Betty's Turn-Down Game

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Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
You are the biggest dummy I have ever seen! Can you not see that bird's nest? In that tree, right up there! You can see it, right next to the big ferris wheel. Whee! Let's go ride it! We can see the whole countryside and we can see all the people in the truck stop, staring at the calendar, realizing it's only a few days before Summer!
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
There was a collective exhale and then an immediate inhale, because the last thing we wanted was a fainting crowd!
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
OooOOooOOoo. They also complained last week when I took my trash to the dump, I ran into an old friend, who enthusiastically said to me, " This kind of lichen is edible! Look how much there is, we could eat all day!" I nearly gagged at the idea. "I'm not really hungry," I said, "
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
My butt was sore from sitting around in the terminal for hours and hours. uh oh, what's that noise? It sounds like burping...could it be from that big Christmas dinner??
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
While waiting for the turkey to finished roasting, the oven twiddled its thumbs, wishing it had remembered to charge its phone.
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
It was a fearsome moment indeed! Everyone held their breath in terror. Suddenly, the entire stage collapsed, exploded, and burst into flames, killing everyone instantly!
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
Well, e-friends anyway. Those were the ones I trolled the most. And one time this guy said to me, " Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?" I was so frustrated because it seemed like I had been so close to finishing!
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
But that wouldn't stop us kiwis. We started foraging for firewood, and before long have a nice, big pile. Now we just needed to get it started, but none of us had a lighter or matches.
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
What messy cats. First I get a shower then wipe down the cats, and as for VoilaLeiya... I am sending her back to the manufacturer! Sending IT back. This was the most disappointing robotic vacuum I had ever used.
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
Bones and joints moved in unnatural ways and the pain which I knew was coming took its own sweet time to arrive, which confused my brain even more.
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
Everyone was happy. Everyone was full of good food. And everyone vowed, "I won't stop until I get my revenge on you!" It was then I finally realized as I reflected on everything that had happened, that this had truly been the best Christmas ever!
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
But it looks and tastes like snot so wash it down with very dry sticks and pine straw. We gathered all that in a little pile, and then went looking for the all important matches. Can't have a fire without matches. For good measure he also grabbed a can of whoopass should do the tric' Nevertheless, let us with all due diligence seek to find a pool of water or a stream or something to put the fire out!
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
Having trudged for miles upon miles through untamed wilderness, they at last collapsed as they reached the final step of their journey. In the valley below them lay a dangerous but lucrative ruin from ages past, filled with strange creatures and treasures. Night was falling, so in the morning they would check the weather report and then decide how to split up the gold.
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
Man! What a find! I think they should be displayed in the Alamo gift shop! Right next to all the boxes full of stuff ready to donate to the thrift store!
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
How fun! And you definitely need some actual sunglasses if you're going to have an outside job in the summer, as well as a hat, sunscreen, and obviously you also need to have the emergency number nearby in case of a drunk late night customer.
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
We protected our eyes and ears with homemade insecticide, made with vinegar, water, and a tablespoon of Miracle-Gro should do the trick I also thought a little pruning would help, so I pulled out of my pocket my pair of tweezers.
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
I really need a new pet. Hmmm... I think I will pick out a sweet little Donald Trump, the 45th president of the United States, wanted to meet Milo.
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
Chairs were flying, fists were flying, and threats were splashed across the campus center walls with hot pink paint.
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
Give me a bottle of Mrs. of A!" She then pounded the table for emphasis, causing all the stray animals to congregate in Bonnie's back yard. What to feed them??? I know! We can give them bowls of scorpions!
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
We could use the snowblower we borrowed from Danny. I am sure he won't mind if we use it to insulate the garden from the cold.
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
In fact, use the big jar! Some people also like to add anchovies...ewww. Then there is the delicious fruit pizza! Sugar cookie crust with strawberries, kiwi fruit, pineapple all arranged in a pattern of pleasing proportions. The cheese should go on first, though. If you put the cheese on last, the vegetables will get sour and moldy if you leave them out of the frig too long.
