Betty's Turn-Down Game

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Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
Let's go ride it! We can see the whole countryside and we can see all the people in the truck stop, staring at the calendar, realizing it's only a few days before Summer!
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
So we can just go ahead and fry the hamburgers right over this nice fire. They will taste delicious, so go get the tomatoes, lettuce, onion, pickles, and jar of eyeballs. Who keeps a jar of real eyeballs? It's like a cry for help, or something. All this stuff had to be bagged and filed as evidence.
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
The snowfall of the previous days dampened the sound; there was only a slight rustling of tree branches as the wind brushed over the hills. The fresh cold air stung his nose as as he pulled up his snuggly warm scarf mask. hmmm may be those masks really are good for something!
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
When they answered the phone, they said "We don't want any." Then they slammed down the phone, jumped up and down, and stomped into the mud room. Most people's mud rooms have a bench where you can sit down and take off your muddy boots before you go into the house.
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
But anyway, that's okay because we'll fry it later. So, as for sides, we wanted Greg's famous Sweet Potato Casserole, Bonnie's famous Homemade Stuffing, and most of all, Xander's famous bread!
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
Scram." The old ladies chuckled, ash sprinkling from the tips of their cigars. It is difficult to imagine that a gathering of seated elderly ladies could be intimidating, but their deadly stares and seasoned hands put my blood on ice. Their leader placed a salmon-pink square of floral embroidery on the table, her nails clacking the hard surface like the snap of a rib.
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
Instead, go mallwalking! While you're there, make sure you order at least one latte and sit by a window as you watch go by the wayside. And you can't help but wonder, " Will these trolls ever leave me alone? Don't they have anything better to do than trolling people in the middle of the night?"
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
As the countdown began, the Kiwis settled comfortably back in their form-fitting astronaut seats and prepared for take-off.
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
The Mange had set in with great ferocity. The Vet was astounded.
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
Yes, it is in my genes to like thunderstorms! My grandfather used to stand in the doorway and watch them as he listened to the roar of the crowd and the empassioned shouting of the MC as the local wrestling favorite, "Thunderstorms", vaulted into the ring.
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
In advance of your gift-wrapping day, make a list of who gave what so I could send them a thank you note. With each note I could include a handmade gift tag to indicate who it's from-and-to, but instead I'd really rather use this stick of dynamite!
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
I will blame it on Smokey the Bear and his trusty cohort in crime, namely The Cheat--a strange, small creature skilled in stealth and thievery.
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
Amazed, I watched while the panel I'd kicked receded, and the door slowly creaked open....
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
Sure enough, there was a bunch of money in there! It's a good thing I went through it or I would have missed finding all those old plastic machine guns.
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
My next challenge is to quit messing around and get a REAL job, like you know, I want a big salary, and no sweaty job. Sitting at a desk with the so cool AC and a cuppa tea whenever I wanted it... You know that would be the ultimate experience!
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
And it's a good thing they did, because if they hadn't done so, and quick, we all know what would have happened. So thankfully, it didn't, and because it didn't there will not be any baby tufts of stump grass growing in the vast emptiness of outer space.
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
Coming home from Texas I opened up the cabinet door under the sink, and saw a cat. "Perfect!" I thought. "They're designed to be mousetraps, and are cute and fuzzy too." I scooped him up and went through a massive stone archway, imposing and mystical. It bridged the gap between this world and the others, and beyond it were visible incomprehensible wonders and horrors alike.
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
We could hardly wait to eat! I even could detect the smell of SUCCESS!! With their youthful energy and can-do attitude, nothing could stop the students from rioting about the demolition of the omelet bar.
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
I know! We can give them bowls of scorpions! We scooped them up during our daily desert hike. The sneaky bastards tried to sting us but we were too smart for them.Once we had about 50 of them, we were ready to proceed. With great flourish, we took the bowls and put them under the dogs' noses and they went to town!
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
I get instead a blast of the past. It's 80s music everywhere! It reminds of all the times that I ever wanted more in my whole life. Surely someone would figure out that what I really wanted was a simple joy.
