Betty's Turn-Down Game

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Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
Can you not see that bird's nest? In that tree, right up there! You can see it, right next to the big ferris wheel. Whee! Let's go ride it! We can see the whole countryside and we can see all the people in the truck stop, staring at the calendar, realizing it's only a few days before Summer!
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
It's like a cry for help, or something. All this stuff had to be bagged and filed as evidence. We had a big job ahead of us: figuring out how to get in a vehicle fast enough to outrun the sun as it moved from east to west.
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
This kind of lichen is edible! Look how much there is, we could eat all day!" I nearly gagged at the idea. "I'm not really hungry," I said, " 2 bites and I am full. However I will never turn down a big bowl of Whoop-Ass!
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
When they answered the phone, they said "We don't want any." Then they slammed down the phone, jumped up and down, and stomped into the mud room. Most people's mud rooms have a bench where you can sit down and take off your muddy boots before you go into the house.
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
Would you pass the TV remote control? I need to find out what the score is. I guess I could find out on my phone, but turkey grease had dripped all over it. We're headed for the Mexican border. Would you pass the TV remote control?
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
Sometimes these opportunities happen unexpectedly, so I headed out to the Xander/Boppy burning pit to strike a match to one bag of paper trash and to another bag that held the other albums Mannheim Steamroller was famous for: Christmas Extraordinaire. They made five of those.
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
But chocolate is chocolate, and I had earned it. As I licked my fingers clean, I wondered did I still need to wash them before I played Clash of Clans on my phone? Eh, it'll be all right.
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
Crouching down to drink, they discovered that the radiation coming from the ocean was off the charts. Something massive and unprecedented was stirring beneath the surface, and it was probably angry. It was impossible to deny: Sweet dreams are made of cheese / Who am I to dis a brie?
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
Maybe catnip would help. So I made a catnip tea and put out 2 bowls of it. After drinking their fill...woohoo! they then proceeded to let loose a tremendous battle cry, striking fear into the hearts of their enemies.
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
I barely got 30 pages into Atlas Shrugged." He then went back to playing his video game, and I was left to my own devices as far as getting the electricity going again in the house. It was dark, I could not play my games, all in all, I felt like I had been hit by a Mack truck going 80 mph.
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
It was then I finally realized as I reflected on everything that had happened, that this had truly been the best Christmas ever! And everyone vowed, "I won't stop until I get my revenge on you!" It was then I finally realized as I reflected on everything that had happened, that this had truly been the best Christmas ever!
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
Well, I didn't. I will blame it on Smokey the Bear and his trusty cohort in crime, namely The Cheat--a strange, small creature skilled in stealth and thievery.
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
Bewildered by so many things we had never encountered before, we knew this was only the beginning of the end. Streaking fire fell from the sky, and portals opened in the earth, from which spilled the uncountable, writhing forms of extradimensional creatures.
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
I think the best remedy would be to spray a powerful broad spectrum commercial mold remover and disinfectant. That should remove all concern about anybody going through my trash.
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
Hmmm. Well, it did not matter because the power had gone out and it did not work anyway. I just hoped they knew how to fill out an unemployment form, because at the rate they're going, they're going to need to! In the last hour they emptied the cash registers into special bank bags and took them all to task on proper upsale technique.
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
Mesmerized, we ate popcorn and drank beer while the spectacle continued. Eventually we ran out of mushroom booze. Granted, the stuff makes you hallucinate, but it tastes like liquid gold. I couldn't imagine walking one more mile without at least a gallon of the stuff on hand, so I started scrounging around for old rags to wipe up the spilled lemonade and the big pool of melted popsicles.
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
How could they all possibly fit in the cabinet under Boppy's sink?
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
That sounded good, but I had to wonder if there would be enough butter pecan ice cream to go around. I mean there were a lot of people here, and it looked as if every single one of them had brought their A-game.
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
HOW ABOUT A NICE SPRINKLING OF HOT HOT HOT SRIRACHA SAUCE !!!" That will make everybody want to go to the Alamo!
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
I am sure he won't mind if we use it to insulate the garden from the cold. Another good way to do that would be to sprinkle that special salt all over the road. That makes driving safer because I was wearing my hiking boots that had traction straps stretched around them.
