kale. But you couldn't tell because your pants are on fire! 113   Nursery Rhyme greg Done 22 10/24/2013     Warm milk goes down like silk. But warm tea goes down like vanilla pudding: smooth and chewed. 112   Global Warming ! betty Done 26 8/19/2013     Any second now I expected a giant squid to lunge forward and puke his guts out onto the floor. 110   Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia ! betty Done 22 4/19/2013     I maybe had enough to get by without doing laundry. With that load off my mind, I turned my attention to the Mack truck barreling straight towards me! 109   Thanksgiving bonnie Done 19 12/19/2012     I didn't have time now to baste the turkey. Drat! I just turned it over and dabbed on plenty of makeup... 108   I Blew Up My Lab! greg Done 21 10/26/2012      I was at my wit's end! I figured I would clean it up with the blood of my enemies! And occasionally a strawberry Yoo-hoo. 107   Christmas Shopping III betty Done 21 2/11/2012     In the glove box was a carefully wrapped gyro sandwich, hot and freshly made with lots of whipped cream and chopped up maraschino cherries and topped off with premium unleaded. 106   Let's Organize Your Garage ! betty Done 22 7/25/2011     You never know what you might find under all those boxes. In fact, down on the floor in the far corner, I found a reason to live again! 105   Christmas Shopping II greg Done 21 2/24/2011     "I am calling the cops! If you make one false move, I will take care of you by spiking the Christmas punch bowl with Jack Daniels!" 103   Zombie Attack! greg Done 22 6/10/2010     They ate too many brains which caused them to jump up and down and sing Yankee Doodle. We weren't expecting that... 102   The Art of Decluttering betty Done 21 8/4/2009     Zombies had invaded and were eating people's brains and throwing newspapers helter skelter down from the attic! 101   The hathood of the traveling brown hat. rhonda Done 21 3/20/2009     They would never suspect that the next place I put the hat would be like crushing prunes into stewed okra. 100   The Nephews come to Visit greg Done 22 12/9/2008     Maybe one day they'll learn to stop fighting over who got to choose the ice cream flavor. Well we finally settled on Swirled Tempest of Flaming Death... 99   Laser Eye Surgery greg Done 20 10/3/2008     First into each eye we will put some Vicodin in your hand. A couple of these and you won't feel a thing! I should know, I use them whenever I am doing brain surgery. 98   Abiathar the Superhero! greg Done 21 4/27/2007     Abiathar needs Artorios's help! So Abiathar asked him to pass the potatoes. 97   My New Video Game! betty Done 21 3/13/2007     I jumped off the building right into the middle of 5 contaminated thugs who began pummeling the Playstation in frustration. 96   Fixing up my Garden greg Done 22 1/29/2007     I yelled, "Hey you kids! Get out of my flowers!" But they were eating all the leaves off my periwinkles. 95   Rearranging My New Tech Room betty Done 22 1/31/2007     Those two cats shed so much that every day I need to load Oblivion and do some more killin'. 94   Speeding Down the Highway betty Done 21 12/4/2006     He tried pumping the brakes again to see if they really could go 120 mph. 93   Having Surgery greg Done 20 12/1/2006     We gave him two strawberry Twinkies which worked remarkably well, considering that he was dangerously close to defaulting on his car loan. 92   Accountant at Work greg Done 21 4/1/2006     Did you know that poor-quality windows could cost you a bundle in heating bills? That's why I always read the Dilbert cartoon as soon as I get to work. 91   What I Saw When I Took a Walk betty Done 21 3/31/2006     I thought my throat would explode, when suddenly out of a ditch slithered a gigantic, slobbering, museum-class specimen of a loogie. 90   Learning a Foreign Language greg Done 22 2/4/2006     When they say Cinqo de Mayo they don't mean, "Drop the mayonnaise"; what they really mean is, "Show me your passport." 89   Putting out Christmas Lights betty Done 21 2/3/2006     99 bottles of beer! They must be coming from Mars! We're being invaded on Christmas! 88   Lazor Beam Hydra greg Done 22 12/16/2005      He pushed the button of the vending machine expecting a deli sandwich, but instead, down the chute came a grenade! 87   Concert at Chrysler Hall betty Done 21 12/14/2005     The maestro heading down the center aisle was Hulk Hogan! 