Betty's Turn-Down Game

Welcome! (Login / Request an account) There are 170 stories in the system.

Please select a story to view:

Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
Hmmm... I think I would like some more lilacs, because they smell so good. I can plant them one by one all lining the sidewalk. When they bloom they will look as if they are marching, and when the neighbors see them, they will exclaim, "
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
Didn't they both come from the country of Upper Volta?? Boppy has stamps from there. It's now known as The Enforcer. Most other people would flee or cower in the face of such peril, but we could always count on him to fire up the grill!!
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
Look how much there is, we could eat all day!" I nearly gagged at the idea. "I'm not really hungry," I said, " 2 bites and I am full. However I will never turn down a big bowl of Whoop-Ass! You can set it right next to this bigger can of Whoop-Ass!"
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
We could not get out! we were getting so dizzy, and as a last resort we tried crawling on our hands and knees.
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
Don't they realize the dishwasher is broken and look at all these dirty dishes! Plus I have a bandaged hand because I cut myself with a rusty barbecue smoker borrowed from a neighbor. It would take at least 16 hours to lambaste the turkey....
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
he mentally mumbled to himself. motion across his neck. Unfortunately, he didn't understand that you're supposed to take a deep breath first. So when he tried to gather up the magnolia leaves, the tree started rustling,he looked up and an avalanche of leaves came tumbling down! He couldn't see!
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
taking a crap in my front yard? I work hard getting this grass just the way I like it, and now you're ruining it.
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
Plus a thick milkshake made with real ice cream and in addition a dollup of fairy dust. Yeah, like actual dust from a fairy, we couldn't believe it. A little dude with wings showed up with a handful of sparkly crap.
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
it must have been caused by faulty logic!" A collective gasp of shock was followed by stunned silence as everyone tried to understand how to keep 2 cats who used to be friends from absolutely screaming at each other.
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
And you know who else knows? Why of course: Thunderstorms' trainer, big brother, and Union Jack-adorned fellow wrestler, London Bridge. Bridge was the broadest of wrestlers in the league, and about twice as wide as a mere mortal.
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
Ah, man.. I will just go buy some new paper at the local Christmas wrap store. They had every kind you could think of, but I was really drawn to the sparkly tissue wrapping paper! That and the snowflake ribbons reminded me of when I met the real Santa years ago.
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
With that, everyone looked around to be sure nobody was watching when they dumped their camping garbage into the fast flowing river. Swollen from recent rains, it would be a good protection from big brown grizzly bears who roam around always looking for tasty wheat!
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
It looked like a wall of glimmering water. We stood there, looking at it, hesitating, until we decided to take a little bite. What a strange taste, like nothing we had ever had before. And the texture was very light, like gossamer.
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
I would end up calling the Alex Jones show from a hidden location, probably located a big pile of possum poop in a hidden corner. Yuck! Well at least it was all dried up and easy to sweep it into a dustpan and carefully dump it into the ditch by the road.
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
Maybe into shapes, like for instance the shape of a PAYCHECK!!!! hedge after hedge after hedge... Maybe into shapes, like for instance the shape of a PAYCHECK!!!! You know that would be the ultimate experience! hedge after hedge after hedge...
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
I couldn't imagine walking one more mile without at least a gallon of the stuff on hand, so I started scrounging around for old rags to wipe up the spilled lemonade and the big pool of melted popsicles.
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
A clean, clear smell of fresh mouse urine....ahhhh! Milo must be nearby! Maybe he is resting in a soft bowl of potpourri to freshen the air. Now all that's required to make everything perfect is celebrate good times, come on! Let's all celebrate and have a good time!
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
What to do?? They, to a man, all decided to rush the stage. It was pandemonium! Chairs were flying, fists were flying, and threats were splashed across the campus center walls with hot pink paint. We could not let visitors see them!
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
I walked across and peeked through the fence and saw himself! They had lined their entire property with mirrors! "How strange," I exclaimed, as I tried to climb over the fence, but scintillating disco balls blinded me and I couldn't continue!
