Betty's Turn-Down Game

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Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
I looked at the clock, and suddenly realized! It's summer! That must explain why we always want to have a picnic with friends and family. And when I finally checked the calendar, I realized our next house is going to need multiple fireplaces, because that last winter was a doozy!
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
But there truly was a big sigh of relief followed by the idea of shoring up the outer wall with bits of furniture and old crates. Once the defensive perimeter was taken care of, I finally had a chance to sit down and enjoy a cup of tea and some biscuits. You Yanks across the pond call them "cookies".
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
As my eyelids slid closed of their own volition, the last thing I heard from the crackling, dying radio was "Oh, the weather outside is frightful..." If I could just sleep for a minute or two, I could probably get enough strength to make it to the road. As my eyelids slid closed of their own volition, the last thing I heard from the crackling, dying radio was "Oh, the weather outside is frightful..."
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
Finally! My butt was sore from sitting around in the terminal for hours and hours.
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
It would take at least 16 hours to lambaste the turkey.... I mean brine roast the turkey...too LONG !! We would have to go the tried and true route which was to pack it full of apples and hope for the best.
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
And shelves? He never puts anything away. Someone else does it for him, just as when he wants to sit down, what do you think happens?? He realized he broke a string in the last movement! he mentally mumbled to himself. motion across his neck. Unfortunately, he didn't understand that you're supposed to take a deep breath first.
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
There used to be an old Sears & Roebuck Catalog to use for wiping but we had advanced to real rolling toilet paper...Yay!
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
I'm so thirsty I feel like I could drink ALL the soda. I jumped to my feet and cried out because I hit my head on an overhanging tree branch! As I held my hand to the hurty spot, all I could manage to say was I am ready for a real hamburger with all the fixings.
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
Sending IT* back. This was the most disappointing robotic vacuum I had ever used. 1 star! It got caught on everything! it even got stuck on logistics.*
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
Bridge was the broadest of wrestlers in the league, and about twice as wide as a mere mortal. He tried not to walk sideways to get through most doorways but he had to anyway, and he took in stride when the rest of us ribbed him about it.
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
In the garage? Ah, man.. I will just go buy some new paper at the local Christmas wrap store. They had every kind you could think of, but I was really drawn to the sparkly tissue wrapping paper!
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
Still, I ran on. I had to take a break and drink some ice cold Mountain Dew and eat a bite of pecan praline nougat covered in sticky napalm, which I made by dissolving Styrofoam in gasoline. This was the moment of truth.
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
And the texture was very light, like gossamer. Bewildered by so many things we had never encountered before, we knew this was only the beginning of the end. Streaking fire fell from the sky, and portals opened in the earth, from which spilled the uncountable, writhing forms of extradimensional creatures.
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
Just thinking about that garage is tying my gut in knots! I'm going to sweep all the possum poop out of the garage and give it to someone who would appreciate it.
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
Hmmm. Well, it did not matter because the power had gone out and it did not work anyway. I just hoped they knew how to fill out an unemployment form, because at the rate they're going, they're going to need to! In the last hour they emptied the cash registers into special bank bags and took them all to task on proper upsale technique.
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
Ohhh, poor little thing! All alone! All it needs is a nice sunny spot and some rain now and then! Passersby may or may not care to stop and admire the large healthy tuft of iridescent green light, shimmering and floating before our eyes.
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
Wild animals belong back in their natural habitats which could be the jungle, savannah, or maybe the deep, dark secrets of the mind.
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
That sounded good, but I had to wonder if there would be enough butter pecan ice cream to go around. I mean there were a lot of people here, and it looked as if every single one of them had brought their A-game. They were unbeatable.
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
So bright I had to shield my eyes with my hands and with a soft folded napkin lovingly wrapped around, I placed the tombstone behind the fresh grave, as requested.
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
We did not know what to expect in the morning. Imagine our surprise when we looked out the window and we saw snowflakes floating down from the sky. Some were clumped together, big and heavy, falling faster, so it seemed like they could probably walk down to the river if they put on heavy boots and around their necks they could wrap at least two hands around it!
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
Not me! I always like to sit down in a peaceful place to eat my pizza. But it is okay to have some background music like the theme music from the movie, "
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
They all leaned way back in their easy chairs and took a nap! No one could argue with that.