86   Touring Europe bonnie Done 21 12/13/2005     For dessert I asked for English Trifle, a scrumptious dessert of whipped cream, fresh fruit, and sponge cake soaked with nervous sweat. 85   Christmas Shopping betty Done 22 12/1/2005     "I want paper not plastic! You stupidhead!" He stomped his feet and then he yelled, "God bless us, every one!" 84   Working at McDonald's greg Done 21 12/1/2005     Reluctantly, I placed the tomato heels and limp lettuce on each one of the cash registers. 83   Trip to the Pumpkin Patch sherry Done 22 11/7/2005     Boy, it stank, but the flames reached to pick up a jar of homemade apple butter! 82   test2 greg Done 24 9/16/2015     I think you should take a break now in order to crush those who oppose us. 81   Going Into Space II greg Done 21 10/28/2005     Secure your seatbelt and your helmet and make sure the main power switch is turned to cheese. 80   Taking Computer Class betty Done 20 10/27/2005     Believe me, your brain will start to eat up all your system resources. 79   Cooking Show II greg Done 21 9/27/2005     "I know these eggs are fresh! Break this one open and you will see why you should never cook with Spam on television." (laugh track) 78   Potty Training the Twins betty Done 21 9/24/2005     You know eating prunes will always cause them to cooperate because they want to buy combat boots. 77   Noisy Neighbors bonnie Done 21 9/23/2005     The scintillating tones of Mozart, Bach, and Beethoven drifted with all their smokey offensive odor toward my patio! 76   Driving Across Country betty Done 22 9/16/2005     I opened the window to breathe some fresh air, but all I could smell was bacon and coffee. 75   NASCAR Days greg Done 21 9/9/2005     Suddenly, my nose started bleeding, and to wipe it, all I had was a sunburn and a hangover. 74   Conserving Water bonnie Done 22 9/9/2005     Three days later, we were so thirsty our tongues were sticking to the plan. This is great news! 73   The Best Diet Ever! sherry Done 21 8/31/2005     This diet was going to make me look like Britney Spears... well, at least like her Dad. 72   What a Yard Sale! betty Done 20 8/23/2005     I am so limber I bet I could put my foot under my bra. 71   Test Pilot greg Done 21 8/17/2005     Moo-ha ha! One more flyover and I will punch in the control panel, because obviously it's not doing any good! 70   A Day in the Life of a Dork sherry Done 21 8/14/2005     Your nose is too much to resist. This is why I never go into CompUSA unsupervised. 69   Time for a Checkup! bonnie Done 21 8/3/2005     Scratching the rash had left me with less than $5 in my pocket. 68   Building My New Cat Condo betty Done 21 7/10/2005     So to save floor space, you could try cementing your mouth shut and let me do the thinking, OK? 67   Putting Up Wallpaper greg Done 21 6/12/2005     I went back downstairs and fixed myself a meatball lunch pocket. It was so good, I licked it again. 66   My Newest Home Improvement Project! betty Done 20 5/17/2005     In order to avoid the old nests of mice and rats between the walls, we decided to install a urinal in every bathroom! 65   Phone Call bonnie Done 21 5/9/2005     A simple telephone table is all that you need. It should be made out of chrome-vanadium and titanium. 64   Airline Pilot greg Done 21 4/23/2005     No time to lose; the passengers were eating up all the pretzels! 63   I'm Not In It For The... bonnie Done 21 4/6/2005     Another time I totally uppercut some guy because he opened a window. Now that's what I call a breakfast drink! 62   Hosting a Cooking Show betty Done 21 4/12/2005     It was too late, the hot cheese was dripping down onto the bottom of the oven and causing a terrible night with Nielsen's ratings. 61   Ain't It Cool? greg Done 22 4/7/2005     My underwear felt 2 sizes too small. I could never go through the whole day like this! So I headed for the rodeo. 60   Competing with Starbuck's bonnie Done 21 4/2/2005     "You have to SMILE at the customer! Make them feel welcome! Here, I'll show you." With that, she turned around and punched her in the face. 59   My First Ocean Cruise betty Done 21 3/28/2005     Just act nonchalant, find stuff fun to do, and try to avoid getting eaten by a seagull! 58   Captain Underpants greg Done 21 3/23/2005     He will surely reward me with a big wad of toilet paper stuck in my butt. 57   New Year's Resolutions! bonnie Done 21 3/18/2005     With a stern eye and haughty sniff, my personal trainer turned to pick up the equipment for the next round of cow-tipping. 