Betty's Turn-Down Game

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Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
Now I have to wait 23 1/2 hours to get to see the moonflower bloom! Until then, well, who knows? I am sure we will be able to find a place to eat, but will any place be open at this time of night??
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
But that's fine; ain't no thing but a chicken wing. So we can just go ahead and fry the hamburgers right over this nice fire. They will taste delicious, so go get the tomatoes, lettuce, onion, pickles, and jar of eyeballs.
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
"Get out of the way of that rapidly moving ice stor' Have you no sense??" We then proceeded to wend our way through Wendy's, admiring everyone's entree as we approached the front counter.
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
We could not get out! we were getting so dizzy, and as a last resort we tried crawling on our hands and knees. That took quite some time, but fortunately, they at least had an overstock of those little peanut snack bags to hand out to everyone.
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Turn off the lights! Pretend we're not home!
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
The maestro glared and sighed. Everyone was staring because they had never seen anyone throwing beans in the river before. They thought they had come down to the river just to get a breath of fresh air, and now look what was happening. a lady called out, "What about all that scum on top of the water?!
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
We steeled our resolve and And? And? And? sometimes I want to hug somebody. It would have been a terrifying sound at any time, but hearing at 3am was the worst. We steeled our resolve and And? And? And? sometimes I want to hug somebody. Sitting there on the two-holed set was very relaxing and in the distance we could hear the rumbling of thousands of troll feet as they stampede toward us.
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
This was it, the invasion had begun. Fresh-faced cadets leapt into gun emplacements and cockpits, scarcely believing they were actually going to see combat. Even worse, this an enemy they had never seen before; they swarmed over the horizon, rising to block the sun, the chattering of their thousands of quadcopter blades unmistakable even though they were still miles away.
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
With windblown hair and feet planted firmly on the foam-washed rocks, one of them gazed out at the surf and said, "Thanks to all of our diligent analysis, the administration of this plan will assure the survival of humanity for many generations!"
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
It took 5 grueling months to go from St. Louis to their destination. And when they got there they found lots of fancy chocolate truffles." True to his word, he pulled a variety of gourmet chocolates from his pocket and unwrapped one, eating it in a single bite.
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
It was truly a monumental day. Everyone was happy. Everyone was full of good food. And everyone vowed, "I won't stop until I get my revenge on you!" It was then I finally realized as I reflected on everything that had happened, that this had truly been the best Christmas ever!
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
It's got vitamins, minerals, and amino acids. Everything your body needs. But it looks and tastes like snot so wash it down with very dry sticks and pine straw. We gathered all that in a little pile, and then went looking for the all important matches.
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
What a strange taste, like nothing we had ever had before. And the texture was very light, like gossamer.
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
Such a cacophony of clutter! What to do?? Well you have to start somewher' Why not start in this corner where there is an unnecessary collection of used tissues.
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
"Remember, the customer doesn't know what they want to buy. You have to tell them." The lecture continued for a few hours, until finally the sinks were all full of nice hot soapy water all ready for me to wash! But first, all I need for preparation is clean fingernails and a big smile.
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
I always carry them with me in case anyone needs them because they have a splinter or a tick or a stray unwanted hair, or in case they have a stray unwanted coyote wandering around, digging in the trash, chasing rabbits.
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
All those Secret Service men! All those Body Guards! All those TV Crews! How could they all possibly fit in the cabinet under Boppy's sink? "There's one way," Greg said as he walked in with crowbar the size of his arm. "Stand back!" But Boppy exclaimed, "I can't kill it if I've named it!"
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
I even could detect the smell of SUCCESS!! With their youthful energy and can-do attitude, nothing could stop the students from rioting about the demolition of the omelet bar. NO !! What to do?? They, to a man, all decided to rush the stage. It was pandemonium! Chairs were flying, fists were flying, and threats were splashed across the campus center walls with hot pink paint.
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
But I told her "Sure, you can drive my car to Walmart." I knew she would not know how to knot the bow around the knife, so I showed her how to tie knots in people's shoelaces ...joined...so when they stood up to walk they would immediately smile, introduce themselves and offer to shake hands.