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
I've been waiting for at least 60 minutes we were in a quandary of what to do... We finally decided to DIG IN! MMMM! DELICIOUS! I'm starving!!! I've been waiting for at least 60 minutes we were in a quandary of what to do... We finally decided to DIG IN!
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
Any minute now the UPS man will come down the street in his brown truck and deliver multiple packages full of those plastic air-filled cushions. Excellent! Now we're stocked up for some New Year's Eve stompin' noisy fun! Now all we need are some light refreshments and light classical music.
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
So everyone worked together to assemble them. Using ribbon and shrink wrap, I wrapped up all the junk I had found into neat little parcels and then advertised them on Ebay as "Mystery Gifts".
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
Move-in day! We all got to see Xander's room for the very first time! It's on the second floor, overlooking the placid lake, so blue and relaxing, and what is that swimming over the surface?
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
Have you no respect for running into the back of me?? Look at that big dent! Why, it is as big as a polar bear! Or as big as they were before they let all the water out of the pool, they decided to wash the dog, so they soaped him up and then poured over him a bucket of chum in the backseat."
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
she said gravely, "It is real." Somber, she looked straight into my eyes for a moment. she said gravely, "It is real." I shouted. Somber, she looked straight into my eyes for a moment. she said gravely, "It is real."
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
Ain't nobody got time for that! My mind started going through all the things I could be doing instead: playing Minecraft, watching Youtube videos, I could even see the stains had all but disappeared!
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
We gathered all of that together and put them in a laundry basket." These are handy to have around & have many uses. The ideal number to have for a typical household is two dozen.
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
With its comfortable grip and good balance and accuracy, this pistol would be a good choice for wearing on the plane. Remember it gets cold on the plane, so you would probably need to holster it." With that, he turned on his heel and and phoned for the men in white to bring a strait jacket.
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
I gingerly circumnavigated the sharp rocks and came upon an enormous double cheeseburger. It must have weighed two pounds. It almost covered the plate! Next to it was a plastic pot containing a pitiful plant, nearly dead from lack of internet service.
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
I resolve to think before I speak and bite my tongue if I feel inclined to improve myself. First I took a personality test and I turned out to be an introvert. So I thought I would work on that and turned to the person next to me, and I said to him "
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
I started avidly looking for it, and found it just where I had hidden it: inside a box. And that box was hidden inside the computer tower! What a great hiding place!
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
I had to wait about two weeks. Then, once I found my shovel and a bucket, it was time to start to start bagging up the compost to sell at our roadside stand.Per bag, the price would start at $159.00 Some may say that's high, but it's worth it because good compost does not stink !
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
Apparently someone doesn't know how to use a manual transmission. It's okay, though, they'll clean up the spill on aisle 4. Here comes the guy with the mop now ! He agilely bent over and handed a bouquet of flowers to a little girl. Surprised, she tried to scrape off the slimey skin but underneath she was shocked to find a handful of rare and fragrant Allegra roses!
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
He had had it! He was mad as hell, and wasn't going to take a long time to get through all that! So take a deep breath and enjoy the wonderful fall smell of burning leaves and the aromatic essence of powdered Dramamine, which helped keep my lunch down as the plane bounced and quivered its way to jump altitude.
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
Another stupid bunch of words. Who writes this stuff?? I wouldn't be surprised if the author was Mr. John James, former front man of Newsboys, another Aussie rock band which barely predates Dig Hay Zoose.
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
I carried it over to the Speights to see what their opinion would be. And Danny exclaimed, " They're HUGE!" Unexpectedly, the plants were hit with a terrible blight which quickly made them perk up. I was satisfied with that, so then I sprayed the tomatoes with a solution to kill the blight.
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
You'll have to rely on supplements or special blended shakes fortified with lead?!?!? Seriously, lead?!?!? Who puts that in a box of chocolate covered cherries. I picked one out and looked closely and crawling out of it, I saw a grayish-white shadow.
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
too smart for me" !! I just gave up and started playing Soda Crush. A relaxing game that makes me feel insecure. The only thing that could settle my nerves now would be if I could take some time to remove all the apps I don't like.
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
When you're buying tickets for entertainment purposes, it's best if you just ignore this storyline because it does not have one. Who thought this up anyway?? It must have been Mr. Carrington, the newspaper deliveryman! He was known for being obnoxious to the nth degree.