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
she declared. So everyone worked together to assemble them. Using ribbon and shrink wrap, I wrapped up all the junk I had found into neat little parcels and then advertised them on Ebay as "Mystery Gifts". I was shocked by how many people showed up to take the Enthusiasm Class.
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
came over and saw the title, He exclaimed, " There's literally a party going on in the hall outside my door!" He hadn't even realized it, though, because he had not taken a shower in so long! Oh well, at least the green bar of soap was not down to a sliver yet, and the roommate had brought his own pile of funky smelling shoes.
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
I hid behind the shrubs and biting my nails, waited for the manicurist to arrive. When she did, she immediately saw what I had been doing, and exclaimed, "These nails look like they've been through a shredder! Were you trying to scrape wallpaper off with them or something?
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
Somber, she looked straight into my eyes for a moment. she said gravely, "It is real." I shouted. Somber, she looked straight into my eyes for a moment.
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
My mind started going through all the things I could be doing instead: playing Minecraft, watching Youtube videos, I could even see the stains had all but disappeared!
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
I tried that ONE time, and it was getting deeper and deeper! Would we be even able to get out of the house?? We went to look for the snow shovel, but instead found the manhole cover that had been lost for two months! "This is fantastic!" I said, "I could sell this for $50,000 and send Ethan to William and Mary Law School!
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
her suitcase, that is! So we packed the extra stuff into a priority box and sent it to Hell in a handbasket! And there to welcome it into eternal damnation was none other than Xander and Ethan who decided to come for a visit too!!! After they brought it, he strapped it on his chest.
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
Maybe it was because their kitchens were so well-organized. In fact, anyone could just walk in and easily help themselves to croissants, chocolate eclairs, and mugs of steaming beef stew. Ladelling out a serving, I went out on the patio and enjoyed a big bowl of roasted chili peppers.
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
Who knew organic farming could be so aggravating that I decided to rewrite the whole list. Starting again with #1, I pledged to try again.
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
If you can't sing at least the first verse of Folsom Prison Blues, you'll get kicked out of the 4-H Club faster than you can say " Merry Christmas!" Or you can say, "
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
I think I will put it on the level ground. Last time, I situated my composter on a hill. I bet you can figure how that turned out. That's right. It turned over layer by layer as I rotated the barrel.
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
Meanwhile, several neighbors stopped by to see where the smell was coming from. They were holding handkerchiefs over their noses and were mumbling, " Aaahhh! and proceeded to have a coughing fit that lasted for approximately 20 seconds.
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
He roughly shoved me toward the edge of the precipice. Talk about getting ready to fall! Getting ready for falling? Thinking fast, I ran down the hill trying to stay ahead of the rolling pumpkin. I was hoping to catch it before it fell into the raging river down below. Unfortunately, just at the last second, I slipped in the mud and slid right into a big pile of manure.
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
Worth every penny! Not only was it useful for safely snagging escaped animals, you could also use it for compost. And when Spring comes, gently layer it around the exposed dirt.
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
Then I carefully placed them side by side in a plastic tray. I carried it over to the Speights to see what their opinion would be. And Danny exclaimed, " They're HUGE!" Unexpectedly, the plants were hit with a terrible blight which quickly made them perk up.
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
Who puts that in a box of chocolate covered cherries. I picked one out and looked closely and crawling out of it, I saw a grayish-white shadow.
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
I received it in the mail and was unsure how to transfer all my information, so I asked Greg to smash my old phone with a hammer!
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
And his line is "Ayyyy." Boooooo Wooooo was that an excellent comeback or what?! Wheeee we said as we sailed down the waterslide straight into a big pool of water mixed with just enough corn starch to Eat. Whaaaaat are you saying? You think I'm stupid? Well I will show you!
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
Who want a piece? Ethan will be glad to help you if you find your wallet is straining to hold all that money. First, we'll go out to lunch. Then we'll get a new phone.
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
It's so encouraging to see all the worms twisting and turning in the new worm farm which was another new project thought up by the very garden gnomes who now completed the whimsical tableau.
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
The most delicious part is the unique combination of chocolate chips, coconut, chopped pecans, and held together by welded high-gauge wire. Exquisitely beautiful, on the very top, there balanced a gymnast who was trying out for the Olympics! But he was nervous! Sweat trickled down his leg and got on the beam, and when he took his next step, he closed his eyes and took the first bite.
