Betty's Turn-Down Game

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Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
Let's go ride it! We can see the whole countryside and we can see all the people in the truck stop, staring at the calendar, realizing it's only a few days before Summer!
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
Most other people would flee or cower in the face of such peril, but we could always count on him to fire up the grill!!
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
"I'm not really hungry," I said, " 2 bites and I am full. However I will never turn down a big bowl of Whoop-Ass! You can set it right next to this bigger can of Whoop-Ass!" Some distance away, a browsing elk suddenly lifted his head.
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
The most suspicious aspect of the whole thing was how many armed guards we saw. For some reason, security had been increased overnight by a factor of 10.
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
We started looking for the giblets. You boil those separately. They make good broth. Once you're sure you have them all, put them in your mouth. Let's quit beating around the bush here, we're all hungry. I don't care how many steps on the recipe are left, I'm wasting away here.
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
This is a private beach. No one invited you to this quilting meeting. Scram." The old ladies chuckled, ash sprinkling from the tips of their cigars.
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
I looked at the waiter and exclaimed, " What is wrong with you people?!" Two days is too long to spend driving. It wears you out and subtracts the pleasure from a trip. What you should do along the way is schedule a good amount of trolling. 3am is OK, but most people are asleep.
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
Even worse, this an enemy they had never seen before; they swarmed over the horizon, rising to block the sun, the chattering of their thousands of quadcopter blades unmistakable even though they were still miles away.
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
Maybe catnip would help. So I made a catnip tea and put out 2 bowls of it. After drinking their fill...woohoo! they then proceeded to let loose a tremendous battle cry, striking fear into the hearts of their enemies.
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
And now you know why this IHOP menu is framed and hanging on the wall. A bit of a lunkhead friend, though, considering when I asked him to give us an autograph, he grabbed the nearest thing to do it on. And now you know why this IHOP menu is framed and hanging on the wall.
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
The jig was up, mate! We confronted him with rolls of ribbon, sheaths of tissue paper, and a carton of ribbons. If you don't have your ribbons neatly wrapped on spools, at least don't rest anything heavy on them to crush them. In advance of your gift-wrapping day, make a list of who gave what so I could send them a thank you note.
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
It's a long way from here, so we'd better get started!" With that, everyone looked around to be sure nobody was watching when they dumped their camping garbage into the fast flowing river. Swollen from recent rains, it would be a good protection from big brown grizzly bears who roam around always looking for tasty wheat!
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
Having trudged for miles upon miles through untamed wilderness, they at last collapsed as they reached the final step of their journey.
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
It's a good thing I went through it or I would have missed finding all those old plastic machine guns. Man! What a find! I think they should be displayed in the Alamo gift shop! Right next to all the boxes full of stuff ready to donate to the thrift store!
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
Hmmm. Well, it did not matter because the power had gone out and it did not work anyway. I just hoped they knew how to fill out an unemployment form, because at the rate they're going, they're going to need to! In the last hour they emptied the cash registers into special bank bags and took them all to task on proper upsale technique.
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
Ohhh, poor little thing! All alone! All it needs is a nice sunny spot and some rain now and then!
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
Yes, ...it had to be done..argh. Coming home from Texas I opened up the cabinet door under the sink, and saw a cat. "Perfect!" I thought.
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
Who knew what would show up? We might even see a protest by a bunch of liberal snowflakes demanding safe spaces to protect themselves from being offended.
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
I don't want no yankee syrup. I may as well have this with a side of socialism and a hot mug of Bernie Sanders Uber Alles. Give me a bottle of Mrs. of A!" She then pounded the table for emphasis, causing all the stray animals to congregate in Bonnie's back yard.
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
I get instead a blast of the past. It's 80s music everywhere! It reminds of all the times that I ever wanted more in my whole life. Surely someone would figure out that what I really wanted was a simple joy. And isn't that part of the fabric of life? Letting yourself just enjoy all the simple things is life are so valuable.
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
We just need to pay more attention to the-- Sometimes I get bored of using the same pizza toppings every time.
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
No one could argue with that. They all leaned way back in their easy chairs and took a nap! BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!!" No one could argue with that.
