Betty's Turn-Down Game

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Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
I can plant them one by one all lining the sidewalk. When they bloom they will look as if they are marching, and when the neighbors see them, they will exclaim, "
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
This bottle had survived bombing runs, train rides, baggage valets handing it off from country to country, until it finally reached 2021. Now in his safekeeping, it was an exhilarating thought to know he might be the one to uncork it one day and unleash an onslaught of antique aromas nearly a century old.
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
Unblinking, the full moon stared down, uncaring, from a starless sky, rimed with icy clouds.
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
If you're into meditation, make sure you have a cup of coffee ahead of time so that you don't accidentally slip on a patch of ice and land face-first in a pile of freshly driven icy cold snow causing me to feel the need to call the airline and confirm my flight hadn't been cancelled.
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
So, as for sides, we wanted Greg's famous Sweet Potato Casserole, Bonnie's famous Homemade Stuffing, and most of all, Xander's famous bread!
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
The reaction spiralled our of control, detonating in a colorful blossom of chemical energy.
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
What is wrong with you people?!" Two days is too long to spend driving. It wears you out and subtracts the pleasure from a trip.
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
I'm so thirsty I feel like I could drink ALL the soda. I jumped to my feet and cried out because I hit my head on an overhanging tree branch! As I held my hand to the hurty spot, all I could manage to say was I am ready for a real hamburger with all the fixings. Plus a thick milkshake made with real ice cream and in addition a dollup of fairy dust.
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
A collective gasp of shock was followed by stunned silence as everyone tried to understand how to keep 2 cats who used to be friends from absolutely screaming at each other.
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
Love, Thunderstorms", it read in a barely legible hand. Thunderstorms was never known for his verbosity. He wasn't known for much besides being a great wrestler. But he was also my friend. A bit of a lunkhead friend, though, considering when I asked him to give us an autograph, he grabbed the nearest thing to do it on.
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
Ah, man.. I will just go buy some new paper at the local Christmas wrap store. They had every kind you could think of, but I was really drawn to the sparkly tissue wrapping paper!
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
Ethan and Xander were bored one day, and had the bright idea of starting a forest fire just for the hell of it. battery chargers... ummm... I know I'm forgetting something. Oh yeah, also while we are here, I would like to have a picnic! Yeah! I can bring roast beef sandwiches, and you can bring a few bottles of beer!
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
Here I am, stuck up on this remote control for the Blu-Ray player. I kept mashing buttons and nothing worked. In frustration, finally I kicked the door. Amazed, I watched while the panel I'd kicked receded, and the door slowly creaked open....
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
I think they should be displayed in the Alamo gift shop! Right next to all the boxes full of stuff ready to donate to the thrift store! I felt soooo proud! What a find!
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
"Remember, the customer doesn't know what they want to buy. You have to tell them." The lecture continued for a few hours, until finally the sinks were all full of nice hot soapy water all ready for me to wash!
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
And it's a good thing they did, because if they hadn't done so, and quick, we all know what would have happened. So thankfully, it didn't, and because it didn't there will not be any baby tufts of stump grass growing in the vast emptiness of outer space.
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
I think I will pick out a sweet little Donald Trump, the 45th president of the United States, wanted to meet Milo. All those Secret Service men! All those Body Guards! All those TV Crews! How could they all possibly fit in the cabinet under Boppy's sink?
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
Sure enough, I found one. I walked up to them and said, "You're so nerdy and yet so down-to-earth at the same time. How do you achieve this appealing balance?"
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
"Might as well try to make some money out of this mess," I mumbled as I walked back to my motorcycle. So instead I placed a couple business cards.
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
Surely someone would figure out that what I really wanted was a simple joy. And isn't that part of the fabric of life? Letting yourself just enjoy all the simple things is life are so valuable.
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
If you put the cheese on last, the vegetables will get sour and moldy if you leave them out of the frig too long. Why don't you decide what you are going to do with them?
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
Because if you are hungry, you will probably end up getting frustrated. The best thing to do is take a minute to evaluate the situation, then decide which size pizza to order, the giant 18-inch, or should we order the small instead of the large?