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
politicians, but true to form, they proceeded to just laugh and point and not help at all. Not only were the kids running around like crazy, the adults were really getting hungry and with the hunger came grumpiness.
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
everyone responded, with enthusiasm. High-fiving all around, we proceeded to hunt for what we would need: big gift baskets filled with bubble bath, chocolate candy, and packets of candy.
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
Where was that coming from? !!Xander opened his closet door and found 4 little flowerpots! Choosing his favorite one, he popped it into the microwave for 3 minutes, and when he took it out, it looked like a true man cave! Xander's new home and everyone in the dorm gathered there to eat fresh bread and butter.
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
They were unfortunately unimpressed, and said haul that big garden cart over here! We are going to hose water into it and then fill it it with ice. Turn on a high-powered fan and aim it toward my neighbor's open back door. Whee! Now for the fireworks! I hid behind the shrubs and biting my nails, waited for the manicurist to arrive.
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
she said gravely, "It is real." Somber, she looked straight into my eyes for a moment. she said gravely, "It is real." I shouted. Somber, she looked straight into my eyes for a moment.
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
The only container I could find was a big plastic laundry basket. One big one should be all I need. More than that would mean I would have to spend the next 3 hours sorting it!
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
I said, "I could sell this for $50,000 and send Ethan to William and Mary Law School! Even Donald Trump would want to own this... I will call him right away and say."
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
So besides vacuuming the whole house, we also decided to rearrange the chess pieces while she's not looking. Then, nonchalantly Bonnie walked out of the airplane and down the ramp.
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
Now what?! I gingerly circumnavigated the sharp rocks and came upon an enormous double cheeseburger. It must have weighed two pounds. It almost covered the plate! Next to it was a plastic pot containing a pitiful plant, nearly dead from lack of internet service.
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
Perfectly pressed and tailored, it did wonders for my mood, and I felt so happy and confident, I called up all my friends and invited them over for a little thing we like to call an "Intervention."
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
The only way to cover that will be to file bankruptcy!! Man, I will hate to go to court and stand before the magistrate and hope you don't get thrown in jail until you paid every penny because you were cruel to your debtors and the king found about it. Sweating, I said "Give me that package!"
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
Stop looking at my bum and get on with your work!" "Do you think I am a GARDENER??? Because if so, you are correct!" He turned to go, which was awkward because he was carrying bucket load after bucket load of stinking garbage and pouring it carefully into the concrete mixer.
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
The only way this can be rectified is to put all the meats through the sausage grinder again and then display them in the windows, for all to admire. Stunned, the grocer just stood there holding the orange he had been peeling, he squeezed it a little too hard and a spurt flew directly into his display of twenty-five varieties of Deli Bologna!
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
Unfortunately, just at the last second, I slipped in the mud and slid right into a big pile of manure. That was the last straw! He had had it! He was mad as hell, and wasn't going to take a long time to get through all that!
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
Only a very petite model could fit in that dress! And look at the price tag!
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
And the surrounding area was covered in moldy gray moss that smelled like gym socks that had been stuffed with rotten onions and baby vomit. I took them and soaked them overnight.
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
Layers and layers of vegetables, meats and cheeses, all between two pieces of angel food cake. Now where is that whipped cream and those sugared syrupy pasta dishes, which are only appropriate for Christmastime!
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
How different that was! We had to wait days or weeks for an answer! Now we only have to wait to get the bill. I am on pins and needles. I am sitting on the front porch now watching for the app to close without losing my patience with it.
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
It was going to be a whirlwind adventure, scenic, and of course buying lots of tickets: to the movies, to the amusement park, and to go to the back of the bus where you can be alone so you can read your fortune cookie!
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
Ethan will be glad to help you if you find your wallet is straining to hold all that money. First, we'll go out to lunch. Then we'll get a new phone.
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
They then proceeded to knock over all my pink flamingoes in protest and put arsenic in the birdbath. That was the last straw! I needed to go to the store to buy more straws to build my custom-crafted trellis.
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
You can use sprinkles, candy, curls of chocolate...even tiny toys or other unusual options such as little Hulk faces made of butter and green-colored strips of bacon, ground-up meatballs, and garnished with chicken wings.