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
We could use the snowblower we borrowed from Danny. I am sure he won't mind if we use it to insulate the garden from the cold. Another good way to do that would be to sprinkle that special salt all over the road. That makes driving safer because I was wearing my hiking boots that had traction straps stretched around them.
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
We finally decided to DIG IN! MMMM! DELICIOUS! I've been waiting for at least 60 minutes we were in a quandary of what to do... We finally decided to DIG IN!
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
Pulling one of them loose, I yelled, " BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!!" No one could argue with that. They all leaned way back in their easy chairs and took a nap!
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
That's okay, though, because it wouldn't last very long. Each group had to write an essay explaining the best way for the REST of the groups to be enthusiastic.
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
They're delighted with the constant flow of free T-shirts, hors d'oeuvres, gift bags, and lanyards with name tags that say, " Welcome to Engineering Country!Now proceed into the Student Center where you will be issued a tote bag full of water guns.
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
Why, it is as big as a polar bear! Or as big as they were before they let all the water out of the pool, they decided to wash the dog, so they soaped him up and then poured over him a bucket of chum in the backseat." "What is that horrible stench?!" I blurbled. He looked at me like I was an idiot.
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
And while you are there, make sure you pick up some latticework or fishing line because as the vine grows, it wraps around everything in its path and starts choking the other plants when then in desperation they start to prune it, they don't know such actions are misguided.
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
More than that would mean I would have to spend the next 3 hours sorting it! Ain't nobody got time for that! My mind started going through all the things I could be doing instead: playing Minecraft, watching Youtube videos, I could even see the stains had all but disappeared!
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
Would we be even able to get out of the house?? We went to look for the snow shovel, but instead found the manhole cover that had been lost for two months!
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
Then, nonchalantly Bonnie walked out of the airplane and down the ramp. When she got to the bottom, she dug in the sand with her hands, feverishly trying to find the return plane ticket.
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
It almost covered the plate! Next to it was a plastic pot containing a pitiful plant, nearly dead from lack of internet service. When will it come back on?? I am so bored!! I might as well take a nap.
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
So I thought I would work on that and turned to the person next to me, and I said to him " What were you thinking?!?! You aren't a cow!!" Who knew organic farming could be so aggravating that I decided to rewrite the whole list. Starting again with #1, I pledged to try again.
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
The only one who delivers more Christmas presents than UPS!
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
so we decided to get a second composter. We started by putting in kitchen scraps. Over time, the bugs, the beetles, and the worms digested the compost, and quietly turned it into rich soil. People pay good money for manure and peat, so why not compost too? I decided to find out, so I set up a roadside stand at the end of our driveway, and started waving down every third driver in the Indy 500.
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
He agilely bent over and handed a bouquet of flowers to a little girl. Surprised, she tried to scrape off the slimey skin but underneath she was shocked to find a handful of rare and fragrant Allegra roses!
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
So take a deep breath and enjoy the wonderful fall smell of burning leaves and the aromatic essence of powdered Dramamine, which helped keep my lunch down as the plane bounced and quivered its way to jump altitude. I had gotten as ready as I could for this fall, and now the only thing left was to sit back in my easy chair and enjoy a cool sparkling glass of Mountain Dew !
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
Who writes this stuff?? I wouldn't be surprised if the author was Mr. John James, former front man of Newsboys, another Aussie rock band which barely predates Dig Hay Zoose.
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
And giant spikes made out of wood logs! And the surrounding area was covered in moldy gray moss that smelled like gym socks that had been stuffed with rotten onions and baby vomit.
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
Freshly cooked potatoes, chopped onions, pickle relish, and I stirred it all up with 3 big dollops of sour cream.
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
Who knows when another hurricane will come through or maybe an ice storm? Because if that happened we would all have to go back to writing cards and letters. How different that was! We had to wait days or weeks for an answer! Now we only have to wait to get the bill. I am on pins and needles.
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
It was going to be a whirlwind adventure, scenic, and of course buying lots of tickets: to the movies, to the amusement park, and to go to the back of the bus where you can be alone so you can read your fortune cookie!