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
Other than that, who would be there? Maybe some hopeful whiners and a few frowning judges. It's always a boost to the self-confidence when the person in charge starts ranting and raving, maybe someone needs to pour on his head a bucket of vomit!
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
There's literally a party going on in the hall outside my door!" He hadn't even realized it, though, because he had not taken a shower in so long!
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
Look at that big dent! Why, it is as big as a polar bear! Or as big as they were before they let all the water out of the pool, they decided to wash the dog, so they soaped him up and then poured over him a bucket of chum in the backseat."
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
The result is a very useful mulch. Put all of it in the back of the truck and take it to the dump! And while you are there, make sure you pick up some latticework or fishing line because as the vine grows, it wraps around everything in its path and starts choking the other plants when then in desperation they start to prune it, they don't know such actions are misguided.
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
One end we could wrap around the big pine tree, and the other end we could tie to the neck of an ISIS terrorist! Hahaha! Actually, I meant the the white clothes should be separated from the red, but I forgot and washed them together! When I took them out of the washer, they were all the color of a cloudy winter sky.
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
But Winter is almost over!! In just a few days, we went home.
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
You look like you are carrying a Beretta PX4 Storm Compact 9mm! With its comfortable grip and good balance and accuracy, this pistol would be a good choice for wearing on the plane. Remember it gets cold on the plane, so you would probably need to holster it." With that, he turned on his heel and and phoned for the men in white to bring a strait jacket.
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
It must have weighed two pounds. It almost covered the plate! Next to it was a plastic pot containing a pitiful plant, nearly dead from lack of internet service. When will it come back on?? I am so bored!! I might as well take a nap. It's cold & cloudy today, so I am going to find my fur gloves and my fur hat, and put them on my dresser next to my collection of Birkenstocks and in fact, they were taking up so much floor space, that I had to rearrange a few things so that it would boil and roil and steam was rising rapidly.
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
Confronted with a mob of irritated neighbors, I ran back into the house and packed! I was ready to start my new life! Perfectly pressed and tailored, it did wonders for my mood, and I felt so happy and confident, I called up all my friends and invited them over for a little thing we like to call an "Intervention."
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
If you can't sing at least the first verse of Folsom Prison Blues, you'll get kicked out of the 4-H Club faster than you can say " Merry Christmas!" Or you can say, " Pay for it with my Discover Dollars!! Woo hoo!!" It's like free money!! and who would that be?
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
Over time, the bugs, the beetles, and the worms digested the compost, and quietly turned it into rich soil. People pay good money for manure and peat, so why not compost too?
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
Aaahhh! and proceeded to have a coughing fit that lasted for approximately 20 seconds. Then everything continued as before, except, curiously, one boy on a skateboard crashed through the Deli's plate glass window and he landed in the bin of expired fruit.
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
He was mad as hell, and wasn't going to take a long time to get through all that!
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
An agent of change, a giant of his generation, a real genius, the General led by example: a true gem. All he had to do was gesture and we got the gist.
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
But then I spied flying across the full moon, a big hulking tomato like I had never seen! I couldn't believe my eyes!
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
Then through a little crack in the sugary glaze I saw several disgusting guests on late-night talk shows. They were rude, slovenly, and told rambling, barely-coherent stories about parasites.
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
So I started taking classes on business at the local community college. I also took my time thinking up a good password. too smart for me" !! I just gave up and started playing Soda Crush. A relaxing game that makes me feel insecure. The only thing that could settle my nerves now would be if I could take some time to remove all the apps I don't like.
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
Boooooo Wooooo was that an excellent comeback or what?! Wheeee we said as we sailed down the waterslide straight into a big pool of water mixed with just enough corn starch to Eat. Whaaaaat are you saying?
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
I'm tired of people wasting time watching stupid reality shows.. Give me a break! Isn't real life reality enough? Instead they should think how they would feel in that situation. Only then can a person really have the courage to stand up before an audience and give a rallying speech.
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
Disappointed and frustrated, I determined that the cosine of a right angle is equal to the length of the adjacent line divided by the hypotenuse.
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
Decorating is the part that's the most fun. Be creative! You can use sprinkles, candy, curls of chocolate...even tiny toys or other unusual options such as little Hulk faces made of butter and green-colored strips of bacon, ground-up meatballs, and garnished with chicken wings.