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
You will see gigantic rocks like you have never seen before! I nudged up against one, and it started to move toward a shady spot under a rock.
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
Confident I'd be OK, I took a big bite and froze. Never in my life had I ever tasted anything so disgusting and horrible. It must have been past its expiration date! I just had to spit it out onto the lawn. There, in the sun, I could see a big hydrogen firestorm.
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
That job took you to the back room to show you where to sit and how long it will take for the next assignment. In fact it should take about this long: 15 and a half femtoseconds.
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
And right on top I would squirt a big dollop of mayonnaise. It's good for you! It's Regular Ordinary Swedish meal time flies when you're having fun! Or as the famous Latin phrase puts it: " Carpe Noctem !" So we worked through the night putting the final touches on the family portrait.
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
Do you want to take a trip to some exotic tropical island. Hmmm I think this destination would be a good choice: the unemployment line!
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
Now you are all set for a very Merry Christmas! Sit back, relax, and take a big sample of that egg nog !! I think we deserve it ! Arrange them in a semi-circle under the Christmas tree, but make sure they are not near any pets.
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
He went into anaphylactic shock and died. Oh well, more brownies for us. But the plumber was allergic to walnuts! He went into anaphylactic shock and died. Oh well, more brownies for us.
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
"What!" I exclaimed. "I'm a high-class dude, so I require REAL POWER." I stared quizzically at Vladimir Putin, who was in turn staring intensely at a full-size horse and licking his lips. With a glorious roar, he hefted it over his shoulders and tried to go through the front door.
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
Just jump! As soon as you get your balance, you can play Pac-Man with your feet ! Yes! It is possible and it will save your hands from getting that dreaded Ebola virus! Get away from me with those unwashed hands, those filthy clothes, those rock formations look suspicious."
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
I bet you traveled on a expired visa! Bad boy! Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? I'm talking about the ICE, of course, and they don't have space suits safe enough to last over 6 months on Mars. So to be truly safe, they would need to suit up in 30 seconds or less!
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
Pack wisely, because the ants and mice can get into any little crevice to eat carefully prepared a series of dangerous, deadly traps leading up to my bathroom. My wife insisted I was being paranoid, but I had to be absolutely certain that the air conditioner would never break down again.
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
That's why when there's a new game coming out that I want, I always get scared if I'm approaching a shadowy corner. I'm very cautious in that case because I really don't want for a dinosaur to eat me.
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
"They'll never ever find their way outta here with all the lights out! The whole theater is completely dark, and the ushers are busily passing out fliers advertising a competing movie theater!" they were yelling. "Union forever!"
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
Just when the tension was almost too much to bear, the elastic snapped in my sweat pants, and I had to quickly step up the pace. I'll never burn off those calories from last night's dinner at this rate.
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
Smell that? It's napalm. In the morning. I LOVE IT! It smells like victory and then, when you least expect to find roly poly bugs in the flower pots.
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
Yo, I couldn't wait to get home to play Ice Cream Tycoon! I pulled into the driveway, and in the moonlight I saw something shiny half-buried in leaves.
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
But was it distilled or well water? To test it, we inserted a non-compete clause into the document. It now read, "I (fill in your name) will not directly or indirectly engage in any business that competes with the cupboard of Old Mother Hubbard."
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
Happiness is cozy, soft, and green. How could anyone argue against me? Do they want to get punched? Do they want me bring the thunder? Do they want clean air or warm houses? They cannot have both !! In fact, over their noses they may have to wear tinfoil hats to protect them from the mind-reading satellites used by an ancient civilization to battle aliens.
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
My mouth began to water and I ran for the ramp for the plane, but just as I reached it, they started pulling up the stairs, and then I loudly screamed, "
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
Now doesn't a bacon Philly cheesesteak sound good right now instead of an ol' plastic one.
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
prrrecciouusss... Those hobbitses are always stealing from us. Those nasty little roaches were everywhere! Someone must have left food in here! Ah, I found an old lunch bag! And in it were stale pieces of air. There wasn't enough oxygen to breathe!
