Betty's Turn-Down Game

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Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
PASSWORD=geroniusAh, the yellow daffodils, the purple lilac, the white dogwoods, the magenta azaleas...all lift up your heart and make you feel alive! Take a deep breath-- and pray that your antihistamine is working, because I think you just inhaled more pollen than air!
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
The bottle spiraled through the air, reflecting their horrified faces as it sailed by. No one was able to react in time, and it landed, with a hollow skitter-clatter, on the tile floor, impossibly unbroken. There was a collective exhale and then an immediate inhale, because the last thing we wanted was a fainting crowd!
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
Here comes Santa Claus!!" Much to my surprise, he was driving a golf cart outfitted with giant boom boxes.
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
When they answered the phone, they said "We don't want any." Then they slammed down the phone, jumped up and down, and stomped into the mud room. Most people's mud rooms have a bench where you can sit down and take off your muddy boots before you go into the house.
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
Let's quit beating around the bush here, we're all hungry. I don't care how many steps on the recipe are left, I'm wasting away here. Now please, would you pass the TV remote control?
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
The band would not wait! They moved on with their cheerfully rapid tempo, but mortifyingly, came withering to a halt, when he failed to play the next measure. The maestro glared and sighed. Everyone was staring because they had never seen anyone throwing beans in the river before.
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
And one time this guy said to me, " Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?" I was so frustrated because it seemed like I had been so close to finishing!
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
A little dude with wings showed up with a handful of sparkly crap. Anyway, it backfired horribly: we were just covered in kiwi fruit puree and crushed red cherries and pineapple.
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
Sending IT back. This was the most disappointing robotic vacuum I had ever used. 1 star! It got caught on everything! it even got stuck on logistics. Luckily, we had somebody here who knows how to ask all the right questions so we can work out a feasible plan.
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
Maybe the best remedy would be to accept that you can't do laundry if the power is out.
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
With each note I could include a handmade gift tag to indicate who it's from-and-to, but instead I'd really rather use this stick of dynamite! I found in on sale at the Farmer's Daughter market where you can find fresh eggs, potatoes, homemade soap, and bunches of bananas!
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
He was also very mannerly. I could take lessons from him, because I want to change the name of this story to "Who's Sorry Now?!"When Xander heard that, he balled up his fist and smashed the walnut as hard as he could. he cried as his bounced off, to no effect. she said.
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
Night was falling, so in the morning they would check the weather report and then decide how to split up the gold. It was probably fair to divide it evenly amongst the group, but Greg is definitely the strongest and would probably contribute more to global warming or maybe even global cooling.
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
Locked and loaded, I peeked out the cat door to see what all the commotion was about.... Sure enough, there was a bunch of money in there! It's a good thing I went through it or I would have missed finding all those old plastic machine guns.
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
Anyway I also thought Bill Miller's Barbecue might be a good place to work. Certainly the smells there would be delightful!
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
Sure enough, out the viewport, I saw a giant squid! so there was only one solution for that = a heaping helping of whoopass.
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
I really need a new pet. Hmmm... I think I will pick out a sweet little Donald Trump, the 45th president of the United States, wanted to meet Milo.
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
Sure enough, I found one. I walked up to them and said, "You're so nerdy and yet so down-to-earth at the same time.
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
When Mom announced she was going to go on a vacation in San Antonio, I was delighted. I knew it was just the thing for her to clean out the garage! An arduous task, but wonderful temperature outside which caused her to go into convulsions. A woman nearby noticed immediately, and exclaimed, "I'm an EMT!
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
These featured steel posts that would dig into the ice so you can melt the snow so you can flush your toilet!
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
Other good ideas include Burger King, Wendy's, and Hardee's, if you get tired of having pizza all the time. Not me! I always like to sit down in a peaceful place to eat my pizza. But it is okay to have some background music like the theme music from the movie, "
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
They all leaned way back in their easy chairs and took a nap!
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
So everyone worked together to assemble them. Using ribbon and shrink wrap, I wrapped up all the junk I had found into neat little parcels and then advertised them on Ebay as "Mystery Gifts".