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
Imagine our surprise when we looked out the window and we saw snowflakes floating down from the sky.
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
It can be hard to come up with a combination of pizza toppings that will please everyone in the group, but if you stick olives with toothpicks on the pizza, there could be tragic results...like wasting pizza!
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
The best thing to do is take a minute to evaluate the situation, then decide which size pizza to order, the giant 18-inch, or should we order the small instead of the large? You don't want to get stuck with too much time on our hands, we decided just to go shopping. First we went to Cosco and loaded up on lots of wood glue, posterboard, hammers, and nuclear material.
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
Do I need to attend a focus group? And if I did, who would be there?
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
Welcome to Engineering Country!Now proceed into the Student Center where you will be issued a tote bag full of water guns. The pool party should be fun!" Of course there will be a need for towels to wipe up the floor after the shaving cream fight! Of course Xander won because he had the best aim, and because he also had the best laundry hamper in the whole building, word got around and students were constantly knocking on his door to see it!
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
When we got there, a huge fog bank rolled in, and it looked really scary, so we waited until the sun went down. Then it was cooler because we switched the fan to counter-clockwise, and that made us feel sleepy. So we immediately went loco. Smashing chairs, flipping over tables, drinking liquor after drinking beer, queuing up Taylor Swift songs on the jukebox, it was complete bedlam.
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
They have always known about what pesticides were too dangerous to use.
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
What were you thinking?!! You know those men in your house don't want to wear pink underwear when I had to go to the locker room at the gym!
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
it was actually mighty spicy!! However, I must add more hot if I'm going to have a snowball fight, I need to build a fort! And I will build it out of lots of catnip and wine. What a day we had!! But Winter is almost over!!
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
So we packed the extra stuff into a priority box and sent it to Hell in a handbasket!
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
In fact, anyone could just walk in and easily help themselves to croissants, chocolate eclairs, and mugs of steaming beef stew. Ladelling out a serving, I went out on the patio and enjoyed a big bowl of roasted chili peppers.
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
I resolve to think before I speak and bite my tongue if I feel inclined to improve myself. First I took a personality test and I turned out to be an introvert.
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
What a great hiding place! After finding it I hid it again, but this time inside a really big box!
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
I think I will put it on the level ground. Last time, I situated my composter on a hill. I bet you can figure how that turned out. That's right. It turned over layer by layer as I rotated the barrel.
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
Surprised, she tried to scrape off the slimey skin but underneath she was shocked to find a handful of rare and fragrant Allegra roses! Leaning in close, she could see tiny maggots !
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
He roughly shoved me toward the edge of the precipice. Talk about getting ready to fall! Getting ready for falling? Thinking fast, I ran down the hill trying to stay ahead of the rolling pumpkin. I was hoping to catch it before it fell into the raging river down below. Unfortunately, just at the last second, I slipped in the mud and slid right into a big pile of manure.
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
band. I first heard about them when they appeared as my Wiki Word of the Day.
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
Angry and frustrated, I threw it into a tub of warm soapy water hoping I could soak out the blood. When I looked into the tub a few minutes later, much to my amazement I saw the tomato vine growing taller & taller right before my eyes!
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
Freshly cooked potatoes, chopped onions, pickle relish, and I stirred it all up with 3 big dollops of sour cream. Add to that some bacon bits, green onions, and some shredded cheese, now you've got the perfect Greg Pizza.
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
I am sitting on the front porch now watching for the app to close without losing my patience with it. Instead I decided to add a new game app. The name of it was Clash of the Terrible Twos. Unpredicatable, delightful, exhausting, outrageous and wonderful, the new ring tone was delightful.
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
Hey heeeeyyyyy sounds like someone is trying to be cool, but no one is cooler than the real Fonz. And his line is "Ayyyy." Boooooo Wooooo was that an excellent comeback or what?! Wheeee we said as we sailed down the waterslide straight into a big pool of water mixed with just enough corn starch to Eat.