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
Because you didn't eat your Wheaties or drink your whole milk. No wonder you feel weak and you don't want to see me when I'm angry. A better course of action would be to slap him in the face! Then yell, "Don't you dare ever do anything for you ever again!
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
Xander wanted to melt some aluminum cans, so he started by building a big round table for the knights of King Arthur! They had all gathered to dump and spread the compost all over the ground.
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
So, I decided to use paper liners this time, because the last time I didn't, and add any baking powder, so when I took them out of the oven, they looked like they would be delicious!
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
The clear sky released the oppressive heat, and stars started to blink on. I knew they only SEEMED closer...or were they really? It could also be caused by heavy and drenching downpours of rain which then froze over the entire Rock when the temperature suddenly dropped. The clear sky released the oppressive heat, and stars started to blink on.
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
Confident I'd be OK, I took a big bite and froze. Never in my life had I ever tasted anything so disgusting and horrible.
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
It could also measure each kid to make sure the desks were the right size. Sure enough, one kid was way too messy to read. on every paper except one, on which she wrote: "100%" She felt pleased whenever the students got all the questions right.
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
We are expecting at least 10,000 pounds of bacon being consumed at the synagogue open house. That's why we need to get a case of Champagne.
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
Keep up the good work! You know, nobody ever changed the world by sitting on a stack of steaming hot pancakes. and drizzle them with Sriracha hot sauce! And habanero sauce!
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
Second, you have to get someone to put their finger in the middle of a bow, so you can pull out just as much as you need. Next, take the scissors and curl the ribbon.
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
I went outside to get a fresh bucket of water, just in case it catches fire. With all the precautions in place, I threw caution to the wind and went for a spin in my Lamborghini Murcielago. sign because the fuzzy dize were blocking my view, and unfortunately the odor was overpowering.
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
That's what you get for asking the genie from the lamp for a million bucks! Now what?!! I called 911 and guess who answered! = Some guy in an elf costume! "HaHa! That's great!" I said, " Now I know my electric bill will go up!" I was kidding of course, but I knew now the county would surely waive the rule about no inflatables taller than 40 feet!
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
The doctor yelled. "We have to operate now! There's no time to climb down! Just jump! As soon as you get your balance, you can play Pac-Man with your feet ! Yes! It is possible and it will save your hands from getting that dreaded Ebola virus! Get away from me with those unwashed hands, those filthy clothes, those rock formations look suspicious."
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
Limitless options were available, as the soldier could make up his own scenario which would be programmed into the simulation computer. Several of the most hilarious suggestions included Don't forget your underwear.
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
My wife insisted I was being paranoid, but I had to be absolutely certain that the air conditioner would never break down again.
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
Now on both wrists I have to wear elastic harnesses attached to the ropes which connect to 220 outlets. This doesn't look good.
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
SHUT THAT OFF!" I yelled. Then some other people also stood up, put their hands over their hearts, and with great gusto, they sang "
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
Face down on the ground! Put your hands behind your back stalked a ninja! He was there the ENTIRE TIME! When I realized that, I began to run as fast as I could to get home.
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
There must have been hundreds of them! They were everywhere! They must have gone through 15 boxes of Saltine crackers! After that, all they could think about was getting to Pop's before it closed, so they could each buy a ticket to ride in the new roller coaster, "Maximus Vomitorium", designed by a team of students.
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
Quick!! Get on him, before he prepared the meal. Good hygiene is always optional when skydiving. It's not like anyone can smell you at 10,000 feet! But by the time you finish your last task, you have run out of time and lost all your money causing you to giggle with delight.
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
One day he's building a house, the next day he's planting magic beans, the next thing you know he's carrying a pail of water up a hill ! But was it distilled or well water? To test it, we inserted a non-compete clause into the document.
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
We went to the dealership, looked into the showroom, and we saw a brand spanking new Interstellar G9X Ion-Charged Singularity Accelerator. This thing could wipe out a whole solar system.
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
First you have to locate your luggage. You know it is in the attic, but when you look for it, instead you find luggage with broken wheels. A better strategy is just to start fresh! Get organized! Go for gold! With a GQ (genetic quotient) this high, Jerome Morrow was never meant to be one step down on the podium.