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
Of course there will be a need for towels to wipe up the floor after the shaving cream fight! Of course Xander won because he had the best aim, and because he also had the best laundry hamper in the whole building, word got around and students were constantly knocking on his door to see it!
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
When we got there, a huge fog bank rolled in, and it looked really scary, so we waited until the sun went down. Then it was cooler because we switched the fan to counter-clockwise, and that made us feel sleepy. So we immediately went loco.
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
Put all of it in the back of the truck and take it to the dump! And while you are there, make sure you pick up some latticework or fishing line because as the vine grows, it wraps around everything in its path and starts choking the other plants when then in desperation they start to prune it, they don't know such actions are misguided.
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
I was so irritated because the water would not go out of the washer! Was I going to have to dip it out by hand? The only container I could find was a big plastic laundry basket. One big one should be all I need. More than that would mean I would have to spend the next 3 hours sorting it!
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
The last time they did that, they got incinerated by the laser turrets on Greg's base!! He's such a meanie! He's a gigantic snowman reclining in a lawn chair.
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
You look like you are carrying a Beretta PX4 Storm Compact 9mm! With its comfortable grip and good balance and accuracy, this pistol would be a good choice for wearing on the plane.
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
Everyone loved the red and yellow ones. Maybe it was because their kitchens were so well-organized. In fact, anyone could just walk in and easily help themselves to croissants, chocolate eclairs, and mugs of steaming beef stew.
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
I was ready to start my new life! Confronted with a mob of irritated neighbors, I ran back into the house and packed! I was ready to start my new life! Perfectly pressed and tailored, it did wonders for my mood, and I felt so happy and confident, I called up all my friends and invited them over for a little thing we like to call an "Intervention."
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
But you know he needs all the help he can get, and you can help by registering all your information on the website, so every time from then on you won't have to type in your office on your clicky-clacky IBM keyboard from 1981.
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
Then, once I found my shovel and a bucket, it was time to start to start bagging up the compost to sell at our roadside stand.Per bag, the price would start at $159.00 Some may say that's high, but it's worth it because good compost does not stink !
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
They must have come from the bottom of the fridge, behind puddles of spilled condiments and half-rotted vegetables.
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
Unfortunately, just at the last second, I slipped in the mud and slid right into a big pile of manure. That was the last straw! He had had it! He was mad as hell, and wasn't going to take a long time to get through all that! So take a deep breath and enjoy the wonderful fall smell of burning leaves and the aromatic essence of powdered Dramamine, which helped keep my lunch down as the plane bounced and quivered its way to jump altitude.
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
And when Spring comes, gently layer it around the exposed dirt. The next thing to do is to take some string and weave a hanging basket.
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
Angry and frustrated, I threw it into a tub of warm soapy water hoping I could soak out the blood. When I looked into the tub a few minutes later, much to my amazement I saw the tomato vine growing taller & taller right before my eyes!
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
Why is it that you don't get hungry until you are in the kitchen. Don't be surprised if you find yourself by asking hard questions, not taking anything at face value, exposing yourself to new experiences, and at every opportunity, enjoying a big bowl of homemade potato salad.
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
Come on! How could anybody be that behind the times? Clearly it's time to fill your pot with dirt and of course water it. Why then would you not want that?
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
Carrington, the newspaper deliveryman! He was known for being obnoxious to the nth degree. Everyone was gathering into little groups to avoid talking to him. Then suddenly he came toward us and said, "I want my two dollars!" Panicking, I slept.
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
That is a perfect recipe for thin crust Pizza a la Greg. Who want a piece? Ethan will be glad to help you if you find your wallet is straining to hold all that money. First, we'll go out to lunch. Then we'll get a new phone.
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
Before I could explain myself, the owner of the garden center rushed over, alarmed yet civil, and insisted that I present certification from the county that I had been approved to dig an artificial pond.
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
Next we put the pastel cupcake wrappers in the muffin pan and put it in the larger mixing bowl. I wanted the batter to stay fluffy, so very gently I hollowed out each cupcake and spooned in a mixture of soft serve ice cream, grated coconut, ground-up Kit-Kat bars, and wet walnuts.