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
Because they had so much experience, this was going to be extremely funny: Each person must get up, turn to the person on his right, look him in the eye, And say," WE'VE GOT SPIRIT, YES WE DO!
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
Just to get some peace to study, Xander decided to make some ear plugs. But all he could find to make them with was paper mache'. But he ran out of that, too, and didn't have any more newspapers to soupify to make more, so he started tearing pages of his roommate's textbook.
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
Have you no respect for running into the back of me?? Look at that big dent! Why, it is as big as a polar bear! Or as big as they were before they let all the water out of the pool, they decided to wash the dog, so they soaped him up and then poured over him a bucket of chum in the backseat."
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
There's something most people have never heard of, as they go about their ordinary lives, everyone is stumped about what in the world a stump vine is!
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
The only container I could find was a big plastic laundry basket. One big one should be all I need. More than that would mean I would have to spend the next 3 hours sorting it!
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
Get cartons of them at Costco and store them in shoeboxes which were then shoved under the bed, next to the pile of slush the dog fell into! it was actually mighty spicy!! However, I must add more hot if I'm going to have a snowball fight, I need to build a fort! And I will build it out of lots of catnip and wine.
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
It had disappeared ! Maybe we should look for it in the shoe store! I know there are tons of photos to go through and sort.
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
Rearranging the packages I was carrying, put them all off balance and I dropped all of them right into a pool of exceeding clarity. Twenty feet below, I could see the dim sparkle of my diamond watch which had slipped off my wrist. Now what?! I gingerly circumnavigated the sharp rocks and came upon an enormous double cheeseburger.
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
The best way to tackle tedious jobs like that is to sit down with a BIG glass of wine and ponder for a while.
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
But that's so difficult to do when your eyes are so blurry after cataract surgery! If only I had gone to a reputable mafioso, I would have been able to get a successful hit ordered for the guy who makes all the deliveries. They're so busy this time of year, one guy has to drive two trucks!
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
I decided to find out, so I set up a roadside stand at the end of our driveway, and started waving down every third driver in the Indy 500. It was chaos! Drivers yelling, managers yelling, the crowd yelling, everywhere there was space to put a composter! Decisions, decisions. Where would be the perfect place to put this bowl of fresh tomatoes grown with my wonderful compost?
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
Apparently someone doesn't know how to use a manual transmission. It's okay, though, they'll clean up the spill on aisle 4. Here comes the guy with the mop now ! He agilely bent over and handed a bouquet of flowers to a little girl.
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
That was the last straw! He had had it! He was mad as hell, and wasn't going to take a long time to get through all that! So take a deep breath and enjoy the wonderful fall smell of burning leaves and the aromatic essence of powdered Dramamine, which helped keep my lunch down as the plane bounced and quivered its way to jump altitude.
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
And look at the price tag! It cost over $ 500. Worth every penny! Not only was it useful for safely snagging escaped animals, you could also use it for compost. And when Spring comes, gently layer it around the exposed dirt. The next thing to do is to take some string and weave a hanging basket.
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
I was satisfied with that, so then I sprayed the tomatoes with a solution to kill the blight. I found the recipe in a plant book: You mix beer, baking soda, and then add a cup of Miracle-Gro. Spray it with a mixture of epsom salts, garlic juice, and a little bit of crushed eggshells.
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
I picked one out and looked closely and crawling out of it, I saw a grayish-white shadow. I thought I could see through it. Was it a ghost? Uncertain, I reached out my hand and gingerly nudged the doughnut. It seemed to be moving by itself!
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
Who knows when another hurricane will come through or maybe an ice storm? Because if that happened we would all have to go back to writing cards and letters. How different that was!
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
ME WANT COOKIE! GIMME COOKIE!! his name must be stricken from the Lamb's Book of Life. That'll teach 'em! It was going to be a whirlwind adventure, scenic, and of course buying lots of tickets: to the movies, to the amusement park, and to go to the back of the bus where you can be alone so you can read your fortune cookie!