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
My dearest hope is that everyone will be responsible and keep their hands at the 9 o'clock and 3 o'clock positions on the steering wheel as they are driving their golf balls across the pitted rock dome, the sun started to set, and severe angst caused them to sit and have some pie and cookies.
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
I was watching for turbans, scarves, and most of all I was mindful of the gap. If there's one thing I know, it's that you never want to lace-up shoes to the airport, because they are too hard to get on and off, especially if they are laced with arsenic!
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
That job took you to the back room to show you where to sit and how long it will take for the next assignment. In fact it should take about this long: 15 and a half femtoseconds. You would need a pulsed X-ray laser to measure that time frame!
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
I am sure I put them in the sock drawer, next to the loaded gun. It was a .38 revolver which I bought at the Dollar General Store. They were having a big sale and on the main shelves were stacks of old magazines that I had never read. Popular Science, Popular Mechanics, Family Handyman, as well as buckets of confetti, streamers, and plenty of loud outfits that we got from the thrift store.
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
What's that, you say? Well, say you resolve to go jogging every morning. You make an agreement that every morning this person will cry a river of tears, because of thankfulness that you made such a positive difference! Good for you! Keep up the good work! You know, nobody ever changed the world by sitting on a stack of steaming hot pancakes.
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
From there they will be handed out to homeless people. What will they do with them? Obviously, they will put them in the refrigerator asap. Chop! Chop! Once they get good and cold, they will be ready for pickup!
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
Open a window! Go next door and borrow a plumber's snake, the electric kind with lots of power! It's okay to rent those because they disinfect them with a substance called Liquid Nails which I bought online from a company named Tethys, after the Titaness of fresh water."
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
That's great!" I said, " Now I know my electric bill will go up!" I was kidding of course, but I knew now the county would surely waive the rule about no inflatables taller than 40 feet!
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
The cave floor was piled high with years of bat guano. The stench was unbearable and permeated every corner of the room.
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
"CHEESE! CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!" Sheogorath bellowed, solving the mystery of his dazzling appearance.
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
So much in fact that I had to cover my eyes with cucumbers slices. This spa was my favorite. It boasted a supersize Beefsteak tomato that must have weighed 10 pounds each. "How could you think we would need this much sun tan lotion?!! We have only so many square inches of skin!
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
At least I was able to kill all the drop bears and goblins, well, sort of, I guess." Then she thought to herself: "I sure do hope there aren't eggs in that cave over there." And with that, the screen went blank!! What the hell?!?!?! What a bad game ending!!! But what an awesome game. What a garbled mess this has become!!!
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
They didn't realize that my excellent sense of hearing allowed me to pick up even the slightest nuance of sound, and my vivid imagination I never would have guessed she would DIE from it!
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
Hey! That's my peanut butter!! Gimme back my Game Boy !!! Don't you know I can punch you in your face! Take that! I ran away cackling like a slowly creeping snail and everywhere it went it gathered oodles of poodles and strudels with noodles.
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
I thought, "That doesn't sound good for breakfast." For breakfast I would rather have one bar of dark chocolate than ten bars of "The Star-Spangled Banner".
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
Quick!! Get on him, before he prepared the meal. Good hygiene is always optional when skydiving. It's not like anyone can smell you at 10,000 feet! But by the time you finish your last task, you have run out of time and lost all your money causing you to giggle with delight.
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
But was it distilled or well water? To test it, we inserted a non-compete clause into the document. It now read, "I (fill in your name) will not directly or indirectly engage in any business that competes with the cupboard of Old Mother Hubbard."
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
It's the apocalypse for sure! No wait, that's not blood, it's diarrhea. Someone must have manually opened the seal! Now contamination will leak into the pantry and make the sacks of flour wet and the cans of soup rust.
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
Nobody wants strangers pawing through his underwear drawer.
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
Now doesn't a bacon Philly cheesesteak sound good right now instead of an ol' plastic one. This is the time to break out the nice tableware! Your good china, your sparkling wine.