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
It could also be caused by heavy and drenching downpours of rain which then froze over the entire Rock when the temperature suddenly dropped.
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
Everything is so cold, so frozen, so depressing! I need to travel to a warm clime, and bask in the humid warmth of the American South. Animals you could expect to see include Kangaroos and Koala Bears! They are so cute. If I tried to take a Koala cub home, I am sure the airport authorities would introduce me to Connor Trinneer, AKA Trip Tucker from Star Trek: Enterprise!
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
They say the most important thing to consider when deciding to accept a new job is whether or not to include your brief stint as a soldier of fortune.
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
They were cheap, but smelled like peppermint cocoa....yum !! I could drink a giant mug of that! And right on top I would squirt a big dollop of mayonnaise. It's good for you! It's Regular Ordinary Swedish meal time flies when you're having fun!
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
And habanero sauce! And Colleen's kick-yo-ass hot sauce! Maybe then it will be easier to accomplish.The first rule of making a good resolution is to make it specific. For example, don't just say that you're going to lose weight.
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
You will recognize the delivery personnel by their red noses so cold and dripping with molasses. Or was it maple syrup? Regardless, I put it on the plate with the other desserts next to the Christmas tree. Arrange them in a semi-circle under the Christmas tree, but make sure they are not near any pets.
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
But the plumber was allergic to walnuts! He went into anaphylactic shock and died. Oh well, more brownies for us. And we soon had enough to make brownies with.
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
I exclaimed. "I'm a high-class dude, so I require REAL POWER." I stared quizzically at Vladimir Putin, who was in turn staring intensely at a full-size horse and licking his lips. With a glorious roar, he hefted it over his shoulders and tried to go through the front door.
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
It is possible and it will save your hands from getting that dreaded Ebola virus! Get away from me with those unwashed hands, those filthy clothes, those rock formations look suspicious." Indeed, upon further observation, my screen was all smeared so I read up on the internet how to clean it, and it said to spray it with glow-in-the-dark paint.
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
How did you get here? I bet you traveled on a expired visa! Bad boy! Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? I'm talking about the ICE, of course, and they don't have space suits safe enough to last over 6 months on Mars. So to be truly safe, they would need to suit up in 30 seconds or less!
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
Plus during the heat of the day we will be under the gun to finish all fun and games we'd been planning on having a big family picnic; so we called everyone and asked them each to bring a basket of posies, so we could dance around them and sing morbid songs about the bubonic plague.
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
But what an awesome game. What a bad game ending!!! But what an awesome game. What the hell?!?!?! What a bad game ending!!! But what an awesome game. And with that, the screen went blank!!
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
Should old acquaintance[s] be forgot, and never brought to mind, then I'll never see you again, and that suits me just fine." Then some other people also stood up, put their hands over their hearts, and with great gusto, they sang "
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
So I kept going until I reached the end of of the road...and there was the sun setting in a gorgeous display of orange and gold !! I had come too far and seen too much to stop now! So I kept going until I reached the end of of the road...and there was the sun setting in a gorgeous display of orange and gold !!
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
Want a return to the moral, family values that made this country great? Then you need to put your feet up sometimes. Do you want more freedom? Want a return to the moral, family values that made this country great? Then you need to put your feet up sometimes. One must get rid of them by voting for the Republican candidate!
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
The remedy for that is to be totally relaxed, have warm socks on your feet, and be ready to tackle the quarterback!
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
It now read, "I (fill in your name) will not directly or indirectly engage in any business that competes with the cupboard of Old Mother Hubbard." So many kids, what else could she do?
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
They would cover the Earth with moss. Happiness is cozy, soft, and green. How could anyone argue against me? Do they want to get punched? Do they want me bring the thunder? Do they want clean air or warm houses? They cannot have both !! In fact, over their noses they may have to wear tinfoil hats to protect them from the mind-reading satellites used by an ancient civilization to battle aliens.
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
Get organized! Go for gold! With a GQ (genetic quotient) this high, Jerome Morrow was never meant to be one step down on the podium. That's why he put all his underwear into zip-lock bags.
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
Would any stores be open? I opened the phone book to look for Christmas presents. she exclaimed, "It's not even Thanksgiving yet, and already you're behind schedule!"