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
That is a perfect recipe for thin crust Pizza a la Greg. Who want a piece? Ethan will be glad to help you if you find your wallet is straining to hold all that money. First, we'll go out to lunch. Then we'll get a new phone. Then we'll get a PS4.
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
Disappointed and frustrated, I determined that the cosine of a right angle is equal to the length of the adjacent line divided by the hypotenuse.
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
Then I added multi-colored sprinkles and a few well-placed dabs of icing. Decorating is the part that's the most fun.
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
It sure tasted good! But an hour later I couldn't feel my feet they were throbbing so badly! So, I sat down to eat some calories before attempting the climb. Other important preparations include wearing thick socks, sturdy shoes,and drinking bottles and bottles of water.
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
Everything is so cold, so frozen, so depressing! I need to travel to a warm clime, and bask in the humid warmth of the American South. Animals you could expect to see include Kangaroos and Koala Bears!
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
That job took you to the back room to show you where to sit and how long it will take for the next assignment. In fact it should take about this long: 15 and a half femtoseconds. You would need a pulsed X-ray laser to measure that time frame! It could also measure each kid to make sure the desks were the right size.
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
I got yer new year's resolution right here!!" I cackled as I popped the champagne bottle to test it. The cork went flying through the air and landed in the punch bowl!
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
What's that, you say? Well, say you resolve to go jogging every morning. You make an agreement that every morning this person will cry a river of tears, because of thankfulness that you made such a positive difference!
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
Forthwith, they will be taken to the Salvation Army depot. From there they will be handed out to homeless people. What will they do with them? Obviously, they will put them in the refrigerator asap. Chop! Chop! Once they get good and cold, they will be ready for pickup!
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
But the plumber was allergic to walnuts! He went into anaphylactic shock and died. Oh well, more brownies for us. And we soon had enough to make brownies with.
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
Behind him was sunlight. He checked his INVENTORY. It held a Book, a Knife, a...shoot! He dropped his torch and it sputtered, going out in moments. He was left in utter darkness and promptly eaten by a grue.
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
It's a good thing I was wearing my boots. The cave floor was piled high with years of bat guano. The stench was unbearable and permeated every corner of the room. We needed a room freshener bad !! So I sprayed the room with a can of Whoop-Ass!
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
So I picked these three people: Gandhi, Einstein, and Owen Wilson. I figured that third choice made perfect sense because he had just eaten a loaf of bread the size of his head. He then extemporaneously launched into song. he declared, "And it's dedicated to freezing peoples' brains so they can be revived at a later date.
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
That will mean fewer times you have to refill the pitcher at your lemonade stand.
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
Last time we had an all-night video game marathon, the beer alone cost me all the money I made mowing lawns all summer!
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
Wow! I just saw the BEST movie of all time! Only, I don't think anyone else understood why I went to the movies even though I was blind! They didn't realize that my excellent sense of hearing allowed me to pick up even the slightest nuance of sound, and my vivid imagination I never would have guessed she would DIE from it!
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
Put your hands behind your back stalked a ninja! He was there the ENTIRE TIME! When I realized that, I began to run as fast as I could to get home.
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
Nearby there was a lurking police car. People should know better than to cook a bowl of noodles for lunch in the middle of defeating the giant cave troll, I found I needed quickly to scrub that off before it stained.
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
Good hygiene is always optional when skydiving. It's not like anyone can smell you at 10,000 feet! But by the time you finish your last task, you have run out of time and lost all your money causing you to giggle with delight.
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
Peter picked a peck of pickled quail eggs. The secret to winning the eating contest is, before the start bell sounds, separate out all the smallest lambs to put into the new Minecraft corral handily built by none other than Jack! He gets into everything!
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
Someone must have manually opened the seal! Now contamination will leak into the pantry and make the sacks of flour wet and the cans of soup rust. Then you will be safely high enough to escape the impending tsunami. We could see it coming it the far distance!
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
That's why he put all his underwear into zip-lock bags. Nobody wants strangers pawing through his underwear drawer.
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
At any rate, there was nothing to do now but include them in the meal. I didn't have time now to baste the turkey. Drat!