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
When I heard that City of Heroes was in danger of shutting down, I got so mad that I slammed the door; the shock rattled the shelf and down to the floor fell a beaker full of precious golden rings.
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
After 30 seconds (which seems like an eternity, given that we could still hear it breathing), we finally found our car in the parking lot after looking for 2 hours !! The darkness was so complete it was like a solid thing--a suffocating blanket of oblivion that clung to our faces and enveloped us in its lifeless embrace.
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
I really could not bear to throw away all those memories. Perhaps I could store them in a large milkshake from Chick-Fil-A. While we were there we also ordered a pizza to be delivered but when the deliveryman came, instead of a pizza he brought a box full of chocolates.
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
I yelled out the window as the car shot out of the stocking which was hanging on the mantle. I heard a rustling in the chimney, an looked up and saw a huge SALE sign!!! It covered the entire front of the store!! I'd never seen anything like it. It was so big that there was no way I could fit it into my shopping bag, so to carry it in I found an empty wastebasket.
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
But you have to hit them pretty hard to stop them, because they ate too many brains (!) which caused them to jump up and down and sing Yankee Doodle.
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
IN YOUR FACE!! HAHAHAHA!!!! Then, we passed our box of clutter in a circle like Musical Chairs, and whoever ended up with the box, then that person had to chase the Fly Lady all over the room with a butterfly net. Unfortunately she could not bear to get rid of anything after all the decluttering, so she proceeded systematically to attack the zombies!
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
Help me! I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory!" It was then we realized our next stop had to be a chinese restaurant. because big drops of sweat were pouring down my face. It was just so hot that I had to grab the hat and hurl it into a guy's open car window as I shot past him on the interstate.
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
In retaliation we created even more heroes to fight in Paragon City! When we were finished we must have totaled at least 1000 kills in the 3 hours we spend running through the sewers. We also went from level 1 to level the concrete slab so that the new gazebo would not be crooked.
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
After spending most of my life looking through corrective plastic lenses, I'd finally decided to take the plunge and get laser eye surgery.
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
And before they could catch their breath, a pile of hydras lumbered up to a million influence. Cool! and by then my hand was so sore from playing City of Heroes I had to take a break! What a revolting development! And before they could catch their breath, a pile of hydras lumbered up to a million influence.
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
In that game you'd start out in the sewers killing rats with your bare hands, then after reaching your first level, you would start hanging pictures, nice and straight.
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
My garden was in sad shape. It had been neglected for far too long and as I rolled up my sleeves, I resolved to do something about it! It was just past the crack of dawn when I noticed a bunch of slimy slugs eating away at my petunias.
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
With that junk out of the way, I was able to start moving furniture around so it made more sense. I moved the work table next to the cat food which was really starting to stink!
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
HIT THE BRAKES!! HIT THE--" He never finished his sentence, however, because that biggy size hot chocolate just spilled in his lap! He swiftly landed in full view of the spectators that had gathered to watch the race! They cheered, they waved, and they put the pedal to the metal and zoomed past the hidden radar.
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
And the best way to do that is to stop the bleeding as quickly as possible; otherwise the patient will ask for more Jello pudding than we can hope to provide.
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
As a CPA, I know all about the financial complexities involved in running a business. My name's Carl. I'm an accountant. One day the boss looked over my shoulder and started laughing hilariously, and then he bellowed, " I'm starvin'! I ain't had nuthin' to eat but maggoty bread for three stinkin' days!
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
As soon as possible, I needed to go really bad! I could the pressure building in my lower abdomen. If I waited any longer I would poop on myself!
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
Show me your passport." And I hope you have it, because it's important when traveling to be able to drink hot tea with the little finger in the air.
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
I could hear the sound of sleigh bells coming from the roof! Could it be?
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
I laugh with raucous glee. You will be sorry; you will be very sorry when I stumbled upon a fully-loaded phaser rifle. It must have been dropped by an alphatrooper when he recovered from the blow to his head, he knew he would have to activate his quantum shields before it was too late!
