Betty's Turn-Down Game

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Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
We landed right in a big pile of dry leaves! The pleasant earthy smell of po-tay-toes! Boil em, mash em, stick inna stew!
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
It is so cozy and wraps you in fuzzy warmth and makes you feel as if you might not have washed these pants as well as you should have. Something stinks, and it's not the flowers. Time for a change of clothes: work boots, old jeans, and that t-shirt with a hole in it will be the perfect outfit for attending the funeral.
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
Infuriated, he snorted, and the breath was visible in the cold air. The hills echoed with his bellow of rage, and remnants of soft verses of Psalmic peace. I was at a loss. How should I feel?
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
Nobody ever bothers you, and you have basically infinite free time. If you're into meditation, make sure you have a cup of coffee ahead of time so that you don't accidentally slip on a patch of ice and land face-first in a pile of freshly driven icy cold snow causing me to feel the need to call the airline and confirm my flight hadn't been cancelled.
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
Hurry! Turn off the lights! Pretend we're not home! We don't have enough food for all those people! Just kidding! We actually sold the turkey for bail money! Now get in, loser. We're headed for the Mexican border. Would you pass the TV remote control?
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
Chip Davis paid a lot to assemble this plethora of instruments, and you -- what? Plethora. Plethora. No, it's a word that means a tornado probably came though overnight. Judging by the debris all over the front porch, I knew the next thing to do would be to install a charcoal filter.
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
As I licked my fingers clean, I wondered did I still need to wash them before I played Clash of Clans on my phone? Eh, it'll be all right. So I just went ahead and played, but later I regretted that trolling.
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
Now we just needed to get it started, but none of us had a lighter or matches. Fortunately, Shawn had an idea: Let's put a Slip 'n' Slide in the back yard and have fun, fun, fun! After we install in and hook up the water hose to it, all we have to do then is round the Kiwis up into one place, and nuke them.
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
He said, " it must have been caused by faulty logic!" A collective gasp of shock was followed by stunned silence as everyone tried to understand how to keep 2 cats who used to be friends from absolutely screaming at each other.
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
He flexed mightily, showing off the lightning bolt tattoos on his bulging biceps, and the crowd got even louder, if that were possible. Steve's date, Maria, had to yell to be heard over the noise, saying " I love salsa! Bring me salsa smothered on tortilla chips and layered with the scents of earth and cut grass."
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
Ah, man.. I will just go buy some new paper at the local Christmas wrap store.
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
With that, everyone looked around to be sure nobody was watching when they dumped their camping garbage into the fast flowing river. Swollen from recent rains, it would be a good protection from big brown grizzly bears who roam around always looking for tasty wheat!
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
Amazed, I watched while the panel I'd kicked receded, and the door slowly creaked open.... I was so afraid to look. I just shut my eyes really tight and slowly scooted backward into the nearby escape pod. Luckily it was activated already, so the geiger counter started a vigorous ticking.
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
I don't know why I just let stuff sit there literally for years and never use it or even look at it.
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
I thought it was pretty good advice to weigh the option of working in an air-conditioned environment, considering how hot the dishwashing water had to be; what would that be doing to the rats in the sewers?
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
Especially when finding it where you least expect to find a skunk baby. Ohhh, poor little thing! All alone! All it needs is a nice sunny spot and some rain now and then!
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
Now all that's required to make everything perfect is celebrate good times, come on! Let's all celebrate and have a good time! Maybe he is resting in a soft bowl of potpourri to freshen the air.
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
I hadn't even considered bringing bug spray. Well, like they say, when life hands you lemons, discard the lemons; make bacon.
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
But I told her "Sure, you can drive my car to Walmart." I knew she would not know how to knot the bow around the knife, so I showed her how to tie knots in people's shoelaces ...joined...so when they stood up to walk they would immediately smile, introduce themselves and offer to shake hands.
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
Another good way to do that would be to sprinkle that special salt all over the road.
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
But it is okay to have some background music like the theme music from the movie, " Saturday Night Fever"--it makes you want to dance, but you wouldn't admit to your high-society friends that you like it.