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
Saturday Night Fever"--it makes you want to dance, but you wouldn't admit to your high-society friends that you like it. Something that tastes this good should be offered in the Trump Tower restaurant!!
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
foam fingers and their goofy hats with the springy antennas. politicians, but true to form, they proceeded to just laugh and point and not help at all. Not only were the kids running around like crazy, the adults were really getting hungry and with the hunger came grumpiness. but then I realized he was listening to praise music on his earbuds and singing along.
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
everyone responded, with enthusiasm. High-fiving all around, we proceeded to hunt for what we would need: big gift baskets filled with bubble bath, chocolate candy, and packets of candy.
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
Xander didn't care since he had a trick to combat the roaches and mice that had invaded the dorm.
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
I blurbled. He looked at me like I was an idiot. he said as we sped toward the marina. When we got there, a huge fog bank rolled in, and it looked really scary, so we waited until the sun went down. Then it was cooler because we switched the fan to counter-clockwise, and that made us feel sleepy.
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
They have always known about what pesticides were too dangerous to use. For instance you would never use DDT in combination with crystals of methamphetamine! I didn't want to break the bad news, but police could show up at any minute!
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
And the name of it was " Your dearest wish come true." Oh! Well, in that case, we should string up some clothesline in the back yard. One end we could wrap around the big pine tree, and the other end we could tie to the neck of an ISIS terrorist!
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
You could easily run into a large elk, arctic fox, or other similar sleds and sleighs, all designed to go really fast down a snowy hill, as long as they were not running around in their underwear as if they were about to take the Polar Bear Plunge.
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
I know there are tons of photos to go through and sort. We should put the ones of Xander and Ethan in a special embossed hankerchief. It had the monogram "A", which I thought stood for "Ackerson", but it actually was 4 hours before we finally got out of Costco !
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
Well, hello there!!! I've been ever so busy lately that I nearly stumbled. Rearranging the packages I was carrying, put them all off balance and I dropped all of them right into a pool of exceeding clarity. Twenty feet below, I could see the dim sparkle of my diamond watch which had slipped off my wrist.
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
So I put on my hat, opened the door, walked out on to the front porch, and stepped into a new suit! Perfectly pressed and tailored, it did wonders for my mood, and I felt so happy and confident, I called up all my friends and invited them over for a little thing we like to call an "Intervention."
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
It's like free money!! and who would that be? !! That would be SANTA!! The only one who delivers more Christmas presents than UPS!
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
It turned over layer by layer as I rotated the barrel. I expected a bad odor, but all I smelled was the thick, sticky smoke from Stevens' smouldering burn pile.
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
and proceeded to have a coughing fit that lasted for approximately 20 seconds. Then everything continued as before, except, curiously, one boy on a skateboard crashed through the Deli's plate glass window and he landed in the bin of expired fruit.
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
I had gotten as ready as I could for this fall, and now the only thing left was to sit back in my easy chair and enjoy a cool sparkling glass of Mountain Dew ! So take a deep breath and enjoy the wonderful fall smell of burning leaves and the aromatic essence of powdered Dramamine, which helped keep my lunch down as the plane bounced and quivered its way to jump altitude.
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
He slowly inched through the pasture field dodging cow pies and carefully watching out for the hot-tempered bull, which was hiding behind a clump of weeds.
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
I took them and soaked them overnight. Then I carefully placed them side by side in a plastic tray.
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
I thought I could see through it. Was it a ghost? Uncertain, I reached out my hand and gingerly nudged the doughnut. It seemed to be moving by itself!
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
Because if that happened we would all have to go back to writing cards and letters. How different that was! We had to wait days or weeks for an answer! Now we only have to wait to get the bill.
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
ME WANT COOKIE! GIMME COOKIE!! his name must be stricken from the Lamb's Book of Life. That'll teach 'em! It was going to be a whirlwind adventure, scenic, and of course buying lots of tickets: to the movies, to the amusement park, and to go to the back of the bus where you can be alone so you can read your fortune cookie!