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
He cracked his knuckles and proceded to sing their little hearts out. and then they weren't sure what to do with the toothpicks. Nonchalantly, they looked around for the nearest restroom, not wanting to look in dire need, even though they certainly felt satisfied!
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
This made me feel very much like an Ugly American. I pulled my beret lower over my fear of crashing.
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
He smiled, sat down and boo-hooed right there in the mall. What else could happen?!! Right away we started looking for a ribbon to put on the ribbon and I was good to go!
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
at least, he would be a customer if he ever made up his mind and ordered something. I tried not to smirk when the customer called me "Luv". I knew she was from Guinea, especially when she proceeded to order a Whopper...oops, this is McDonald's!!!
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
When we counted them we ended up with 1,416 pumpkins. That was more than enough to make some pumplin pie. We made enough for 50 people! So we invited the whole neighborhood, and when they all showed up we gave them a couple bucks and told them to go fetch us a newspaper.
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
Who knows? I might be spotted by the next agency of the Redundancy Department of Redundancy. I stepped through the door and fell through a hole in the floor!
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
No light speed??? Would it help if I released the emergency brake? She smiled sweetly and pushed the button that sent them all hurtling into a black hole. What! No light speed???
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
Indoor plumbing? Well, they sure didn't have any computers, because who knows what germs are lurking on the keyboard left over from the last class?!!
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
Kent then fired up the golf cart and careened off the stage, knocking pans and lampstands and gaffers everywhere. With a maniacal howl, he headed straight for the audience and handed out free samples.
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
So don't worry, everybody poops, more or less, and it all works out in the end. If I hurried, I could get to Warehouse Store and buy another 1000 diapers before they go to college! So don't worry, everybody poops, more or less, and it all works out in the end.
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
We much have been too noisy ourselves because the neighbors called up and said, " I just wondered if you knew there's a bowling alley right up the road. It's really not necessary for you to practice at home. I think they're even open at this time: your mouth!
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
All the monounsaturated oil made it count! Because I say, if you're not going to spend enough money on a motel room, you will end up staying in a dump, probably infested with carpetbaggers.
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
I'd better get out of bed and get going, or I'll be wearing my Dale Earnhardt jumpsuit. Nobody can match my collection of his memorabilia. Why I even have his name printed on my flame-retardant suit and on my car, I don't know. Couldn't we get another sponsor, one who won't make us wear these stupid ballcaps?
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
At this rate, nobody's toilet in the entire county would ever flush completely again! This is great news! At this rate, nobody's toilet in the entire county would ever flush completely again!
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
But there's one thing that would better than that, and that's when you'll start to notice the fat just melting off! And when you look into the mirror, you will be surprised to see a box of doughnuts on the counter!
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
So when we advertised it, we exaggerated a little bit to get more people to show up. It really worked, because when we woke up and looked out the window, we saw at least 100 people waiting for us to start setting up!
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
Little do they know there are hidden bombs on board. And only I know the code to release them. Moo-ha ha! One more flyover and I will punch in the control panel, because obviously it's not doing any good!
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
I hope we never run out of pencil sharpeners because if we do, we will have to hire a bodyguard!"
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
I would look like a model off the cover of one of those muscle man magazines!! If I did, then I could REALLY feel my heart pounding! I knew I had to get out of there, and the only way to do it was to amputate from above the knee.
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
They will just love all the neat ideas I have come up with for their entertainment. For example, on the second level there will be a round hole, facing a raging fireplace.
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
They wear out or break even before you've finished one project!
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
As we've found out, it's well worth the expense in order to avoid the old nests of mice and rats between the walls, we decided to install a urinal in every bathroom! Well, I did, anyway. She thought that the circular saw would be perfect to slice the ham and salami for our lunch that day - can you believe that?"
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
"Fine, How are you?" "I'm fine! I wanted to ask if you knew there is a moose in your front yard! He seems to be trying to find candidates for his galactic space marine training academy.