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
It's actually going to be a Midnight Madness Sale and we will certainly be going to it and after that we want to get a bite to eat at the newly opened wormhole in the fabric of space!" The crew silently gazed out the viewportals at the void of purest black, which was at least 50 kilometers across, and was surrounded with a coruscating aura of all manner of colors as particles of light were sucked in at speeds exceeding 120 mph !!
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
We want to get all this cleaned up and haul all the junk to the Gloucester Short Lane ice cream parlor, where we ate so much we could barely fit in our newly-reorganized garage. ice cream....
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
"I don't want the malls to close until midnight! Because then I will have time to start shopping for Groundhog Day!!!!!!!!!!"
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
we are doomed...... They were now known to be in cahoots with the left wing red diaper doper babies. we are doomed...... But by that point there must have been at least 1,000 zombies! They were now known to be in cahoots with the left wing red diaper doper babies. we are doomed...... We'll marinate them in 4 ounces of gooey, green, groddy BRAINS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
Then, we passed our box of clutter in a circle like Musical Chairs, and whoever ended up with the box, then that person had to chase the Fly Lady all over the room with a butterfly net.
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
They specialize in sneaky stuff like letting the air out of the sweatband of the hat where I found a secret note! The note said, "
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
I am so hungry I could eat a WHOLE pizza!" Xander exclaimed, "
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
After spending most of my life looking through corrective plastic lenses, I'd finally decided to take the plunge and get laser eye surgery. I'd been saving up for a while, because the operation costs two stitches were all that was needed to close up the gaping hole in the ceiling so big, he could see the sky!
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
Abiathar needs Artorios's help. So Abiathar asked him to pass the potatoes. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we do some serious bashing! After dinner, he got to his feet and threw a zombie up in the air with his Jawbreaker, while at the same time he grabbed a troll by the ankle, spun him around and launched him into orbit with one flick of his manly wrist.
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
I jumped off the building right into the middle of 5 contaminated thugs who began pummeling the Playstation in frustration. Hey! That'd make a good name for a game: "Playstation Frustration"!
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
So I poured on them some high powered weed killer. I looked like I was wearing HAZMAT gear, but that stuff is dangerous. It did the trick though-- only a few minutes passed before I realized that I had the wrong seeds! The packet I needed was still in the garage in the bucket next to the burning pile, where I throw all the weeds and pine needles and other detritus that needs to get burned up.
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
and put it in the dumpster. With that junk out of the way, I was able to start moving furniture around so it made more sense.
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
HIT THE BRAKES!! HIT THE--" He never finished his sentence, however, because that biggy size hot chocolate just spilled in his lap! He swiftly landed in full view of the spectators that had gathered to watch the race!
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
Or sell one of his beamers. Or he could always try to throw up in the bedpan. Why don't the nurses ever come when you need them? Maybe it's because they accidentily stitched him up with tools still inside his abdominal cavity!
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
Rogers, of Mr. Rogers Windows! "Hey folks! I'm Mr. Rogers of Mr. Rogers Windows! Did you know that poor-quality windows could cost you a bundle in heating bills? That's why I always read the Dilbert cartoon as soon as I get to work. That turns out to be the best part of the day for me because he makes me feel like I'm in control of my financial destiny.
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
I peeked around and suddenly saw that someone was peeking back at me! It was none other than Mr. T, leaning out the window of his 1982 GMC van, yelling, "Get out of the road, sucka!" I ran toward the van to try and get his autograph, but he growled, "I ain't got time for your jibba-jabba, fool!"
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
We started laughing hilariously and we had to enunciate to be understood. If you mispronounce something you could really offend somebody by saying something you didn't intend. and you accent the positive and reject the negative, and everything will always look better when you roll your R's, you sound right Scottish.
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
First I put on a jacket, gloves, and on my head, I put a red nose on the reindeer and called him Rudolph. Just like the song goes: "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer...
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
My baby!" We came running and saw many tentacles creeping out of the hatch, and they were reaching for a rope to pull themselves out before the Lazor Beam Hydra returned!!!!!!!!
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
and then they weren't sure what to do with the toothpicks. Nonchalantly, they looked around for the nearest restroom, not wanting to look in dire need, even though they certainly felt satisfied!
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
I realized that whichever one of us was driving would really have to pay attention, knowing that they were about to be invaded by Germany again! Already, I could hear the sound of heavy traffic.