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
prrrecciouusss... Those hobbitses are always stealing from us. Those nasty little roaches were everywhere!
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
Believe it or not down the road came a knick-knack, paddywack, give a dog a wrapped-up box of chew bones and when he tears the wrapper off he will bite into a raw onion! Now he has great breath! (Muhahahaha) He also has another present hidden in the glove box of his car.
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
For the love of all that's holy, don't bump them! That's a good egg. Now also watch out for jugs of dirty car oil, because if you were to accidentally kick one over, your foot would probably end up kicking the butt of somebody who just wandered into your garage and started messing everything up.
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
There was a lot, but I managed to get it all stuffed in. With that out of the way, I decided to take a break and get some tinsel to throw on the tree. I could only find silver of course. I took the strands out of the bag and placed them one by one on the shooting gallery.
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
But by that point there must have been at least 1,000 zombies! They were now known to be in cahoots with the left wing red diaper doper babies.
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
IN YOUR FACE!! HAHAHAHA!!!! Then, we passed our box of clutter in a circle like Musical Chairs, and whoever ended up with the box, then that person had to chase the Fly Lady all over the room with a butterfly net.
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
because big drops of sweat were pouring down my face. It was just so hot that I had to grab the hat and hurl it into a guy's open car window as I shot past him on the interstate. Utterly freaked out, he slammed on the brakes just in time to avoid hitting the big brown and white brownie sundae with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles.
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
In retaliation we created even more heroes to fight in Paragon City! When we were finished we must have totaled at least 1000 kills in the 3 hours we spend running through the sewers. We also went from level 1 to level the concrete slab so that the new gazebo would not be crooked.
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
Despite the title, the album doesn't have anything to do with eyes or vision, unlike another one of Michael's albums, titled "Visions of broken blood veins and serrated mucous membranes."
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
Cool! and by then my hand was so sore from playing City of Heroes I had to take a break! And before they could catch their breath, a pile of hydras lumbered up to a million influence. Cool! and by then my hand was so sore from playing City of Heroes I had to take a break!
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
I jumped off the building right into the middle of 5 contaminated thugs who began pummeling the Playstation in frustration. Hey! That'd make a good name for a game: "Playstation Frustration"!
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
But they were eating all the leaves off my periwinkles. This calls for action! So I mixed up a poison solution and poured it on the fire to put it out! That was close!
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
I moved the work table next to the cat food which was really starting to stink! I needed some deodorizing spray, so I went to the store and bought a can of Great Stuff and sprayed it into the crevice.
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
A deer! A female deer! Re! A golden drop of perspiration gently made a rivulet down my forehead and off the tip of my spoiler! That's how slippery this car is. It moves through air like a hot knife through butter.
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
It wouldn't have been the first time. They quietly ordered an X-ray of his brain, completely unsure what the bulge was. They were pretty sure though that the X-ray would show the presence of decades-old cysts the size of walnuts.
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
There were 100 accountants, all identical!! They all laughed, and said you look like an alien! If you don't believe us, just go look in the mirror, and you will see why all accountants insist on only being paid with gold bullion.
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
I ran toward the van to try and get his autograph, but he growled, "I ain't got time for your jibba-jabba, fool!" And with that, he made a U-turn and proceeded back down the road and bumped into a steel spike that protruded from a pile of obliterated concrete.
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
I was tired of all this foreign stuff. I was ready for some authentic foreign cuisine to help get me in the mood for more lingo.
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
They must be coming from Mars! We're being invaded on Christmas!" He ran inside the house to call the electric company because the power seemed to be off. He kept plugging in lights but instead of coming on, they would just explode like a long string a chinese firecrackers.
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
You're no match for our shoulder-mounted quantum rocket launchers!" Without further ado or hesitation, he pulled out his Equalizor, opening very carefully the hatch, and peering in; there seemed to be a strange odor drifting out.
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
In moments like these, I'm sure glad I use Dial. Don't you wish everybody would have dressed up the way WE did?!!
