Betty's Turn-Down Game

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Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
And thinking of that, what does a dog like to eat for breakfast?? Woofles and Pooched Egg'! what say you?" I leaned back in my chair and considered the question I had posed to myself. Was I even hungry? And was breakfast the appropriate meal for this time?
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
This bottle had survived bombing runs, train rides, baggage valets handing it off from country to country, until it finally reached 2021. Now in his safekeeping, it was an exhilarating thought to know he might be the one to uncork it one day and unleash an onslaught of antique aromas nearly a century old.
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
However, I hate people telling me what to do, ...like I have to use fully-jacketed rounds at the indoor shooting range, because they're concerned about LeAd PoIsOnInG... OooOOooOOoo.
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
Actually, it's an introvert's dream, this whole solitary isolation business. Nobody ever bothers you, and you have basically infinite free time. If you're into meditation, make sure you have a cup of coffee ahead of time so that you don't accidentally slip on a patch of ice and land face-first in a pile of freshly driven icy cold snow causing me to feel the need to call the airline and confirm my flight hadn't been cancelled.
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
Dang Sith. Dang them straight to heck. But anyway, that's okay because we'll fry it later. So, as for sides, we wanted Greg's famous Sweet Potato Casserole, Bonnie's famous Homemade Stuffing, and most of all, Xander's famous bread! and gobs of dripping fat.
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
Surely, the fish would either stop swelling or explode! It was a fearsome moment indeed!
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
I checked the time: it was 3 AM. That was the last straw. mode and headed for the outdoor johnny house. Yes my cousin and I painted it blue inside! There used to be an old Sears & Roebuck Catalog to use for wiping but we had advanced to real rolling toilet paper...Yay!
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
The best thing we could think to do was to head downhill and try to find some durian fruit! I haven't had any for hours and I'm starting to go into withdrawal!
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
What cat could resist that?? the robovac started sucking up my sock! Within a second, it had pulled it right off my foot, and then I heard ripping sounds, and I realized it was tearing my sock apart! What kind of hardware did you install in that monster?
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
He wasn't known for much besides being a great wrestler. But he was also my friend. A bit of a lunkhead friend, though, considering when I asked him to give us an autograph, he grabbed the nearest thing to do it on. And now you know why this IHOP menu is framed and hanging on the wall.
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
How cool! When the martini glasses were all empty, we washed them with our carpet shampooer.
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
This was the moment the past several weeks had been building up to. woods or open fields? This was the moment of truth. This was the moment the past several weeks had been building up to. woods or open fields? I had to take a break and drink some ice cold Mountain Dew and eat a bite of pecan praline nougat covered in sticky napalm, which I made by dissolving Styrofoam in gasoline.
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
Luckily it was activated already, so the geiger counter started a vigorous ticking.
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
!! I think the best remedy would be to spray a powerful broad spectrum commercial mold remover and disinfectant. That should remove all concern about anybody going through my trash. All those bank statements, etc., you don't want people to know your every little insecurity!"
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
Wow! Thinking about that, why am I even still considering other jobs?? But this is an important decision, so I'll keep thinking. There's something to be said for being out in the sunshine and fresh air, so maybe I should think about wearing rubber gloves when I am washing the dishes at Jim's.
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
Passersby may or may not care to stop and admire the large healthy tuft of iridescent green light, shimmering and floating before our eyes. It was transcendent. Mesmerized, we ate popcorn and drank beer while the spectacle continued.
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
"They're designed to be mousetraps, and are cute and fuzzy too." I scooped him up and went through a massive stone archway, imposing and mystical. It bridged the gap between this world and the others, and beyond it were visible incomprehensible wonders and horrors alike.
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
They, to a man, all decided to rush the stage. It was pandemonium! Chairs were flying, fists were flying, and threats were splashed across the campus center walls with hot pink paint. We could not let visitors see them!
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
I walked across and peeked through the fence and saw himself! They had lined their entire property with mirrors! "How strange," I exclaimed, as I tried to climb over the fence, but scintillating disco balls blinded me and I couldn't continue! The light was brilliant!
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
And isn't that part of the fabric of life? Letting yourself just enjoy all the simple things is life are so valuable.
