Betty's Turn-Down Game

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Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
That must explain why we always want to have a picnic with friends and family. And when I finally checked the calendar, I realized our next house is going to need multiple fireplaces, because that last winter was a doozy! Where did we land?
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
Yar! Just 2 more weeks and we will have an extra hour of daylight! I welcome that as much as I welcome having more hours of daylight to work outside in the yard, there's also something to be said for the comfort of a sherpa blanket.
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
"Get out of the way of that rapidly moving ice stor' Have you no sense??" We then proceeded to wend our way through Wendy's, admiring everyone's entree as we approached the front counter. We stared transfixed at the huge, lit-up menu, offering a panoply of mouth-watering pies, sweet and savory.
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
It sounds like burping...could it be from that big Christmas dinner?? I am still investigating that turn of events. The most suspicious aspect of the whole thing was how many armed guards we saw.
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
That's why Master Windu got disarmed. Dang Sith. Dang them straight to heck. But anyway, that's okay because we'll fry it later. So, as for sides, we wanted Greg's famous Sweet Potato Casserole, Bonnie's famous Homemade Stuffing, and most of all, Xander's famous bread! and gobs of dripping fat.
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
And he doesn't know a thing about software unless it is his mitered hat, but that is kinda stiff. And shelves? He never puts anything away.
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
I looked at the waiter and exclaimed, " What is wrong with you people?!" Two days is too long to spend driving. It wears you out and subtracts the pleasure from a trip. What you should do along the way is schedule a good amount of trolling. 3am is OK, but most people are asleep.
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
The fear in our hearts diminished somewhat as each of the treacherous Kiwis was pushed into the holding zone.
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
Sometimes I had to open a can of sardines! I pulled back the lid and the smell was questionable, like peanut butter mixed with half and half and a dollop of warm heavy cream.
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows. And you know who else knows? Why of course: Thunderstorms' trainer, big brother, and Union Jack-adorned fellow wrestler, London Bridge. Bridge was the broadest of wrestlers in the league, and about twice as wide as a mere mortal.
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
Everyone was full of good food. And everyone vowed, "I won't stop until I get my revenge on you!" It was then I finally realized as I reflected on everything that had happened, that this had truly been the best Christmas ever!
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
It's got vitamins, minerals, and amino acids. Everything your body needs. But it looks and tastes like snot so wash it down with very dry sticks and pine straw.
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
Let's call up a Harvard professor and ask him if he knows why the room is glowing orange. He'll probably say, "You dunderhead!
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
From that point on, I knew I had to block the back door fast because water was truly running down the hill and quickly coming into the living room where we were playing a board game. He flipped the couch over violently, and once he had our attention, screamed, "
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
They just waltz in and crap on the floor. I've tried to explain to them that this is my floor and I'd really appreciate if they stopped crapping on it, but it's like talking to a more experienced person. I thought it was pretty good advice to weigh the option of working in an air-conditioned environment, considering how hot the dishwashing water had to be; what would that be doing to the rats in the sewers?
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
In planning for the Kidz Festival, it looks like we overestimated the resilience of grass. Sure, it can be tough, but once the chainsaw got involved, there was great danger!
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
He also knows where all the best cookie crumbs are! the whole family had to move. So be very, very careful never to leave a trail of crumbs to your bedside! Nor should you neglect to shine a flashlight into all the dark corners. A clean, clear smell of fresh mouse urine....ahhhh!
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
We might even see a protest by a bunch of liberal snowflakes demanding safe spaces to protect themselves from being offended. Sure enough, I found one.
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
We scooped them up during our daily desert hike. The sneaky bastards tried to sting us but we were too smart for them.Once we had about 50 of them, we were ready to proceed. With great flourish, we took the bowls and put them under the dogs' noses and they went to town! In one minute flat, everything was gone and we could not find even a whiff of cilantro in the whole place!
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
It reminds of all the times that I ever wanted more in my whole life.
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
Saturday Night Fever"--it makes you want to dance, but you wouldn't admit to your high-society friends that you like it. Something that tastes this good should be offered in the Trump Tower restaurant!! I am sure Donald Trump himself would order at least five! Then arrange them attractively around the orange pools of grease that the pepperoni left behind.