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
Famished, I dug in with reckless abandon. For dessert I asked for English Trifle, a scrumptuous dessert of whipped cream, fresh fruit, and sponge cake soaked with nervous sweat. She wasn't paying attention and drifted into the oncoming lane!
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
He stomped his feet and then he yelled, " God bless us, every one!" A tear ran down my cheek as a sudden blast of frigid, snowy air reddened my nose, numbed my cheeks, caught my breath and blew all my packages into a snowdrift.
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
I tried not to smirk when the customer called me "Luv". I knew she was from Guinea, especially when she proceeded to order a Whopper...oops, this is McDonald's!!!
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
I shuddered; I now knew why I liked pumpkin pie so much. I could hardly wait to get back home so I could start making trouble for everyone. I'm good at that!!
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
I know that will make you feel completely relaxed. So just close your eyes and whatever you do, don't think about pink elephants. HAHAHA! You thought of pink elephants!!!
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
We were all nervously excited. We were about to embark on a six-month voyage so we packed 6 cases of peanut butter and 6 crates of oranges, for vitamin C.
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
The new teacher was quite a knock-out! Really! Her hair was silver blonde and reached all the way to her cell phone, to call her geeky son. Fortunately he was home. "Hey! she whispered quickly. he exclaimed. "You can't be serious!
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
They also will alleviate constipation, especially for people who eat a lot of pasta! This is so versatile, you can even use it to shell hard-boiled eggs.
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
They drew pictures of monsters that will scare the poop out of them!!! Hahaha! We put them in the bathtub because it's just easier to wipe two bottoms at the same time. To do this, you just need a lot of patience.
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
When they saw it, they finally understood. They were running dune buggies up there! The water flew out and drenched the apple pie in whipped cream, which I then cheerfully took to the neighbor's house. When they saw it, they finally understood. They were running dune buggies up there!
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
That way we can glide more easily into the gulch, where we will be protected from the oncoming onslaught of tornadoes. Well, safer, anyway. There's no telling what we will do if we start down that mountain and our brakes give out! We will probably end up going into a rest area to collect tourist pamphlets for the area.
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
People's lives are at stake! If you blow a tire and hit the fence, you know what could happen: spontaneous decapitation. So it would be better to replace the little Honda engine that sounds like a lawnmower with a Chevy big block, which was just delivered by Jeff Gordon himself!
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
And it was beeping! Actually it sounded like a pretty good idea. So I went ahead and drank my own urine, since that was the only way to survive.
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
Everything else had failed...THIS was the one! and 250 lbs, could best be described as high fat, high sodium, and high sugar.
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
Won't they be surprised. But the really big surprise was that my daughter's decorated mud pies were selling like crazy! In fact we must have already sold at least 20 of them and our cash flow was now a total of about $3.25.
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
OH NO! We would look out to the horizon and see all our parachutes flying out the window!
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
I nodded, and added, " Boy! Am I a Dork! Can you tell that I am a MENSA member? My IQ is higher than my weight." "Oh really? she said with a wink. Great googlely-mooglely...that was just about the nicest thing anyone had ever said! Well, after hearing that, I was ready to sharpen all my pencils, and I discovered I need to go buy a new pocketsize spiral notebook and a black power cable.
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
If I did, then I could REALLY feel my heart pounding! I knew I had to get out of there, and the only way to do it was to amputate from above the knee. But that's OK-- we can replace it with saline, or I can tell you about our latest experiment: something we've been growing in the lab.
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
It will spark so much interest, you'll be building the biggest mega-cat-condo in the world! All I have to do is take all this extra cat litter and put it in the display case at the local Pet Store.
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
This has to be done very carefully! If you don't do it correctly, you will have me to deal with!" With that, we all started booking the wallpaper so the glue would prep correctly. Five minutes later the glue had hardened like week-old oatmeal.
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
I decided to put it in the garbage disposal to see what would happen.
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
I am your free taxi service today! But if you feel you must, you can just give me a chance! I'll be the best Space Marine you've ever seen, I promise! Now please repeat your name very slowly. Because I have short-term memory loss, you may even have to punch the button repeatedly to make it work, okay?"
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
Be sure to tell all the passengers to please consider us the next time they're making travel plans.