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
Who want a piece? Ethan will be glad to help you if you find your wallet is straining to hold all that money. First, we'll go out to lunch. Then we'll get a new phone. Then we'll get a PS4. and sure enough, an F5 tornado appeared out of nowhere and destroyed the whole town and everyone in it, including us.
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
Sweat was running into my eyes, mosquitoes were biting me, and worst of all, the only solution I could find online was to use pesticide.
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
Exquisitely beautiful, on the very top, there balanced a gymnast who was trying out for the Olympics! But he was nervous! Sweat trickled down his leg and got on the beam, and when he took his next step, he closed his eyes and took the first bite.
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
The clear sky released the oppressive heat, and stars started to blink on. I knew they only SEEMED closer...or were they really? It could also be caused by heavy and drenching downpours of rain which then froze over the entire Rock when the temperature suddenly dropped.
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
If I tried to take a Koala cub home, I am sure the airport authorities would introduce me to Connor Trinneer, AKA Trip Tucker from Star Trek: Enterprise!
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
I immediately picked it up and threw it at him! He then carried the stack of folders over to the table and spread out the construction paper, blunt scissors, glitter, and glue.
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
"Hahaha! I got yer new year's resolution right here!!" I cackled as I popped the champagne bottle to test it. The cork went flying through the air and landed in the punch bowl!
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
What's that, you say? Well, say you resolve to go jogging every morning. You make an agreement that every morning this person will cry a river of tears, because of thankfulness that you made such a positive difference!
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
Second, you have to get someone to put their finger in the middle of a bow, so you can pull out just as much as you need.
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
uh-oh. There are three things you never want to hear your plumber say: "Uh-oh", "This is really going to cost a lot", and " I need a gas mask! Open a window! Go next door and borrow a plumber's snake, the electric kind with lots of power!
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
I was kidding of course, but I knew now the county would surely waive the rule about no inflatables taller than 40 feet! Some people think they are dead! But they're just acting. They're just lying there waiting to be strung from shrub to shrub.
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
As soon as you get your balance, you can play Pac-Man with your feet ! Yes! It is possible and it will save your hands from getting that dreaded Ebola virus! Get away from me with those unwashed hands, those filthy clothes, those rock formations look suspicious."
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
He then extemporaneously launched into song. he declared, "And it's dedicated to freezing peoples' brains so they can be revived at a later date. Each person has to pick which future century they want and they can also pick out what kind of simulation they wanted to be in during the operation.
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
Pack wisely, because the ants and mice can get into any little crevice to eat carefully prepared a series of dangerous, deadly traps leading up to my bathroom. My wife insisted I was being paranoid, but I had to be absolutely certain that the air conditioner would never break down again. Whereas you will always have to have a fresh supply of ice and a number of clean towels.
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
During those hot summer days I must have sweated 2 pints of O-positive.
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
Only, I don't think anyone else understood why I went to the movies even though I was blind! They didn't realize that my excellent sense of hearing allowed me to pick up even the slightest nuance of sound, and my vivid imagination I never would have guessed she would DIE from it!
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
Face down on the ground! Put your hands behind your back stalked a ninja! He was there the ENTIRE TIME! When I realized that, I began to run as fast as I could to get home. sign. I had come too far and seen too much to stop now!
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
One must get rid of them by voting for the Republican candidate! Do you want more freedom? Want a return to the moral, family values that made this country great? Then you need to put your feet up sometimes. It smells like victory and then, when you least expect to find roly poly bugs in the flower pots.
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
I walked over to get a closer look, and punched him in the face! He yelled, " HEY!! WHAT'S GOING ON?!?!" Stunned, I whirled around and to hear Penelope throwing up!
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of tiny red garden ripe tomatoes that are so tasty when they are added to the pease porridge in the pot, nine days old.
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
Do they want clean air or warm houses? They cannot have both !! In fact, over their noses they may have to wear tinfoil hats to protect them from the mind-reading satellites used by an ancient civilization to battle aliens.
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
like a nice day at the beach with relaxing waves, shimmering sunlight, and lots of ketchup for the French fries. Heck, I'll order some onion rings too. And for dessert, we wanted Royal Crown Colas and Moon Pies !! How delicious! But things don't always taste the way we remember them....