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
The options were spaghetti and meatballs, lasagna, or rigatoni. I picked the lasagna and doused it with balsamic vinaigrette. As a finishing touch, he sprinkled on some red pepper flakes, chopped up jalapeno peppers, and just a splash of vodka.
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
they cried in unison. They then proceeded to knock over all my pink flamingoes in protest and put arsenic in the birdbath.
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
So, I decided to use paper liners this time, because the last time I didn't, and add any baking powder, so when I took them out of the oven, they looked like they would be delicious!
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
There, under a little tree, we saw all colors of lichens growing on the bald rock. When I touched one, it felt rough. I decided to take a picture.
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
If there's one thing I know, it's that you never want to lace-up shoes to the airport, because they are too hard to get on and off, especially if they are laced with arsenic!
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
You would need a pulsed X-ray laser to measure that time frame! It could also measure each kid to make sure the desks were the right size.
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
We can't have a big mess all over the place when our company arrives!" We are expecting at least 10,000 pounds of bacon being consumed at the synagogue open house. That's why we need to get a case of Champagne.
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
And now you know how to make your neighbors your best friends for life !Just walk over, knock on their door and with great enthusiasm, say, " I knew I could do it!" Just make sure you stop at the first sign of feeling faint. And now you know how to make your neighbors your best friends for life !Just walk over, knock on their door and with great enthusiasm, say, "
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
Sit back, relax, and take a big sample of that egg nog !! I think we deserve it ! Now you are all set for a very Merry Christmas! Sit back, relax, and take a big sample of that egg nog !!
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
It has to be Vodka! Sweet lifeblood of our glorious mother country, it falls like water from the skies and collects in pools. Children from the nearby village came running, naked, to dive into a particularly deep collection of sweet, sweet, silvery alcohol.
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
He dropped his torch and it sputtered, going out in moments. He was left in utter darkness and promptly eaten by a grue.
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
It's a good thing I was wearing my boots. The cave floor was piled high with years of bat guano. The stench was unbearable and permeated every corner of the room.
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
You would have to rush to fill it again with concrete. This time, we're going for permanence! We're also going for the ultimate challenge of reaching Mars in less than the time it takes for a comet to become invisible again to the naked eye. A nebula suddenly appeared in my viewfinder, It was huge and did not appear on any map I had seen !
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
So much in fact that I had to cover my eyes with cucumbers slices. This spa was my favorite. It boasted a supersize Beefsteak tomato that must have weighed 10 pounds each. "How could you think we would need this much sun tan lotion?!!
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
Video games are expensive, especially if you buy them when they first come out, or even pre-order them. That's why when there's a new game coming out that I want, I always get scared if I'm approaching a shadowy corner. I'm very cautious in that case because I really don't want for a dinosaur to eat me.
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
Only, I don't think anyone else understood why I went to the movies even though I was blind! They didn't realize that my excellent sense of hearing allowed me to pick up even the slightest nuance of sound, and my vivid imagination I never would have guessed she would DIE from it!
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
But he said, You are under arrest! Face down on the ground! Put your hands behind your back stalked a ninja! He was there the ENTIRE TIME! When I realized that, I began to run as fast as I could to get home. sign.
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
It's napalm. In the morning. I LOVE IT! It smells like victory and then, when you least expect to find roly poly bugs in the flower pots. One must get rid of them by voting for the Republican candidate! Do you want more freedom? Want a return to the moral, family values that made this country great?
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
Good hygiene is always optional when skydiving. It's not like anyone can smell you at 10,000 feet! But by the time you finish your last task, you have run out of time and lost all your money causing you to giggle with delight.
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
To test it, we inserted a non-compete clause into the document. It now read, "I (fill in your name) will not directly or indirectly engage in any business that competes with the cupboard of Old Mother Hubbard."
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
Someone must have manually opened the seal! Now contamination will leak into the pantry and make the sacks of flour wet and the cans of soup rust.