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
I came into this world a nobody, but I'm going to leave happy. Yes siree! No one can take the smile off my face!
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
MY own Cooking Show! The studio kitchen was sparkling, brand new appliances, and plenty of brandy.
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
Then everyone will know that you grew up in the Sixties. We can tell because your clothes look so cool, they have to be made in Greenland by eskimos.
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
She gave me such an evil look, that I really wanted to give her a chance to make better hot chocolate than the swill she had been serving. I told her, "You have to SMILE at the customer! Make them feel welcome! Here, I'll show you."
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
Ha! Ha! Ha!" He laughed and exclaimed, "I'm turning this sucker into a waterside museum! Ha! Ha! Ha!" I could have told you he was crazy, and everyone would have agreed with me, but still, no one could believe what he did next: he set the throttle to flank speed, and ran the ship aground, right in the middle of the beach!
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
I pushed the lever and water erupted from the white platform. That's when I realized: it was a giant bidet! But to use a bidet this large, someone would have to have a butt the size of a pouf chair which happened to be covered with at least an inch of freeze-dried shrimp had rained down onto the roadway.
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
Next, she declared she would eat more chocolate than ever before. She would also eat a lot more lettuce! With a healthier diet, lifting weights, power walking, and balacing my checkbook on time so that I know I have enough money to buy some new underwear! Whew! Now I won't be embarrassed if I get in a car accident!
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
Bam! Bam! The rockets landed with a great sound like a car crash! But it was the dishes, falling on the kitchen floor because the kids were up on the counter trying to get their own breakfast! Lieutenant Leotard and his gymnastic Cadre of Doom were attacking the Mars Landing Base.
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
because we couldn't run the risk of any publicity. The slightest amount could alter the electrolyte balance of everyone on the base! To prevent absolutely any mistake, we chose to consult Mr.
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
We were almost there when great hailstones began falling from the sky. Why they were huge! They were as big as beanbag chairs!
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
And with that, I got out a notepad and pencil, and started planning for NEXT Christmas! An hour later my receipt showed up in my e-mail. And with that, I got out a notepad and pencil, and started planning for NEXT Christmas! I need to, umm, get some stuff."
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
Crying, she moaned, "Why me? Why do I have to wear that hideous dress? Can't you see that it is too cold in here for a swimsuit shoot! Blue lips are not sexy!" Now fix your wardrobe immediately!" Crying, she moaned, "Why me?
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
How cute! His big brown eyes were gazing toward the girl relaxing on the park bench, eyes closed, gently rocking her head in time with whatever music was playing on her headphones. I thought to myself, "THAT'S what I need -- a whole bottle of sleeping pills!
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
Give one to the director. Here, put this one in his pocket!" I considered that, but decided it would be better to just hand it to him and let him put it in his pipe and smoke it. He doesn't deserve half the credit he's getting on this dig, and I intend to catalog every single piece of bone that I can find unlike the other slacker diggers who every day haphazardly would just come along, completely disregarding any scholarly integrity, and REFILL the holes with dirt from various random locations , because we couldn't seem to find a single location that met all our criteria for what we had in mind for the recruitment ad.
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
In fact, you may find that the selection of 2x4s has way too many knots in it. In which case, you should start over. As much of a headache that is, it'll be even worse if you led mold take control. So we looked at the dehumidifiers. They were piled to the ceiling in a very haphazard manner.
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
Your other alternative is to eat yogurt 3 times a day. To add to the great nutritional value of the yogurt, you can add chopped tuna. That will add good protein without making you feel overfull. Eat quickly, and that saltine cracker will be gone before you know it.
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
Are you insane?" "Well, at least I didn't try to dig a basement. I'm sure if I did I would have an underground playroom! Complete with tire swing, roller-skating area, dress-up box, and kitchenette! All the neighbors' kids were stomping in the mud, making a big mess: so I put them to work mixing up the cement instead.
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
Ah, the warm feeling in my tummy! Ah, the power coming out of my legs, my arms, my fingertips.
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
I had found this out by trying to push down ALL the little red levers. The volunteer outside the curtain heard all the mechanical sounds and mumbling, and called out to him, "It doesn't work like that!