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
First we went to Cosco and loaded up on lots of wood glue, posterboard, hammers, and nuclear material. That's everything we need for assembling a Gatling gun! And just in time, too. Any minute now the UPS man will come down the street in his brown truck and deliver multiple packages full of those plastic air-filled cushions.
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
This performance will be so spectacular that the town will hold a fireworks extravaganza! And vendors will come to sell their homemade costumes.
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
Welcome to Engineering Country!Now proceed into the Student Center where you will be issued a tote bag full of water guns. The pool party should be fun!" Of course there will be a need for towels to wipe up the floor after the shaving cream fight!
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
Were you trying to scrape wallpaper off with them or something? Have you no respect for running into the back of me?? Look at that big dent! Why, it is as big as a polar bear! Or as big as they were before they let all the water out of the pool, they decided to wash the dog, so they soaped him up and then poured over him a bucket of chum in the backseat."
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
Put all of it in the back of the truck and take it to the dump! And while you are there, make sure you pick up some latticework or fishing line because as the vine grows, it wraps around everything in its path and starts choking the other plants when then in desperation they start to prune it, they don't know such actions are misguided.
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
Everything is washed, dried, and hung on hangers!Woohoo ! There will be no danger of wearing dirty clothes again!
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
What a day we had!! But Winter is almost over!! In just a few days, we went home. So, all's well that ends well, and we ate cake and pie. And I will build it out of lots of catnip and wine.
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
We should put the ones of Xander and Ethan in a special embossed hankerchief.
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
I might as well take a nap. It's cold & cloudy today, so I am going to find my fur gloves and my fur hat, and put them on my dresser next to my collection of Birkenstocks and in fact, they were taking up so much floor space, that I had to rearrange a few things so that it would boil and roil and steam was rising rapidly.
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
Determined, I sat down and finally got to #10! I resolve to refrain from eating bowl after bowl of baked beans. I then went to library, found the most crowded reading room, and proceeded to bolster my confidence by encouraging myself under my breath.
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
What a great hiding place! After finding it I hid it again, but this time inside a really big box! The only way to cover that will be to file bankruptcy!! Man, I will hate to go to court and stand before the magistrate and hope you don't get thrown in jail until you paid every penny because you were cruel to your debtors and the king found about it.
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
Decisions, decisions. Where would be the perfect place to put this bowl of fresh tomatoes grown with my wonderful compost? I think I will put it on the level ground. Last time, I situated my composter on a hill.
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
Aaahhh! and proceeded to have a coughing fit that lasted for approximately 20 seconds.
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
Unfortunately, just at the last second, I slipped in the mud and slid right into a big pile of manure.
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
sound of Newsboys that made them so distinct, now that DC Talk alumnus Michael Tait has replaced Peter Furler, unfortunately has largely aged well.
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
And the surrounding area was covered in moldy gray moss that smelled like gym socks that had been stuffed with rotten onions and baby vomit.
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
Why is it that you don't get hungry until you are in the kitchen. Don't be surprised if you find yourself by asking hard questions, not taking anything at face value, exposing yourself to new experiences, and at every opportunity, enjoying a big bowl of homemade potato salad.
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
Now we only have to wait to get the bill. I am on pins and needles. I am sitting on the front porch now watching for the app to close without losing my patience with it. Instead I decided to add a new game app. The name of it was Clash of the Terrible Twos. Unpredicatable, delightful, exhausting, outrageous and wonderful, the new ring tone was delightful.
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
When you're buying tickets for entertainment purposes, it's best if you just ignore this storyline because it does not have one. Who thought this up anyway?? It must have been Mr. Carrington, the newspaper deliveryman! He was known for being obnoxious to the nth degree. Everyone was gathering into little groups to avoid talking to him.
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
Who want a piece? Ethan will be glad to help you if you find your wallet is straining to hold all that money.
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
Sweat was running into my eyes, mosquitoes were biting me, and worst of all, the only solution I could find online was to use pesticide. Disappointed and frustrated, I determined that the cosine of a right angle is equal to the length of the adjacent line divided by the hypotenuse.
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
I wanted the batter to stay fluffy, so very gently I hollowed out each cupcake and spooned in a mixture of soft serve ice cream, grated coconut, ground-up Kit-Kat bars, and wet walnuts. I put it all into one big gigantic bowl. I had to have plenty of room to make the icing made with butter and powdered sugar.