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
With a GQ (genetic quotient) this high, Jerome Morrow was never meant to be one step down on the podium.
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
But it so happens that actually works out better, because Waffle House is open 24 hours! Even on Thanksgiving! Now doesn't a bacon Philly cheesesteak sound good right now instead of an ol' plastic one.
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
Well, they were in the way so I moved them next to my collection of Bunsen burners, candles, and fireworks. Next I got out the shop vac to try to scoop up that big puddle of spit on the desk where I apparently had passed out from exhaustion.
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
So I stuck out my thumb and hoped for the best. Believe it or not down the road came a knick-knack, paddywack, give a dog a wrapped-up box of chew bones and when he tears the wrapper off he will bite into a raw onion! Now he has great breath! (Muhahahaha) He also has another present hidden in the glove box of his car.
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
In fact, down on the floor in the far corner, I found a reason to live again! Now I'll never have to hunt for a tool again! Because now there is a place for everything and everything is in its final stages.
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
I heard a rustling in the chimney, an looked up and saw a huge SALE sign!!! It covered the entire front of the store!! I'd never seen anything like it. It was so big that there was no way I could fit it into my shopping bag, so to carry it in I found an empty wastebasket.
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
It was a quiet, bright morning in Uptown Suburbia, USA. I went outside to water my plants, when suddenly I heard the deep guttural voice of a zombie!
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
Anything that didn't get sold would become kindling for the bonfire that would be against my better judgment to put the white underwear into the same drawer as the colored butterflies streamed through the sewer line so fast that everyone thought, "
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
Most people who encounter the brown hat will never be affected by the hat's presence. However, for the select few who are touched by the brown hat, their lives will never be the same. Our story begins on a windy and cool, but bright, February day.
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
Why their two heads reached all the way to the moon and back. Our first order of business was to hide in the bushes and squirt everybody who walked by with a big dose of NyQuil. Within moments they were fast asleep, and I was able to turn flips so fast that we could not keep our eyes focused; nor could we show our face in Chuck E.
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
Rhonda exclaimed, "While you're in there, why don't you get me a metal prod so I can get behind the eyeball and repair the side of my car that the guy smashed into when he was trying to park, cuz he couldn't see worth a darn."
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
Abiathar needs Artorios's help. So Abiathar asked him to pass the potatoes. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we do some serious bashing!
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
That's why I have to soak my hands in hot paraffin every night. What a relief! Then the next day I am ready to open fire with my thermonuclear missile pack. I activated the targeting mechanism, punched in the coordinates, and pushed the escape button over and over to no avail.
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
It was just past the crack of dawn when I noticed a bunch of slimy slugs eating away at my petunias. So I poured on them some high powered weed killer. I looked like I was wearing HAZMAT gear, but that stuff is dangerous.
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
"Your color scheme is ALL WRONG!!!!!!" she yelled over her armful of wallpaper rolls, paint chips, and fabric squares. "Your color scheme is ALL WRONG!!!!!!" Soon, too soon, I heard steps creeping up the stairs, and into my new tech room burst Martha Stewart! she yelled over her armful of wallpaper rolls, paint chips, and fabric squares.
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
A deer! A female deer! Re! A golden drop of perspiration gently made a rivulet down my forehead and off the tip of my spoiler!
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
He paused, and then continued: " I want every intern to pay attention here.
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
They all laughed, and said you look like an alien! If you don't believe us, just go look in the mirror, and you will see why all accountants insist on only being paid with gold bullion.
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
I ran toward the van to try and get his autograph, but he growled, "I ain't got time for your jibba-jabba, fool!"
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
I decided to take a 4-week crash course on French. I'd never studied a foreign language, but there's no time like the present for developing a smooth accent.
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
Just like the song goes: "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer... Take one down, and pass it around, ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer!
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
I wondered what would happen if I touched it, so I did. And guess what happened?!! = It exploded with the force of a 1,000 thermonuclear bombs, carving a massive crater out of the side of the moon and creating a ring around the earth, which persisted forever and ever.