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
Why me, you ask??? Because you didn't eat your Wheaties or drink your whole milk. No wonder you feel weak and you don't want to see me when I'm angry. A better course of action would be to slap him in the face! Then yell, "Don't you dare ever do anything for you ever again!
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
Before I could explain myself, the owner of the garden center rushed over, alarmed yet civil, and insisted that I present certification from the county that I had been approved to dig an artificial pond. Unperturbed, I instead presented him with the business end of my shovel, and I washed the dirt off with a scrubbrush and hot soapy water.
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
Mmmmmmmm! So good! Mmmmm. Mmmmmm gooood!!!! Sweat trickled down his leg and got on the beam, and when he took his next step, he closed his eyes and took the first bite. Mmmmmmmm! So good! Mmmmm. Mmmmmm gooood!!!! But he was nervous!
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
My dearest hope is that everyone will be responsible and keep their hands at the 9 o'clock and 3 o'clock positions on the steering wheel as they are driving their golf balls across the pitted rock dome, the sun started to set, and severe angst caused them to sit and have some pie and cookies.
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
Animals you could expect to see include Kangaroos and Koala Bears! They are so cute.
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
Those crazy kids need more medications for their birthdays! Each person gets to pick a teacher to go home with.....we pick Miss Bonnie!
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
When the crowd gets here, each person will be handed a bottle and with it they will proceed to decorate the room by sprinkling it everywhere: the carpet, the tables, the chairs were all covered with cat hair!
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
So what do you want? Do you want to take a trip to some exotic tropical island. Hmmm I think this destination would be a good choice: the unemployment line! My job sucks! I could scarcely do worse!" So the next morning try again. Every new day is a new chance to redeem all your failures of last year simply by giving yourself room to dream of the possibilities.
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
The wrapping paper I bought on Dec. 26....where was it??I found all of it in the back of the car. The first step is to acquire the presents.
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
Go next door and borrow a plumber's snake, the electric kind with lots of power! It's okay to rent those because they disinfect them with a substance called Liquid Nails which I bought online from a company named Tethys, after the Titaness of fresh water."
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
My favorite part about Christmas decorations is how the lights cheer up the dark winter nights. You'll be driving along and see millions of lights! They must be coming from Harbor Hills Drive! I put my car in first gear and turned onto the street and then what came toward me was a car with a Rudolph nose on the grill and antlers every where!
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
There's no time to climb down! Just jump! As soon as you get your balance, you can play Pac-Man with your feet !
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
I bet you traveled on a expired visa! Bad boy! Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? I'm talking about the ICE, of course, and they don't have space suits safe enough to last over 6 months on Mars.
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
Not only would we sell lemonade, but we could also sell bags of ice. You know people really need those for seeing underwater. And if they get fogged up, you can clean them with spit.
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
I handed them to the nurse, but she shook her head and said, " Oh my!!! What a garbled mess this has become!!!
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
There was no way to get out! I looked and looked for the EXIT sign, but all I saw was a blur. It never occurred to me to just tell the guy in front of me to turn off his cell phone screen.
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
Humvees, trucks, tanks on trailers, and even a snail could have gone around the block faster than that turtle which was stampeding through peanut butter.
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
A nice, hot cup of tea, flavored with garlic. I thought, "That doesn't sound good for breakfast."
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
Get on him, before he prepared the meal. Good hygiene is always optional when skydiving. It's not like anyone can smell you at 10,000 feet! But by the time you finish your last task, you have run out of time and lost all your money causing you to giggle with delight. You know it's the little things in life that really matter, so go ahead and get an associate's degree in plumbing.
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
Some like it hot, some like it cold, some like it in the pot ten days old.
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
We went to the dealership, looked into the showroom, and we saw a brand spanking new Interstellar G9X Ion-Charged Singularity Accelerator.
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
Heck, I'll order some onion rings too. And for dessert, we wanted Royal Crown Colas and Moon Pies !! How delicious! But things don't always taste the way we remember them.... This time the Moon Pies tasted like sea urchin soup, straight from the set of "Iron Chef"!