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
When I heard that City of Heroes was in danger of shutting down, I got so mad that I slammed the door; the shock rattled the shelf and down to the floor fell a beaker full of precious golden rings.
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
I then went inside the Quicky-Mart and got some Pepsi, beef jerky, Andy Capps hot fries, and some curly ribbon fell behind the couch and got tangled with the golden tresses of Rapunzel, which she had cast out her tower window after he unwrapped the last present he put all the bows and wrapping paper into a large roomy cabin near the front of the plane.
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
I had dozens of them, piled everywhere! They smelled like rotting potatoes. It was horrible. I tried to scoop them up with a long-handled metal scythe that we got from Reapers 'R' Us.
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
I took the strands out of the bag and placed them one by one on the shooting gallery. Kids paid $1 to take turns using an Airsoft rifle to try and knock them down. I kept this up for almost an hour before the store managers realized what I was doing and chased me off, but by that time I had earned enough points to get a prime rib sandwich free at WaWa, they were all out!
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
It was a quiet, bright morning in Uptown Suburbia, USA. I went outside to water my plants, when suddenly I heard the deep guttural voice of a zombie! It scared me so badly that I screamed, " Where's my money, you silly stupid old fool?" Since he was no Jimmy Stewart fan, the zombie jumped out of the monitor and uttered a gravelly :) voice at me, and said right into my ear, "
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
Anything that didn't get sold would become kindling for the bonfire that would be against my better judgment to put the white underwear into the same drawer as the colored butterflies streamed through the sewer line so fast that everyone thought, " We shouldn't need a snow shovel to clear this space, but it sure would be terrible if the vacuum were set on blow!
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
But to attach them, we needed to use our most skulky ninja tactics in order to get the brown hat to its next destination. We surrepticiously crossed the street and found a a secret cave lined with dozens of bats and hundreds of poopy tax return pages. "Hmm, he must have run out of TP and used this instead."
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
It all started when Ethan ran into the living room to take a swing in Greg's new hanging chair, only to discover that he had forgotten his Prozac. He was starting to get psycho just thinking about it!
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
Just how do you intend to take out the eyeball and lay it on the cheek just long enough to read the eye chart perfectly. Better than perfect, in fact!" The doctor beamed and said "Your vision is 20 over 200 and you are definitely a candidate for surgery.
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
What a revolting development! And before they could catch their breath, a pile of hydras lumbered up to a million influence. Cool! and by then my hand was so sore from playing City of Heroes I had to take a break! Now all of Paragon City was in jeopardy as the Destructotron unleashed its pulverizing power to such an extent that all the Outcasts found themselves knee deep in muck in Perez Park.
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
I knew I had to think fast. ready! Let the battle begin! The music started, and then slowly emerging onto the screen was a giant box! I knew it was full of video games which I had ordered.
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
But the truck bed was full of big fat earthworms--so big and fat that they looked like mashed up tatters of former flowers.
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
Melodic crooning by the likes of Barry Manilow were interrupted by a big knock-down, drag-out cat fight. Wow, the fur did fly! Next thing you know there was a computer virus on the screen, taunting you! It even took control of the speakers, and it was saying "Santa Claus is coming to town"
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
A female deer! Re! A golden drop of perspiration gently made a rivulet down my forehead and off the tip of my spoiler! That's how slippery this car is. It moves through air like a hot knife through butter.
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
I was going to need surgery. This would be the first time I'd ever been operated on.
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
Rogers of Mr. Rogers Windows! Did you know that poor-quality windows could cost you a bundle in heating bills? That's why I always read the Dilbert cartoon as soon as I get to work. That turns out to be the best part of the day for me because he makes me feel like I'm in control of my financial destiny.
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
As soon as possible, I needed to go really bad! I could the pressure building in my lower abdomen.
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
Actually it is harder than quantum physics! That's why one time I was talking to Dr. Stephen Hawking and he said "Isn't that something! Isn't that something! We started laughing hilariously and we had to enunciate to be understood. If you mispronounce something you could really offend somebody by saying something you didn't intend.