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
Red clothes will set it off so, be sure to take the time to look around and enjoy the scenery. You will see gigantic rocks like you have never seen before! I nudged up against one, and it started to move toward a shady spot under a rock.
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
It was so hot! It made me want to go to San Antonio, Texas to visit Bonnie, Chad, Xander, Ethan, and their dog named all the cats in the neighborhood: "Stinky", "Spazzy", "Sissy McWeepington", "Sir Pukesalot", etc.
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
First, you have to be sure the correct worksheets are in each cubby hole with the kid's name labeled above. I reached into the back of one of the cubby holes and found a mistake!" Well, she knew she never wanted the children to go hungry, so if anyone forgot his or her snack, I would gladly give him or her part of my granola bar.
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
Carpe Noctem !" So we worked through the night putting the final touches on the family portrait. If only everyone would stand still! If only I had remembered all the eggnog was gone! Why is the eggnog always gone? Why is the New Year's number always depicted as novelty eyeglasses? Or as the famous Latin phrase puts it: "
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
And now you know how to make your neighbors your best friends for life !Just walk over, knock on their door and with great enthusiasm, say, " I knew I could do it!" Just make sure you stop at the first sign of feeling faint. And now you know how to make your neighbors your best friends for life !Just walk over, knock on their door and with great enthusiasm, say, "
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
26....where was it??I found all of it in the back of the car. The first step is to acquire the presents. Second, you have to get someone to put their finger in the middle of a bow, so you can pull out just as much as you need. Next, take the scissors and curl the ribbon.
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
As they jumped into the pool, the spray stung my eyes and my nose! Blind and coughing, I flailed around, reaching for the plunger, I gritted my teeth, closed my eyes, and put all my strength into crushing the walnuts with my bare hands....
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
"HaHa! That's great!" I said, " Now I know my electric bill will go up!" I was kidding of course, but I knew now the county would surely waive the rule about no inflatables taller than 40 feet! Some people think they are dead! But they're just acting. They're just lying there waiting to be strung from shrub to shrub.
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
So I sprayed the room with a can of Whoop-Ass! When everyone saw me opening it, they knew they were in dire straits when they entered the cave and deep within they saw a tumor! "That thing is enormous!" The doctor yelled. "We have to operate now!
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
I figured that third choice made perfect sense because he had just eaten a loaf of bread the size of his head.
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
It boasted a supersize Beefsteak tomato that must have weighed 10 pounds each.
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
I wondered how it had gotten in there. How it had gotten in there. Poop. I wondered how it had gotten in there. How it had gotten in there I'll never know. Anyone with half a brain should know better than to listen to loud rap music while playing such an intense video game!
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
I ran so far I got lost. I didn't care, I was finally able to lift my shoes from the sticky coke residue on the floor, and I put them on top of the stack of 16mm movie reels that I stole from the projection room when nobody was looking! "Bwahahaha!" I cackled gleefully.
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
Fortunately, I landed on my feet on a big pile of money. I said "Gimme that money!" But he said, You are under arrest! Face down on the ground! Put your hands behind your back stalked a ninja! He was there the ENTIRE TIME! When I realized that, I began to run as fast as I could to get home.
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
Smell that? It's napalm. In the morning. I LOVE IT! It smells like victory and then, when you least expect to find roly poly bugs in the flower pots. One must get rid of them by voting for the Republican candidate! Do you want more freedom? Want a return to the moral, family values that made this country great?
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
The remedy for that is to be totally relaxed, have warm socks on your feet, and be ready to tackle the quarterback! Hut one, hut two, there he goes! Quick!! Get on him, before he prepared the meal. Good hygiene is always optional when skydiving. It's not like anyone can smell you at 10,000 feet!
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
She went to the cobbler and moved into a pie full of four-and-twenty blackbirds. All I can say is, I don't know what someone plans to do with all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't fall asleep.
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
We went to the dealership, looked into the showroom, and we saw a brand spanking new Interstellar G9X Ion-Charged Singularity Accelerator.
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
That's why he put all his underwear into zip-lock bags. Nobody wants strangers pawing through his underwear drawer.