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
Hah!" But it so happens that actually works out better, because Waffle House is open 24 hours! Even on Thanksgiving! Now doesn't a bacon Philly cheesesteak sound good right now instead of an ol' plastic one. This is the time to break out the nice tableware!
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
Those nasty little roaches were everywhere! Someone must have left food in here! Ah, I found an old lunch bag! And in it were stale pieces of air. There wasn't enough oxygen to breathe! Gasp! He had to get out! He had to order pizza to be delivered to the lab and the toppings were a choice from four: The four edible choices were BBQ beef brisket, chicken tetrazini, grilled salmon, or a Popburger.
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
The stewardess offered us complimentary drinks as bubbly as she was. Before anyone would take any of the glistening, tempting flutes, I barked, "NO. That's not champagne. It's actually going to be a Midnight Madness Sale and we will certainly be going to it and after that we want to get a bite to eat at the newly opened wormhole in the fabric of space!"
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
Put them back into the empty egg cartons where they will be safe. Then put the egg cartons on top of the crates of rockets that we got from GI Joe's military surplus. For the love of all that's holy, don't bump them! That's a good egg.
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
oh, you know. You see them on TV coming out in the dark of night searching for brains to eat. When you see them coming you must floor it!
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
The reason must be that I ate too much brains! I don't have any room left for you." The zombie lumbered off and I knew I had to beef up my defenses in a big way.
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
For sure she wanted to get rid of the banana peels and apple cores strewn across the kitchen floor and all over Ethan's dresser.
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
Our story begins on a windy and cool, but bright, February day. This story is about a brown hat. Not just any brown hat, mind you, but specifically it was really a purple hat that was needed.
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
In retaliation we created even more heroes to fight in Paragon City! When we were finished we must have totaled at least 1000 kills in the 3 hours we spend running through the sewers.
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
I decided to get a second opinion. The new doctor examined me, and with a big smile on his face, said to me, " Boy are you in luck! Just today we got a whole shipment of dynamic proportions."
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
He jumped over a wall and landed in a huge pool of radioactive sludge. He was in a Vahzlizok strongold! He leapt to his feet, grinned from ear to ear and slammed the Death Wish Mortificator into the bottom of the Hydra's stomach.
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
I got home, opened the box, and inside I saw a giant strawberry! I could use it to make dessert with. I got my first 100 points with my first 100 kills. That was easy.
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
The packet I needed was still in the garage in the bucket next to the burning pile, where I throw all the weeds and pine needles and other detritus that needs to get burned up.
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
Then we could get the new halter and leash and put them on the backburner for now. I was way too busy to mess with them. that every day I need to load Oblivion and do some more killin'. More killin' means more XP and loot, which I'll need in order to keep the cats off the floor I built a neat wooden dining table complete with a covering of Chee-tohs dust.
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
Like a tax hike in a Democrat controlled Congress." I didn't want to argue, so I pretended to be listening to Bill O'Reilly on the radio. Too bad I didn't know that I was in the company of a red diaper doper baby who believed in God, who was the only one who could save him now!
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
I was going to need surgery. This would be the first time I'd ever been operated on. The note also said "What have you eaten lately? and these 2 lungs are the only ones you'll ever have, so you need to take care of them!
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
Rogers Windows! "Hey folks! I'm Mr. Rogers of Mr. Rogers Windows! Did you know that poor-quality windows could cost you a bundle in heating bills? That's why I always read the Dilbert cartoon as soon as I get to work. That turns out to be the best part of the day for me because he makes me feel like I'm in control of my financial destiny.
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
I peeked around and suddenly saw that someone was peeking back at me! It was none other than Mr. T, leaning out the window of his 1982 GMC van, yelling, "Get out of the road, sucka!" I ran toward the van to try and get his autograph, but he growled, "I ain't got time for your jibba-jabba, fool!"
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
It's not as easy as you think! Actually it is harder than quantum physics! That's why one time I was talking to Dr.
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
Just like the song goes: "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer... Take one down, and pass it around, ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer! Where are they coming from??
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
The forces of the 3rd Plutonian Defense Auxiliary were under attack by a Lazor Beam Hydra! It had 5 heads and couldn't spell!