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
MMMM! DELICIOUS! We finally decided to DIG IN! MMMM! DELICIOUS! I've been waiting for at least 60 minutes we were in a quandary of what to do... We finally decided to DIG IN! MMMM! DELICIOUS! I'm starving!!! I've been waiting for at least 60 minutes we were in a quandary of what to do...
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
but then I realized he was listening to praise music on his earbuds and singing along. Pulling one of them loose, I yelled, " BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!!" No one could argue with that. They all leaned way back in their easy chairs and took a nap! Not only were the kids running around like crazy, the adults were really getting hungry and with the hunger came grumpiness.
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
And vendors will come to sell their homemade costumes. The matching outfits looked kind of amateur, but the makeup and wigs more than made up for it with Cherry Blossom Bubble Bath! Oh the bubbles.
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
But he ran out of that, too, and didn't have any more newspapers to soupify to make more, so he started tearing pages of his roommate's textbook.
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
As each one of them came back to consciousness, They said, " Excuse me, could we please get ten pounds of Reese's Peanut Butter Cup!"
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
Many have never heard of it, and if they have, they think What's the use?? No matter what we do it always turns out to be time to make more Greg Pizza!
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
One big one should be all I need. More than that would mean I would have to spend the next 3 hours sorting it! Ain't nobody got time for that!
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
it was actually mighty spicy!! However, I must add more hot if I'm going to have a snowball fight, I need to build a fort!
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
It had disappeared ! Maybe we should look for it in the shoe store! I know there are tons of photos to go through and sort. We should put the ones of Xander and Ethan in a special embossed hankerchief. It had the monogram "A", which I thought stood for "Ackerson", but it actually was 4 hours before we finally got out of Costco !
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
It must have weighed two pounds. It almost covered the plate! Next to it was a plastic pot containing a pitiful plant, nearly dead from lack of internet service.
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
I resolve to think before I speak and bite my tongue if I feel inclined to improve myself. First I took a personality test and I turned out to be an introvert. So I thought I would work on that and turned to the person next to me, and I said to him "
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
Make sure you never tie a yellow ribbon 'round that old oak tree, because this is a Jonny Cash town, you hear? If you can't sing at least the first verse of Folsom Prison Blues, you'll get kicked out of the 4-H Club faster than you can say "
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
He turned to go, which was awkward because he was carrying bucket load after bucket load of stinking garbage and pouring it carefully into the concrete mixer. I pulled the lever and it started slowly turning. I had to wait about two weeks.
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
Surprised, she tried to scrape off the slimey skin but underneath she was shocked to find a handful of rare and fragrant Allegra roses!
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
Better get out that rake because the leaves will be coming down ! You should first lubricate the tines with a little dribble of maple syrup.
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
No, seriously, you would have a problem if you ran out of eggs right in the middle of preparing a tasty snack! Considering all the work that had gone into it, everyone was really surprised that Aussie rock had made it into the mainstream in the States.
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
I found the recipe in a plant book: You mix beer, baking soda, and then add a cup of Miracle-Gro.
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
Add to that some bacon bits, green onions, and some shredded cheese, now you've got the perfect Greg Pizza. Toss it in the oven and voila, we are ready for a big bite of a Dagwood sandwich!
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
For that, you probably want to consider buying a 15,000 amp generator. Who knows when another hurricane will come through or maybe an ice storm?
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
Then suddenly he came toward us and said, "I want my two dollars!" Panicking, I slept. Zzzzzzz Garfield was asleep again. Odie was just staring at him and then he decided to wash & polish his motorcycle and get it all ready to take to Texas !
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
Why me, you ask??? Because you didn't eat your Wheaties or drink your whole milk.
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
It made them so mad they bit me on the back through my shirt! I swatted them with my trowel in one hand and a watering can in the other, nothing can stop me!
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
The most delicious part is the unique combination of chocolate chips, coconut, chopped pecans, and held together by welded high-gauge wire.
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
Red clothes will set it off so, be sure to take the time to look around and enjoy the scenery. You will see gigantic rocks like you have never seen before! I nudged up against one, and it started to move toward a shady spot under a rock.
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
It was so hot! It made me want to go to San Antonio, Texas to visit Bonnie, Chad, Xander, Ethan, and their dog named all the cats in the neighborhood: "Stinky", "Spazzy", "Sissy McWeepington", "Sir Pukesalot", etc. It was obvious the dog was no fan of the cats!