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
Before most of us even had a chance to warm up and get going, one of the scouts was back with fantastic news.
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
The theme this year was Election Year Falderall! We brought out the banners of red, white, and blue. We brought out the banners of elephants and donkeys.
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
I thought it was worth a try, so I plugged in some batteries and turned it on. Lights started flashing red, white, and blue!
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
All I need to know is are there any dead rats in here?! I sure don't want to be the one to find them! To look into those far corners, I think I will ask Mr.
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
Dust and debris fell as the bricks were loosened from the incredible shock. People across the street turned to look and gasped because streams of green sludge were rushing down the gutters and into the subway tunnel. "We should be safe here!" I whispered. We even tried to quiet our breathing, fast and loud from our sprint.
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
I could tell because of the short shorts, and the brightness of his pink shirt hurt my eyes.
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
"You think you have the right to scare innocent people like that?
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
And then, it was time for an ad. A man appeared holding a microphone in the face of John Kerry so close that his nose was almost all the way to the back of his head! "Who did this to you?" They asked. "NINJA!" He yelled "Stop the presses! Stop the presses!!"
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
Admittedly, that artistic effort, combined with the variety of color in the salad made it extraordinarily beautiful. However, I sighed, knowing that again, soon after eating, I'd be hungry. Why didn't anybody else want any greasy meat?! What those vegans need are some good old pork rinds deep fried in lots of bubbly champagne.
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
When the alarm sounded, the inspector pulled aside a tall glass of iced tea!
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
So we played a boom box until the windows started to tremble. We lowered the volume just in time before the other dancer jumps over you. The idea is to create the picture of water with the water birds in it. So the next move is a demi plie; just swirl around and fluidly reach for your toes and come back up to face the audience.
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
Giant scorpions, venomous snakes and worse hounded our every step. We turned a corner and tripped over a string somebody had stretched along near the floor! "Why would somebody put that there?" I grumbled as I tried my best not to throw up.
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
It was so beautiful I couldn't take my eyes off it! The merchant told me this was the last day he would be open. Before I could say another word, the air shimmered around us and a transdimensional vortex appeared in mid-air, sucking the entire bazaar into oblivion before my very eyes!
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
We will swim to that shark cage, get in, lock the gate, and wait anxiously for nightfall. I'm exhausted!" Trying to keep up with Lance Armstrong is just impossible! I am going to wheel in here to this little cafe and order a tall glass of foamy beer, running out of the keg, down the bar, and onto the floor, puddling around the table legs in yeasty-smelling bubbles.
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
You'll won't do me in with that heater!" He grabbed it and they wrestled around the foyer, until the judge bangs his gavel, and yells, "Order in the Court!" When he finally found the cash register, he looked at it and exclaimed, "
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
I set out to be the fastest, bestest, rootin'-tootin'est cow milker in the whole state. To limber myself up I scampered up the ladder into the hay loft and jumped up and down in the hay. Then I took a flying leap into the big pile of you-know-what! You can't get away from that on a farm, you know!
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
They weren't scared. They had bombs, laser guns, machine guns, and they had a metal box that could change into a jet with a laser gun that could shoot stuff.
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
So I grabbed a hand hoe and started hacking at it. No interlopers in this garden! You can count on me to take care of all the weeds, because I know what a weed looks like.
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
Just then, Weldon appeared with a Rally's bag in each hand, giggling. Weldon, that is, not the Rally's bags. She grabbed them and shook them. And then ran. Kicking up dust, hollering at women, and playing music too loud.
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
She knew they wouldn't harm her. Just one look at the M-60 machine gun she had slung easily over her shoulder and they knew she meant business. Molly was almost 7 feet tall and weighed 260 lbs. Her hair was blonde and braided into long pigtails which were wrapped around her bulging arms.
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
Next time I see you I will give you $20, but only if you can seat us in a better part of the restaurant. Otherwise, all the berets in the city are going to end up in the river!
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
They didn't get to the bathroom in time! "Oh well," I said, "Who wants those old toys made in China anyway? I think Ethan and I can make better toys on our own. Hey, maybe we could have our own TOY factory! We could invent new ones! And we could sell some of them to the President of the Unites States!