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
I asked. he exclaimed, "I want paper not plastic! You stupidhead!" He stomped his feet and then he yelled, " God bless us, every one!" A tear ran down my cheek as a sudden blast of frigid, snowy air reddened my nose, numbed my cheeks, caught my breath and blew all my packages into a snowdrift.
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
He slapped a $500 dollar bill on the counter. "Those are out of circulation!" Bill exclaimed. the customer replied smugly.
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
Boy, it stank, but the flames reached to pick up a jar of homemade apple butter! I had to squint to read the obiturary, but I managed to make out "squished by a giant pumpkin"! I shuddered; I now knew why I liked pumpkin pie so much.
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
There's no title, no subject...How would I begin to know what you mean? I think you should take a break now in order to crush those who oppose us." He then tried to use the cash register, but it exploded! Into a million pieces of pillow filling!
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
It's very hard to do. But you would know that being the seasoned astronaut that you are. Why you could probably teach us to perform an EVA correctly and not drift away from the craft. First, secure your seatbelt and your helmet and make sure the main power switch is turned to cheese, just as the Lunar Society of Cheese-Lovers had predicted.
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
What a easy test this was! I had learned this stuff in high school. I breezed through the first half, and then my heart sank as the teacher chided loudly, "NO, NO, NO...you're doing it wrong!"
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
a voice exclaimed. with at least a gallon of premium unleaded. Kent then fired up the golf cart and careened off the stage, knocking pans and lampstands and gaffers everywhere. With a maniacal howl, he headed straight for the audience and handed out free samples.
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
We went to Outdoor World and found 2 very dirty diapers behind the bookcase. Ewww! Smelly! And the Welcome Wagon ladies were already coming up my front steps! The quickest thing I could do was put them into a big cardboard box. If I hurried, I could get to Warehouse Store and buy another 1000 diapers before they go to college!
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
We much have been too noisy ourselves because the neighbors called up and said, " I just wondered if you knew there's a bowling alley right up the road. It's really not necessary for you to practice at home. I think they're even open at this time: your mouth!
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
But think about it, how are you going to avoid that big traffic jam up ahead?
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
They were going so fast, the asphalt was melting. The pavement started to get sticky, and that made the tires start to melt.
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
In fact it cost a dollar. The cigarette lighter cost a dollar. The foil pinwheel toy cost a dollar.
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
Stuff like what to get and what to avoid at the grocery, how to eat out smartly, and above all, remember it's not about a number, it's about how you feel!
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
I didn't have a pocket so that's where I kept the money from the yardsale. Those chilly coins were a problem though, so we stunned them with electric shocks.
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
I think we may have flown into enemy territory! And you know what that means! That means we will have to try to land at the closest airport we can find!
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
"I'm only doing that today," he answered, "tomorrow I'm going to upgrade my PDA to have 256 MB of RAM! she said, "I just can't relax unless I know that you have other clothes to wear besides one bearing logos and movie quips from Star Wars, Star Trek, Tron and Hackers, I'll never go out with you!"
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
My recommendation is have a cup of hot tea and a small plate of three soft chewy dog treats, the kind with little meaty bit in the middle." "Surely you don't mean for me to wear the hideous hospital gown in public, do you?!! Man!
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
"What?!" "Well, you didn't expect him to throw up on it, did you? Tee hee!" Steamed, I went to the kitchen and got a knife. It was the best thing I could think of to prevent the neighbor's cats from invading and taking over the condo. Another thing I tried was screwing into the ceiling one of those screws with the ring, or eye, on the end, and threading string through it in order to tie it to a dumbbell.
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
First I assembled the tools and instructions, and then I took a dare and tasted the wallpaper paste. my mouth tasted like wallpaper paste.
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
It must have been 30 feet into the air. We were all standing around when the septic tank pumper truck pulled up.
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
Before I knew it, what should pull up in my driveway?! It was a car full of phase rifles and doom grenades!
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
Somebody slow them down! Even if you have to jump up and down and sing Yankee Doodle. And that's exactly what I did, much to the surprise and shock of the pilot, the rudders were stuck, and the plane was started to pitch sideways! There was only one thing to do: activate the afterburners!
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
We want more juice. Fluff up our pillows! Don't you know who we are?