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
Your good china, your sparkling wine. We were just about to open our second bottle when suddenly, hot marshmallow started oozing out around the oven door! "How much for a deep fat fryer big enough for a turkey?? We don't have time to cook it in the oven!!"
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
And occasionally a strawberry Yoo-hoo. Or sarsaparilla. Grenadine! Straight from the can! Deee-licious! Now I am going to mix it all up in my new blender. Ooops! I forgot to put on the lid! All across the walls and floor were diplomas, certificates, degrees, and other accolades from a variety of prestigious institutes of learning and experimentation.
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
(Muhahahaha) He also has another present hidden in the glove box of his car. Already in the glove box was a carefully wrapped gyro sandwich, hot and freshly made with lots of whipped cream and chopped up maraschino cherries and topped off with premium unleaded.
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
Now I'll never have to hunt for a tool again! Because now there is a place for everything and everything is in its final stages. There was no time for making pizza. We are running out of time! We want to get all this cleaned up and haul all the junk to the Gloucester Short Lane ice cream parlor, where we ate so much we could barely fit in our newly-reorganized garage.
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
oh, you know. You see them on TV coming out in the dark of night searching for brains to eat. When you see them coming you must floor it! "Eat my dust, turkeys!" I yelled out the window as the car shot out of the stocking which was hanging on the mantle.
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
she exclaimed, "I don't want any goopie stuff flying into my face! I know! I will make a shield out of strips of flank steak.
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
We shouldn't need a snow shovel to clear this space, but it sure would be terrible if the vacuum were set on blow! Then out of nowhere we saw The Fly Lady! She buzzed right in with a big flyswatter and started swatting us on the behind. Clearly she wasn't sure what to throw away and what to keep.
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
Help me! I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory!" It was then we realized our next stop had to be a chinese restaurant.
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
It all started when Ethan ran into the living room to take a swing in Greg's new hanging chair, only to discover that he had forgotten his Prozac.
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
Smith. Despite the title, the album doesn't have anything to do with eyes or vision, unlike another one of Michael's albums, titled "Visions of broken blood veins and serrated mucous membranes."
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
But just as he was walking on stage, his grand entrance was spoiled by inferior weapons. Abiathar needed the pulverizer hammer which would be even stronger if he was carrying a load of dynamite in order to tie up Abiathar! That ploy would never work, because a hero gets tired of going to the hospital over and over!
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
Now for the next 500 points I would have to load up on missiles and ammo and armor before I woke up I had another dream about the battle! This time the robot enemies chased me into a cave full of ogres! I knew I had to think fast. ready! Let the battle begin!
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
I had to choose between organic compost or that big bag of hot air, Joe Blow or Joe Schmoe or whatever his name is. Always offering unsolicited advice. I've got half a mind to take a nap in the nearby hammock.
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
and put it in the dumpster. With that junk out of the way, I was able to start moving furniture around so it made more sense. I moved the work table next to the cat food which was really starting to stink! I needed some deodorizing spray, so I went to the store and bought a can of Great Stuff and sprayed it into the crevice.
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
I really needed a new line of work. There just isn't as much money in moving moonshine across state lines like there used to be. So I decided to turn in my driver's license and buy a bicycle. They were blocking the road, so I slammed on the brakes and turned in to a McDonald's drive-thru.
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
the spindly, gray-skinned doctor intoned. "I hope you have a good insurance policy, because you are SURELY going to need it!" This bold statement caused a huge increase in his medical malpractice insurance premiums.
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
Finally, they all fell on the floor laughing their heads off. The hilarity continued until who would walk through the door but Mr.
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
It left a mighty bruise, though, and hurt like crazy, so I let out a yell that sounded like a pickup truck, headed straight for me!
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
Show me your passport." And I hope you have it, because it's important when traveling to be able to drink hot tea with the little finger in the air. It's not as easy as you think! Actually it is harder than quantum physics! That's why one time I was talking to Dr. Stephen Hawking and he said "Isn't that something!
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
I could hear the whine of the power meter dials spinning. I could hear the sound of sleigh bells coming from the roof! Could it be? Would I really get to see Santa Claus??? We rushed to the roof and searched for hoofprints in the snow, but all we found were stale, broken gingerbread cookies from last year.