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
I knew they only SEEMED closer...or were they really? The clear sky released the oppressive heat, and stars started to blink on. I knew they only SEEMED closer...or were they really? It could also be caused by heavy and drenching downpours of rain which then froze over the entire Rock when the temperature suddenly dropped.
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
I just had to spit it out onto the lawn. There, in the sun, I could see a big hydrogen firestorm. Scary! Good thing I was not looking directly at it, and a good thing I was wearing my asbestos underwear!
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
First, you have to be sure the correct worksheets are in each cubby hole with the kid's name labeled above. I reached into the back of one of the cubby holes and found a mistake!"
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
If only I had remembered all the eggnog was gone! Why is the eggnog always gone? Why is the New Year's number always depicted as novelty eyeglasses? If only everyone would stand still!
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
And Colleen's kick-yo-ass hot sauce! Maybe then it will be easier to accomplish.The first rule of making a good resolution is to make it specific.
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
Arrange them in a semi-circle under the Christmas tree, but make sure they are not near any pets. Now you are all set for a very Merry Christmas! Sit back, relax, and take a big sample of that egg nog !! I think we deserve it ! Regardless, I put it on the plate with the other desserts next to the Christmas tree.
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
Skeptically, I lifted up tile after tile from the floor and underneath I saw a great deal of cat hair, all matted together into a gluey fabric reminiscent of the feeling you get while watching episodes of "This Old House." There's just that nagging feeling that all the sewage is seeping into the ground under the house.
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
For a festive holiday fragrance, try cinnamon or balsam, but my favorite choice would definitely be soft amber lighting accented with rhinestones and gold leaf. Now that's classy!
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
Bursting through the opening, they couldn't believe their eyes: the new wireless mouse was growing fur and teeth !!!!
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
I was the admiral of the first fleet to set off into the universe's darkest corners, and as the one in charge, I needed to handpick my coworkers. They needed to be brave, intuitive, and ambitious! So I picked these three people: Gandhi, Einstein, and Owen Wilson. I figured that third choice made perfect sense because he had just eaten a loaf of bread the size of his head.
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
My wife insisted I was being paranoid, but I had to be absolutely certain that the air conditioner would never break down again.
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
But what an awesome game. What a bad game ending!!! But what an awesome game. What the hell?!?!?! What a bad game ending!!!
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
I ran so far I got lost. I didn't care, I was finally able to lift my shoes from the sticky coke residue on the floor, and I put them on top of the stack of 16mm movie reels that I stole from the projection room when nobody was looking!
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
It's easier to keep track of distance that way. But this time I decided just to enjoy the moment. Off in the distance, I noticed reflected from the street lamp, 2 yellow eyes staring at me. I slowed my walking and waited to see whether it would fall from its own weight.
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
Smell that? It's napalm. In the morning. I LOVE IT! It smells like victory and then, when you least expect to find roly poly bugs in the flower pots.
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
Quick!! Get on him, before he prepared the meal. Good hygiene is always optional when skydiving. It's not like anyone can smell you at 10,000 feet! But by the time you finish your last task, you have run out of time and lost all your money causing you to giggle with delight.
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
There may be more to eat than even all the king's men can handle. We'll have to get the horses in on it too. They will no doubt go to the beach on the next sunny day and find oodles of candy to give to all the party guests! Soon everyone will be able to fetch a pail of water better than that clumsy doofus, Jack.
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
The rest would be left to drown in the swarm of cats. They would cover the Earth with moss. Happiness is cozy, soft, and green. How could anyone argue against me? Do they want to get punched?
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
With that load off my mind, I turned my attention to the Mack truck that was barreling down the road, straight towards me! Time seemed to slow down and I could count each rod in the grill that would soon become one with my face.
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
Your good china, your sparkling wine. We were just about to open our second bottle when suddenly, hot marshmallow started oozing out around the oven door! "How much for a deep fat fryer big enough for a turkey?? We don't have time to cook it in the oven!!" He replied, "It would cost a bazillion dollars to cater Thanksgiving dinner to the whole town!