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
It could also measure each kid to make sure the desks were the right size. Sure enough, one kid was way too messy to read.
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
Why is the New Year's number always depicted as novelty eyeglasses? Why is the eggnog always gone?
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
Keep up the good work! You know, nobody ever changed the world by sitting on a stack of steaming hot pancakes. and drizzle them with Sriracha hot sauce! And habanero sauce! And Colleen's kick-yo-ass hot sauce! Maybe then it will be easier to accomplish.The first rule of making a good resolution is to make it specific.
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
I think we deserve it ! Sit back, relax, and take a big sample of that egg nog !! I think we deserve it ! Now you are all set for a very Merry Christmas! Sit back, relax, and take a big sample of that egg nog !! I think we deserve it !
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
Oh well, more brownies for us. He went into anaphylactic shock and died. Oh well, more brownies for us.
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
Well-stuffed tummies are definitely a part of Christmas: pot-bellied snowmen, Santa...all indicative of prosperity and feasting. That's my favorite! He was left in utter darkness and promptly eaten by a grue. Well-stuffed tummies are definitely a part of Christmas: pot-bellied snowmen, Santa...all indicative of prosperity and feasting.
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
The stench was unbearable and permeated every corner of the room. We needed a room freshener bad !! So I sprayed the room with a can of Whoop-Ass! When everyone saw me opening it, they knew they were in dire straits when they entered the cave and deep within they saw a tumor!
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
Each person has to pick which future century they want and they can also pick out what kind of simulation they wanted to be in during the operation. It was a long, intense process to add cybernetic enhancements to a super-soldier; one that would begin to wear on the subject's consciousness if left dormant.
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
But I had a better idea. Set up a giant lemonade stand right at the end of our driveway !! Not only would we sell lemonade, but we could also sell bags of ice.
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
But what an awesome game. What a bad game ending!!! But what an awesome game. What the hell?!?!?!
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
"Union forever!" I was appalled and could not watch a minute more; in fact, I just stood up and shouted, " Kill it, kill it, KILL IT!!!!!" I was beginning to freak out a little because it was quite large, ugly AND smelly!
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
But this time I decided just to enjoy the moment. Off in the distance, I noticed reflected from the street lamp, 2 yellow eyes staring at me.
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
Then you need to put your feet up sometimes. Want a return to the moral, family values that made this country great? Then you need to put your feet up sometimes.
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
Get on him, before he prepared the meal. Good hygiene is always optional when skydiving. It's not like anyone can smell you at 10,000 feet! But by the time you finish your last task, you have run out of time and lost all your money causing you to giggle with delight. You know it's the little things in life that really matter, so go ahead and get an associate's degree in plumbing.
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
To test it, we inserted a non-compete clause into the document. It now read, "I (fill in your name) will not directly or indirectly engage in any business that competes with the cupboard of Old Mother Hubbard." So many kids, what else could she do? She went to the cobbler and moved into a pie full of four-and-twenty blackbirds.
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
Strange as this was, it only got weirder as relatively small automobiles started spilling out of its mouth.
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
During the bedlam, I ran out through the back, evading my pursuers and finding myself in a pickle. The car had broke down and I didn't have enough money for bus fare. I maybe had enough to get by without doing laundry. With that load off my mind, I turned my attention to the Mack truck that was barreling down the road, straight towards me!
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
I didn't have time now to baste the turkey. Drat! I just turned it over and dabbed on plenty of makeup before leaving the house. "You look like a street walker!" I exclaimed. "You go to Dollar General to find a knife sharpener but instead you come home with a large group of hungry friends and acquaintances!
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
So bright. So beautiful. prrrecciouusss... Those hobbitses are always stealing from us. Those nasty little roaches were everywhere! Someone must have left food in here! Ah, I found an old lunch bag! And in it were stale pieces of air. There wasn't enough oxygen to breathe!