56   Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon betty Done 21 3/13/2005     Lieutenant Leotard and his gymnastic Cadre of Doom were attacking the Mars Landing Base. 55   Spy Base Alpha greg Done 21 3/8/2005     We were too quickly running out of everything: bottled water, powdered milk, and freeze-dried corpses of agents of years past. 54   Texas Winter bonnie Done 20 3/3/2005     Great hailstones began falling from the sky. They were as big as beanbag chairs! 53   Christmas Shopping - 2004 betty Done 20 2/26/2005     How weary I felt! It was as if I had no limit on my credit cards! 52   Modeling Agency greg Done 21 2/21/2005     Show me that anorexic girl who came in a while ago. She has the look we want. She must weigh close to 350 pounds. 51   All I Need Is... bonnie Done 21 2/16/2005     Let's see... i before e except after c... unless it's "weird"... in which case jelly doughnuts will be your best bet. 50   My Summer at the Archeological Dig betty Done 21 2/11/2005     My hair was matted with mud and straw. We discovered that under the dirt was the wrapper from my Brown Mule. 49   Shopping at Lowe's greg Done 20 2/6/2005     As I quickly rounded the corner, I ran right into the forklift! Then I wallpapered the bathroom with all my receipts. 48   Anorexia Therapy bonnie Done 21 2/1/2005     To add to the great nutritional value of the yogurt, you can add chopped tuna. 47   Building My New House! betty Done 23 1/27/2005     Human filth would start roaming the streets if Kerry was elected president. That's why I needed an expert carpenter. 46   Ultimate Ninja II greg Done 21 1/22/2005     I cried "All your base are belong to us!" Then I jumped over the wall and into the swirling vortex of fear! 45   Election Day! betty Done 21 1/17/2005     The DNC rally was handing out free copies of the Communist Manifesto, which were all autographed by Snoop Doggy Dog and Jesse Jackson. 44   A Day in the Life of... bonnie Done 20 1/12/2005     He could hear the millions of soldier-ant feet marching, on the move to their next conquest ... to round up all the squirrels and ship them to Alaska. 43   High School Carwash greg Done 20 1/7/2005     We heard tires squealing as the two head honchos revved up for the race of the year. It was a chicken race of death. 42   Pushed Over the Edge bonnie Done 21 1/2/2005     Something had to be done! The doctor quickly cleaned the nostrils and inserted a peanut-butter sandwich into the VCR. 41   Cleaning Out the Garage betty Done 21 12/28/2004     It will really taste good with a piece of moldy bread! 40   HULK SMASH! greg Done 20 12/23/2004     We pressed our backs against the wall, trying to hide in the shadow of the titanic Doom-Bot. 39   Joining the PTA bonnie Done 20 12/18/2004     What do they think? That we're all a bunch of slack-jawed faggots. 38   Going to the County Fair betty Done 20 12/13/2004     I grabbed a ticket to go see the biggest cow on the planet. When I peeped through the fence at it, it looked like a NINJA! 37   News at 11 greg Done 20 12/8/2004     It was going to be a very big news day! Hurricane Bonnie had wiped out all of the office staff. 36   Investigating Vegetarianism bonnie Done 21 12/3/2004     This meal should keep the average person satisfied for thirty seconds. 35   Boppy's Trip to Texas betty Done 21 11/28/2004     We scraped it up off the road, and put it in a tortilla! 34   Dance Class bonnie Done 21 11/23/2004     You must have enough energy left to do four running leaps diagonally across the dance floor. That takes stamina, strength, and a classy outfit that fits like a second skin. For color consultation you must see an Avon representative. 33   The Minotaur King greg Done 21 11/18/2004     Towering above me was the Minotaur King himself. I shook in my boots. I sweated pools of gravy. 32   The Bizarre Bazaar bonnie Done 20 11/13/2004     I don't have enough money. Just wait while I go over to that ATM where I can get some fresh strawberries! 31   My Trip Around the World betty Done 21 11/8/2004     Who knows? We might even end up with hemmorhoids so bad we won't even be able to sit down. 30   Downtown Precinct greg Done 22 11/3/2004     I could barely keep my lunch down. Fortunately I had 2 sets of handcuffs. 