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
But it was worth it, because life isn't measured in how many breaths you take, but in how many moments like these, I lift up a song, I lift up a love song, to Jesus! In moments like these, I'm sure glad I use Dial. Don't you wish everybody would have dressed up the way WE did?!!
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
But to my surprise, he snapped the cork out of the bottle of champagne out poured it on my pancakes. Famished, I dug in with reckless abandon. For dessert I asked for English Trifle, a scrumptuous dessert of whipped cream, fresh fruit, and sponge cake soaked with nervous sweat.
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
Why did you go and leave us alone? We searched the mall index to find a good place to eat, and we found the intriguing listing of "The 12 days of diarrhea.
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
Just a small faux pas, she thought. Well, think again!! The employee's eyes bugged out and he screamed "I want a refill! NOW!!!" But he didn't understand that we never clean off the tables unless the manager yells at us; which he usually does every hour: He yells, "
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
When we counted them we ended up with 1,416 pumpkins. That was more than enough to make some pumplin pie. We made enough for 50 people! So we invited the whole neighborhood, and when they all showed up we gave them a couple bucks and told them to go fetch us a newspaper. While we waited, the kids were able to play a beanbag game.
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
That's why I wear dorky clothes and spike my hair with glittery gel. Who knows? I might be spotted by the next agency of the Redundancy Department of Redundancy. I stepped through the door and fell through a hole in the floor! I landed in a mud puddle.
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
It's a little late to change course! The asteroid is too big. In less than one minute we would look out the window and see whether we can make the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs.
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
The one thing I learned from this was touch-typing on a split keyboard is really cool. Now take this CD and put it where the sun don't shine - cuz you're never gonna pass this course anyway. The one thing I learned from this was touch-typing on a split keyboard is really cool. HA! Now take this CD and put it where the sun don't shine - cuz you're never gonna pass this course anyway.
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
"You can't be serious! I know positively that these eggs are fresh! Break this one open and you will see why you should never cook with Spam on television."
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
If I hurried, I could get to Warehouse Store and buy another 1000 diapers before they go to college! So don't worry, everybody poops, more or less, and it all works out in the end.
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
They aren't just noisy, they are very dirty people too! I just hate having to pick up all their 10-pound weights on the floor. I mean it. They must be major weightlifters because that's exactly what it sounds like: dumbells on the floor next to my barbell and other weight equipment. My workout was over, and now I could hear them again playing their awful rap music.
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
Finally we were leaving the driveway! The car was packed to the gills with all sorts of gear for the trip: camera, food, maps, you name it. But I still had the feeling I wasn't in Kansas anymore...Maybe it was the mountains that painted the horizon or simply the fact that there wasn't a corn field in sight.
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
I panicked at first until I learned my suit was really fireproof. Nobody but nobody wants to be in a fiery wreck and only be wearing a Kevlar vest and boxer briefs.
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
So don't worry about flushing the toilet. We can wear nose plugs and burn the leftover sludge, even though everyone knows a better use for it would be to put it into a bucket beside the commode.
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
No one will know you. Everyone will think you are Shamu the Orca if you wear a tuxedo before your diet is accomplished.
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
There's a warning label. You give it to somebody, and when they open it, 20 bullfrogs will jump out! Won't they be surprised. But the really big surprise was that my daughter's decorated mud pies were selling like crazy! In fact we must have already sold at least 20 of them and our cash flow was now a total of about $3.25.
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
I knew perfectly well that we were over the coldest part of a TV dinner when you get it out of the microwave is always the center part. That's why you have to stir it it up, and the explosion was so BIG that I had to dive under a cloud was his nemesis, in a sneaky holding pattern.
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
But I could always give them to my friend, ________ Raul. He'll know what to do. I hope we never run out of pencil sharpeners because if we do, we will have to hire a bodyguard!"
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
My recommendation is have a cup of hot tea and a small plate of three soft chewy dog treats, the kind with little meaty bit in the middle." "Surely you don't mean for me to wear the hideous hospital gown in public, do you?!! Man! I would look like a model off the cover of one of those muscle man magazines!!
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
For example, on the second level there will be a round hole, facing a raging fireplace. Maybe it was a bad idea to build the cat condo prototype out of styrofoam. Because seconds later, all the cats were fast asleep!