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
Hah!" But it so happens that actually works out better, because Waffle House is open 24 hours!
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
Gasp! He had to get out! He had to order pizza to be delivered to the lab and the toppings were a choice from four: The four edible choices were BBQ beef brisket, chicken tetrazini, grilled salmon, or a Popburger. So of course I chose to close the lab for good. Surely there must be a better profession for me, like the job I just saw advertized in the classified: "Private lab time needed immediately for sensitive experiments.
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
It was as easy as pie to pick out a bunch of gifts to be sent to his room for being such a bad boy. He had a bad habit of eating too much pizza before I go to bed... Then you know what happens! I have to poop! But the only way to get to town to go shopping was to hitchhike!
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
That's a good egg. Now also watch out for jugs of dirty car oil, because if you were to accidentally kick one over, your foot would probably end up kicking the butt of somebody who just wandered into your garage and started messing everything up.
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
Because then I will have time to start shopping for Groundhog Day!!!!!!!!!!" "I don't want the malls to close until midnight! Because then I will have time to start shopping for Groundhog Day!!!!!!!!!!"
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
Help me reload my shotgun! That dern zombie took a chunk out of my arm and I can barely keep my eyelids open! The reason must be that I ate too much brains! I don't have any room left for you." The zombie lumbered off and I knew I had to beef up my defenses in a big way.
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
The best teachers for this activity are female ! But that's OK! As a male, I know how to get things done. And the first thing to do is play a few missions in City Of Heroes just to get your blood flowing. The next thing to do would be have a fire sale! Anything that didn't get sold would become kindling for the bonfire that would be against my better judgment to put the white underwear into the same drawer as the colored butterflies streamed through the sewer line so fast that everyone thought, "
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
That way they would never suspect that the next place I put the hat would be like crushing prunes into stewed okra. Things would really move along then! Why you might not even have time to check under the car, behind the seats, and in the glovebox.
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
Maybe one day they'll learn to stop fighting over who got to choose the ice cream flavor. Well we finally got it all settled and the choice was Swirled Tempest of Flaming Death, the trademark attack of the zombie ninjas of Mars.
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
Despite the title, the album doesn't have anything to do with eyes or vision, unlike another one of Michael's albums, titled "Visions of broken blood veins and serrated mucous membranes."
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
And before they could catch their breath, a pile of hydras lumbered up to a million influence. Cool! and by then my hand was so sore from playing City of Heroes I had to take a break! What a revolting development! And before they could catch their breath, a pile of hydras lumbered up to a million influence.
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
What a relief! Then the next day I am ready to open fire with my thermonuclear missile pack. I activated the targeting mechanism, punched in the coordinates, and pushed the escape button over and over to no avail.
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
My garden was in sad shape. It had been neglected for far too long and as I rolled up my sleeves, I resolved to do something about it! It was just past the crack of dawn when I noticed a bunch of slimy slugs eating away at my petunias.
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
With that junk out of the way, I was able to start moving furniture around so it made more sense. I moved the work table next to the cat food which was really starting to stink!
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
He never finished his sentence, however, because that biggy size hot chocolate just spilled in his lap! He swiftly landed in full view of the spectators that had gathered to watch the race! They cheered, they waved, and they put the pedal to the metal and zoomed past the hidden radar.
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
I want every intern to pay attention here. Watch me make this incision, and I don't want anybody to cry when I'm gone. I've lived a long, full life and don't have any regrets.
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
Finally, they all fell on the floor laughing their heads off. The hilarity continued until who would walk through the door but Mr. Rogers, of Mr. Rogers Windows! "Hey folks! I'm Mr. Rogers of Mr.
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
I ran toward the van to try and get his autograph, but he growled, "I ain't got time for your jibba-jabba, fool!" And with that, he made a U-turn and proceeded back down the road and bumped into a steel spike that protruded from a pile of obliterated concrete. Fortunately, I was wearing my Kevlar vest and it bounced off!
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
Stephen Hawking and he said "Isn't that something! Isn't that something! We started laughing hilariously and we had to enunciate to be understood.
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
We rushed to the roof and searched for hoofprints in the snow, but all we found were stale, broken gingerbread cookies from last year. What we really hoped for was the grand prize offered by the local newspaper for "Best Illumination".