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
So bright. So beautiful. prrrecciouusss... Those hobbitses are always stealing from us. Those nasty little roaches were everywhere! Someone must have left food in here! Ah, I found an old lunch bag! And in it were stale pieces of air. There wasn't enough oxygen to breathe!
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
Before anyone would take any of the glistening, tempting flutes, I barked, "NO. That's not champagne. It's actually going to be a Midnight Madness Sale and we will certainly be going to it and after that we want to get a bite to eat at the newly opened wormhole in the fabric of space!"
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
That's a good egg. Now also watch out for jugs of dirty car oil, because if you were to accidentally kick one over, your foot would probably end up kicking the butt of somebody who just wandered into your garage and started messing everything up.
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
Kids paid $1 to take turns using an Airsoft rifle to try and knock them down. I kept this up for almost an hour before the store managers realized what I was doing and chased me off, but by that time I had earned enough points to get a prime rib sandwich free at WaWa, they were all out! So instead, I had to settle for a bargain bin, discount roll of wrapping paper that was hideous.
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
It was a quiet, bright morning in Uptown Suburbia, USA. I went outside to water my plants, when suddenly I heard the deep guttural voice of a zombie! It scared me so badly that I screamed, " Where's my money, you silly stupid old fool?" Since he was no Jimmy Stewart fan, the zombie jumped out of the monitor and uttered a gravelly :) voice at me, and said right into my ear, "
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
zombies had invaded and were eating people's brains and throwing newspapers helter skelter down from the attic until finally everything was listed on Ebay and Craigslist. Now we go shopping for NEW stuff!! Unfortunately she could not bear to get rid of anything after all the decluttering, so she proceeded systematically to attack the zombies!
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
But to attach them, we needed to use our most skulky ninja tactics in order to get the brown hat to its next destination. We surrepticiously crossed the street and found a a secret cave lined with dozens of bats and hundreds of poopy tax return pages.
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
My two nephews came to visit! I hadn't seem them in a long time.
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
Could it possibly lead to early development of cataracts? I need to know because who wants to be blind for the rest of his life?!!" I decided to get a second opinion.
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
He leapt to his feet, grinned from ear to ear and slammed the Death Wish Mortificator into the bottom of the Hydra's stomach. But he wouldn't be staying there for long.
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
Let the battle begin! The music started, and then slowly emerging onto the screen was a giant box! I knew it was full of video games which I had ordered. I'm so skilled at 'em they only last a few days, max. That's why I have to soak my hands in hot paraffin every night. What a relief! Then the next day I am ready to open fire with my thermonuclear missile pack.
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
My garden was in sad shape. It had been neglected for far too long and as I rolled up my sleeves, I resolved to do something about it! It was just past the crack of dawn when I noticed a bunch of slimy slugs eating away at my petunias.
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
Melodic crooning by the likes of Barry Manilow were interrupted by a big knock-down, drag-out cat fight. Wow, the fur did fly! Next thing you know there was a computer virus on the screen, taunting you!
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
He never finished his sentence, however, because that biggy size hot chocolate just spilled in his lap! He swiftly landed in full view of the spectators that had gathered to watch the race!
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
had to write out a final will and testament. He gravely wrote, "I, being of sound mind and body, do hereby express my wishes in this last will and testament." He paused, and then continued: " I want every intern to pay attention here. Watch me make this incision, and I don't want anybody to cry when I'm gone.
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
Rogers Windows! "Hey folks! I'm Mr. Rogers of Mr. Rogers Windows! Did you know that poor-quality windows could cost you a bundle in heating bills? That's why I always read the Dilbert cartoon as soon as I get to work. That turns out to be the best part of the day for me because he makes me feel like I'm in control of my financial destiny.
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
It was crunchy and really really tasty! I gathered up a few and put them in my pocket so I could give them to the police officer when he hauled me in for questioning before being charged with trespassing.
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
I decided to take a 4-week crash course on French. I'd never studied a foreign language, but there's no time like the present for developing a smooth accent. feelings of the Italians, who of course like to roll their R's and use nasal N's, like when they say Cinqo de Mayo they don't mean, "Drop the mayonnaise"; what they really mean is, "
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
I had all my Christmas lights in order plus some new packages. Now I was ready to decorate the yard! First I put on a jacket, gloves, and on my head, I put a red nose on the reindeer and called him Rudolph.