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
He ran inside the house to call the electric company because the power seemed to be off. He kept plugging in lights but instead of coming on, they would just explode like a long string a chinese firecrackers.
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
In fact, it actually smelled like fertilizor! Confused, I said, " Please don't eat me! I promise to stay out of your way, and believe me, you'll never know that I used a degreazor!
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
He cracked his knuckles and proceded to sing their little hearts out. and then they weren't sure what to do with the toothpicks. Nonchalantly, they looked around for the nearest restroom, not wanting to look in dire need, even though they certainly felt satisfied!
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
For dessert I asked for English Trifle, a scrumptuous dessert of whipped cream, fresh fruit, and sponge cake soaked with nervous sweat.
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
Thoroughly disgusted, we threw up our arms and shouted, "THIS STORE SUCKS!!" Needless to say, the manager had never heard such beautiful singing in his life. He smiled, sat down and boo-hooed right there in the mall.
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
"Those are out of circulation!" Bill exclaimed. the customer replied smugly. "It's legal tender. See? It says right here: "This product may contain peanuts and for those persons with allergies, it may cause severe difficulty in operating a vehicle or other heavy equipment!"
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
Everyone turned their attention to us and the farmer (who was very creative about recycling) used old tires to start a bonfire.
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
"Well, not exactly..." I said. "I don't have any idea what you are talking about.
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
Would it help if I released the emergency brake? She smiled sweetly and pushed the button that sent them all hurtling into a black hole.
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
"Wow!" I exclaimed when my turn came to say Wow! Ah just kidding! The new teacher was quite a knock-out! Really! Her hair was silver blonde and reached all the way to her cell phone, to call her geeky son. Fortunately he was home. "Hey! she whispered quickly. he exclaimed.
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
This is so versatile, you can even use it to shell hard-boiled eggs. Let me demonstrate, Kent." Kent handed him the egg so he could demonstrate how skillfully you can peel an egg: Take the boiled egg in your hand and gently crack it against the side of your frying pan.
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
We went to Outdoor World and found 2 very dirty diapers behind the bookcase. Ewww! Smelly! And the Welcome Wagon ladies were already coming up my front steps! The quickest thing I could do was put them into a big cardboard box. If I hurried, I could get to Warehouse Store and buy another 1000 diapers before they go to college!
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
I just hate having to pick up all their 10-pound weights on the floor. I mean it. They must be major weightlifters because that's exactly what it sounds like: dumbells on the floor next to my barbell and other weight equipment.
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
I know it will be cool in there, and who knows? We might find some interesting local folks to talk to. They always have lots of salty snacks handy and lots of little packages of sweet cakes made with 100% extra-virgin olive oil.
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
The clock was ticking and I was snoozing! I'd better get out of bed and get going, or I'll be wearing my Dale Earnhardt jumpsuit. Nobody can match my collection of his memorabilia.
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
And when you go be sure you ask the customer service person there, how to install a low-flow toilet.
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
Every time I see them my appetite goes through the roof! I could eat them all day, breakfast lunch and dinner.
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
It would take half the night to count all the coins! When it is time to go to the bank, I am sure we will NEVER MISS any of this stuff!
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
The noise of the numberless engines would shake the earth. We would look out to the horizon and see all our parachutes flying out the window! OH NO!
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
And what's more, your nose is too much to resist. This is why I never go into CompUSA unsupervised." I nodded, and added, " Boy! Am I a Dork! Can you tell that I am a MENSA member? My IQ is higher than my weight." "Oh really? she said with a wink. Great googlely-mooglely...that was just about the nicest thing anyone had ever said!
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
"What??" I exclaimed. "Why would I need to order x-rays? Clearly the problem is an occluded colon. This sort of thing happens if you don't eat enough fiber, and then load up on cheese pizza.
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
That's why you have to have a wide base, or else a strong foundation, if you're going to make it that tall. So to save floor space, you could try cement ing your mouth shut and let me do the thinking, OK? Now it should be simple to fix. All I have to do is take all this extra cat litter and put it in the display case at the local Pet Store.