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
Already in the glove box was a carefully wrapped gyro sandwich, hot and freshly made with lots of whipped cream and chopped up maraschino cherries and topped off with premium unleaded. I then went inside the Quicky-Mart and got some Pepsi, beef jerky, Andy Capps hot fries, and some curly ribbon fell behind the couch and got tangled with the golden tresses of Rapunzel, which she had cast out her tower window after he unwrapped the last present he put all the bows and wrapping paper into a large roomy cabin near the front of the plane.
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
No one wants to clean up smelly piles of rags soaked in gasoline, which I used to have as a collection when I went to college. I really could not bear to throw away all those memories. Perhaps I could store them in a large milkshake from Chick-Fil-A.
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
Imagine if post-impressionism and paisley had a child which then vomited onto a sheet of paper: that would look about twice as nice as this paper.
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
I don't have any room left for you." The zombie lumbered off and I knew I had to beef up my defenses in a big way.
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
The next thing to do would be have a fire sale! Anything that didn't get sold would become kindling for the bonfire that would be against my better judgment to put the white underwear into the same drawer as the colored butterflies streamed through the sewer line so fast that everyone thought, "
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
So we walked to the Beatific Bonnet Boutique, looked in the window, and saw just what we wanted: a winning lottery ticket! Right there in the parking lot! Now we could afford to add several egret feathers and even a boa to the brim of the traveling brown hat. But to attach them, we needed to use our most skulky ninja tactics in order to get the brown hat to its next destination.
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
Xander exclaimed, " I am so hungry I could eat a WHOLE pizza!" When the nephews opened it, they found an enormous pile of puke the cats had upchucked! Xander exclaimed, " I am so hungry I could eat a WHOLE pizza!" While he was waiting, the UPS man came bringing a big package.
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
i 2 Eye", by Michael W. Smith. Despite the title, the album doesn't have anything to do with eyes or vision, unlike another one of Michael's albums, titled "Visions of broken blood veins and serrated mucous membranes."
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
So Abiathar asked him to pass the potatoes. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we do some serious bashing! After dinner, he got to his feet and threw a zombie up in the air with his Jawbreaker, while at the same time he grabbed a troll by the ankle, spun him around and launched him into orbit with one flick of his manly wrist.
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
OH NO, I must not die. In a last desperate move I pushed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and then guess what happened: the whole system shut down! And I hadn't saved my game!
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
My chrysanthemums were only slightly singed. Relieved, I filled in the big hole dug by the groundhog, and on top of that dirt I put a big flat tire in the middle of the garden, because I didn't have anywhere else to put it.
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
she yelled over her armful of wallpaper rolls, paint chips, and fabric squares.
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
Eventually they drifted to a dead stop, out of gas, low on oil, and right in the middle of a speedtrap!
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
It wouldn't have been the first time. They quietly ordered an X-ray of his brain, completely unsure what the bulge was. They were pretty sure though that the X-ray would show the presence of decades-old cysts the size of walnuts.
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
We also put out a wide variety of chewed pencils which seemed to be coated with a sticky layer of Glue-Stik glue, the kind you get from the Dollar Store.
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
And with that, he made a U-turn and proceeded back down the road and bumped into a steel spike that protruded from a pile of obliterated concrete. Fortunately, I was wearing my Kevlar vest and it bounced off! It left a mighty bruise, though, and hurt like crazy, so I let out a yell that sounded like a pickup truck, headed straight for me!
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
I was tired of all this foreign stuff. I was ready for some authentic foreign cuisine to help get me in the mood for more lingo. So we got cream pies in the face from those angry Frenchmen.
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
Where are they coming from?? They must be coming from Mars! We're being invaded on Christmas!" He ran inside the house to call the electric company because the power seemed to be off.
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
"Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!" I laugh with raucous glee. You will be sorry; you will be very sorry when I stumbled upon a fully-loaded phaser rifle.
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
Oh! What fun it was to hobnob with all those blue bloods! The mayor was there, several state councilmen were there, we even saw George Allen, John Warner, and Harvey Morgan in the foyer, and they were having a heated discussion about which burned longer: a violin or a viola. he exclaimed.
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
I sure didn't want to end up there! The driver was chatting incessantly and I was sure she wasn't the real tour guide.
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
I asked. he exclaimed, "I want paper not plastic! You stupidhead!"
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
"It's legal tender. See? It says right here: "This product may contain peanuts and for those persons with allergies, it may cause severe difficulty in operating a vehicle or other heavy equipment!"