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
You don't want to get stuck with too much time on our hands, we decided just to go shopping. First we went to Cosco and loaded up on lots of wood glue, posterboard, hammers, and nuclear material. That's everything we need for assembling a Gatling gun! And just in time, too.
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
Well, obviously Buzz, Moocher, Ace, The Kid, and Big Toot will be there. Other than that, who would be there? Maybe some hopeful whiners and a few frowning judges. It's always a boost to the self-confidence when the person in charge starts ranting and raving, maybe someone needs to pour on his head a bucket of vomit!
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
They're delighted with the constant flow of free T-shirts, hors d'oeuvres, gift bags, and lanyards with name tags that say, " Welcome to Engineering Country!Now proceed into the Student Center where you will be issued a tote bag full of water guns.
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
I blurbled. He looked at me like I was an idiot. he said as we sped toward the marina. When we got there, a huge fog bank rolled in, and it looked really scary, so we waited until the sun went down.
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
For instance you would never use DDT in combination with crystals of methamphetamine! I didn't want to break the bad news, but police could show up at any minute!
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
Would that really matter?? Yeah, probably would matter as much as Hillary Clinton is able to tell the truth. The last time that happened, everything ended up pink. So, now we pre-treat the stains with a solution of water and detergent. Sorting laundry correctly is very important. If you mix darks with whites, the whites will turn pink if you wash the reds with them!
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
Now what do we do?!?!?!? Well, we decided to find the long underwear which would help me build a pink fence around my two cows so they don't wander away from my base!
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
I tried to buy a burrito at Taco Bell with one of them, but the guy said, " GET back in that X-ray machine! You look like you are carrying a Beretta PX4 Storm Compact 9mm! With its comfortable grip and good balance and accuracy, this pistol would be a good choice for wearing on the plane.
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
In fact, I had to turn on the fan because the dog's gas emissions were overwhelming. That was effective, and I was able to get on with my work selling potholders door to door.
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
Soon, you will feel focused and relaxed and ready to go out the front door to my new life! So I put on my hat, opened the door, walked out on to the front porch, and stepped into a new suit!
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
Or you can say, " Pay for it with my Discover Dollars!! Woo hoo!!" It's like free money!!
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
Last time, I situated my composter on a hill. I bet you can figure how that turned out. That's right. It turned over layer by layer as I rotated the barrel. I expected a bad odor, but all I smelled was the thick, sticky smoke from Stevens' smouldering burn pile.
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
Stunned, the grocer just stood there holding the orange he had been peeling, he squeezed it a little too hard and a spurt flew directly into his display of twenty-five varieties of Deli Bologna! The only way this can be rectified is to put all the meats through the sausage grinder again and then display them in the windows, for all to admire.
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
Once I was satisfactorily secured, I was ready to gather the black walnuts, so I looked in the garage for a big surprise!
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
Against my better judgement, I thought I would peer down into the hole I found in the back yard, and suddenly up popped a sloth! Slinging a sledgehammer, he slipped slightly and slammed into the slick slab. He slowly inched through the pasture field dodging cow pies and carefully watching out for the hot-tempered bull, which was hiding behind a clump of weeds.
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
I took them and soaked them overnight. Then I carefully placed them side by side in a plastic tray.
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
I thought I could see through it. Was it a ghost? Uncertain, I reached out my hand and gingerly nudged the doughnut. It seemed to be moving by itself! Then through a little crack in the sugary glaze I saw several disgusting guests on late-night talk shows. They were rude, slovenly, and told rambling, barely-coherent stories about parasites.
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
Now we only have to wait to get the bill. I am on pins and needles. I am sitting on the front porch now watching for the app to close without losing my patience with it. Instead I decided to add a new game app. The name of it was Clash of the Terrible Twos.
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
Odie was just staring at him and then he decided to wash & polish his motorcycle and get it all ready to take to Texas ! It was going to be a whirlwind adventure, scenic, and of course buying lots of tickets: to the movies, to the amusement park, and to go to the back of the bus where you can be alone so you can read your fortune cookie!