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
If you don't do it correctly, you will have me to deal with!" With that, we all started booking the wallpaper so the glue would prep correctly. Five minutes later the glue had hardened like week-old oatmeal.
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
First to Home Depot to load up with materials, plus take a class to teach me how to install a new toilet. I decided to put it in the garbage disposal to see what would happen.
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
Her favorite thing to talk about is how she's going to marry that new recruit that she met from talking to on the phone, if they survive the latest mission, that is." That's life in the Space Marines!!!
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
Yeee-haw! As pure jet fuel sprayed into the turbine combustion chambers, their heads snapped back as the pilot yelled, "yeeee-oouch!...that's gonna hurt in the morning". immediately started rubbing his neck and said "Ouch!
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
I asked for extra cheese, Cause let me tell you, I'm not in it for the pepperoni, man! Not the sauce! I'm not in it for the crust, I'm in it for the long haul.
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
For this I prefer to use a non-stick pan, as opposed to a stick pan. I'll hold these two examples up so you can see the difference. (Crowd goes "Ooooh!) Also, I prefer to use a plastic spatula, as opposed to eating what you fix right in front of the audience.
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
It's the soundtrack of life. You gotta have a belt with those pants if you don't want to be holding them up all day! You'll see what I mean after you blow your nose a few times.
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
She smiled and said "Don't use that cream for your coffee, because I think it is time to switch to decaf!" She then quit, and got a job at the Farmer's Market selling vegetables.
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
I think I should sit out the next one and work out a new lodging arrangement. and chuckled nervously.
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
"Quick! To the Toiletmobile!" Captain Underpants and his sidekick Angel Soft jumped in the vehicle, and roared off to the water treatment plant! Unfortunately, once they got there, they discovered that Colonel Colon had eaten ALL the Grape-Nuts!
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
I gave them to Xander and Ethan to throw away. They enthusiastically ran outside and threw them into the washing machine!
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
It's all about finding the sources of disposable cellphones. See, in the future, so many people had been using disposable cellphones that the landfills were overflowing with them and people were dying in disposable cellphone avalanches.
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
After he recovered from his coma he discovered he had a new ability: he had heightened awareness of a person's inclinations-- good or evil.
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
Ah the warm desert air blowing from the west, bringing with it a great deal of heat. I wished I'd brought my sunglasses with me. I checked for other supplies: bandoliers, ammo, and flak jackets. Once the weather got really hot them Yankee-land touristers might come hunting for your A/C, and you gotta be prepared.
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
We knew we had to max out our credit cards immediately. That would not be too hard, since I'd already decided what to get for everyone. So I got out my list and crossed everything off. "Everyone's getting Jolly Ranchers this year!"
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
I wonder who thought up that idea. It must have been Mr. Fleschmarkt who authorized that!
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
How cute! His big brown eyes were gazing toward the girl relaxing on the park bench, eyes closed, gently rocking her head in time with whatever music was playing on her headphones.
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
He doesn't deserve half the credit he's getting on this dig, and I intend to catalog every single piece of bone that I can find unlike the other slacker diggers who every day haphazardly would just come along, completely disregarding any scholarly integrity, and REFILL the holes with dirt from various random locations , because we couldn't seem to find a single location that met all our criteria for what we had in mind for the recruitment ad.
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
I need one so bad that I can't wait any longer for someone to help me! I'm going to climb up to the top shelf and get one myself! With that, I checked that no one was looking and threw my M&M's wrapper into the display toilet. But just as I turned around a man in a green overall quickly began to fall!
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
Point out to me what you are choosing: to live a normal life, or to waste away like an orchid in Death Valley. Because that's where you are, you know-- but try not to think about it. It's counter-productive. Stay focused on eating everything in sight.
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
On the walls were several works of art, but they were mounted right on the dry wall! "What idiot did this?" She shrieked. "You haven't even seen the rooftop gardens yet!" and this time, do it right. We could present movies in professional comfort for up to 30 people. On the walls were several works of art, but they were mounted right on the dry wall!
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
Then it's back to the gym to practice yoga and sip nutritional frothy ice cream sodas! "I can't believe we get such a treat! It's 5:00pm! It's almost time for my backward-spinning atomic dragon kick!"