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
Luckily, they had heard this brainteazor before, (or hopefully one of them was a good gueszor). "We accept your challenge!" He shouted, " You're no match for our shoulder-mounted quantum rocket launchers!"
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
I was thinking Goldman and Sachs. I asked, and they said please to take our seats immediately! The maestro was heading down the center aisle was Hulk Hogan! he howled, and the audience began to shuffle their feet with boredom. That restless sound soon reached the top balcony, where our VIP seats were.
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
We were going to collide head-on! Quickly I reached over and jerked the ripcord, and my parachute cmae hurtling out just in time!
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
"Why?" I asked. he exclaimed, "I want paper not plastic!
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
I tried to hit the button to open the drawer, but it really didn't matter if a few pickles fell on the floor. We could always rinse them off and use them on the next drive-through customer, who had just ordered 2 large cokes, 2 large fries, and 2 giant Cokes with crushed garlic.
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
Everyone turned their attention to us and the farmer (who was very creative about recycling) used old tires to start a bonfire. Boy, it stank, but the flames reached to pick up a jar of homemade apple butter! I had to squint to read the obiturary, but I managed to make out "squished by a giant pumpkin"!
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
woo boo -boo-boogaloo, boo-boo-boogalo! Put them together and what have you got? Get lose, you cannot compare with my powers. woo boo -boo-boogaloo, boo-boo-boogalo! Put them together and what have you got? You thought of pink elephants!!!
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
What! No light speed??? Would it help if I released the emergency brake? She smiled sweetly and pushed the button that sent them all hurtling into a black hole. We landed on the dark side of the moon and off in the distance we could hear weird music, so we decided to go to light speed!
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
In fact most of the students looked at least as old as MS-DOS. Which would put it at about 25 years old. There was also an acoustic coupler modem on display. "Wow!" I exclaimed when my turn came to say Wow! Ah just kidding! The new teacher was quite a knock-out!
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
Break this one open and you will see why you should never cook with Spam on television." (laugh track) "To start with, crack these eggs, whip them up, and blend them into your stock pot. Next, chop the garlic into tiny bits at least small enough to fit into a cupcake holder!
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
We put them in the bathtub because it's just easier to wipe two bottoms at the same time.
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
When I go out to check the nests I might be surprised to find my neighbors have switched from listening to rap music to classic.
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
We might find some interesting local folks to talk to. They always have lots of salty snacks handy and lots of little packages of sweet cakes made with 100% extra-virgin olive oil.
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
duh...I don't know. It's a terrible thing to lose your train of thought in such an intense environment! You have to be able to think on your feet! Look at what's at stake, for crying out loud! People's lives are at stake!
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
It's a mirage! It's actually a water-saving toilet, and it cost much more than I could afford.
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
It's good to keep track of the total number of inches lost around the waist.
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
Delighted, I said, "This has been such a success, let's have a yard sale every weekend!" The grass was all mashed down, because all the people had found such great bargains, and were so delighted, they asked us if we would consider administering a state-wide network of yard sales from an executive highrise in Manhattan.
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
I expect a response from the navigator because I really think we are lost! I don't recognize anything down below.
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
she said with a wink. Great googlely-mooglely...that was just about the nicest thing anyone had ever said! Well, after hearing that, I was ready to sharpen all my pencils, and I discovered I need to go buy a new pocketsize spiral notebook and a black power cable.
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
Clearly the problem is an occluded colon. This sort of thing happens if you don't eat enough fiber, and then load up on cheese pizza.
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
(Hey, I was in a hurry!) Besides, it only cost 89 cents. And I had a coupon for $1 off so he had to give me 11 cents back. Muhahaha! They'll never figure it out! They'll see little toy mice dangling from the penthouse roof.
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
It pays to set aside enough time to complete the job; otherwise, you are left with wallpaper paraphernalia strewn across the house for the next four months. So, to those of you who choose to take on the challenge of putting up wallpaper - my advice to you is avoid putting a lot of holes in the wall, because that will only cause discoloration later.
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
I almost lost it - not only were there woodchips in my sandwich, but now my favorite electric tool was perfect for sanding the hardwood floor prior to refinishing it.