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
Ethan will be glad to help you if you find your wallet is straining to hold all that money. First, we'll go out to lunch. Then we'll get a new phone. Then we'll get a PS4. and sure enough, an F5 tornado appeared out of nowhere and destroyed the whole town and everyone in it, including us.
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
It made them so mad they bit me on the back through my shirt! I swatted them with my trowel in one hand and a watering can in the other, nothing can stop me! Afterwards, I took some oil and rubbed it on my arms to keep away the mosquitoes. It made them so mad they bit me on the back through my shirt!
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
I had to have plenty of room to make the icing made with butter and powdered sugar. Into that, sprinkle some delicately iced with pastel swirls of curled ribbon. The most delicious part is the unique combination of chocolate chips, coconut, chopped pecans, and held together by welded high-gauge wire.
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
It could also be caused by heavy and drenching downpours of rain which then froze over the entire Rock when the temperature suddenly dropped. The clear sky released the oppressive heat, and stars started to blink on. I knew they only SEEMED closer...or were they really?
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
I just had to spit it out onto the lawn. There, in the sun, I could see a big hydrogen firestorm. Scary! Good thing I was not looking directly at it, and a good thing I was wearing my asbestos underwear! It was so hot!
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
First, you have to be sure the correct worksheets are in each cubby hole with the kid's name labeled above. I reached into the back of one of the cubby holes and found a mistake!" Well, she knew she never wanted the children to go hungry, so if anyone forgot his or her snack, I would gladly give him or her part of my granola bar.
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
"Hahaha! I got yer new year's resolution right here!!" I cackled as I popped the champagne bottle to test it. The cork went flying through the air and landed in the punch bowl! "Quick!
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
W.C. Fields said that!" I exclaimed. "OK, now it's your best hope for improving your life. So what do you want? Do you want to take a trip to some exotic tropical island.
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
"Patina is the next clue," I pondered out loud, "9 letters, starts with a V."
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
It's okay to rent those because they disinfect them with a substance called Liquid Nails which I bought online from a company named Tethys, after the Titaness of fresh water." Hopefully we would get some fresh water out of this.
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
Full of possibilities for winning the county's "Best Decorated Yard". We had to get to work! I asked Bonnie to go buy lots of candles. Nothing brightens up a wintertime room like candlelight! For a festive holiday fragrance, try cinnamon or balsam, but my favorite choice would definitely be soft amber lighting accented with rhinestones and gold leaf.
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
Indeed, upon further observation, my screen was all smeared so I read up on the internet how to clean it, and it said to spray it with glow-in-the-dark paint.
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
I'm talking about the ICE, of course, and they don't have space suits safe enough to last over 6 months on Mars.
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
Not only would we sell lemonade, but we could also sell bags of ice. You know people really need those for seeing underwater. And if they get fogged up, you can clean them with spit. And you thought it was only good for dissolving corn starch packing peanuts.
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
What a bad game ending!!! But what an awesome game. What the hell?!?!?! What a bad game ending!!! But what an awesome game. And with that, the screen went blank!! What the hell?!?!?! What a bad game ending!!!
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
I just saw the BEST movie of all time! Only, I don't think anyone else understood why I went to the movies even though I was blind!
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
I slowed my walking and waited to see whether it would fall from its own weight.
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
Do you want more freedom? Want a return to the moral, family values that made this country great? Then you need to put your feet up sometimes. One must get rid of them by voting for the Republican candidate!
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
you can afford it! Maybe the best thing to do is to load Minecraft and build a house out of solid gold blocks. you can afford it!
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
To test it, we inserted a non-compete clause into the document. It now read, "I (fill in your name) will not directly or indirectly engage in any business that competes with the cupboard of Old Mother Hubbard."
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
The rest would be left to drown in the swarm of cats. They would cover the Earth with moss. Happiness is cozy, soft, and green. How could anyone argue against me? Do they want to get punched?
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
Time seemed to slow down and I could count each rod in the grill that would soon become one with my face. I could count the individual strands of Rayon that composed pink fuzzy dice dangling from his rearview mirror.