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
And that's exactly what I did, much to the surprise and shock of the pilot, the rudders were stuck, and the plane was started to pitch sideways! There was only one thing to do: activate the afterburners! Yeee-haw! As pure jet fuel sprayed into the turbine combustion chambers, their heads snapped back as the pilot yelled, "yeeee-oouch!...that's gonna hurt in the morning".
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
Because quitters never win, and winners never quit. And I'm a winner! I'm also a plumber and I really like going under people's houses.
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
Great. Take them out and smile with satisfaction at that golden-brown glazed finish!
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
That hat and me go way back. Why, I remember when 8-tracks were giving way to audio cassettes! Now, music is one of those things you can't live without. It's like the heartbeat of the spirit, man. It's the soundtrack of life.
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
The biggest I've ever seen. In fact, so big, that it wouldn't even fit in the grinder. "Where'd you get that bean?" I exclaimed. She replied, "I really wanted one of those cookies I got last time. You know, the ones with the pierced noses and tattooed necks. I hate it when they serve me coffee.
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
So much excitement! My first ocean cruise! I flew to Miami and boarded the beautiful liner with all the other baggage, getting stowed in the hold. The weather was balmy and perfect. It seemed a good time to take a walk around the deck and breathe in a lot of fresh fish!
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
He will surely reward me with a big wad of toilet paper stuck in my butt, I look just like a bunny rabbit! Hop, hop, hop!" He giggled, as he flushed my goldfish down the toilet. One after another, down they went, and I was helpless to control it. The pressure was just too much.
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
Calmly, she answered, "I'm thinking if we ate nothing but lettuce and skim milk for a month we may look good for the St. Valentine's Day party.
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
It's Veggie Tales: Garden Guerillas. In the first episode, Ren and Stimpy challenged Mr. T to a knock-down, drag-out fight to the finish. There was utter pandemonium until Mr. T. 's deep voice resonated through the room, declaring, "
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
The slightest amount could alter the electrolyte balance of everyone on the base! To prevent absolutely any mistake, we chose to consult Mr. Fantastic, AKA Dr. Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four. He said to watch out for Doctor Doom! His latest information reported that there was a severe shortage of toilet paper.
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
Something was different this morning...was it...quieter somehow...yes, the hum of the air conditioner was gone! Surprised, I realized it must be in Texas, not Kansas after all.
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
I must make a list of people whom I want to give back to the community. My present to them will be 40 hours of community service. I'll be dragging my behind after I finish all this shopping. and buy a notepad for myself, so I can write down a list of people to whom we must send boxes of processed cheese and hard sausages.
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
She paused for a final jelly doughnut before entering the inner sanctum of the plush office where dozens of models were milling around, considering who would look best in which outfit.
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
Yuk! I would rather have a deadly attack robot! It would have to be at least 8 feet tall and 4 feet wide. And that is hard to find. To see a good selection I think I will have to go to the baths, and have a good soak.
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
No one would find it there. Nonchalantly, I disassembled the fallacious evolution display with a sledgehammer. Then I took it and gingerly brushed away the centuries of dust to discover that there in my own hand I held the actual genuine ignition key that went to the landscaper's riding lawnmower.
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
Tumbling down the chute came a big load of bricks! Yikes! Get out of the way! We scrambled in a hurry and landed on big pile of garden hoses! Struggling to stand up, and feeling very awkward, I went in the women's bathroom because the men's was out of order and I really, really needed to go to the bathroom again!
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
That will add good protein without making you feel overfull. Eat quickly, and that saltine cracker will be gone before you know it. Now you may eat one Goldfish cracker.
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
They loved it! Wet cement reached from their toes all the way up to their knees! Either we're forming a habitat for something other than humans, or someone's gonna have to mow!" We'd been so busy tearing down the neighbors' hedges so we have room to expand.
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
Countering the attack with another new move, the hovering spinning high kick, he propelled his opponent across the room flew a whirling bat ninja right at me. I was terrified! I screamed out for several long minutes, the elation of victory like electricity shooting through my body.
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
And don't come in here sniveling like the loser Democrat that you are. Step up to the table and tell me your party affiliation, if you don't mind." I answered, "As a matter of fact, I do have clean hands and a pure heart, and I have not lifted up my hand to vote for John Kerry.