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
Get out of my office, you'll never be in the Space Marines!' Then I hung up and dialed the sheriff and asked him to come right away. Before I knew it, what should pull up in my driveway?! It was a car full of phase rifles and doom grenades! the driver said. "Hop in and tell me where you want to go.
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
Just give me a second. and see right before our eyes the ground rushing up toward us! No time to lose; the passengers were eating up all the pretzels! Somebody slow them down! Even if you have to jump up and down and sing Yankee Doodle.
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
Many times a person's favorite part about something isn't the most obvious.
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
Look what just landed on the counter! It's a big glop of pork brains! Mix it in with the scrambled eggs and you will have a breakfast served to you in several courses, as I finish each section of the show. I have staff who will divide the German blood sausage into enough pieces so that everyone can have at least a Eastern European immigrant would have more good taste than the fresh-faced yahoos we've been putting on this show.
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
That hat and me go way back. Why, I remember when 8-tracks were giving way to audio cassettes! Now, music is one of those things you can't live without.
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
What gives? Obviously some of the rest of us are entitled to a piece of the action. So here's the plan: Rent a storefront, buy some coffee beans, and to grind them, buy a big muffin. The bigger the better. The biggest I've ever seen. In fact, so big, that it wouldn't even fit in the grinder.
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
My first ocean cruise! I flew to Miami and boarded the beautiful liner with all the other baggage, getting stowed in the hold. The weather was balmy and perfect. It seemed a good time to take a walk around the deck and breathe in a lot of fresh fish!
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
You stop traffic while I wash this man's windshield! He will surely reward me with a big wad of toilet paper stuck in my butt, I look just like a bunny rabbit! Hop, hop, hop!" He giggled, as he flushed my goldfish down the toilet.
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
"Out with the bad (dirt), in with the good (smell)!" She shouted, to no one in particular. Next, she declared she would eat more chocolate than ever before. She would also eat a lot more lettuce! With a healthier diet, lifting weights, power walking, and balacing my checkbook on time so that I know I have enough money to buy some new underwear!
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
So before they went to the store they made a list of ingredients: Trix cereal, cinnamon bun, chocolate milk, and peanut butter cookies! All part of a balanced beam that came crashing through the front door.
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
Now what? There was only one solution: activate the fleet of snowmobiles! Racing to the garages, we poured out bag after bag of cat litter in order to absorb the neutrons from the nuclear fission reaction. It was going to go critical! We only had seconds to release the valves on the new oxygen tanks!
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
Blistering hot rays beating down upon us, we began to feel dizzy, so someone suggested we should go sit down in the shade. A lady brought us some cold drinks.
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
You look exhausted!" The salesman crooned. "Have a seat on this bench while I go into Best Buy.
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
When we look into the mirrors, we want to see a little more attitude. Show me that anorexic girl who came in a while ago. She has the look we want. She must weigh close to 350 pounds. But that's OK. that's right... Perfect! She's a door. The next girl can pose on this poof chair. It is shaped like a high-heeled shoe.
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
in which case jelly doughnuts will be your best bet. Of course everyone knows in addition to trays of sugary pastries, you should add bountiful numbers of rose petals to your bath! That will help you smile and feel so special! That's such a relaxing and beautiful big pouffy couch.
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
We called the photographer over to get his opinion of the background, and then we set up the .50-caliber machine guns to defend our site from looters. Rare artifacts can fetch a healthy price on the black market, just like scarred old remnants of ancient civilizations.
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
Unfortunately as I quickly rounded the corner, I ran right into the forklift! The driver groaned, "That's gotta hurt!"
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
You may end up being bulimic, but at least that won't kill you. Probably. Your other alternative is to eat yogurt 3 times a day. To add to the great nutritional value of the yogurt, you can add chopped tuna. That will add good protein without making you feel overfull.
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
We could use that for the windows, the furniture, and the whole enchilada really did fit on the makeshift picnic table. The helper carpenters sat down, famished, and dove right in to the ice cream with nuts and chocalate syrup.
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
I cried, and "All your base are belong to us!" Then I jumped over the wall and into the swirling vortex of fear! Countering the attack with another new move, the hovering spinning high kick, he propelled his opponent across the room flew a whirling bat ninja right at me.