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
he howled, and the audience began to shuffle their feet with boredom. That restless sound soon reached the top balcony, where our VIP seats were. We could see the entire auditorium from here, as well as mink coats, diamond tiaras, and fancy tuxedos trimmed with mistletoe and holly.
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
The driver was chatting incessantly and I was sure she wasn't the real tour guide. She didn't seem to know much about the countryside, nor did she know much about the practice of rounding up American tourists and pressing them into slave labor.
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
I ordered a quad shot espresso - only problem was by the time we got to the store, my hands were skipping over the keypad like a skilled pianist playing Chopin.
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
He slapped a $500 dollar bill on the counter. "Those are out of circulation!" Bill exclaimed. the customer replied smugly. "It's legal tender. See? It says right here: "This product may contain peanuts and for those persons with allergies, it may cause severe difficulty in operating a vehicle or other heavy equipment!"
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
What could be better? Our annual trek to the pumpkin patch had finally arrived and I was going to check out the gift shop. Meanwhile, the rest of the group went to the raspberry patch and had a raspberry war!!
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
I stepped through the door and fell through a hole in the floor! I landed in a mud puddle. It brought back memories of days gone by, back when men were men and women were not to be trusted with power tools. That's man's work! And furthermore, you should sit down right now and watch all six Star Wars movies back to back.
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
In less than one minute we would look out the window and see whether we can make the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs.
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
Her hair was silver blonde and reached all the way to her cell phone, to call her geeky son. Fortunately he was home. "Hey! she whispered quickly.
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
Very carefully, Kent lifted the phone to his ear. he said cautiously. a voice exclaimed. with at least a gallon of premium unleaded. Kent then fired up the golf cart and careened off the stage, knocking pans and lampstands and gaffers everywhere.
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
So don't worry, everybody poops, more or less, and it all works out in the end. If I hurried, I could get to Warehouse Store and buy another 1000 diapers before they go to college!
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
When I go out to check the nests I might be surprised to find my neighbors have switched from listening to rap music to classic. The scintillating tones of Mozart, Bach, and Beethoven drifted with all their smokey offensive odor toward my patio!
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
But think about it, how are you going to avoid that big traffic jam up ahead? I think the best way would be to just act natural. That way we can glide more easily into the gulch, where we will be protected from the oncoming onslaught of tornadoes.
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
Look at what's at stake, for crying out loud! People's lives are at stake! If you blow a tire and hit the fence, you know what could happen: spontaneous decapitation. So it would be better to replace the little Honda engine that sounds like a lawnmower with a Chevy big block, which was just delivered by Jeff Gordon himself!
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
With all that water you could probably survive by drinking sand. You never know until you try! Why don't you turn off the water while you brush your teeth?
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
Shoot me with your water gun that I know is really filled with great tips on maintaining your new weight.
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
There's a warning label. You give it to somebody, and when they open it, 20 bullfrogs will jump out! Won't they be surprised. But the really big surprise was that my daughter's decorated mud pies were selling like crazy! In fact we must have already sold at least 20 of them and our cash flow was now a total of about $3.25.
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
Little do they know there are hidden bombs on board. And only I know the code to release them. Moo-ha ha! One more flyover and I will punch in the control panel, because obviously it's not doing any good!
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
I nodded, and added, " Boy! Am I a Dork! Can you tell that I am a MENSA member? My IQ is higher than my weight." "Oh really? she said with a wink. Great googlely-mooglely...that was just about the nicest thing anyone had ever said!
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
I knew I had to get out of there, and the only way to do it was to amputate from above the knee. But that's OK-- we can replace it with saline, or I can tell you about our latest experiment: something we've been growing in the lab.
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
And to take pictures of the project from start to finish, I bought a disposable cardboard toilet paper roll. (Hey, I was in a hurry!) Besides, it only cost 89 cents.
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
That's OK, because we bought extra rolls just in case. Try to line up the red hexagons so they match. This has to be done very carefully!