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
We came running and saw many tentacles creeping out of the hatch, and they were reaching for a rope to pull themselves out before the Lazor Beam Hydra returned!!!!!!!!
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
The maestro was heading down the center aisle was Hulk Hogan! he howled, and the audience began to shuffle their feet with boredom. That restless sound soon reached the top balcony, where our VIP seats were. We could see the entire auditorium from here, as well as mink coats, diamond tiaras, and fancy tuxedos trimmed with mistletoe and holly.
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
For dessert I asked for English Trifle, a scrumptuous dessert of whipped cream, fresh fruit, and sponge cake soaked with nervous sweat.
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
That's the last time I'm ever going to IHOP!" Thoroughly disgusted, we threw up our arms and shouted, "THIS STORE SUCKS!!" Needless to say, the manager had never heard such beautiful singing in his life.
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
Bill exclaimed. the customer replied smugly. "It's legal tender. See? It says right here: "This product may contain peanuts and for those persons with allergies, it may cause severe difficulty in operating a vehicle or other heavy equipment!"
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
So we invited the whole neighborhood, and when they all showed up we gave them a couple bucks and told them to go fetch us a newspaper. While we waited, the kids were able to play a beanbag game. They had to throw up their hands and scream "Eureka!!!!"
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
Put them together and what have you got? woo boo -boo-boogaloo, boo-boo-boogalo! Put them together and what have you got?
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
Now all you need to do is finish these cheetos while making some last minute calculations to ensure our safe arrival back to earth. One never knows what will happen if you transpose the warp stream with the antimatter containment field, you will surely lose your breakfast in a hurry, unless you made sure first that you fasten your helmet securely, fasten your oxygen hose, and secure you must be, and I the all-wise one, tell you I will, that you really had better know what you're doing by now!
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
You cannot leave the classroom until you have erased all your data, then you get to start all over!! HA! Now take this CD and put it where the sun don't shine - cuz you're never gonna pass this course anyway.
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
"Hello, everyone, I'm Kent Mansley, and this is COOKING SHOW!! Today's show is brought to you by Squeesitout Pimple Cream! Make sure all your teenagers have a good supply, and are wearing this new hairnet. We all know that sanitation is very low priority around here, which is why your show is on suspension!"
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
The quickest thing I could do was put them into a big cardboard box. If I hurried, I could get to Warehouse Store and buy another 1000 diapers before they go to college! So don't worry, everybody poops, more or less, and it all works out in the end.
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
That's the only explanation for why we were stupid enough to move into this neighborhood.
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
There's no telling what we will do if we start down that mountain and our brakes give out! We will probably end up going into a rest area to collect tourist pamphlets for the area. Of course, while we're there, we'll check out the local caves. I know it will be cool in there, and who knows?
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
As if an answer to prayer, up walked none other than George W. Bush! red, white, and blue streaks were all we could see of the cars! They were going so fast, the asphalt was melting.
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
Really. So don't worry about flushing the toilet. We can wear nose plugs and burn the leftover sludge, even though everyone knows a better use for it would be to put it into a bucket beside the commode.
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
So instead, try to re-interpret your hunger as a desire to do another favorite activity besides eat, such as eggplant, okra, mushrooms, and rhubarb: all on Greg's list of guys lookin' in yer window!
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
Sitting in the hot sun, sipping sweet tea and making fun of the junker cars that drove up was worth at least $100.
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
Although having been on a 3 day binge, I tried to rise from my seated position. But as soon as I stood up, my head hit the ceiling! and take off my lucky socks.
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
I hope we never run out of pencil sharpeners because if we do, we will have to hire a bodyguard!" He'll know what to do.
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
The doctor sighed and took out the tongue depressor and inserted it into the patient's file. "It's good for us to keep a copy of your dental records and a listing of all intimate encounters you've had for the past 2 years."
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
(Hey, I was in a hurry!) Besides, it only cost 89 cents. And I had a coupon for $1 off so he had to give me 11 cents back. Muhahaha! They'll never figure it out! They'll see little toy mice dangling from the penthouse roof.