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
Without further ado or hesitation, he pulled out his Equalizor, opening very carefully the hatch, and peering in; there seemed to be a strange odor drifting out. In fact, it actually smelled like fertilizor! Confused, I said, " Please don't eat me! I promise to stay out of your way, and believe me, you'll never know that I used a degreazor!
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
We could see the entire auditorium from here, as well as mink coats, diamond tiaras, and fancy tuxedos trimmed with mistletoe and holly.
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
I sure didn't want to end up there! The driver was chatting incessantly and I was sure she wasn't the real tour guide. She didn't seem to know much about the countryside, nor did she know much about the practice of rounding up American tourists and pressing them into slave labor.
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
Needless to say, the manager had never heard such beautiful singing in his life. He smiled, sat down and boo-hooed right there in the mall. What else could happen?!! Right away we started looking for a ribbon to put on the ribbon and I was good to go!
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
And you know you're not allowed to eat mistakes! Put that in the waste bucket!" Reluctantly, I placed the tomato heels and limp lettuce on each one of the cash registers. I tried to hit the button to open the drawer, but it really didn't matter if a few pickles fell on the floor. We could always rinse them off and use them on the next drive-through customer, who had just ordered 2 large cokes, 2 large fries, and 2 giant Cokes with crushed garlic.
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
Our annual trek to the pumpkin patch had finally arrived and I was going to check out the gift shop. Meanwhile, the rest of the group went to the raspberry patch and had a raspberry war!! Soon they were all covered with red raspberry juice.
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
woo boo -boo-boogaloo, boo-boo-boogalo! Put them together and what have you got? Get lose, you cannot compare with my powers.
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
Bibbidi Time for launch of the Mars Express I rocket was drawing near. We were all nervously excited. We were about to embark on a six-month voyage so we packed 6 cases of peanut butter and 6 crates of oranges, for vitamin C.
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
You cannot leave the classroom until you have erased all your data, then you get to start all over!!
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
We all know that sanitation is very low priority around here, which is why your show is on suspension!"
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
We put them in the bathtub because it's just easier to wipe two bottoms at the same time. To do this, you just need a lot of patience. One day at a time, we worked at moving the vast quantities of toddler turds out of the house. We used snow shovels most of the time, but sometimes we used cloth diapers when we ran out of all the clean air in the house was being gradually contaminated by the encroaching fog of green stench.
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
It's really not necessary for you to practice at home. I think they're even open at this time: your mouth! It needs to be CLOSED at this time!!" With that, she jumped off the roof and landed in the kiddie pool. Splash! The water flew out and drenched the apple pie in whipped cream, which I then cheerfully took to the neighbor's house.
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
Squish. We immediately had a flat tire! And I know it was because we ran over a speed bump that was so big, the front end of the car shot into the air!
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
I panicked at first until I learned my suit was really fireproof. Nobody but nobody wants to be in a fiery wreck and only be wearing a Kevlar vest and boxer briefs. There is no A/C in a race car, and it gets pretty darn hot in the cabin. The vest, of course, is for protection.
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
Mmm... What! It's a mirage! It's actually a water-saving toilet, and it cost much more than I could afford. In fact it cost a dollar. The cigarette lighter cost a dollar. The foil pinwheel toy cost a dollar. In fact, everything we bought cost a dollar! Then we realized we were in a progessive town because our hotel room had "hot water on demand": to conserve the water that normally runs down the sink while you're waiting for it to get hot, there were small water heaters installed right next to the toilet was a strange-looking water saving device.
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
Ha, Ha! This is great! Next thing you know, you will be skin and bones. No one will know you. Everyone will think you are Shamu the Orca if you wear a tuxedo before your diet is accomplished.
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
We had the yard sale near an active volcano and called it a firesale. So when we advertised it, we exaggerated a little bit to get more people to show up.
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
Now the fun begins! The co-pilot thought I was kidding, but far be it from me to let him know what was really going on. He'd probably just freak out and start to open up the escape hatch. But that would cause the enemy to unleash the entirety of his airforce!!