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
If you don't do it correctly, you will have me to deal with!" With that, we all started booking the wallpaper so the glue would prep correctly. Five minutes later the glue had hardened like week-old oatmeal. And not Quaker Oatmeal, either; I'm talking about cheap, store-brand tools!
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
We were all standing around when the septic tank pumper truck pulled up. "I understand you need a staple gun to finish that project. and it will also help you store things." After all that hard work, the value of the property went up so much I got an offer I couldn't refuse, and I moved into a condo.
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
That's life in the Space Marines!!! Her favorite thing to talk about is how she's going to marry that new recruit that she met from talking to on the phone, if they survive the latest mission, that is."
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
Quickly, there is no time to waste! In a few seconds I will be unconscious from the lack of cabin pressure! I have to act quickly. I open the supply cabinet and what do I find? whoa, a flashback to me graduation party. I better get my head on straight because I have to be able to see out the cockpit window.
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
Because quitters never win, and winners never quit. And I'm a winner! I'm also a plumber and I really like going under people's houses. You can find some strange things, like one time I found a fly in my soup so I killed the whole town.
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
I have staff who will divide the German blood sausage into enough pieces so that everyone can have at least a Eastern European immigrant would have more good taste than the fresh-faced yahoos we've been putting on this show. To really improve tings feel free to add garlic -- 4 or 5 cloves.
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
and on the back it would say "got r00t?" Then everyone will know that you grew up in the Sixties. We can tell because your clothes look so cool, they have to be made in Greenland by eskimos.
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
I told her, "You have to SMILE at the customer! Make them feel welcome! Here, I'll show you." With that, she turned around and punched her in the face as hard as she could. She flipped right over the counter! One shoe came off and smacked a customer in the face! He stood up and gathered his belongings, which was difficult to do while holding the coffee cup.
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
My first ocean cruise! I flew to Miami and boarded the beautiful liner with all the other baggage, getting stowed in the hold. The weather was balmy and perfect. It seemed a good time to take a walk around the deck and breathe in a lot of fresh fish!
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
I pushed the lever and water erupted from the white platform. That's when I realized: it was a giant bidet! But to use a bidet this large, someone would have to have a butt the size of a pouf chair which happened to be covered with at least an inch of freeze-dried shrimp had rained down onto the roadway.
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
Next, she declared she would eat more chocolate than ever before. She would also eat a lot more lettuce! With a healthier diet, lifting weights, power walking, and balacing my checkbook on time so that I know I have enough money to buy some new underwear! Whew!
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
The name of this episode is "Oliver Underpants". Oliver goes on strike, and as a result Mr. has to step in and crush the resistance which happened to be the shotgun-toting tomato, Bob.
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
Over here, we don't need money; we trade and barter for everything. It is a liberating feeling: not having to carry a wallet. Remember how heavy those wallets and purses used to get? Sometimes they seemed to weigh as much as bowling balls! Even though he was a very strong man, he wasn't strong enough to defeat Herr Kapitan in hand-to-hand combat.
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
Once the weather got really hot them Yankee-land touristers might come hunting for your A/C, and you gotta be prepared.
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
Unfortunately the sandwiches were cold and tasted old. And it's no wonder: the workers behind the counter looked as if they had been shopping for three days straight! "Ladies!
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
She must weigh close to 350 pounds. But that's OK. that's right... Perfect! She's a door. The next girl can pose on this poof chair. It is shaped like a high-heeled shoe. How mod! I wonder who thought up that idea. It must have been Mr. Fleschmarkt who authorized that! You know it's against procedure to wear more clothes than can be stored in a purse.
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
Ever get that vague feeling that something's missing? What is it? Right now I'm thinking it's a good night's sleep! If I could just get that, everything else would fall into place. Other times, who knows? Will I be a n00b for the rest of my life?
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
They are still good after all these years! Give one to the director. Here, put this one in his pocket!"
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
So we looked at the dehumidifiers. They were piled to the ceiling in a very haphazard manner. This did not look good! I yelled, "We need a pilot!...No, I mean a forklift driver!" And here he came wearing an apron with many pockets!
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
You may end up being bulimic, but at least that won't kill you. Probably. Your other alternative is to eat yogurt 3 times a day. To add to the great nutritional value of the yogurt, you can add chopped tuna.