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
But the toilet had been removed! So I went upstairs and screamed to let out the frustration. Then I went back downstairs and fixed myself a meatball lunch pocket. It was so good, I licked it again. "Hey! Quit that! You're getting wallpaper paste all in my hair!
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
I almost lost it - not only were there woodchips in my sandwich, but now my favorite electric tool was perfect for sanding the hardwood floor prior to refinishing it. I plugged it in and turned it on, but nothing happened.
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
"Wait! Don't hang up! I want to be sure I got it. Just hold on a second while I answer my cell phone........oh, and now there goes my beeper! well, you know the rest of the neighborhood will shortly know all about it if you tell her. Her favorite thing to talk about is how she's going to marry that new recruit that she met from talking to on the phone, if they survive the latest mission, that is."
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
I open the supply cabinet and what do I find? whoa, a flashback to me graduation party. I better get my head on straight because I have to be able to see out the cockpit window. Just give me a second. and see right before our eyes the ground rushing up toward us! No time to lose; the passengers were eating up all the pretzels!
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
No one can take the smile off my face! It's going to stay there until you get a good principal!"
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
I have staff who will divide the German blood sausage into enough pieces so that everyone can have at least a Eastern European immigrant would have more good taste than the fresh-faced yahoos we've been putting on this show.
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
More punk colors: here, stripe your hair with this purple and this pink! That will make you look like Fonzie. Just say "Aayyy!", be cool, and don't forget to wear your sunglasses, your sunscreen, and most of all don't forget your comb, even if you don't need it because your hair's so cool already.
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
Here, I'll show you." With that, she turned around and punched her in the face as hard as she could. She flipped right over the counter!
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
He said. "Where did they get those 1000 hp hydrofoil motors? How fast can this thing go?" Stunned, I replied "But it was right here! I put it there myself!" I was completely flabbergasted! I had lost my third game of shuffleboard!
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
My face was reddening by the second. Before much longer I would surely be able to flush it all down with this high-flow toilet! I pushed the lever and water erupted from the white platform. That's when I realized: it was a giant bidet!
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
She would also eat a lot more lettuce! With a healthier diet, lifting weights, power walking, and balacing my checkbook on time so that I know I have enough money to buy some new underwear!
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
It's all about finding the sources of disposable cellphones. See, in the future, so many people had been using disposable cellphones that the landfills were overflowing with them and people were dying in disposable cellphone avalanches. So the main characters set out to accomplish this mission: a difficult job which would take at least several days and certainly be a bonding experience, an adventure.
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
My headquarters is Spy Base Alpha, and from here we have access to all communications satellites, private and government-owned foreign and domestic.
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
The A/C was cranked up (or is it down?), fortunately. I had some ice cream and once I was cooled off I ran back outside to warm up. Ah the warm desert air blowing from the west, bringing with it a great deal of heat.
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
The salesman crooned. "Have a seat on this bench while I go into Best Buy. I need to, umm, get some stuff." An hour later my receipt showed up in my e-mail. And with that, I got out a notepad and pencil, and started planning for NEXT Christmas! You look exhausted!" The salesman crooned. "Have a seat on this bench while I go into Best Buy.
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
Blue lips are not sexy!" Can't you see that it is too cold in here for a swimsuit shoot! Blue lips are not sexy!"
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
To see a good selection I think I will have to go to the baths, and have a good soak. After that I should feel really blessed and just happy to be alive.
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
There was a long, tense silence, until finally someone said, "Well, I'm hungry. Who's up for some Mickie D's?" And yet, here are the little yellow wrappers!" There was a long, tense silence, until finally someone said, "Well, I'm hungry.
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
We scrambled in a hurry and landed on big pile of garden hoses! Struggling to stand up, and feeling very awkward, I went in the women's bathroom because the men's was out of order and I really, really needed to go to the bathroom again!
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
does NOT apply here! As far as keeping track of your weight, throw out that scale! It will only stress you out, raise your blood pressure and increase your intake of calories. For instance, have a strawberry for dinner instead of nothing!
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
I had already drawn the plans which would include 2, maybe 3 banks of cannons to blow away looters, marauders, and other human filth that would start roaming the streets if Kerry was elected president.
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
Ah, the power coming out of my legs, my arms, my fingertips. If you could see my aura, it'd be white with fire and black with death.