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
If there are any chocolate creme ones, those are mine. Or coconut. Now, the only thing left to do is pick up all the pumpkins, and give them to eat whatever was left and that would be, of course, at least a dozen doughnuts! If there are any chocolate creme ones, those are mine. Or coconut.
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
I think you should take a break now in order to crush those who oppose us." He then tried to use the cash register, but it exploded! Into a million pieces of pillow filling! bendy. Here, hold my Silly-Putty(tm) while I give you another test.
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
Bibbidi Time for launch of the Mars Express I rocket was drawing near. We were all nervously excited. We were about to embark on a six-month voyage so we packed 6 cases of peanut butter and 6 crates of oranges, for vitamin C.
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
But I didn't do that; instead, I started tearing pages out of my computer manual and folding them into paper airplanes and launching them around the room. After a while, you will not feel so dizzy. Believe me, your brain will start to eat up all your system resources, until you have made at least a dozen new entries.
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
"Eww!" I exclaimed. "Truffles smell like sweaty gym socks. They also will alleviate constipation, especially for people who eat a lot of pasta! This is so versatile, you can even use it to shell hard-boiled eggs. Let me demonstrate, Kent." Kent handed him the egg so he could demonstrate how skillfully you can peel an egg: Take the boiled egg in your hand and gently crack it against the side of your frying pan.
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
You know pictures speak louder than words. Then when I was busy in the kitchen, the twins drew on the calendar too. They drew pictures of monsters that will scare the poop out of them!!! Hahaha! We put them in the bathtub because it's just easier to wipe two bottoms at the same time.
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
Suddenly it occurred to me that I could hook up my Mega-Blaster speakers and aim them next door! My payback noise will surely make the neighbors feel sorry for me if they know they've been disturbing my nesting South American hens.
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
There's no telling what we will do if we start down that mountain and our brakes give out! We will probably end up going into a rest area to collect tourist pamphlets for the area.
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
The vest, of course, is for protection. That way, in case you roll over you will always land right side up again, which is why you must always make sure your safety harness is correctly fastened. duh...I don't know. It's a terrible thing to lose your train of thought in such an intense environment!
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
Three days later, we were so thirsty our tongues were sticking to the plan.
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
Just to be sure I put my glasses on and then I could see my feet! "Hello, toes! Haven't seen you in so long!" Ha, Ha! This is great! Next thing you know, you will be skin and bones. No one will know you. Everyone will think you are Shamu the Orca if you wear a tuxedo before your diet is accomplished.
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
I am so limber I bet I could put my foot under my bra. I didn't have a pocket so that's where I kept the money from the yardsale.
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
But that would cause the enemy to unleash the entirety of his airforce!! The noise of the numberless engines would shake the earth.
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
she said with a wink. Great googlely-mooglely...that was just about the nicest thing anyone had ever said!
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
I hear those things can really mess you up. But when I got there, the doctor said "Ma'am, I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but that's not how you're supposed to wear the hospital gown." Well, I didn't see what the big deal was. After all, I was healthy as a horse!
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
First I went to Lowe's and bought some 2x4's, big plastic tubes, plywood, and carpet remnants. And to take pictures of the project from start to finish, I bought a disposable cardboard toilet paper roll. (Hey, I was in a hurry!) Besides, it only cost 89 cents.
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
You're getting wallpaper paste all in my hair! uh oh, I'm all out. That's OK, because we bought extra rolls just in case. Try to line up the red hexagons so they match. This has to be done very carefully! If you don't do it correctly, you will have me to deal with!"
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
I just stood there for a second because I was so amazed that a ruptured gas line could shoot flames that high! It must have been 30 feet into the air. We were all standing around when the septic tank pumper truck pulled up. "I understand you need a staple gun to finish that project.
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
I'll be the best Space Marine you've ever seen, I promise! Now please repeat your name very slowly. Because I have short-term memory loss, you may even have to punch the button repeatedly to make it work, okay?" "Wait! Don't hang up! I want to be sure I got it. Just hold on a second while I answer my cell phone........oh, and now there goes my beeper!
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
And it seemed to be getting closer! It might just be a squadron of Zentraedi fighters, looking for easy human prey! They're in for a big surprise because our landing wheels won't come down. I think we are going to have a very bumpy landing!