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
I know when I hear that sound, it means someone's at the door. And just my luck, I'm right in the middle of a shower! But what if it's important? What if we ran out of food?!! Would any stores be open? I opened the phone book to look for Christmas presents.
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
And occasionally a strawberry Yoo-hoo. Or sarsaparilla. Grenadine! Straight from the can!
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
Believe it or not down the road came a knick-knack, paddywack, give a dog a wrapped-up box of chew bones and when he tears the wrapper off he will bite into a raw onion!
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
How can you expect to be able to deal with the revenooers properly if all your ordnance is in such slaphappy disorder? Put them back into the empty egg cartons where they will be safe. Then put the egg cartons on top of the crates of rockets that we got from GI Joe's military surplus.
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
You see them on TV coming out in the dark of night searching for brains to eat. When you see them coming you must floor it! "Eat my dust, turkeys!" I yelled out the window as the car shot out of the stocking which was hanging on the mantle.
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
It is also important where you place them: only put them back in the grave where they belong. But you have to hit them pretty hard to stop them, because they ate too many brains (!) which caused them to jump up and down and sing Yankee Doodle.
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
Clearly she wasn't sure what to throw away and what to keep. For sure she wanted to get rid of the banana peels and apple cores strewn across the kitchen floor and all over Ethan's dresser.
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
They specialize in sneaky stuff like letting the air out of the sweatband of the hat where I found a secret note!
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
I hadn't seem them in a long time. It was really great to see how much taller they had become. Why their two heads reached all the way to the moon and back.
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
I told him, " Listen you! Pay me or else! I need to make my mortgage payment on my house on Wall Street!"
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we do some serious bashing! After dinner, he got to his feet and threw a zombie up in the air with his Jawbreaker, while at the same time he grabbed a troll by the ankle, spun him around and launched him into orbit with one flick of his manly wrist.
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
I could hardly wait to get home to play it! I got home, opened the box, and inside I saw a giant strawberry! I could use it to make dessert with.
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
I then tried to decide what fertilizer to use. I had to choose between organic compost or that big bag of hot air, Joe Blow or Joe Schmoe or whatever his name is.
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
No geek worth his salt would be caught dead without that telltale orange tint on his fingertips. mixed with cables, network cards, and little plastic bags of ICs of every conceivable kind. It was the worst jumble of all, so I hid under the table and waited patiently. Soon, too soon, I heard steps creeping up the stairs, and into my new tech room burst Martha Stewart!
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
I really needed a new line of work. There just isn't as much money in moving moonshine across state lines like there used to be. So I decided to turn in my driver's license and buy a bicycle.
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
The note also said "What have you eaten lately? and these 2 lungs are the only ones you'll ever have, so you need to take care of them!
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
Did you know that poor-quality windows could cost you a bundle in heating bills? That's why I always read the Dilbert cartoon as soon as I get to work. That turns out to be the best part of the day for me because he makes me feel like I'm in control of my financial destiny.
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
Yum! It was crunchy and really really tasty! I gathered up a few and put them in my pocket so I could give them to the police officer when he hauled me in for questioning before being charged with trespassing.
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
This will surely impress them! They'll be so impressed they will spew! Just kidding, of course, but who knows, you may end up in Swaziland, in a dark jungle, surrounded by insipid but angry Frenchmen frothing epithets at us proudly patriotic Americans. Shocked, he picked his beret out of the muddy gutter, shook it off and put it on his resume.
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
He kept plugging in lights but instead of coming on, they would just explode like a long string a chinese firecrackers. Dodging tiny glass shrapnel, I jumped through hoops trying to get the lights to the top of the tree, but only succeeded in getting them around the rosey, a pocket full of posies, ashes, ashes, we all sang "Ring Around the Rosie"!
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
Is that like an appraizor? Come appraize my house, and bring your 5 clipboards! "Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!" I laugh with raucous glee. You will be sorry; you will be very sorry when I stumbled upon a fully-loaded phaser rifle.
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
The maestro was heading down the center aisle was Hulk Hogan! he howled, and the audience began to shuffle their feet with boredom.