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
Complete with tire swing, roller-skating area, dress-up box, and kitchenette! All the neighbors' kids were stomping in the mud, making a big mess: so I put them to work mixing up the cement instead.
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
"I can't believe we get such a treat! It's 5:00pm! It's almost time for my backward-spinning atomic dragon kick!" I bounced off two walls and the ceiling, appearing as no more than a black ghost before I landed the blows, methodically right between the eyes, whirled around and thrust a powerful kick right into his solar plexus!
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
Meanwhile, across the street, the DNC rally was handing out free copies of the Communist Manifesto, which were all autographed by Snoop Doggy Dog and Jesse Jackson.
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
If he didn't get out soon, he'd die. He soon heard that Spot next door was wearing a flea collar. What a wimp. Barrister has no use for such "jewelry".
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
My friends and I decided to have a carwash this weekend, in order to raise money for the prom! The theme this year was Election Year Falderall! We brought out the banners of red, white, and blue.
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
All she wanted was to get him to the car and buckled in as fast as possible.
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
she said, "You can take that and stick it where's there no tomorrow! Yeah, and there's no beans about it. That stuff has no life left. It needs to go to the auto dealership, because if I'm going to be able to park my car in this clean and roomy garage, I'm going to want it to be a new one!"
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
Rip! Russell screeched, and yelled, " IT MUST BE SOMEWHERE, BUT WHERE?!" Bricks were flying , windows shattering, the asphalt rippled and disintegrated with every impact. the Hulk bellowed, "But the Hulk is strongest there is!
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
Entering my study, I admired anew this soothing room. It was easy to relax in here.
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
Everyone who saw them were amazed, but many couldn't help whispering to each other, " I surely would like a taste of that there apple pie! I know it will be a blue ribbon winner.
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
I exclaimed, "or are you not going to ask me to marry you?!" "Are you ," I exclaimed, "or are you not going to ask me to marry you?!" He said that so loudly, I jumped. "Are you ," I exclaimed, "or are you not going to ask me to marry you?!" "It's the best way to sneak up on someone, and then, the instant you know they see you, you shout, 'NINJA!'"
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
Add it to your yogurt! he said as he took another bite of his steak. It was clear she wasn't going to eat hers either, so he reached over and grabbed the salad dressing, saying, "If I'm going to eat nothing but salad for lunch, I'm going to need more salt and pepper.
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
I have no idea how to get to the Transportation Museum. I want to see the Pullman cars again and sit on the sofas made from styrofoam and gasoline.
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
But was she flexible? instead of actually performing a dance. So she tried it, and her classmates didn't know whether to be impressed or amused. Her ability to spin on her toes was phenomenal.
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
It also helps prevent muscle soreness. To remedy that Ben-Gay is good. Otherwise you can also rub on some invisibility potion.
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
Not a trace was left. As I regained my balance, I mumbled, "Bizarre." Before I could say another word, the air shimmered around us and a transdimensional vortex appeared in mid-air, sucking the entire bazaar into oblivion before my very eyes!
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
Clearly we had to go to London, to celebrate Shakespeare and see the Great Wall of China.
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
But I assure you I didn't do it. Please note how cooperative I'm being. Ask me anything. Because I'll have an answer for you. It may not be the answer you want to hear, but it'll be too bad if we don't get these filthy jail cells cleaned out.
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
And I think I will also add some corn to the pig's food. They seem to like that. But they don't seem to care much for city folk. They were always coming around here, blabbing about how much nice it is up north, where they have eaten the grass right down to the bare ground.
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
I said. "It's so humid and hot here. I'm so sweaty." Everyone agreed and started looking around.
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
Now you must beware of the last two because they are poisonous. More poisonous than a brown recluse, in fact!
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
Bonnie put on her leather jacket and her leather gloves; also her leather helmut, but around her neck she carefully wound a psychedelic silk parachute, which she used to land at Daytona Beach in the middle of about 100 bikers, with great fanfare.
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
The sun was sinking lower in the sky. It was time to start thinking about dinner. Luckily, Rosita's father had a good catch of fish from earlier that day. Digging a hole in the sand, they lay down some firewood. They placed the cooking pan in the outdoor oven which the Ruwandans had built with stone and layers of crushed bones were all that remained of those who opposed the formation of the International Village.