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
and it will also help you store things." After all that hard work, the value of the property went up so much I got an offer I couldn't refuse, and I moved into a condo.
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
But if you feel you must, you can just give me a chance! I'll be the best Space Marine you've ever seen, I promise! Now please repeat your name very slowly.
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
Yeee-haw! As pure jet fuel sprayed into the turbine combustion chambers, their heads snapped back as the pilot yelled, "yeeee-oouch!...that's gonna hurt in the morning". immediately started rubbing his neck and said "Ouch!
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
It's going to stay there until you get a good principal!" "We don't want a good principal!" "We want more crackerjacks! We want more juice. Fluff up our pillows! Don't you know who we are? a SHRUBBERY! Or else you will regret it!"
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
Look what just landed on the counter! It's a big glop of pork brains! Mix it in with the scrambled eggs and you will have a breakfast served to you in several courses, as I finish each section of the show. I have staff who will divide the German blood sausage into enough pieces so that everyone can have at least a Eastern European immigrant would have more good taste than the fresh-faced yahoos we've been putting on this show.
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
So I headed for the rodeo. I got my gloves, my chaps, and of course my hat. That hat and me go way back. Why, I remember when 8-tracks were giving way to audio cassettes! Now, music is one of those things you can't live without.
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
One shoe came off and smacked a customer in the face! He stood up and gathered his belongings, which was difficult to do while holding the coffee cup.
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
Stunned, I replied "But it was right here! I put it there myself!" I was completely flabbergasted! I had lost my third game of shuffleboard!
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
Before I could stop it, great volumes of gas filled the room of guests who had just arrived from the theater. They were all dressed in furs and diamonds, tuxedos and tails, and they all looked at each other with wonder, mingled with disgust.
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
They enthusiastically ran outside and threw them into the washing machine!
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
in fact, the clothes are alive! The name of this episode is "Oliver Underpants". Oliver goes on strike, and as a result Mr. has to step in and crush the resistance which happened to be the shotgun-toting tomato, Bob.
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
Me thinks in our midst we have a genuine emergency! The mood in the room instantly electrified.
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
Ah the warm desert air blowing from the west, bringing with it a great deal of heat. I wished I'd brought my sunglasses with me. I checked for other supplies: bandoliers, ammo, and flak jackets. Once the weather got really hot them Yankee-land touristers might come hunting for your A/C, and you gotta be prepared.
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
"Have a seat on this bench while I go into Best Buy. I need to, umm, get some stuff." An hour later my receipt showed up in my e-mail. And with that, I got out a notepad and pencil, and started planning for NEXT Christmas!
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
I just want to be sure to put my makeup on right this time. To help me, I want to ask Mr. Trump if he will sponsor our expo. we'll be able to afford all the makeup we will ever need. And big mirrors too.
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
And that is hard to find. To see a good selection I think I will have to go to the baths, and have a good soak. After that I should feel really blessed and just happy to be alive. It would have to be at least 8 feet tall and 4 feet wide.
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
"How did this get in here?" I exclaimed. "The sites contaminated, and we ourselves slowly dying from some unknown ancient curse, it was only a matter of time before we and all our work disintegrated back into ancient history. We did know for sure however that neanderthals did NOT eat Chicken McNuggets.
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
And then I wallpapered the bathroom with all my receipts from Lowe's...
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
That will add good protein without making you feel overfull. Eat quickly, and that saltine cracker will be gone before you know it. Now you may eat one Goldfish cracker. Next, eat some ice cream.
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
On the walls were several works of art, but they were mounted right on the dry wall!
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
Even louder, he screamed, " GET LOSE!! YOU CANNOT COMPARE WITH MY POWERS!!" As powerful as he was, he couldn't resist by Cloud of Ten Lightning Fists.
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
Step up to the table and tell me your party affiliation, if you don't mind." I answered, "As a matter of fact, I do have clean hands and a pure heart, and I have not lifted up my hand to vote for John Kerry.
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
This was where all the larvae were stored, and must be protected at all costs. Frantically, he clawed his way back to freedom. Ahh, the fresh air! Ahh, the sound of songbirds in the trees!