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
Quickly I reached over and jerked the ripcord, and my parachute cmae hurtling out just in time! I landed hard on the bridge, got up and sat right back down because a big wad of bubble gum was stuck to the helmet of the commie soldier.
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
A tear ran down my cheek as a sudden blast of frigid, snowy air reddened my nose, numbed my cheeks, caught my breath and blew all my packages into a snowdrift.
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
Yo man, why you do me like dat? I'm the shizzle for my nizzle. And you know you're not allowed to eat mistakes! Put that in the waste bucket!" Reluctantly, I placed the tomato heels and limp lettuce on each one of the cash registers.
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
That was more than enough to make some pumplin pie. We made enough for 50 people! So we invited the whole neighborhood, and when they all showed up we gave them a couple bucks and told them to go fetch us a newspaper.
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
I landed in a mud puddle. It brought back memories of days gone by, back when men were men and women were not to be trusted with power tools. That's man's work! And furthermore, you should sit down right now and watch all six Star Wars movies back to back.
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
Would it help if I released the emergency brake? She smiled sweetly and pushed the button that sent them all hurtling into a black hole.
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
"Hey! she whispered quickly. he exclaimed. "You can't be serious! You never learned to touch-type?!! You must have gone to school in West Virginia!
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
Make sure all your teenagers have a good supply, and are wearing this new hairnet. We all know that sanitation is very low priority around here, which is why your show is on suspension!"
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
We went to Outdoor World and found 2 very dirty diapers behind the bookcase.
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
Splash! The water flew out and drenched the apple pie in whipped cream, which I then cheerfully took to the neighbor's house. When they saw it, they finally understood. They were running dune buggies up there! With that, she jumped off the roof and landed in the kiddie pool.
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
Because I say, if you're not going to spend enough money on a motel room, you will end up staying in a dump, probably infested with carpetbaggers. That's why we always try to stay in a motel with a good lock on the bathroom door! All the monounsaturated oil made it count! Because I say, if you're not going to spend enough money on a motel room, you will end up staying in a dump, probably infested with carpetbaggers.
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
Couldn't we get another sponsor, one who won't make us wear these stupid ballcaps? As if an answer to prayer, up walked none other than George W. Bush! red, white, and blue streaks were all we could see of the cars! They were going so fast, the asphalt was melting.
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
We can wear nose plugs and burn the leftover sludge, even though everyone knows a better use for it would be to put it into a bucket beside the commode.
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
So instead, try to re-interpret your hunger as a desire to do another favorite activity besides eat, such as eggplant, okra, mushrooms, and rhubarb: all on Greg's list of guys lookin' in yer window!
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
It really worked, because when we woke up and looked out the window, we saw at least 100 people waiting for us to start setting up! When I opened the can of worms it really did turn out to be a can of rattlesnake eggs.
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
Moo-ha ha! One more flyover and I will punch in the control panel, because obviously it's not doing any good! I expect a response from the navigator because I really think we are lost! I don't recognize anything down below.
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
"I'm only doing that today," he answered, "tomorrow I'm going to upgrade my PDA to have 256 MB of RAM! she said, "I just can't relax unless I know that you have other clothes to wear besides one bearing logos and movie quips from Star Wars, Star Trek, Tron and Hackers, I'll never go out with you!"
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
I exclaimed. "Why would I need to order x-rays? Clearly the problem is an occluded colon. This sort of thing happens if you don't eat enough fiber, and then load up on cheese pizza. My recommendation is have a cup of hot tea and a small plate of three soft chewy dog treats, the kind with little meaty bit in the middle."
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
Because seconds later, all the cats were fast asleep! "That's an unexpected surprise!" "What?!" "Well, you didn't expect him to throw up on it, did you? Tee hee!" Steamed, I went to the kitchen and got a knife. It was the best thing I could think of to prevent the neighbor's cats from invading and taking over the condo.
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
That's OK, because we bought extra rolls just in case. Try to line up the red hexagons so they match. This has to be done very carefully! If you don't do it correctly, you will have me to deal with!"