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
And sometimes they're loud! Sometimes they're so loud they are deafening; so cacophonous they pierce your ears; so mind-boggling they make your butt steam!
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
Needless to say, we were pretty exhausted, and ready for a break. We cautiously asked the drill sargeant if he would let us have some more corned beef hash before we had to do another 100 push-ups. But nooooo, we did more push-ups and then it was time to go to the mess hall. We were rushed through the line, got our trays of food and sat down.
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
"This isn't right!" I exclaimed. "Pops doesn't sell chicken nuggets! Do we, guys?" He chuckled as he called over his shoulder to the crew. They all laughed nervously because they knew where this was headed.
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
FIRE! Get out of the building! There's no time to lose! You must hurry because there's a bomb threat! Terrorists are threatening to destroy the entire campus!!"
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
If you give a mouse a cookie, he's probably going to want some milk to go with it, and if you give him some milk, he may think he's a cat. Cuz cats like milk. Almost as much as they like washing the dishes. And if you let him wash the dishes, he may notice the soap bubbles drifting in the air, and that will remind him of days long gone by when he used to sit under the willow tree lanquidly blowing bubbles and drinking his tall cold glass of lemonade, and he would daydream about floating on his back in the swimming pool, feeling the warm sunshine and cool water, relaxing while listening to the sonic booms from the numberless jets flying overhead.
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
Don't you ever get tired of going to the same place for vacation every year? This time, why don't you go to the creek and wade in the cold water?
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
And that's ALL I NEED! And my pup tent. In case it rains. And that's ALL I NEED! And this chair. And that's ALL I NEED. And this dead battery.
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
BE QUIET! BE QUIET!" And then he yelled it again with even more emphasis," REVENGE IS SWEET, AND A DISH BEST SERVED COLD!!" By this time the cops had arrived and everything got very confusing after that. I realized this was a good opportunity to get out of there, so I quietly nudged past the jostling, shouting crowd, resisting the temptation to tear out the pages of the 1500-page unabridged dictionary and start making ragged origami with them.
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
YOu're an idiot. Let me out of here! I want to go get a massage now. I feel tense. There's nothing like a good dose of Ex-lax to loosen you up.
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
Who in the world let that happen?! The early morning drive-thru lane was already backing up. Should we use the meat anyway, or should we ask the customers to leave and go somewhere that doesn't suck? Then I had an idea: I sat down next to a customer and smiled.
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
Maybe I should crush them into little bits and bake them in the oven and feed them back to the chickens. That's what my daddy would do. It will harden their pork brains until they're nice and crunchy.
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
" We can take them and subject them to my newest ultimate move: Swirling Vortex of Thousand-Hand Doom!"
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
I want it black, black, black with extra coffee. Now, I also want all your money. I mean ALL of it. Hand it over or I will give you a million dollars in exchange for leaving the country and never mentioning this again!"
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
What bummer!" So they hurried to put on their Superman underwear, because it was as inspiring as nothing else is. Thusly donned, they left--earning strange stares since the underwear was actually their outerwear.
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
Then the Count called all the servants together to tell them the bad news: They would no longer get free sandwiches until the draconian taxes levied by the Duke of Hazzarde were removed. Count Muenster, along with the Earl of Sandwich, agreed to approach the Duke, but first the catapult must be reloaded.
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
The judge escaped deep scratches by hiding under his desk. Miss Na Tasha was into heavy spitting, and Barrister had to resort to using a bowl of Grape-Nuts for a litterbox.
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
You continue this until you're an ultimate ninja, and we will all thumb our noses at you, because your strength will be like a river, rushing along pell mell with not a backward glance, gleefully heading for a sure collision with that wall! That wall of fatigue that just suddenly hits you when you've eaten salmonella-laden salad at Ponderosa Steak House. The you have to absolutely rush to get to the place.
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
He spent most of the time talking about himself. As a result, they gave permission to build on the site of the historic battlefield never realizing that an apocolyptic tidal wave was only a few miles away and coming fast.
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
When he opened the cabinet, Lo, and behold, he found his missing bottle of pills.