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
No one can take the smile off my face! It's going to stay there until you get a good principal!" "We don't want a good principal!" "We want more crackerjacks! We want more juice.
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
"Who left the window open?" He shouted. "Close that window before that monkey gets in!" But it was too late, the hot cheese was dripping down onto the bottom of the oven and causing a terrible night with Nielsen's ratings. This was the lowest ranked show ever! To improve things, we had to make sure everyone in the audience got at least a taste, so we passed out portions the size of your brain doesn't matter.
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
I know you will sound like a foghorn, and that will mean that you will need to put some totally awesome detailing on your car. We're talking flames comin' out of the freakin' wheel wells, a Confederate flag on either side, and the hood a big ol' skull ring -- solid silver!
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
Make them feel welcome! Here, I'll show you." With that, she turned around and punched her in the face as hard as she could.
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
I put it there myself!" I was completely flabbergasted! I had lost my third game of shuffleboard! What to do? I think I should sit out the next one and work out a new lodging arrangement. and chuckled nervously. Our best course of action was to put on life jackets right away and line up next to the lady in the fancy hat.
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
He had super strength, could fly, was invulnerable, yet was about as smart as a brick. His nemesis, Professor Poopypants, won a blue ribbon at the county fair for producing the longest poop--a record hard to beat.
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
Valentine's Day party. And I'm all for a healthy diet, but don't you think you're taking it a little far?" She just couldn't understand why anyone would resolve not to exercise. I mean what are we here for? We must improve our health! So we're focusing on diet, exercise, stress management and decluttering of house, home, and mind.
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
I got up early so I could watch all my favorite cartoons! First they played some oldies like Mighty Mouse and Mickey Mouse. Then the network switched over to the ads, which are even louder and more frenetic than the shows!
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
A spy, to be precise. My headquarters is Spy Base Alpha, and from here we have access to all communications satellites, private and government-owned foreign and domestic. Over here, we don't need money; we trade and barter for everything.
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
I hadn't applied my sunscreen evenly! How embarrassing! Now all I could do was sit on the cold hard concrete floor and wait for someone to bail me out of jail. Soon we felt better, so we hightailed it over to the rodeo to see how long we could stay seated on that wild bucking brown and white streaks on my skin!
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
"Ladies! You look exhausted!" The salesman crooned. "Have a seat on this bench while I go into Best Buy.
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
Soon their faces matched their chartreuse skin with their pointy ears and antennae. She never imagined Andorrans would be here! Totally confused, Jacqueline exclaimed "Fairy wings!" This ensemble would blow away the skeletal remains of the anorexic models. What a tragedy. But the show must go on.
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
And that is hard to find. To see a good selection I think I will have to go to the baths, and have a good soak. After that I should feel really blessed and just happy to be alive.
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
And yet, here are the little yellow wrappers!" There was a long, tense silence, until finally someone said, "Well, I'm hungry. Who's up for some Mickie D's?" We did know for sure however that neanderthals did NOT eat Chicken McNuggets.
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
I have no idea where the restrooms are in this store, and I need one bad! I need one so bad that I can't wait any longer for someone to help me! I'm going to climb up to the top shelf and get one myself! With that, I checked that no one was looking and threw my M&M's wrapper into the display toilet.
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
To add to the great nutritional value of the yogurt, you can add chopped tuna. That will add good protein without making you feel overfull. Eat quickly, and that saltine cracker will be gone before you know it.
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
For instance, how about the shape of an egg? We could use that for the windows, the furniture, and the whole enchilada really did fit on the makeshift picnic table. The helper carpenters sat down, famished, and dove right in to the ice cream with nuts and chocalate syrup.
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
I cried, and "All your base are belong to us!" Then I jumped over the wall and into the swirling vortex of fear! Countering the attack with another new move, the hovering spinning high kick, he propelled his opponent across the room flew a whirling bat ninja right at me. I was terrified! I screamed out for several long minutes, the elation of victory like electricity shooting through my body.
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
So we went to the front of the line to show our voter cards. banner. It was sad, in a way, since everyone knew that chewing gum really does stick to the bottoms of desks and stays there forever. So why not stick some on the voting booths for fun?