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
I bet that would get more people to vote! You need live music, kiddie rides, free food, and most of all you need A BRAIN ! So why not stick some on the voting booths for fun? I bet that would get more people to vote!
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
What a wimp. Barrister has no use for such "jewelry". Maybe he should just walk over and slap around the intruder! The alarm passed quickly and we swarmed all over the invader of our nest, biting and stinging with abandon.
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
We took it and squeezed it as hard as we could. Then we took both ends and twisted them into mangled balls of metal. The giant robot then kicked them out of his way, like soccer balls made of tin foil. over her top, and "WASH" over her lower area, so the signs obscured her clothing and everyone driving past would think "Holy cow!
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
The dizziness. Sleep-deprived and caffeinated, her psyche was a dangerous mixture of sluggish reasoning and irritation. She was a powder keg, and her ear was the fuse. "MO---om!
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
And where would I start? I made a path toward the window when suddenly I saw a large water-stained cardboard box with bulging sides. I thought, "I probably don't even want to know where I got this box of grenades.
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
Rip! Russell screeched, and yelled, " IT MUST BE SOMEWHERE, BUT WHERE?!" Bricks were flying , windows shattering, the asphalt rippled and disintegrated with every impact. the Hulk bellowed, "But the Hulk is strongest there is! Me prove it! Me dumb. Me stupid. Me go the wrong way on a one-way street.
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. The voice of the people will not be ignored!
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
Startled, I turned around to see a Ferris wheel toppling over, about to smash dozens of people into tiny bits! I screamed for help! Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone.
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
"NINJA!" He yelled "Stop the presses! Stop the presses!!" The editor asked, "What's the matter?" "Can't you see that the weatherman hasn't arrived yet?!! What are we going to do? We have 10 minutes to play ads until we can find the rest of tonight's tape. WHo had it last?"
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
Oh, I forgot my plane ride is over. Good thing I asked for a Kosher meal. I guess that's why they gave me a plate of warm stir-fried vegetable with tofu crumbles." They figured I could use more protein and the oil from the stir-fry would satiate my hunger because the fat becomes trans-fat and demolishes your electrolyte balance; thereby making you feel dizzy and giving you a craving for filet mignon, wrapped in bacon and smothered in mushrooms and fried onions.
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
I want to see the Pullman cars again and sit on the sofas made from styrofoam and gasoline. Mix it up real good, and boom! You have home-made napalm.
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
So the next move is a demi plie; just swirl around and fluidly reach for your toes and come back up to face the audience.
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
I grumbled as I tried my best not to throw up. It wasn't easy I can tell you. I pursed my lips and grimaced and I then proceeded to back up. I just knew if I could get a running start I could make that jump.
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
At a nearby table, I saw a bright red hula hoop left over from the 50's. What a find! I grabbed it quickly because I wanted to add it to my collection. I tried it out too. While I was whirling it around my waist, I started to feel nostalgia for the carefree days of my youth, once so far away, but now closer for seeing the whole collection of Scooby Doos all in one place was amazing!
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
All my bags were packed and soon I would be on my way for the trip of a lifetime!
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
To clean them, he will probably want us to use stun guns. "Have you had any experience with those?" "Actually, no, I've never seen such a gruesome murder.
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
Sometimes we found the eggs in the strangest places: why one time we found three behind the barn, smoking like a durn chimney. I grabbed 'em by the ear and hollered, "I'm gonna tan yer hide, boy!" I dragged him inside and tried to put him to sleep so the vet and I could operate.
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
But suddenly we heard a loud rushing! Coming straight toward us was a giant footprint in the mud. I could have laid down in it and still had room left over. This did not bode well. The sun was sinking fast and we were running out of battery power. Soon it would be dark and we would be in the dark with no flashlights.
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
We helped unload the truck and opened the boxes, and inside we found numerous ants! Streaming out of every crevice. They were everywhere!!
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
"Oh, Kayyy..." I said, and I turned around to go again. There is nothing that is more fun than going down hill in a red wagon. Zoom! Down you go! Everybody out of the way! And every time I get to the bottom, I have this feeling of diarrhea running down my pants leg...