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
stuff like microwaves and the thingies that keep your phone cord from getting tangled, but "cool" stuff like tie-dyed T-shirts and also lots of beaded necklaces which he wore around his head. "Why are you wearing 3-D glasses everywhere you go?" I asked. "I'm only doing that today,"
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
But when I got there, the doctor said "Ma'am, I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but that's not how you're supposed to wear the hospital gown." Well, I didn't see what the big deal was.
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
They'll never figure it out! They'll see little toy mice dangling from the penthouse roof. They will just love all the neat ideas I have come up with for their entertainment.
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
Quit that! You're getting wallpaper paste all in my hair! uh oh, I'm all out. That's OK, because we bought extra rolls just in case.
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
After all that hard work, the value of the property went up so much I got an offer I couldn't refuse, and I moved into a condo. and it will also help you store things." After all that hard work, the value of the property went up so much I got an offer I couldn't refuse, and I moved into a condo.
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
Ring, ring "Hello?" "Hello! I've been meaning to call you for days! How are you?" "Fine, How are you?" "I'm fine! I wanted to ask if you knew there is a moose in your front yard! He seems to be trying to find candidates for his galactic space marine training academy. "I'm only 18!"
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
This was my first day on the job as a new airliner pilot, and everything had to be just right. So I adjusted the seat. Then it felt much better. Reaching for the throw-up bag would be a good idea. Quickly, there is no time to waste!
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
So I said, "Honey, I'm not in it for the lettuce! I'm in it for the quality time and cultural enlightenment. After all, who would know that the slacker pizza cook would just put a smattering of cheese on my pizza!
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
For this I prefer to use a non-stick pan, as opposed to a stick pan. I'll hold these two examples up so you can see the difference.
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
It's like the heartbeat of the spirit, man. It's the soundtrack of life. You gotta have a belt with those pants if you don't want to be holding them up all day! You'll see what I mean after you blow your nose a few times. I know you will sound like a foghorn, and that will mean that you will need to put some totally awesome detailing on your car.
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
I told her, "You have to SMILE at the customer! Make them feel welcome!
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
Ha! Ha! Ha!" He laughed and exclaimed, "I'm turning this sucker into a waterside museum!
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
Captain Underpants and his sidekick Angel Soft jumped in the vehicle, and roared off to the water treatment plant! Unfortunately, once they got there, they discovered that Colonel Colon had eaten ALL the Grape-Nuts! When they arrived, his tummy was already started to gurgle.
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
What are you thinking? Look at all those spots closer to the door!" He was irritated. Calmly, she answered, "I'm thinking if we ate nothing but lettuce and skim milk for a month we may look good for the St.
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
This team of friends had agreed to buy all the ingredients to make homemade pizza. So before they went to the store they made a list of ingredients: Trix cereal, cinnamon bun, chocolate milk, and peanut butter cookies!
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
His latest information reported that there was a severe shortage of toilet paper. Now what? There was only one solution: activate the fleet of snowmobiles!
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
It's so hot and the heat makes me feel like dancing! It makes me want to dance! When I hear the music playing The Yellow Rose of Texas. How lilting was the music. It made me want to change into a tank top and get a cold drink.
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
I have a wallet full of money and all kinds of sales to go to. I must make a list of people whom I want to give back to the community.
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
I wonder who thought up that idea. It must have been Mr. Fleschmarkt who authorized that! You know it's against procedure to wear more clothes than can be stored in a purse.
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
Chicken and prunes! Yuk! I would rather have a deadly attack robot! It would have to be at least 8 feet tall and 4 feet wide. And that is hard to find. To see a good selection I think I will have to go to the baths, and have a good soak. After that I should feel really blessed and just happy to be alive.
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
There was a long, tense silence, until finally someone said, "Well, I'm hungry. Who's up for some Mickie D's?" And yet, here are the little yellow wrappers!"
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
Who would have thought Wendy's chili would have such a flatulating effect? Unfortunately as I quickly rounded the corner, I ran right into the forklift! The driver groaned, "That's gotta hurt!" And then I wallpapered the bathroom with all my receipts from Lowe's...