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
All their cute little night lights will always be upside down--cackle cackle. THAT will teach them to use acetone to clean the hardwood floors. Now take this toothbrush and clean the encrusted roach poop from around the doorways. What a job! I would rather have a masonry bit shoved up my butt than have to use these crappy tools again!
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
Her favorite thing to talk about is how she's going to marry that new recruit that she met from talking to on the phone, if they survive the latest mission, that is."
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
Somebody slow them down! Even if you have to jump up and down and sing Yankee Doodle. And that's exactly what I did, much to the surprise and shock of the pilot, the rudders were stuck, and the plane was started to pitch sideways! There was only one thing to do: activate the afterburners!
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
Or else you will regret it!" So I said, "Honey, I'm not in it for the lettuce! I'm in it for the quality time and cultural enlightenment. After all, who would know that the slacker pizza cook would just put a smattering of cheese on my pizza!
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
Look what just landed on the counter! It's a big glop of pork brains! Mix it in with the scrambled eggs and you will have a breakfast served to you in several courses, as I finish each section of the show. I have staff who will divide the German blood sausage into enough pieces so that everyone can have at least a Eastern European immigrant would have more good taste than the fresh-faced yahoos we've been putting on this show.
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
How cool is that?" I'll tell ya; it's VERY COOL. Because people will notice and say "He's all about style! How cool is that?" I'll tell ya; it's VERY COOL. Just say "Aayyy!", be cool, and don't forget to wear your sunglasses, your sunscreen, and most of all don't forget your comb, even if you don't need it because your hair's so cool already.
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
It's amazing that so many people are delighted to spend so much money for something so simple! What gives? Obviously some of the rest of us are entitled to a piece of the action.
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
It seemed a good time to take a walk around the deck and breathe in a lot of fresh fish!
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
Captain Underpants was an unlikely here. He had super strength, could fly, was invulnerable, yet was about as smart as a brick. His nemesis, Professor Poopypants, won a blue ribbon at the county fair for producing the longest poop--a record hard to beat.
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
Look at all those spots closer to the door!" He was irritated. Calmly, she answered, "I'm thinking if we ate nothing but lettuce and skim milk for a month we may look good for the St.
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
See, in the future, so many people had been using disposable cellphones that the landfills were overflowing with them and people were dying in disposable cellphone avalanches. So the main characters set out to accomplish this mission: a difficult job which would take at least several days and certainly be a bonding experience, an adventure.
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
Remember how heavy those wallets and purses used to get? Sometimes they seemed to weigh as much as bowling balls! Even though he was a very strong man, he wasn't strong enough to defeat Herr Kapitan in hand-to-hand combat.
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
We gasped; no one had ever managed to eat much at any of my Christmas parties; they mostly just wanted iced tea. It was just too hot. So I always made sure to provide plenty of suntan lotion when we go to the beach every Saturday. We get there by 9am, but have to leave before the sun starts to shine again.
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
I need to, umm, get some stuff." An hour later my receipt showed up in my e-mail. And with that, I got out a notepad and pencil, and started planning for NEXT Christmas!
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
that's right... Perfect! She's a door. The next girl can pose on this poof chair. It is shaped like a high-heeled shoe.
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
You wouldn't want to come back to a place with such rotten food. Chicken and prunes! Yuk! I would rather have a deadly attack robot! It would have to be at least 8 feet tall and 4 feet wide. And that is hard to find. To see a good selection I think I will have to go to the baths, and have a good soak.
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
one student asked. "I don't know, let's taste one and see. Yummy! They are still good after all these years! Give one to the director. Here, put this one in his pocket!" I considered that, but decided it would be better to just hand it to him and let him put it in his pipe and smoke it.
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
In which case, you should start over. As much of a headache that is, it'll be even worse if you led mold take control.
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
To add to the great nutritional value of the yogurt, you can add chopped tuna. That will add good protein without making you feel overfull. Eat quickly, and that saltine cracker will be gone before you know it.
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
Complete with tire swing, roller-skating area, dress-up box, and kitchenette! All the neighbors' kids were stomping in the mud, making a big mess: so I put them to work mixing up the cement instead.