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
She was right; the very air seems to be immersed in vaporized perfume. How can they taste all the gourmet food when there's body odor attempting to hide under copious perfume everywhere you turn?
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
They didn't get to the bathroom in time! "Oh well," I said, "Who wants those old toys made in China anyway? I think Ethan and I can make better toys on our own. Hey, maybe we could have our own TOY factory!
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
It worked at first but not for long. Soon we had to come up with another idea. So we took wet paper towels and stuffed them in our ears so we wouldn't have to listen to the crybabies.
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
"Awright you maggots! My name's Sergeant Furlman and I'm here to tan your namby-pamby hides until you're whipped into shape.
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
You know, the ones we don't like: They squish so easily and they taste like they always have: awesome! I went up to get a soda refill, but this guy was something else!
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
No air conditioning in these old buildings. The muggy air of late summer was so exhausting that everyone felt just hot, damp, and tired. There was only one quick solution: and that was to immediately drink lots of ammonia and chase it with bleach.
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
We want CHEESE!! We ain't had nothin' to eat for three stinkin' days but this moldy bread. Yeah, and we need some meats! And to go with that some milk!" And if you give him some milk, he will lap it up very delicately all the while holding his little pinky high in the air.
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
Don't forget the food." So we hightailed it to the rest area so we could throw up. What a relief! Imagine getting so sick on that food! What was in it? It must have been cooked with bacon grease.
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
And this lawn chair. And that's ALL I NEED!" People began to stare at him because he had a pale green luminescence about him. He looked down at his hands. Green! What had happened?! He began to feel sick and dizzy; his stomach started to rumble and growl, but then I realized it was just my stomach.
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
It's our only chance!" We all looked at each other and silently agreed to lie down and take a nap in the shade of the old oak tree.
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
I think you need to sit in this massage chair and just relax. Here, I will turn on some soft music. by Wagner, done entirely with a quartet of kazoos?
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
That was the part I hated the most. Chopping lettuce. I don't know why, exactly. Probably having to do with the crispiness. There's just something not quite right about these buns. Too many sesame seeds I think. Hey they look more like poppy seeds! Now we're in trouble. The Sheriff will think we have turned into an opium den.
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
That's what my daddy would do. It will harden their pork brains until they're nice and crunchy. Then you dip them in chocolate, and roll them in crushed walnuts. When they are all finished, you place them carefully on a doily and garnish them with breath-freshening parsley.
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
It was invading his medulla oblongata. Time was running out. He knew he must write his will, so to Jackie Chan he would leave his collection of gemstones in his secret hiding place. No one would ever think to challenge my power again.
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
Sometimes he would laugh, thinking how now the Betty Mafia could never get him.
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
Where did that come from?! Is it programmed for a target?! Oh no! It is headed for a crash! Unable to steer, her frustration at the malfunction gave way to panic as the obstacle loomed ahead, a giant miasmic mix of sulfuric and methane gases, swirling, boiling, reaching out for the next great leader in the cataclysmic battle for galactic supremacy.
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
Their living quarters were made out of popscicle sticks, painstakingly glued together, then painted with multicolor butterflies swarmed through his brain.
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
Laughing, we walked off down the sidewalk, leaving the mess for somebody else to clean up. The shopkeeper couldn't believe it! What was happening?!! Here was the judge, jury, attorneys, the whole court coming into his store! We are going to get this matter settled once and for all, said the judge as he beckoned Lord Elsington to even higher status within the SSBC: Secret Society of British Cats.
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
All the stress? Surely there's got to be a better way to make an A on an exam. You have to stay up longer, study harder, and above all, pay attention to the teachah. Class is now in session, I'm gonna try 'n' reach ya. After the rap was over, Greg stood up and shouted, "There will be no discussion!"
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
She stored them in the back pocket of her blue jeans. She also had a holster for a Colt .45, which she kept cleverly hidden under her jacket. So when she walked into the coffee shop, she immediately put down her heavy backpack.
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
he wasn't. In fact, he still had enough time to play another game of Warlords Battlecry. Being only 10 battles away from finishing another campaign, he was anxious to see which orb he would get next.