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
So why not stick some on the voting booths for fun? I bet that would get more people to vote! You need live music, kiddie rides, free food, and most of all you need A BRAIN !
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
If he didn't get out soon, he'd die. He soon heard that Spot next door was wearing a flea collar. What a wimp. Barrister has no use for such "jewelry". Maybe he should just walk over and slap around the intruder!
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
Those girls are wearing bikinis! Go back! Go back!!" and waved the water hose in a circle over his head, splashing water on everyone nearby, including customers, classmates, and the whole board of supervisors joined in to hold hands, circle around, and sang Ring Around the Rosy.
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
She was a powder keg, and her ear was the fuse. "MO---om! Mom! Help me!" He was dangling from a precarious precipice with a scant hand hold.
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
"Oh, yeah! That's right! It looks like plastic poop; you know that artificial dog poop that you fool people with? Never mind scoop it up and throw it into the dumpster parked on the side of the house. We had rented it for just this purpose.
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
we heard bellowed from outside. It wasn't the first time we had heard it. The building shook with a bone-buzzing boom! Dust and debris fell as the bricks were loosened from the incredible shock.
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
Entering my study, I admired anew this soothing room. It was easy to relax in here.
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
I did too pay for my last Ferris wheel ride. Look, I have the ticket stub right here, next to my prize-winning apple pie. Look at it! The judges thought it tasted like chemicals.
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
They lay in wet piles atop the sewer grates, and rats slithered out and began to dance on the grates! It was unbelievable! Why one of them was playing the saxophone, and the tune was " Thus Spoke Zoroaster", from "2001: A Space Odyssey".
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
Add it to your yogurt! he said as he took another bite of his steak. It was clear she wasn't going to eat hers either, so he reached over and grabbed the salad dressing, saying, "If I'm going to eat nothing but salad for lunch, I'm going to need more salt and pepper.
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
When the alarm sounded, the inspector pulled aside a tall glass of iced tea! plate of tamales, burritos, and enchiladas! The only thing this dish is missing is my face. Allow me to remedy this gross inconsistency at once.
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
We lowered the volume just in time before the other dancer jumps over you. The idea is to create the picture of water with the water birds in it. So the next move is a demi plie; just swirl around and fluidly reach for your toes and come back up to face the audience.
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
I whispered back, "Now's our chance!" We carefully snuck around until we were right behind him, and with one swift movement, I lunged with my scimitar.
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
While I was whirling it around my waist, I started to feel nostalgia for the carefree days of my youth, once so far away, but now closer for seeing the whole collection of Scooby Doos all in one place was amazing! What a sight to see! I wonder if I could take them all home?
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
The lead one proclaimed, "You have trespassed on holy ground, infidel, now you will put on your scuba gear because we are going underwater.
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
The sargeant will have our heads in we don't find them! Man! They were engraved with the signature of my arch-enemy, Boy Zinn Thehood!!" As if on cue, Thehood smashed down the door and rummaged through the connecting rooms. When he finally found the cash register, he looked at it and exclaimed, "
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
Dad only made us work half-days. It didn't matter to him which twelve hours it was. Next we had to kill the hogs to make bacon and sausage. Granddaddy would put his fingers in his ears because he did not want to hear the gunshot. Then everyone would join in to cut up the lard and use it to fry the bacon, sausage, eggs, toast, and soup.
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
They weren't scared. They had bombs, laser guns, machine guns, and they had a metal box that could change into a jet with a laser gun that could shoot stuff. as if they were fleeing from something.
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
No interlopers in this garden! You can count on me to take care of all the weeds, because I know what a weed looks like.
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
"Do it again! Do it again!" They chanted, pounding their feet in rhythm. "Oh, Kayyy..." I said, and I turned around to go again.
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
Look out for the alligator!" Celina wasn't scared of alligators. She'd been in the river back home in Brazil many times with them. She knew they wouldn't harm her.
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
Be sure to securely fasten your bungee cord before you jump!" That is, if I'm ever even at the Eiffel Tower again! We knew we were going to see lots of interesting sights, but we sure weren't expecting that! I kicked the dude in the nuts as hard as I could. "How dare you expose yourself like that in front of her!"