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
Hah!" But it so happens that actually works out better, because Waffle House is open 24 hours!
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
Those hobbitses are always stealing from us. Those nasty little roaches were everywhere!
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
He had a bad habit of eating too much pizza before I go to bed... Then you know what happens! I have to poop! But the only way to get to town to go shopping was to hitchhike!
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
Now I'll never have to hunt for a tool again! Because now there is a place for everything and everything is in its final stages. There was no time for making pizza. We are running out of time! We want to get all this cleaned up and haul all the junk to the Gloucester Short Lane ice cream parlor, where we ate so much we could barely fit in our newly-reorganized garage.
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
If you want to have a proper Tennessee smooth-sippin' holiday that's the only way." "NO WAY!" I retorted. "I don't want the malls to close until midnight! Because then I will have time to start shopping for Groundhog Day!!!!!!!!!!" If you make one false move, I will take care of you by spiking the Christmas punch bowl with Jack Daniels!
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
The zombie lumbered off and I knew I had to beef up my defenses in a big way. So I added a whole line of new models of subcompacts. They're inexpensive, have great fuel economy, and just as importantly you must have lots of sunflowers.
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
We put them just where they belonged: in your face, boy!! IN YOUR FACE!! HAHAHAHA!!!!
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
It was then we realized our next stop had to be a chinese restaurant. because big drops of sweat were pouring down my face.
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
It was a backbreaking job, so we took a break so that we could go to Chuck E. Cheese and eat lots of crap pizza and drink cheap beer.
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
Rhonda exclaimed, "While you're in there, why don't you get me a metal prod so I can get behind the eyeball and repair the side of my car that the guy smashed into when he was trying to park, cuz he couldn't see worth a darn."
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
Vahzilok, or maybe the Council's attempts to try jumping over tall buildings was exceedingly successful, plus those mean old Outcasts failed to stop the arch-villain before his master plan was unveiled!
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
I was so mad! I jumped off the building right into the middle of 5 contaminated thugs who began pummeling the Playstation in frustration.
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
It had been neglected for far too long and as I rolled up my sleeves, I resolved to do something about it! It was just past the crack of dawn when I noticed a bunch of slimy slugs eating away at my petunias.
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
I was way too busy to mess with them. that every day I need to load Oblivion and do some more killin'. More killin' means more XP and loot, which I'll need in order to keep the cats off the floor I built a neat wooden dining table complete with a covering of Chee-tohs dust. No geek worth his salt would be caught dead without that telltale orange tint on his fingertips.
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
There just isn't as much money in moving moonshine across state lines like there used to be.
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
This bold statement caused a huge increase in his medical malpractice insurance premiums. He may have to terminate his membership at the country club. Or sell one of his beamers. Or he could always try to throw up in the bedpan.
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
When he heard the news, he fell forward on his desk forgetting that right in front of his face was his leftover lunch, a big bowl of candies for visitors to help themselves to.
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
So I turned around and I rushed toward the massive oak tree in order to hide behind it. They wouldn't see me here. I peeked around and suddenly saw that someone was peeking back at me! It was none other than Mr. T, leaning out the window of his 1982 GMC van, yelling, "Get out of the road, sucka!"
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
Shocked, he picked his beret out of the muddy gutter, shook it off and put it on his resume. This will surely impress them! They'll be so impressed they will spew! Just kidding, of course, but who knows, you may end up in Swaziland, in a dark jungle, surrounded by insipid but angry Frenchmen frothing epithets at us proudly patriotic Americans.
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
Take one down, and pass it around, ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer! Where are they coming from??
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
My baby!" We came running and saw many tentacles creeping out of the hatch, and they were reaching for a rope to pull themselves out before the Lazor Beam Hydra returned!!!!!!!!
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
he howled, and the audience began to shuffle their feet with boredom.
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
I sure didn't want to end up there! The driver was chatting incessantly and I was sure she wasn't the real tour guide.
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
But before we got there, we stopped at Starbucks to get revved up.