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
Next, you must only go grocery shopping when you are really hungry. That will enable you to put some food in your mouth, chew it up, and swallow it. does NOT apply here! As far as keeping track of your weight, throw out that scale! It will only stress you out, raise your blood pressure and increase your intake of calories.
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
We could present movies in professional comfort for up to 30 people. On the walls were several works of art, but they were mounted right on the dry wall! "What idiot did this?" She shrieked. "You haven't even seen the rooftop gardens yet!" and this time, do it right. Shining through from underneath were rows and rows of seats for the home theater.
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
Ah, the power coming out of my legs, my arms, my fingertips. If you could see my aura, it'd be white with fire and black with death. Death was the order of the day (I suppose you could call a hamburger and french fries that!) Anyway who cares?
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
but he pledged allegiance to communism. Then John Edwards told him, "It would really be to your advantage to settle on one candidate, especially the one who wanted to lower taxes and advocated more refreshments for the people who went to the trouble to come out to vote!
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
My home, seen only in faded memories after all those years... Delirious with joy, I lept aboard the ship that would take me home. My home, seen only in faded memories after all those years...
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
Those girls are wearing bikinis! Go back! Go back!!" and waved the water hose in a circle over his head, splashing water on everyone nearby, including customers, classmates, and the whole board of supervisors joined in to hold hands, circle around, and sang Ring Around the Rosy.
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
All she wanted was to get him to the car and buckled in as fast as possible.
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
It's American cheese that you saved to see if it would decompose!" "Oh, yeah! That's right! It looks like plastic poop; you know that artificial dog poop that you fool people with? Never mind scoop it up and throw it into the dumpster parked on the side of the house.
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
IT MUST BE SOMEWHERE, BUT WHERE?!" Bricks were flying , windows shattering, the asphalt rippled and disintegrated with every impact. the Hulk bellowed, "But the Hulk is strongest there is!
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
But today my concerns would not so easily be laid to rest. Next to my brass desk set I laid my Kindergartener's Spider-Man folder. In it was an invitation to join the PTA. At first, I'd thought I'd died and gone to heaven. The Plutonium Transporters of America!
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
I quickly leaned over and threw up, deftly avoiding potentially lethal food poisoning. Then I grabbed a ticket to go see the biggest cow on the planet.
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
He yelled "Stop the presses! Stop the presses!!" The editor asked, "What's the matter?"
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
Here comes the bacon cheeseburger cart. And the fudge sundae cart behind that. Get ready to mash those soybeans and mold the tofu into shapes resembling flowers. Admittedly, that artistic effort, combined with the variety of color in the salad made it extraordinarily beautiful.
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
I want to see the Pullman cars again and sit on the sofas made from styrofoam and gasoline.
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
instead of actually performing a dance. So she tried it, and her classmates didn't know whether to be impressed or amused.
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
Then we could more safely find our way there. So many dangers beset us, we scarcely conceived of ever making it through the maze alive. Giant scorpions, venomous snakes and worse hounded our every step. We turned a corner and tripped over a string somebody had stretched along near the floor!
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
I quickly moved aside just in time to avoid being trampled by the thundering hooves. As the dust settled and my panic eased, I calmly put my .357 Magnum back in its holster and continued my search for stuffed moose heads to hang on my office wall.
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
That's right. You won't be satisfied to stay at home. You'll want to take another trip as soon as you can. The fun is just beginning. Now we are headed for the North Pole! We will be on top of the world!
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
Ask me anything. Because I'll have an answer for you. It may not be the answer you want to hear, but it'll be too bad if we don't get these filthy jail cells cleaned out. The sargeant will take a fit. To clean them, he will probably want us to use stun guns.
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
To wash them I used cotton balls and baby oil. Everything was working great until the cotton balls started to fall apart and blow away! "I told you you should have repaired that hen house!"
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
We glanced at each other, worried. Clearly he was going crazy. Why else would he, John Kerry, ever think he could be president? Just then, a T-Rex ran up and ate him! Two days later we found a pile of John Kerry T-Rex poop outside our hut.
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
You can use it for digging up earthworms. You know those slick wiggly creatures that are so good for the soil. Why in only one hour they can process 50 pounds of superb cedar mulch. This is the good stuff!