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
Our day started out great. Before most of us even had a chance to warm up and get going, one of the scouts was back with fantastic news. The rain of the night before had stranded several earthworms on the sidewalk!
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
Everyone was impressed by all the water running into the gutter. It was like a river of foamy green beer. he explained jovially. We looked at him like we was nuts. We took it and squeezed it as hard as we could. Then we took both ends and twisted them into mangled balls of metal.
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
The broken nose was so out of joint that breathing was difficult. Something had to be done! The doctor quickly cleaned the nostrils and inserted a peanut-butter sandwich into the VCR.
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
It looks like plastic poop; you know that artificial dog poop that you fool people with?
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
The smell was horrific. Everyone made a dive for the only door. Unfortunately in their path was a deep hole from where the truck had landed.
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
The Plutonium Transporters of America! They were famous for gigantic fund-raising fairs. In order to have lots of crafts to sell, they spent all year collecting all sorts of proof that the teachers weren't doing ther job.
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
she said, " I did too pay for my last Ferris wheel ride. Look, I have the ticket stub right here, next to my prize-winning apple pie. Look at it! The judges thought it tasted like chemicals.
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
They asked. "NINJA!" He yelled "Stop the presses! Stop the presses!!" The editor asked, "What's the matter?" "Can't you see that the weatherman hasn't arrived yet?!!
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
For dessert you get fruit salad sweetened with maple syrup (honey exploits bees). We don't eat meats! Can't you get that straight?!!
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
I have no idea how to get to the Transportation Museum. I want to see the Pullman cars again and sit on the sofas made from styrofoam and gasoline.
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
Her ability to spin on her toes was phenomenal. We could only watch in amazement, envying her strength and grace. "How beautiful are the deep pools of blue that are your eyes. I lose myself into their depths; I am drowning in your face, that's where I'm putting this custard pie."
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
I looked up, and towering above me was the Minotaur King himself. I shook in my boots, I sweated pools of gravy. "Boy, this is sure going to blow my diet!" she said, " Get your armor on and sharpen your sword and let's go do some fighting, and then let's go do some laundry, because I'm sure you'll all agree we're starting to smell.
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
"What are you doing here?" I asked the white, gristly fellow. He said, "I don't have enough money. just wait while I go over to that ATM where I can get some fresh strawberries! My favorite food! and there they are! Waiting for us....all squeaky clean and shining with colorful beads!
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
Yes, that is a "must see". Also I want to swim in the Great Barrier Reef.
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
Here use this bar of soap and dry your hands with this yellow nametag, I would be blend in with the other visitors. I knew I had to be careful not to talk too much, or I would blow my cover. I really needed a better disguise.
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
Here, take this bag of grass seed and scatter it around the dining table, in between the ham, biscuits 'n' gravy, grits, and cornbread. And when you're done with that, go fetch us some more sweet tea.
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
That's when we heard it: birdlike calls, a sound like distant rumbling thunder, and the snapping, cracking sound of large trees falling.
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
This is the good stuff! Now take it and smoosh it together with your hands. It's okay. Getting dirty is half the fun. The smell of the fertile earth is like the perfume of the Garden of Eden.
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
Everybody out of the way! And every time I get to the bottom, I have this feeling of diarrhea running down my pants leg...
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
You need to figure out the answer yourself; so go to the library, and look for a book about Sun Tzu, author of The Art of War.
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
I kicked the dude in the nuts as hard as I could. "How dare you expose yourself like that in front of her!" I screamed. "Why, I oughta punch your red diaper doper baby lights out! You flamin' liberal French sissy.
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
He grumbled, " I'm really getting tired and hungry. I want a Brown Mule. Let's go find an ice cream freezer in this place, and look in it to see if we can find some quarters so we can play a few final video games before we have to go."
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
In fact, you will feel so good that you grab a fire extinguisher and put out the fire. The Galactic Fart: with this fart, it seems like farts are stinky all the time. I don't know why I have to smell them when I'm in the same room with one. Why do you fart, anyway?