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
Bill exclaimed. the customer replied smugly. "It's legal tender. See? It says right here: "This product may contain peanuts and for those persons with allergies, it may cause severe difficulty in operating a vehicle or other heavy equipment!"
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
When the first group saw them, they gasped "What big pumpkins!" They must weigh at least 100 pounds! We could only use them for smashing into peoples' front doors when they had sucky Halloween candy. Why, just last year, we brought home enough pumpkins to make lots of pies.
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
Because clothes make the man. That's why I wear dorky clothes and spike my hair with glittery gel. Who knows? I might be spotted by the next agency of the Redundancy Department of Redundancy.
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
She smiled sweetly and pushed the button that sent them all hurtling into a black hole.
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
Well, they sure didn't have any computers, because who knows what germs are lurking on the keyboard left over from the last class?!!
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
Very carefully, Kent lifted the phone to his ear. he said cautiously.
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
You know eating prunes will always cause them to cooperate because they want to buy combat boots in order to have enough traction to navigate the poop-slimed floor.
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
There's no way I am going to invite those idiots to my birthday party so they can eat all my gourmet pastries were sitting on the counter, and I reached for the mop to bang on the ceiling. Suddenly it occurred to me that I could hook up my Mega-Blaster speakers and aim them next door!
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
Well, safer, anyway. There's no telling what we will do if we start down that mountain and our brakes give out!
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
The pavement started to get sticky, and that made the tires start to melt. I panicked at first until I learned my suit was really fireproof.
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
All it takes is some education, some motivation, and some creativity, and we'll all have good water for many generations to come. It might surprise you how much water you use just taking a shower.
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
Then I can pick out veggies that have the lowest number of meals per day. It's good to keep track of the total number of inches lost around the waist.
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
Dawn was breaking. Soon the hordes would be here. I was a little nervous, because this was my very first yard sale. I ate a quick breakfast of hot lava. We had the yard sale near an active volcano and called it a firesale. So when we advertised it, we exaggerated a little bit to get more people to show up.
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
Imagine seeing him again, here, after all these years! It sure is a small fire button! Let's see what happens if I push it! Whoa Nellie! That's looks like a squadron of Russian MiGs attempting to intercept my vector!
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
I stored them neatly stacked next to all my old LP's. Too bad some of them were warped from the heat in the attic. But I could always give them to my friend, ________ Raul. He'll know what to do. I hope we never run out of pencil sharpeners because if we do, we will have to hire a bodyguard!"
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
Well, I didn't see what the big deal was. After all, I was healthy as a horse! Why, just the other day I thought I felt a lump there, so it's a relief to find out that the rash would only last for a few more weeks and would clear up once I started eating more liver and spinach, as prescribed by the doctor.
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
So to save floor space, you could try cement ing your mouth shut and let me do the thinking, OK? Now it should be simple to fix. All I have to do is take all this extra cat litter and put it in the display case at the local Pet Store.
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
uh oh, I'm all out. That's OK, because we bought extra rolls just in case. Try to line up the red hexagons so they match. This has to be done very carefully! If you don't do it correctly, you will have me to deal with!"
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
Come on, we're almost finished! Just a few more nails into the roof shingles and we will be sure to use the right tool this time. As we've found out, it's well worth the expense in order to avoid the old nests of mice and rats between the walls, we decided to install a urinal in every bathroom!
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
Now please repeat your name very slowly. Because I have short-term memory loss, you may even have to punch the button repeatedly to make it work, okay?"
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
I think we are going to have a very bumpy landing! Be sure to tell all the passengers to please consider us the next time they're making travel plans. It's important for you to remember that each passenger stepped carefully over the puddles of puke and gladly walked down the metal stairway into the fresh air of Tarmac City, U.S.A.
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
So bring on the orcs! I'm not afraid of them! Bring on ogres, giants, even dragons, they won't stop me! Because I'm Mr. Moneybags, and I want more of your money; so invest in my new scheme or I will promptly sign your autograph with an elaborate flourish.