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
What a prize! I bet I could sell them on E-Bay for at least a hundred hours. At the conclusion of it all, we were exhausted and hungry. So we went to the front of the line to show our voter cards.
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
They were getting tired of all that harrassment. Yeah, and how about that possum! Always eating all their expensive IAMS and bowls of sugar!
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
Frowning, we decided we could first try vacuuming up all the fragments of dried vomit. If they aren't stuck to the upholstery.
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
Then he would celebrate with a big scream, which merged into tears which shot straight out for four feet, and led to snot rivers from the nose to the chin.
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
And where would I start? I made a path toward the window when suddenly I saw a large water-stained cardboard box with bulging sides.
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
Bricks were flying , windows shattering, the asphalt rippled and disintegrated with every impact. the Hulk bellowed, "But the Hulk is strongest there is! Me prove it! Me dumb. Me stupid. Me go the wrong way on a one-way street. Me knock you into the middle of the walls of the building across the alleyway!"
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
That we're all a bunch of slack-jawed faggots. If we're going to regain any shred of respect we're going to have to take a stand! Together! I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. The voice of the people will not be ignored!
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
How it gleamed in the mid-afternoon light. Mesmerized, I reached out to touch it. "NINJA!" Startled, I turned around to see a Ferris wheel toppling over, about to smash dozens of people into tiny bits! I screamed for help! Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone. As I turned, the figure yelled, "NINJA!"
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
Hurricane Bonnie had wiped out all of the office staff.
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
Get ready to mash those soybeans and mold the tofu into shapes resembling flowers. Admittedly, that artistic effort, combined with the variety of color in the salad made it extraordinarily beautiful.
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
What could beat that?!! Now to wash our hands. Let's use this Spanish-English dictionary to figure out what the heck they're saying! I have no idea how to get to the Transportation Museum. I want to see the Pullman cars again and sit on the sofas made from styrofoam and gasoline.
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
"How beautiful are the deep pools of blue that are your eyes. I lose myself into their depths; I am drowning in your face, that's where I'm putting this custard pie." (SPLAT!) The class all laughed, because they knew she was just not the type.
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
Mentally focused, and calling on all my leg muscles, I sprang up to the edge of the pit and was able to pull myself out before the avalanche of rocks smashed into where'd I'd been moments before.
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
I said, smiling. "No thanks." I tried to be polite but firm. No one in his right mind would ever think of charging $100 for an old rug! "I'm not paying that much!" I told him! he waved me away as he threw his creaky voice back over his shoulder.
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
We will be on top of the world! Good thing we are going by helicopter, because it would take too long to travel in a hot-air balloon, of course!
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
Did you hear the one about the two atoms walking along? Yeah, One says to the other, "I think I lost an electron!"
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
Next we had to kill the hogs to make bacon and sausage. Granddaddy would put his fingers in his ears because he did not want to hear the gunshot. Then everyone would join in to cut up the lard and use it to fry the bacon, sausage, eggs, toast, and soup.
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
I said. "It's so humid and hot here. I'm so sweaty." Everyone agreed and started looking around. "Look at all these fossilized bones. I wonder how old they really are. Would they be as old as me?" She shook her head, and replied "I imagine these dinosaurs are at least 100 years old.
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
No interlopers in this garden! You can count on me to take care of all the weeds, because I know what a weed looks like. It looks like a cross between a marigold and a dandelion.
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
So he started singing: "Zippidy doo-dah, zippidy-ey, my o' my what a wonderful day just the kind of day for a hot rod race on the open road. Start your engines!"
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
"We have a very serious problem the trucking company just delivered 500 pounds of pork chops to the Jewish banquet hall. There is pandemonium over there, and right now we are in dire need of a plan, a strategy, to bring down the tyrannical International Village, despite our being heavily outmanned and outgunned."
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
Next time I see you I will give you $20, but only if you can seat us in a better part of the restaurant.
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
I'm really getting tired and hungry. I want a Brown Mule. Let's go find an ice cream freezer in this place, and look in it to see if we can find some quarters so we can play a few final video games before we have to go."