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
He filled up his gas tank and kept going. And then, birds landed on him! So he started singing: "Zippidy doo-dah, zippidy-ey, my o' my what a wonderful day just the kind of day for a hot rod race on the open road. Start your engines!"
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
But then we realized: we were all scared. The forces of Hauptmann Gestapo were closing in, and Molly was really enjoying her Chinese Chop Suey. She was also learning how to use chopsticks.
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
But over here we call them pommes frites, and we like to smother them with sauteed onions. It just doesn't get much better than that! Tell me I'm wrong! Go ahead!" She wanted to, but couldn't. Tears filled her eyes and she turned and began to run away.
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
And where to go next? I think we should go over to the hardware department and we can look for some Transformers! The ones that turn into a robot and then into a jet plane and then into the Toy Department again to see if anything was missing from the shelves.
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
Unfortunately, one of the more common types of farts is the "Super-smelly Fart". It's like a stink bomb dropping in a room. One can only hope that one is alone if this happens.
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
Everyone moaned and exclaimed," I don't wanna got to Iraq! I'm scared!" the Sarge growled, "You're goin'! So pull yourself together and straighten up that posture, soldier! We want you to stand tall and proud. Remember you are representing the United States of America, the most powerful country in the world!
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
NOT AT ME! Aim it that way!" Quickly, I retrieved the wiggling hose and finished cleaning up. Nervously, I looked up at him to see the whole congregation of Lighthouse Worship Center walk through the door right behind him.
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
I couldn't believe it. All I could do was look around in amazement. "All these books must be at least a hundred years old!" I whispered. a voice rasped. I gasped. An old lady, bent with age, shuffled out of the shadows.
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
300 mice died to provide you with that stylishly avant-garde attire, and don't let them forget it.
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
That explained the pleasant, Southern-style, down home-cooking smell! he said, "I gotta get tickets for my next vacation.
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
Hey maybe this will work out after all! So he took one stick, and he cut it into one inch pieces and used them to start a fire. someone complained, "You'll use up all our air!" But I knew she was wrong because she was always wrong.
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
Now what?! I guess we will have to go to the comic book store. And when we get there I will buy some sense, and gift-wrap it and give it to you! What were you thinking when you used your peanut butter sandwich as a bookmark?!! Now this book looks like a bunch of crap.
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
After I take a nap, I always feel like killing somebody! That was when I knew I had to lie down quickly and start my bio-feedback session. That was the only thing that worked for me to help me feel calm again, and it helped me also to feel sympathy for homeless people.
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
There's just something not quite right about these buns. Too many sesame seeds I think. Hey they look more like poppy seeds!
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
"I don't know what to do with all these eggshells. Maybe I should crush them into little bits and bake them in the oven and feed them back to the chickens.
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
In fact, you couldn't see them at all until the curtain of blood was gone. The massive and violent battle was finally finished. The weapons were lying in disarray. The wounded combatants looked at each other and said, "
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
He decided to put all his savings into that new tech stock that everyone was raving about. And the name of it was "Ackerson Savings & Loans & Stuff". It had been in business for 20 years, but it had to be demolished to make way for a Stop-n-Go.
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
Sam said, The gravity is very different here, so don't be doing any jumping.
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
Interestingly enough Sir Greg headed for the gallows with great trepidation. As he drew nearer he saw to his horror, the king had been slain by a pack of eldritch blagglecruncheons!
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
There were a few close calls, but after about 20 tense minutes she gave up.
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
After the rap was over, Greg stood up and shouted, "There will be no discussion!" Invigored with his courage, again he shouted, "
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
However, how formidable could he be? Considering his cache of armor, he chose a shield, a big one, because his heart was gripped with fear that he would become dragon food: flame-broiled, crispy baby back ribs smothered in a tempting and tasty blanket of spicy hot peppers and smothered in cheese!
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
And the best place for that will be in the kitchen, where the food is. Greg nodded slowly and deliberately as he reached for the Ovaltine. When he opened the cabinet, Lo, and behold, he found his missing bottle of pills. Oh, how he had suffered without them! Now, long gone would be the pain.