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
To really improve tings feel free to add garlic -- 4 or 5 cloves. And to top it all off, all the lights went out just as we started to feel panic creep in, a lone voice called out from the darkness: "Pizza's here!" We all breathed a collective sigh of relief and proceeded to dig in.
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
It's like the heartbeat of the spirit, man. It's the soundtrack of life. You gotta have a belt with those pants if you don't want to be holding them up all day! You'll see what I mean after you blow your nose a few times. I know you will sound like a foghorn, and that will mean that you will need to put some totally awesome detailing on your car.
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
He, with furrowed brow, and she, petulant, continued to argue over which was the best sweetener. He liked good ol' cane sugar, while she preferred tea to coffee, it was good to try something new for a change, so she ordered a lemon cookie with her tea.
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
I put it there myself!" I was completely flabbergasted! I had lost my third game of shuffleboard! What to do? I think I should sit out the next one and work out a new lodging arrangement. and chuckled nervously. Our best course of action was to put on life jackets right away and line up next to the lady in the fancy hat.
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
The wrecked semi was blocking traffic. "Quick! You stop traffic while I wash this man's windshield! He will surely reward me with a big wad of toilet paper stuck in my butt, I look just like a bunny rabbit!
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
I gave them to Xander and Ethan to throw away. They enthusiastically ran outside and threw them into the washing machine! "Out with the bad (dirt), in with the good (smell)!" She shouted, to no one in particular. Next, she declared she would eat more chocolate than ever before.
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
First they played some oldies like Mighty Mouse and Mickey Mouse. Then the network switched over to the ads, which are even louder and more frenetic than the shows!
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
It's up to us to determine which way the world goes. With the intelligence we gain, not so good...That is the question.
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
Once the weather got really hot them Yankee-land touristers might come hunting for your A/C, and you gotta be prepared. We loaded up on sunscreen and popsicles, and took off!
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
And it's no wonder: the workers behind the counter looked as if they had been shopping for three days straight! "Ladies! You look exhausted!" The salesman crooned.
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
She has the look we want. She must weigh close to 350 pounds. But that's OK. that's right... Perfect! She's a door. The next girl can pose on this poof chair. It is shaped like a high-heeled shoe. How mod! I wonder who thought up that idea. It must have been Mr. Fleschmarkt who authorized that!
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
in which case jelly doughnuts will be your best bet. Of course everyone knows in addition to trays of sugary pastries, you should add bountiful numbers of rose petals to your bath! That will help you smile and feel so special! That's such a relaxing and beautiful big pouffy couch. Come and sit on it, and you will feel the stress leave your body quickly.
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
Who's up for some Mickie D's?" There was a long, tense silence, until finally someone said, "Well, I'm hungry. Who's up for some Mickie D's?" And yet, here are the little yellow wrappers!" There was a long, tense silence, until finally someone said, "Well, I'm hungry. Who's up for some Mickie D's?"
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
Tumbling down the chute came a big load of bricks! Yikes! Get out of the way! We scrambled in a hurry and landed on big pile of garden hoses!
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
Eat quickly, and that saltine cracker will be gone before you know it. Now you may eat one Goldfish cracker. Next, eat some ice cream. This should remind you of the pleasure of eating.
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
We could use that for the windows, the furniture, and the whole enchilada really did fit on the makeshift picnic table.
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
I bounced off two walls and the ceiling, appearing as no more than a black ghost before I landed the blows, methodically right between the eyes, whirled around and thrust a powerful kick right into his solar plexus!
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
I bet I could sell them on E-Bay for at least a hundred hours. At the conclusion of it all, we were exhausted and hungry. So we went to the front of the line to show our voter cards. banner. It was sad, in a way, since everyone knew that chewing gum really does stick to the bottoms of desks and stays there forever.
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
He soon heard that Spot next door was wearing a flea collar. What a wimp. Barrister has no use for such "jewelry". Maybe he should just walk over and slap around the intruder! The alarm passed quickly and we swarmed all over the invader of our nest, biting and stinging with abandon. When it was over, Barrister lay there panting.