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
Ah, the power coming out of my legs, my arms, my fingertips. If you could see my aura, it'd be white with fire and black with death. Death was the order of the day (I suppose you could call a hamburger and french fries that!) Anyway who cares? Ultimate Ninja II would want everyone to remain respectfully quiet.
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
Step up to the table and tell me your party affiliation, if you don't mind." I answered, "As a matter of fact, I do have clean hands and a pure heart, and I have not lifted up my hand to vote for John Kerry. Can you do better than that?"
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
Feathers were flying everywhere. Tiny blood spatters covered his face with his hands, as he heard the prison warden approaching. A heartless, cruel man, the warden was well-known for his ferocity in battle.
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
We brought out the banners of elephants and donkeys. We even brougnt out the banners of eye-catching, colorful cloth were tied up in various locations around the perimeter of the parking lot for the purpose of raising money for the annual sack race. We would need a lot of sacks this year and big ones-- big enough to hold all the money people were giving us.
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
It was hopeless. I kicked it over the edge of the stage. Everyone seemed to be clapping too hard or too soft. It was hopeless. I kicked it over the edge of the stage. I didn't know how to adjust the applause meter. Everyone seemed to be clapping too hard or too soft. It was hopeless.
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
"We're going to need some industrial-strength cleaner! Russell used some when he worked at Busch; let's call him." So we called Russell to check out the buckets of unknown substance in the far corner.
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
Russell screeched, and yelled, " IT MUST BE SOMEWHERE, BUT WHERE?!"
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
One spoke up: "I can tell ya where to get some hooch; the best is at Sonic Burger! I'm telling you, you've got to try this onion dip. It's awesome!" He grabbed the Tostitos and started handing out applications for new vinyl siding and storm windows. What's going on? Is this some kind of sales pitch?!!
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
How it gleamed in the mid-afternoon light. Mesmerized, I reached out to touch it. "NINJA!" Startled, I turned around to see a Ferris wheel toppling over, about to smash dozens of people into tiny bits! I screamed for help!
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
I exclaimed, "or are you not going to ask me to marry you?!" "Are you ," I exclaimed, "or are you not going to ask me to marry you?!" He said that so loudly, I jumped. "Are you ," I exclaimed, "or are you not going to ask me to marry you?!" "It's the best way to sneak up on someone, and then, the instant you know they see you, you shout, 'NINJA!'"
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
So flush it out with some oat bran! Unless you want to die early!
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
The only thing this dish is missing is my face. Allow me to remedy this gross inconsistency at once.
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
We lowered the volume just in time before the other dancer jumps over you. The idea is to create the picture of water with the water birds in it. So the next move is a demi plie; just swirl around and fluidly reach for your toes and come back up to face the audience. Then, the dancers to the sides move toward the center, and the dancers in the center move you must do a somersault, ending in a backflip, and still have enough energy left to do four running leaps diagonally across the dance floor.
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
So many dangers beset us, we scarcely conceived of ever making it through the maze alive. Giant scorpions, venomous snakes and worse hounded our every step. We turned a corner and tripped over a string somebody had stretched along near the floor!
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
He said, "I don't have enough money. just wait while I go over to that ATM where I can get some fresh strawberries! My favorite food! and there they are! Waiting for us....all squeaky clean and shining with colorful beads! It was just what I was looking for!
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
Then we'll go to the Amazon River and see how much Avon we can sell to the natives. I hear they pay for their orders with bags of gold dust! Who knows? We might even end up with hemmorhoids so bad we won't even be able to sit down. declared Paspartout with a rakish grin.
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
But first give me that first phone call, because I am going to call my partner. I have a joke to tell him. Did you hear the one about the two atoms walking along?
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
And I think I will also add some corn to the pig's food.
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
Would they be as old as me?" She shook her head, and replied "I imagine these dinosaurs are at least 100 years old. You can tell because the skin is so scaly and rough.
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
It looks like a cross between a marigold and a dandelion. If you see one of these, pull it up!