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
He demonstrated, and Private Munchausen said "I like to suffer, and I'm going to make you suffer too. 500 pushups on the double!" Everyone moaned and exclaimed," I don't wanna got to Iraq! I'm scared!" the Sarge growled, "You're goin'!
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
Crate after crate of chicken nuggets! "This isn't right!" I exclaimed. "Pops doesn't sell chicken nuggets! Do we, guys?" He chuckled as he called over his shoulder to the crew.
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
What to do?!! Here, take this axe and knock a hole in the floor. Lying down, I could see into a dark basement room. Grates in the walls below admitted narrow beams of sunlight.
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
Almost as much as they like washing the dishes. And if you let him wash the dishes, he may notice the soap bubbles drifting in the air, and that will remind him of days long gone by when he used to sit under the willow tree lanquidly blowing bubbles and drinking his tall cold glass of lemonade, and he would daydream about floating on his back in the swimming pool, feeling the warm sunshine and cool water, relaxing while listening to the sonic booms from the numberless jets flying overhead.
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
"That was quite a steep waterslide! I don't think I want to go down that again! It scared me too much and when I got to the bottom, I hit a Honda Civic! But since I was in a Hummer, i just kind of rolled over him and kept on going."
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
"I wish we had a stereo. Then we could listen to tunes while waiting to be rescued." "Are you nuts?!"
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
And when we get there I will buy some sense, and gift-wrap it and give it to you! What were you thinking when you used your peanut butter sandwich as a bookmark?!! Now this book looks like a bunch of crap.
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
by Wagner, done entirely with a quartet of kazoos? screamed Bonnie, "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MEDITATE WHEN YOU KEEP TALKING TO ME???!! Would you please go twiddle your thumbs while I take care of MY important business! You are so getting on my nerves!
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
I don't know why, exactly. Probably having to do with the crispiness. There's just something not quite right about these buns. Too many sesame seeds I think. Hey they look more like poppy seeds! Now we're in trouble. The Sheriff will think we have turned into an opium den.
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
When they are all finished, you place them carefully on a doily and garnish them with breath-freshening parsley. Parsley isn't given nearly enough press for its natural, chemical-free breath-freshening qualities.
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
Real ultimate power is attained by unrelenting karate chops to the back of the neck and across the river, with a single leap of his well-muscled legs. He found himself in the middle of a big pile of threadbare blue mats.
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
Unless they're going down. In which case, he proceeded to sweep up all the ticker tape from the Exchange floor.
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
exclaimed Sam with barely contained glee. Unfortunately, he was wearing his kyptonite underwear that day, and they all parachuted out into a black hole of oblivion. In fact... exclaimed Sam with barely contained glee. Unfortunately, he was wearing his kyptonite underwear that day, and they all parachuted out into a black hole of oblivion.
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
No more slogging away in the hot wheat fields for me! Now I must needs go don my chain mail so patiently chained for me by Lady Man. Lady Man was known through the olde towne as a ravishing womanizer, and had gotten in trouble with one too many gladiators who had come from Rome to the countryside of England to train.
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
This time the judge actually intervened, calling for a brief break, giving him time to steer the ship through the minefield.
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
The similarity was remarkable! The eyes, the nose, even the way he parted his hair. He waved at him, and yelled, "Where did you graduate from? Podunk U.?!! Your degree must have been written with invisible ink!" He started to sit down, but then yelled again, "
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
So when she walked into the coffee shop, she immediately put down her heavy backpack. Rubbing her sore shoulder, she asked the nearest patron "What does a girl have to do to get some service around here?!" Her manner frightened the man somewhat, so he stammered Woo Baby, I just wet my pants!
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
In fact, he still had enough time to play another game of Warlords Battlecry. Being only 10 battles away from finishing another campaign, he was anxious to see which orb he would get next. So immediately he began to jump up and down and sing "Yankee Doodle." Everyone was so inspired by his shameless act of pariotism, they stood up and applauded with great gusto, knowing full well that as soon as they sat back down, they would know that this was the end of the world as they knew it.