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
Then we took both ends and twisted them into mangled balls of metal. The giant robot then kicked them out of his way, like soccer balls made of tin foil.
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
Mom! Help me!" He was dangling from a precarious precipice with a scant hand hold. There wasn't much time to waste. They were going to be late! How could she get her toddler to hurry?
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
Who knows how long that had been there! "That's disgusting!" I said. "We're going to need some industrial-strength cleaner! Russell used some when he worked at Busch; let's call him."
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
Me prove it! Me dumb. Me stupid. Me go the wrong way on a one-way street. Me knock you into the middle of the walls of the building across the alleyway!" Luckily no one was eating at the time. The smell was horrific. Everyone made a dive for the only door. Unfortunately in their path was a deep hole from where the truck had landed.
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
At first, I'd thought I'd died and gone to heaven. The Plutonium Transporters of America! They were famous for gigantic fund-raising fairs. In order to have lots of crafts to sell, they spent all year collecting all sorts of proof that the teachers weren't doing ther job.
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
Then I grabbed a ticket to go see the biggest cow on the planet. When I peeped through the fence at it, it looked like a NINJA! she said, " I did too pay for my last Ferris wheel ride. Look, I have the ticket stub right here, next to my prize-winning apple pie.
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
Thus Spoke Zoroaster", from "2001: A Space Odyssey". And then, it was time for an ad. A man appeared holding a microphone in the face of John Kerry so close that his nose was almost all the way to the back of his head!
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
Unless you want to die early! Add oat bran to your oatmeal! Add it to your yogurt!
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
Good for the immune system! Good for your mood! It's even good for fryin' up that armadillo you done run right over with your dang ol' truck. We scraped it up off the road, and put it in a tortilla! Everything tastes good in a tortilla! Meat, eggs, cheese, even chopped veggies mixed with ranch dressing, peanut butter, honey, butter, and more peanut butter.
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
We lowered the volume just in time before the other dancer jumps over you. The idea is to create the picture of water with the water birds in it.
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
We turned a corner and tripped over a string somebody had stretched along near the floor! "Why would somebody put that there?" I grumbled as I tried my best not to throw up. It wasn't easy I can tell you. I pursed my lips and grimaced and I then proceeded to back up.
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
and there they are! Waiting for us....all squeaky clean and shining with colorful beads! It was just what I was looking for! It was so beautiful I couldn't take my eyes off it! The merchant told me this was the last day he would be open. Before I could say another word, the air shimmered around us and a transdimensional vortex appeared in mid-air, sucking the entire bazaar into oblivion before my very eyes!
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
It will be so cool to see from above the blackened scars in South America caused by the burning of the rain forests. Then we'll go to the Amazon River and see how much Avon we can sell to the natives. I hear they pay for their orders with bags of gold dust! Who knows? We might even end up with hemmorhoids so bad we won't even be able to sit down.
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
You ask me, and I will tell you. Yes, I am the suspect. But I assure you I didn't do it. Please note how cooperative I'm being. Ask me anything. Because I'll have an answer for you. It may not be the answer you want to hear, but it'll be too bad if we don't get these filthy jail cells cleaned out.
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
He does that whenever the pigs and hogs won't share their slop. What a mess they make! Well, here's another bucket of swill for them...Splash! And I think I will also add some corn to the pig's food.
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
Just then, a T-Rex ran up and ate him! Two days later we found a pile of John Kerry T-Rex poop outside our hut.
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
Especially if your own son is a pothead!! No, better yet dig it up with a little watering, fertilizing, and TLC, your garden will soon be overflowing with marijuana plants, and then you can make some REAL cashola!
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
she slurred with anger. "WHERE'S MY LUNCH!" Just then, Weldon appeared with a Rally's bag in each hand, giggling. Weldon, that is, not the Rally's bags.
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
Just one look at the M-60 machine gun she had slung easily over her shoulder and they knew she meant business.