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
The forces of Hauptmann Gestapo were closing in, and Molly was really enjoying her Chinese Chop Suey. She was also learning how to use chopsticks. She easily picked up the noodles, and then deftly she reached into the bowl and she picked up a hockey stick and skated out onto the ice.
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
She wanted to, but couldn't. Tears filled her eyes and she turned and began to run away. Go ahead!" She wanted to, but couldn't. Tears filled her eyes and she turned and began to run away. Tell me I'm wrong! Go ahead!" She wanted to, but couldn't.
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
I said, "Who wants those old toys made in China anyway? I think Ethan and I can make better toys on our own. Hey, maybe we could have our own TOY factory!
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
When they heard us say that, they immediately began farting in unison.
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
Sometimes I did anyway, and I paid sorely for it. Soon I had a cold, and I had to think long and hard if I should keep going out in the cold rain with no boots on. I soon decided barefoot was good........if your feet were hot.
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
Quickly, I retrieved the wiggling hose and finished cleaning up. Nervously, I looked up at him to see the whole congregation of Lighthouse Worship Center walk through the door right behind him.
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
"ALL NIGHT FRAT PARTY!!!!!!!!!!" Max replied. "ALL NIGHT FRAT PARTY!!!!!!!!!!" "Yeah." Max replied.
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
One can never be too careful. For example, if you are going to take a ride in a car, you should always wear your mouse fur coat.
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
"How will we ever get all this mud off?" She whined. "Is anybody hurt?" I asked. "That was quite a steep waterslide! I don't think I want to go down that again! It scared me too much and when I got to the bottom, I hit a Honda Civic!
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
It's stuck in some sort of space-time moebius strip, such that no matter how many times we go down it, we'll always end up back in the mine.
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
I shouted. "Stay still and don't move a muscle. The sniper has a laser scope focused right on your forehead." I wondered if I was fast enough to try to run for it, but we tried to talk him out of it, because if they saw him, it would give us all away.
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
About an hour later we were all too drunk to stand up, but we sure weren't stressed anymore. (giggle!)" About an hour later we were all too drunk to stand up, but we sure weren't stressed anymore.
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
You will also come to realize the customer wants a dozen whoppers, a dozen fries, and a dozen Dr. Peppers. But he wants the whoppers with no onion and plenty of fresh lettuce for all the salads!
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
When they are all finished, you place them carefully on a doily and garnish them with breath-freshening parsley. Parsley isn't given nearly enough press for its natural, chemical-free breath-freshening qualities.
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
he exclaimed. "How can we practice our rolls with all this stuffing coming out?" he said. " We can take them and subject them to my newest ultimate move: Swirling Vortex of Thousand-Hand Doom!"
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
It was a hollow sound. But it was the only one he cared about anymore. His laughter, tinged with madness, echoed through the prison daily. It was a hollow sound.
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
What bummer!" So they hurried to put on their Superman underwear, because it was as inspiring as nothing else is. Thusly donned, they left--earning strange stares since the underwear was actually their outerwear. Sam said, The gravity is very different here, so don't be doing any jumping.
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
The enemies were pouring across the hillsides, and they were all wearing clothes that were way too lightweight for the unexpected turn of events which had placed them here, shivering, being splashed with icy hot oil poured from the castle walls.
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
Lord Elsington. Barrister's client, Lord E., was accused of stealing four little fur toys from Lord Elsington. Natasha, a close associate of Elsington, claimed to have been an eyewitness.
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
"I know," Betty said, "Let's go to the library and do research about Guinea Worms. You know how to get them out of your leg, don't you? You take a thin stick and snap it in two with a single karate chop. Then you do it again with a bigger stick.
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
In it, the Hulk fights his arch-enemy, Snoop Doggy Dog. However, how formidable could he be? Considering his cache of armor, he chose a shield, a big one, because his heart was gripped with fear that he would become dragon food: flame-broiled, crispy baby back ribs smothered in a tempting and tasty blanket of spicy hot peppers and smothered in cheese!
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
It was powerful. So powerful, in fact, So they went ahead and ran around the block fifteen times just to be sure. the time had come to eat a Burger King Whopper. "I want cheese on mine!" Greg whined. But Chad said, I've just about had it with these mice in the attic; It's time to take aggressive measures.