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
They were getting tired of all that harrassment. Yeah, and how about that possum! Always eating all their expensive IAMS and bowls of sugar! SUGAR! Right there next to the hill! We couldn't believe it! Such a concentration of food in such close proximity!
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
We took some of the money and used it for wiping up the spoiled milk in the back seat. Boy, did it stink! It smelled like the driver must be a smoker. Frowning, we decided we could first try vacuuming up all the fragments of dried vomit. If they aren't stuck to the upholstery. If they are, we can try to use a high powered spray washer with a jet nozzle...or to blow his big hair dryer over the towel-dried car, for a final touch-up.
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
What's the big deal? And who has time to do that? He cleaned his sink when the water would not go down any more.
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
So I grabbed the can of gasoline, pulled out a book of matches, and debated whether to vote for George Bush or John Kerry.
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
we heard bellowed from outside. It wasn't the first time we had heard it. The building shook with a bone-buzzing boom! Dust and debris fell as the bricks were loosened from the incredible shock. People across the street turned to look and gasped because streams of green sludge were rushing down the gutters and into the subway tunnel.
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
They were famous for gigantic fund-raising fairs. In order to have lots of crafts to sell, they spent all year collecting all sorts of proof that the teachers weren't doing ther job.
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
This is the best BBQ I've been to!" He shoveled some baked beans on my plate and one big greasy hog jowl.
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
"It's the best way to sneak up on someone, and then, the instant you know they see you, you shout, 'NINJA!'" He said that so loudly, I jumped.
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
Pilot! Pilot! I need a pilot! Oh, I forgot my plane ride is over. Good thing I asked for a Kosher meal. I guess that's why they gave me a plate of warm stir-fried vegetable with tofu crumbles." They figured I could use more protein and the oil from the stir-fry would satiate my hunger because the fat becomes trans-fat and demolishes your electrolyte balance; thereby making you feel dizzy and giving you a craving for filet mignon, wrapped in bacon and smothered in mushrooms and fried onions.
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
That, and spending an afternoon with President Bush at his ranch. He showed her how to bring down a runaway calf and hogtie 'em. he said.
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
We lowered the volume just in time before the other dancer jumps over you. The idea is to create the picture of water with the water birds in it.
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
I whispered back, "Now's our chance!" We carefully snuck around until we were right behind him, and with one swift movement, I lunged with my scimitar. It slid between the scales of the Minotaur King's armor and plunged deep into its side.
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
What a find! I grabbed it quickly because I wanted to add it to my collection. I tried it out too. While I was whirling it around my waist, I started to feel nostalgia for the carefree days of my youth, once so far away, but now closer for seeing the whole collection of Scooby Doos all in one place was amazing!
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
They were all holding uzis! The lead one proclaimed, "You have trespassed on holy ground, infidel, now you will put on your scuba gear because we are going underwater.
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
Fortunately I had 2 sets of handcuffs because I was sure going to need them! Now the keys to the handcuffs...where did I put them? Oh, I remember, I put them in the pocket of my jacket. Let me go check." While we were waiting, a guy ran through the font doors waving a gun around!
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
I think we will have to plant some more right away! Here, take this bag of grass seed and scatter it around the dining table, in between the ham, biscuits 'n' gravy, grits, and cornbread.
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
Something is destroying the village ahead!" They weren't scared. They had bombs, laser guns, machine guns, and they had a metal box that could change into a jet with a laser gun that could shoot stuff. as if they were fleeing from something. That's when we heard it: birdlike calls, a sound like distant rumbling thunder, and the snapping, cracking sound of large trees falling.
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
And it's so strong that if it eats a bomb, it won't get killed! And if you shoot it with bullets, it will die. Let me demonstrate. (Blam! Blam! Blam!) Oops, that was Roger and June's night light!
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
She grabbed them and shook them. And then ran. Kicking up dust, hollering at women, and playing music too loud. That's par for the course when you're in a motorcycle gang. Bonnie put on her leather jacket and her leather gloves; also her leather helmut, but around her neck she carefully wound a psychedelic silk parachute, which she used to land at Daytona Beach in the middle of about 100 bikers, with great fanfare.