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
Frowning, we decided we could first try vacuuming up all the fragments of dried vomit. If they aren't stuck to the upholstery. If they are, we can try to use a high powered spray washer with a jet nozzle...or to blow his big hair dryer over the towel-dried car, for a final touch-up.
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
Something had to be done! The doctor quickly cleaned the nostrils and inserted a peanut-butter sandwich into the VCR. Then he stuck a fork in an electrical outlet. This caused him to emit a strange growl-like sound from the base of his throat. Disturbed, I asked him, "
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
Waste Management was going to come get it at the end of the week. "We should tell all the neighbors we have this in case they could use it in their eggs, for breakfast." We then looked at the workbench ; there lay Barrister really liking all the room where he could stretch out, and also he enjoyed the warm sunlight as he stepped out into the fresh air for a little break.
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
The building shook with a bone-buzzing boom! Dust and debris fell as the bricks were loosened from the incredible shock. People across the street turned to look and gasped because streams of green sludge were rushing down the gutters and into the subway tunnel.
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
I could tell because of the short shorts, and the brightness of his pink shirt hurt my eyes. I just looked the other way, because the PTA President had a booger on her nose.
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
As I turned, the figure yelled, "NINJA!" Insane with panic, I grabbed the blue ribbon watermelon and threw it as hard as I could at the red-faced perpetrator. "You think you have the right to scare innocent people like that?
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
Here with their opinions on this story are economics expert Bylo Sellhi, and psychologist Druggum Tilltheyzone: "It is simple to see that John Kerry is a drugged up spendthrift."
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
Get ready to mash those soybeans and mold the tofu into shapes resembling flowers. Admittedly, that artistic effort, combined with the variety of color in the salad made it extraordinarily beautiful.
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
Now to wash our hands. Let's use this Spanish-English dictionary to figure out what the heck they're saying! I have no idea how to get to the Transportation Museum. I want to see the Pullman cars again and sit on the sofas made from styrofoam and gasoline. Mix it up real good, and boom!
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
But was she flexible? instead of actually performing a dance. So she tried it, and her classmates didn't know whether to be impressed or amused.
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
"Boy, this is sure going to blow my diet!" she said, " Get your armor on and sharpen your sword and let's go do some fighting, and then let's go do some laundry, because I'm sure you'll all agree we're starting to smell. I noticed a stream of urine running down the side of the cavern wall.
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
What a find! I grabbed it quickly because I wanted to add it to my collection. I tried it out too. While I was whirling it around my waist, I started to feel nostalgia for the carefree days of my youth, once so far away, but now closer for seeing the whole collection of Scooby Doos all in one place was amazing!
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
The lead one proclaimed, "You have trespassed on holy ground, infidel, now you will put on your scuba gear because we are going underwater.
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
"Have you had any experience with those?" "Actually, no, I've never seen such a gruesome murder.
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
I grabbed 'em by the ear and hollered, "I'm gonna tan yer hide, boy!" I dragged him inside and tried to put him to sleep so the vet and I could operate.
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
I said. "It's so humid and hot here. I'm so sweaty." Everyone agreed and started looking around. "Look at all these fossilized bones. I wonder how old they really are. Would they be as old as me?" She shook her head, and replied "I imagine these dinosaurs are at least 100 years old.
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
Streaming out of every crevice. They were everywhere!! So I grabbed a hand hoe and started hacking at it. No interlopers in this garden! You can count on me to take care of all the weeds, because I know what a weed looks like.
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
"Do it again! Do it again!" They chanted, pounding their feet in rhythm.
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
Even though it was just the skeleton, somebody was scared. But then we realized: we were all scared. The forces of Hauptmann Gestapo were closing in, and Molly was really enjoying her Chinese Chop Suey. She was also learning how to use chopsticks.
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
She was right; the very air seems to be immersed in vaporized perfume. How can they taste all the gourmet food when there's body odor attempting to hide under copious perfume everywhere you turn?