29   Growing Up on a Farm betty Done 21 10/29/2004     The bickering stopped when we heard a loud explosion coming from the outhouse. Then we realized it was just Sid fartin'. 28   The Dinosaur World bonnie Done 21 10/24/2004     But suddenly we heard a loud rushing! Coming straight toward us was a giant footprint in the mud. 27   Gardening with Betty greg Done 20 10/19/2004     With a little watering, fertilizing, and TLC, your garden will soon be overflowing with marijuana plants. 26   On the Open Road bonnie Done 21 10/14/2004     Every time I get to the bottom, I have this feeling of diarrhea running down my pants leg. 25   The International Village bonnie Done 21 10/9/2004     We were all scared. The forces of Hauptmann Gestapo were closing in, and Molly was really enjoying her Chinese Chop Suey. 24   Weekend in Paris greg Done 21 10/4/2004     He will bring you a complimentary flute of champagne, bubbly and faintly smelling of sewer gas. 23   Xander Goes Shopping betty Done 22 9/29/2004     "Let's see if the robbers are still in the parking lot." We dashed out and found them sitting in a puddle of urine. 22   Fart Dictionary bonnie Done 21 9/24/2004     Your only hope is to fart again, only this time fart harder, and hopefully it'll be toxic enough to kill any witnesses. 21   Boot Camp greg Done 21 9/19/2004     "A spoiler, chromed blower, and a fire-engine red paint job!" I exclaimed, beaming. "And I just might get it, too, it's just what I need in my tent when we go camping out in the woods. 20   Good Old Pop's Drive-in betty Done 21 9/14/2004     Every other time the food had tasted fresh and good. Maybe it was because the cook turned out to be an ex-con. 19   Going Back to College betty Done 21 9/9/2004     Take the first right, the second left, up the single flight of steps, and then you will be in jail! 18   If You Give a Mouse a Cookie bonnie Done 21 9/4/2004     ...A gourmet delight, complete with linen napkin, real silverware, sparkling crystal goblets, and soft relaxing heavy metal music. 17   Our Summer Vacation betty Done 21 8/30/2004     So we hightailed it to the rest area so we could throw up. 16   Trapped in a Mine greg Done 21 8/25/2004     So he took one stick of dynamite, and he cut it into one inch pieces and used them to start a fire. 14   Our Visit to the Library bonnie Done 21 8/15/2004     I loaded all the returned books onto the library cart and wheeled them into the back room where I could sort them in peace, and put them where they belonged: in the toilet. 13   Stress Reduction Techniques bonnie Done 23 8/10/2004     After I take a nap, I always feel like killing somebody! 12   My New Job at Burger King betty Done 20 8/5/2004     Should we ask the customers to leave and go somewhere that doesn't suck? 11   Cooking with Grandma betty Done 22 7/31/2004     No one could beat the taste of right-out-of-the-oven freshly baked golden brown teenage girls. 10   Ultimate Ninja greg Done 22 7/26/2004     With that, he jumped into the air doing a phoenix burning somersault, and launched himself into a flying killer leap, landing on his arch enemy and completely smashing his record for number of enemies smashed with a single swing of his Bayou Croc Crescent Kick. 8   Wall Street Blues greg Done 22 7/16/2004     I also want all your money. I mean ALL of it. Hand it over or I will give you a million dollars... 7   Going into Space betty Done 21 7/11/2004     These little wafers, made out of Soylent Green are so tasty, that the spaceship crew wanted to eat a whole galaxy. 5   Ye Olde Medieval Days betty Done 21 7/1/2004     First the catapult must be reloaded. So everyone got together and loaded it with sausage. 4   Barrister the Lawyer Cat betty Done 21 6/26/2004     "I'm so stressed out I can't think. I need a break." So she put down her pencil and went to hell in a handbasket. 3   The Big Conundrum betty Done 21 6/21/2004     Your strength will be like a river, rushing along pell mell with not a backward glance, gleefully heading for a sure collision with that wall! 2   Woo baby! greg Done 21 6/16/2004     "What does a girl have to do to get some service around here?!" Her manner frightened the man somewhat, so he stammered, "Woo Baby, I just wet my pants!" 1   Big Computer greg Done 18 6/11/2004     I will dump this load of manure just where it will do the most good. And the best place for that will be in the kitchen...