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
When we walked through the great doors, everything was very quiet. The huge stained glass windows glowed from the sunshine outside. In the far corner we spotted a group of But enough about that. We hadn't been to a museum yet so we jumped up and headed for the closest Starbucks.
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
The ones that turn into a robot and then into a jet plane and then into the Toy Department again to see if anything was missing from the shelves. YES! There in the space where the Spiderman costumes used to be were stacked piles of DVDs of Return of the King, Platinum Series Edition.
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
"You have sissy farts! You are a sissy! You are a sissy!" When they heard us say that, they immediately began farting in unison.
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
What I couldn't understand was why we never got to sleep more than 5 hours at a time. Everyone was totally exhausted and very irritable.
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
Here, rinse it off with this sprayer. NOT AT ME! Aim it that way!" Quickly, I retrieved the wiggling hose and finished cleaning up. Nervously, I looked up at him to see the whole congregation of Lighthouse Worship Center walk through the door right behind him.
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
Ha ha ho ho." At this, we slowly backed out of the room and ran lickety split down the hall yelling our lungs out, "Help! Help! We need help!" Hearing our calls, suddenly out of the dean's office appeared a lovely young woman. From her shiny blonde hair to her pretty face, impeccable spring pastel suit and pristine, stylish shoes, she was the picture of confident perfection.
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
If you give a mouse a cookie, he's probably going to want some milk to go with it, and if you give him some milk, he may think he's a cat.
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
I don't think I want to go down that again! It scared me too much and when I got to the bottom, I hit a Honda Civic! But since I was in a Hummer, i just kind of rolled over him and kept on going."
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
In case it rains. And that's ALL I NEED! And this chair. And that's ALL I NEED. And this dead battery. And this rock. And this lawn chair. And that's ALL I NEED!" People began to stare at him because he had a pale green luminescence about him. He looked down at his hands. Green! What had happened?!
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
Everyone brought their posters for the big Super Readout Day. And they set up a display on the lawn outside the library. But the weather report was not so good, so when they looked up into the sky they saw not only the police helicopters arriving in the distance as reinforcements, but also the vultures had already started circling.
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
If we could all just CALM DOWN! Everyone please take one down, pass it around, 99 bottles of beer on the wall! (giggle!)" About an hour later we were all too drunk to stand up, but we sure weren't stressed anymore.
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
Who in the world let that happen?! The early morning drive-thru lane was already backing up.
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
Eating these every day will make you feel like a million bucks! This will pep you up: a nice hot cup of hot tea! What in the world else would a Grandma have at the end of a long day........or at the beginning of a short one?! But before she could drink it, she had to add a spoonful of honey and a little squirt of diarrhea, and she knew she should haven't eaten that greasy platter of fries and fried chicken with extra grease.
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
Time was running out. He knew he must write his will, so to Jackie Chan he would leave his collection of gemstones in his secret hiding place. No one would ever think to challenge my power again. They had thought to feast upon me, but they were fed only wrath. It left them with a taste they shall never forget.
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
And no one seems to know why! One theory is that blue chip stocks are always a recommended buy.
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
Who will draw the long straw to be in it? Who will excape the seething blubbery morass of stinking foul alien green cards.
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
They came in groups of 100, building arenas in which to fight. Their living quarters were made out of popscicle sticks, painstakingly glued together, then painted with multicolor butterflies swarmed through his brain.
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
Desperate he spoke directly to the jury, and he said with tearful eyes, " I really, really, really want to watch a kids' show!
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
Standing in front of the new freshman class, the professor briefly studied each face. On some he saw expectation, on others he saw apprehension. But on one particular face he saw himself! The similarity was remarkable! The eyes, the nose, even the way he parted his hair.
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
So when she walked into the coffee shop, she immediately put down her heavy backpack. Rubbing her sore shoulder, she asked the nearest patron "What does a girl have to do to get some service around here?!" Her manner frightened the man somewhat, so he stammered Woo Baby, I just wet my pants!
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
They would never be poor again! And the first thing they decided to buy was a life insurance policy, because they knew they would not live forever.