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
Greg exclaimed as he ran to it. "It's out already!" But Xander said, " You know, I am getting hungry. Is there a restaurant around here anywhere?" And sure enough there was a Taco Bell right inside the store!
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
The fact is I cannot believe Bonnie started this story! But be that as it may, I will help continue it: And the second fact is that when I was growing up we did not call them farts.
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
I don't wanna got to Iraq! I'm scared!" the Sarge growled, "You're goin'! So pull yourself together and straighten up that posture, soldier! We want you to stand tall and proud.
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
"Pops doesn't sell chicken nuggets! Do we, guys?" He chuckled as he called over his shoulder to the crew.
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
They don't want orderly! They don't want work! Kids these days, they just want--errgkhh..." At that, the proctor had a massive heart attack and fell over, dead. I looked up at Max and said, "Do you know what this means?" "Yeah." Max replied. "ALL NIGHT FRAT PARTY!!!!!!!!!!" They don't want neat!
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
But there was no food left to be found, not even a bagel crumb, or a mashed pea, not even an infinitesimal speck of dust on my floors!" And if you let him sweep, then he'll want to shake the rugs outside. And if he goes outside, and doesn't take an umbrella he will probably be drowned in the torrential downpour.
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
We had seconds to get out of our car before you make it smell worse than it already does! Don't you ever get tired of going to the same place for vacation every year? This time, why don't you go to the creek and wade in the cold water? It will cool you off and you will feel much better.
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
Not to worry old chaps. I have a map in my attache case. I come prepared for anything! Why, in my back pocket I even have a map to a secret underground base, which is also underwater!"
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
Then we go directly to the reference section so we can look up Guinea Worms. We want to know all about them so we can write a report. This report must be written on the subject of underwater basket weaving. The professor was from the country of Mexico, from the country of India, from the country of China.
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
That is an excellent way to direct energy. Positive in through the nose, negative out through the chimney and up, up, the explosion launched debris 30 feet into the air. Bonnie immediately began stuffing more explosives into the fireplace and said "I feel less stressed already!
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
I was busy fainting from the horror. Oh... The Horror... The supervisor clapped me on the back as the cameras flashed; but I didn't notice. I was busy fainting from the horror.
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
Grandma rose early in the morning and drank her coffee while she listened to the rooster crowing. Then she put on her apron and started making biscuits.
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
Such is the power of the ULTIMATE NINJA. And again what is that POWER? It is the power of the universe! The power that enables the ULTIMATE NINJA to unleash hundreds if not thousands of punches and kicks upon any who opposed him.
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
Whatever you choose you must be willing to keep what you buy for at least a decade. Greg couldn't believe his jail sentence would be that long, but considering the number of his convictions, he knew he had jail time ahead.
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
Unfortunately, they were disappointed to find no atmosphere! Now what?!! "I guess we will have to get out those old-fashioned space suits. What bummer!" So they hurried to put on their Superman underwear, because it was as inspiring as nothing else is.
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
Sir Greg replied, "I think thou shouldst know that I am now a knight! No more slogging away in the hot wheat fields for me! Now I must needs go don my chain mail so patiently chained for me by Lady Man. Lady Man was known through the olde towne as a ravishing womanizer, and had gotten in trouble with one too many gladiators who had come from Rome to the countryside of England to train.
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
We are going to get this matter settled once and for all, said the judge as he beckoned Lord Elsington to even higher status within the SSBC: Secret Society of British Cats.
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
Podunk U.?!! Your degree must have been written with invisible ink!" He started to sit down, but then yelled again, " but still no luck. reply. This could only mean one thing, the subjects for the theses were all wrong! Gromit, they are all wrong!
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
Rubbing her sore shoulder, she asked the nearest patron "What does a girl have to do to get some service around here?!" Her manner frightened the man somewhat, so he stammered Woo Baby, I just wet my pants!
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
Oh, how he had suffered without them! Now, long gone would be the pain. How he remembered when he had broken his wrist playing badmitton with an orc.