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
We called them poots. And that was always a funny subject. The third fact is farts are stinky. Sometimes they can be REALLY stinky!
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
"How do they expect us to eat this mess?! No wonder they call it the Mess Hall! Hey, let's ask the sargeant if we can get pizza delivered! I want extra cheese on mine. What would you want on yours?" "A spoiler, chromed blower, and a fire-engine red paint job!"
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
And enthusiastically reached all around each other, jumping up and down and laughing. His anger turned to confusion. There was no escape. The joyful ringing of their laughter reached all the way to Route 17. Traffic was stopping just to listen. Pretty soon the whole parking lot was full of chicken nuggets!
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
Some were nibbling jelly doughnuts and drinking coffee; some perusing the Wall Street Journal, and some were just livid that tuition had gone up again. They were hopping and down, yelling " FIRE! FIRE! Get out of the building! There's no time to lose! You must hurry because there's a bomb threat!
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
One can never be too careful. For example, if you are going to take a ride in a car, you should always wear your mouse fur coat. 300 mice died to provide you with that stylishly avant-garde attire, and don't let them forget it.
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
Mystified, they cautiously approached the abandoned roller coaster.
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
And that's ALL I NEED! And my pup tent. In case it rains. And that's ALL I NEED! And this chair. And that's ALL I NEED. And this dead battery. And this rock.
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
BE QUIET! BE QUIET! BE QUIET!" And then he yelled it again with even more emphasis," REVENGE IS SWEET, AND A DISH BEST SERVED COLD!!"
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
And just then the drugs kicked in and then the convulsions started. "Oh, no!" My friends said, "Quickly, turn off the electricity before she's fried!" I lunged for the power switch, but just then there was a loud explosion outside the meditation room!
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
I"m the new cook at Burger King! I get to get up way early and open. I get to spread big slabs of lard on the grill, before I start frying the sausage.
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
Then you dip them in chocolate, and roll them in crushed walnuts. When they are all finished, you place them carefully on a doily and garnish them with breath-freshening parsley. Parsley isn't given nearly enough press for its natural, chemical-free breath-freshening qualities.
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
The wounded combatants looked at each other and said, " You killed my father! You killed my brother! Now... I'll kill YOU!" And with that, they clapped the dust off their hands, clapped each other on the shoulders in appreciation and camaraderie, and clapped a leather helmet on everybody's head.
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
He decided to put all his savings into that new tech stock that everyone was raving about. And the name of it was "Ackerson Savings & Loans & Stuff". It had been in business for 20 years, but it had to be demolished to make way for a Stop-n-Go.
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
Is it programmed for a target?! Oh no! It is headed for a crash! Unable to steer, her frustration at the malfunction gave way to panic as the obstacle loomed ahead, a giant miasmic mix of sulfuric and methane gases, swirling, boiling, reaching out for the next great leader in the cataclysmic battle for galactic supremacy.
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
No more slogging away in the hot wheat fields for me! Now I must needs go don my chain mail so patiently chained for me by Lady Man.
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
Natasha, a close associate of Elsington, claimed to have been an eyewitness. Barrister argued that because Lord Elsington was hungry he was justified in his theft. However the prosecutor Miss Na Tasha exploded in a verbal fog of circumlocutions and luscious loquaciousness, followed by a veritable swamp of laconic stillness.
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
He waved at him, and yelled, "Where did you graduate from? Podunk U.?!! Your degree must have been written with invisible ink!" He started to sit down, but then yelled again, " but still no luck.
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
Rubbing her sore shoulder, she asked the nearest patron "What does a girl have to do to get some service around here?!" Her manner frightened the man somewhat, so he stammered Woo Baby, I just wet my pants! Guess I will have to stop laughing so hard at your funny eulogy. I mean, he didn't even mention the name of the deceased!
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
So near, in fact, he nervously checked his ticket stub to make sure he wasn't late for the previews. he wasn't. In fact, he still had enough time to play another game of Warlords Battlecry. Being only 10 battles away from finishing another campaign, he was anxious to see which orb he would get next.