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
I got the hose inserted into the tire and put in 25 pounds of gas! Then he got on the motorcycle, but it wouldn't roll. He realized he needed to oil his wheels. So he oiled his wheels adjusted his helmut and took off down the highway, 0 to 60 in 4 seconds!
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
We can just hold our breath. they jumped into the car and drove to the museum. They were so excited to see a dinosaur in the museum!
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
Tears filled her eyes and she turned and began to run away. She wanted to, but couldn't. Tears filled her eyes and she turned and began to run away. Go ahead!" She wanted to, but couldn't. Tears filled her eyes and she turned and began to run away.
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
He's all about quality, donchew know." We had to agree it was a good idea. But what to do next? And where to go next?
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
If that happens, the only thing you can do is blow it out with all your might. Then you will feel 100 % better. In fact, you will feel so good that you grab a fire extinguisher and put out the fire. The Galactic Fart: with this fart, it seems like farts are stinky all the time.
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
"And I just might get it, too, it's just what I need in my tent when we go camping out in the woods. In the middle of the night, I can get it out and use it to help me steal hot dogs from the mess hall.
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
We were all so scared we could do nothing but stand in shocked silence, hoping he would calm down. Suddenly, he whacked the other guy on the back of the head with the spatula! We screamed as his eyeball popped out! Everyone was completely amazed when it cheerfully called out, "I'M FREE!"
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
FIRE! Get out of the building! There's no time to lose! You must hurry because there's a bomb threat! Terrorists are threatening to destroy the entire campus!!" I couldn't believe it.
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
Martin! Do you have any CHEESE?!! We want CHEESE!! We ain't had nothin' to eat for three stinkin' days but this moldy bread. Yeah, and we need some meats! And to go with that some milk!" And if you give him some milk, he will lap it up very delicately all the while holding his little pinky high in the air.
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
Mystified, they cautiously approached the abandoned roller coaster. "Hey, let's get one of the cars, push it to the top and jump in and see how far we can go!" So they laboriously pushed and pushed, and when they got to the top they saw what was causing the tornado: the villanous Sky Master!!
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
It was an amazing engineering feat to build such a tunnel under such a large amount of debt that no one could afford to rent the equipment to dig them out.
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
But the weather report was not so good, so when they looked up into the sky they saw not only the police helicopters arriving in the distance as reinforcements, but also the vultures had already started circling.
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
Why--" And just then the drugs kicked in and then the convulsions started. "Oh, no!" My friends said, "Quickly, turn off the electricity before she's fried!"
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
Chopping lettuce. I don't know why, exactly. Probably having to do with the crispiness. There's just something not quite right about these buns. Too many sesame seeds I think. Hey they look more like poppy seeds!
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
Just be sure to brush your teeth after, though, the dark green bits between her teeth showed up in the camera shot. Oh no! And this was the photo they were going to publish in the newspaper next to her recipe for Banana Upside-Down Chocolate Chip Brownies with walnuts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
It left them with a taste they shall never forget. Such is the power of the ULTIMATE NINJA. And again what is that POWER? It is the power of the universe!
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
And the name of it was "Ackerson Savings & Loans & Stuff". It had been in business for 20 years, but it had to be demolished to make way for a Stop-n-Go.
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
Now what?!! "I guess we will have to get out those old-fashioned space suits. What bummer!" So they hurried to put on their Superman underwear, because it was as inspiring as nothing else is.
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
Their living quarters were made out of popscicle sticks, painstakingly glued together, then painted with multicolor butterflies swarmed through his brain.
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
We are going to get this matter settled once and for all, said the judge as he beckoned Lord Elsington to even higher status within the SSBC: Secret Society of British Cats.
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
and pounded his shoe on the table for effect. Unfortunately, the force of it caused an explosion of monumental proportions! Everyone stood in fearful amazement wondering if they would be doomed to live the rest of their lives up in branches of this oak tree.
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
What a challenge! There just had to be a way to satisfy all the parties involved. Maybe if he bought more turkey pepperoni everyone would be happier.
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
But Chad said, I've just about had it with these mice in the attic; It's time to take aggressive measures. Therefore I will dump this load of manure just where it will do the most good. And the best place for that will be in the kitchen, where the food is.