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
We can just hold our breath. they jumped into the car and drove to the museum. They were so excited to see a dinosaur in the museum! Even though it was just the skeleton, somebody was scared. But then we realized: we were all scared. The forces of Hauptmann Gestapo were closing in, and Molly was really enjoying her Chinese Chop Suey.
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
Be sure to securely fasten your bungee cord before you jump!" That is, if I'm ever even at the Eiffel Tower again! We knew we were going to see lots of interesting sights, but we sure weren't expecting that!
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
Greg exclaimed as he ran to it. "It's out already!" But Xander said, " You know, I am getting hungry. Is there a restaurant around here anywhere?" And sure enough there was a Taco Bell right inside the store!
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
Sometimes they're so loud they are deafening; so cacophonous they pierce your ears; so mind-boggling they make your butt steam!
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
Everyone was totally exhausted and very irritable. Why one day in the mess hall, we had a terrible food fight when everyone was throwing fits about the insufficient supplies. "How do they expect us to eat this mess?!
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
Suddenly he turned and caught me! I couldn't help turning red, and I quickly turned my attention to his corn dog.
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
FIRE! Get out of the building! There's no time to lose! You must hurry because there's a bomb threat! Terrorists are threatening to destroy the entire campus!!" I couldn't believe it. All I could do was look around in amazement. "All these books must be at least a hundred years old!"
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
But there was no food left to be found, not even a bagel crumb, or a mashed pea, not even an infinitesimal speck of dust on my floors!" And if you let him sweep, then he'll want to shake the rugs outside.
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
"That's terrible, who would have thought ice cream could melt so fast!
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
"I have a better idea," I said, "Why don't you shnie that light over here?
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
And when we get there I will buy some sense, and gift-wrap it and give it to you! What were you thinking when you used your peanut butter sandwich as a bookmark?!! Now this book looks like a bunch of crap.
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
YOu're an idiot. Let me out of here! I want to go get a massage now. I feel tense. There's nothing like a good dose of Ex-lax to loosen you up. Yeah, just go sit on the pot and relax. Ha ha Then you can tell us all about it: why do you have the irrepressible need to straighten out the tassels at the ends of an area rug?"
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
What to do?! Maybe we should replace them with soy. Do you think anyone would be able to get all those wads of gum from underneath the tables? They must have accumulated for years! Here, take this old spatula and whack the back of the head of any customers who don't agree to 'super-size' their combos."
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
I exclaimed, "come out of the sun before you get skin cancer. Come and sample some of these fresh-baked biscuits with homemade apple butter and freshly churned butter. You cannot beat the taste! Eating these every day will make you feel like a million bucks! This will pep you up: a nice hot cup of hot tea!
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
"I don't care what anyone thinks , real ultimate power will soon be MINE!!!" With that, he jumped into the air doing a phoenix burning somersault, and launched himself into a flying killer leap, landing on his arch enemy and completely smashing his record for number of enemies smashed with a single swing of his Bayou Croc Crescent Kick.
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
Would you choose blue chip stocks or penny stocks? Whatever you choose you must be willing to keep what you buy for at least a decade.
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
Sam said, The gravity is very different here, so don't be doing any jumping. You might just head out into space! However one of the travelers did not believe him and did it anyway, and propelled himself into a black hole! The ship contorted in bizarre, unthinkable ways as the universe collapsed around them.
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
"Yes!" The Earl replied with a bow, "And I named the cheese after thee, milord."
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
his mom said, "your screen time is all used up for today. Tomorrow is a new day and you can renew your magazine subscriptions over the phone, but only if you act now!"
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
But on one particular face he saw himself! The similarity was remarkable! The eyes, the nose, even the way he parted his hair. He waved at him, and yelled, "Where did you graduate from? Podunk U.?!! Your degree must have been written with invisible ink!" He started to sit down, but then yelled again, "
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
I mean, he didn't even mention the name of the deceased! He spent most of the time talking about himself. As a result, they gave permission to build on the site of the historic battlefield never realizing that an apocolyptic tidal wave was only a few miles away and coming fast.
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
the time had come to eat a Burger King Whopper. "I want cheese on mine!" Greg whined. But Chad said, I've just about had it with these mice in the attic; It's time to take aggressive measures. Therefore I will dump this load of manure just where it will do the most good.