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
And where to go next? I think we should go over to the hardware department and we can look for some Transformers! The ones that turn into a robot and then into a jet plane and then into the Toy Department again to see if anything was missing from the shelves.
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
"That's OK, I've lost my sense of smell. I cannot smell anything. Why anymore, I cannot even smell my own butt since I sat in a bunch of flowers all day!" So we took the flowers and stuck our noses in them in order to hide the poopy smell that was all around us. It worked at first but not for long.
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
So pull yourself together and straighten up that posture, soldier! We want you to stand tall and proud. Remember you are representing the United States of America, the most powerful country in the world! then do 500 more... muh--errgghhk..." He started foaming at the mouth and just could not resist biting the tar out of every single drill sargeant on the base.
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
The joyful ringing of their laughter reached all the way to Route 17. Traffic was stopping just to listen. Pretty soon the whole parking lot was full of chicken nuggets! Hundreds of them! Crate after crate of chicken nuggets! "This isn't right!" I exclaimed. "Pops doesn't sell chicken nuggets!
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
I'm going to jail! Ha ha ho ho." At this, we slowly backed out of the room and ran lickety split down the hall yelling our lungs out, "Help!
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
Do you have any CHEESE?!! We want CHEESE!! We ain't had nothin' to eat for three stinkin' days but this moldy bread.
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
"That was quite a steep waterslide! I don't think I want to go down that again! It scared me too much and when I got to the bottom, I hit a Honda Civic! But since I was in a Hummer, i just kind of rolled over him and kept on going." "That's terrible, who would have thought ice cream could melt so fast!
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
Why, in my back pocket I even have a map to a secret underground base, which is also underwater!" We had to use a submarine to get to it. None of us had ever driven one before, but the tunnel was easy to drive through because there were all kinds of lights and even air conditioning.
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
Then we go directly to the reference section so we can look up Guinea Worms. We want to know all about them so we can write a report. This report must be written on the subject of underwater basket weaving.
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
That was the only thing that worked for me to help me feel calm again, and it helped me also to feel sympathy for homeless people.
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
Then I had an idea: I sat down next to a customer and smiled. "I'm happy to be the one to tell you, you've just won a LIFETIME SUPPLY of Super-Sized Whopper Combo Meals!!!" The supervisor clapped me on the back as the cameras flashed; but I didn't notice.
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
And no one could beat the taste of right-out-of-the-oven freshly baked golden brown teenage girls. They clearly had been tanning for quite some time. "Hey you girls,"
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
He found himself in the middle of a big pile of threadbare blue mats. he exclaimed. "How can we practice our rolls with all this stuffing coming out?" he said. " We can take them and subject them to my newest ultimate move: Swirling Vortex of Thousand-Hand Doom!" He stealthily lunged out from under cover, and they immediately began shooting 360 degrees around their location, blowing away over half the threat in the first 4 seconds.
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
Would you choose blue chip stocks or penny stocks? Whatever you choose you must be willing to keep what you buy for at least a decade. Greg couldn't believe his jail sentence would be that long, but considering the number of his convictions, he knew he had jail time ahead.
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
Thusly donned, they left--earning strange stares since the underwear was actually their outerwear. Sam said, The gravity is very different here, so don't be doing any jumping.
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
Thus began the century-long "Reign of Terror." and then threw back his own with peals of diabolical laughter. Thus began the century-long "Reign of Terror." The king looked down at him and replied,"
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
Barrister the Lawyer Cat sat behind his big mahogany desk and pondered about the court cases for the day.
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
You continue this until you're an ultimate ninja, and we will all thumb our noses at you, because your strength will be like a river, rushing along pell mell with not a backward glance, gleefully heading for a sure collision with that wall!
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
Rubbing her sore shoulder, she asked the nearest patron "What does a girl have to do to get some service around here?!" Her manner frightened the man somewhat, so he stammered Woo Baby, I just wet my pants!
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
The sky turned white with all the exhaust plumes from the nuclear-armed missiles, and soon they found the hidden treasure! Now they would all be rich! They could buy whatever they wanted! They would never be poor again! And the first thing they decided to buy was a life insurance policy, because they knew they would not live forever.