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
Got your expensive Ginsu knives?? Great. Take them out and smile with satisfaction at that golden-brown glazed finish! Next, add 12 ounces of diced beef. For this I prefer to use a non-stick pan, as opposed to a stick pan.
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
and on the back it would say "got r00t?" Then everyone will know that you grew up in the Sixties. We can tell because your clothes look so cool, they have to be made in Greenland by eskimos.
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
I told her, "You have to SMILE at the customer! Make them feel welcome! Here, I'll show you." With that, she turned around and punched her in the face as hard as she could.
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
I had lost my third game of shuffleboard! What to do? I think I should sit out the next one and work out a new lodging arrangement. and chuckled nervously. Our best course of action was to put on life jackets right away and line up next to the lady in the fancy hat.
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
The pressure was just too much. Before I could stop it, great volumes of gas filled the room of guests who had just arrived from the theater. They were all dressed in furs and diamonds, tuxedos and tails, and they all looked at each other with wonder, mingled with disgust.
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
A big job, but somebody's got to do it, and it might as well be YOU! So we're focusing on diet, exercise, stress management and decluttering of house, home, and mind. A big job, but somebody's got to do it, and it might as well be YOU!
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
Bam! The rockets landed with a great sound like a car crash! But it was the dishes, falling on the kitchen floor because the kids were up on the counter trying to get their own breakfast! Bam! Bam! The rockets landed with a great sound like a car crash! But it was the dishes, falling on the kitchen floor because the kids were up on the counter trying to get their own breakfast!
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
Remember how heavy those wallets and purses used to get? Sometimes they seemed to weigh as much as bowling balls! Even though he was a very strong man, he wasn't strong enough to defeat Herr Kapitan in hand-to-hand combat. As a result, he was disgraced--and grievously wounded.
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
A lady brought us some cold drinks. Soon we felt better, so we hightailed it over to the rodeo to see how long we could stay seated on that wild bucking brown and white streaks on my skin!
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
And it's no wonder: the workers behind the counter looked as if they had been shopping for three days straight! "Ladies! You look exhausted!" The salesman crooned.
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
that's right... Perfect! She's a door. The next girl can pose on this poof chair.
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
To see a good selection I think I will have to go to the baths, and have a good soak. After that I should feel really blessed and just happy to be alive.
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
We called the photographer over to get his opinion of the background, and then we set up the .50-caliber machine guns to defend our site from looters. Rare artifacts can fetch a healthy price on the black market, just like scarred old remnants of ancient civilizations.
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
In fact, you may find that the selection of 2x4s has way too many knots in it. In which case, you should start over. As much of a headache that is, it'll be even worse if you led mold take control.
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
It's counter-productive. Stay focused on eating everything in sight. You may end up being bulimic, but at least that won't kill you. Probably. Your other alternative is to eat yogurt 3 times a day.
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
"You haven't even seen the rooftop gardens yet!" and this time, do it right.
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
Running as fast as he could, he yelled over his shoulder, "I've had enough of this!" Even louder, he screamed, " GET LOSE!! YOU CANNOT COMPARE WITH MY POWERS!!"
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
We should have plenty of coffee and doughnuts to show our appreciation for all the free handguns being handed out at the NRA rally!" Meanwhile, across the street, the DNC rally was handing out free copies of the Communist Manifesto, which were all autographed by Snoop Doggy Dog and Jesse Jackson.
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
He had been locked up ages; he couldn't remember when he got his last rabies shot. Was it time for a booster? Puzzling over this, he decided to call for help from the adjoining nest, so they could quickly get the worms underground before the birds got them.
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
We even brougnt out the banners of eye-catching, colorful cloth were tied up in various locations around the perimeter of the parking lot for the purpose of raising money for the annual sack race.
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
The dizziness. Sleep-deprived and caffeinated, her psyche was a dangerous mixture of sluggish reasoning and irritation.
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
Never mind scoop it up and throw it into the dumpster parked on the side of the house.
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
Me dumb. Me stupid. Me go the wrong way on a one-way street. Me knock you into the middle of the walls of the building across the alleyway!"
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
In fact, to collect all the sticks needed, the teachers and parents had to come to some sort of agreement. The parents wanted some say in the content of the curriculum, while the teachers wanted a billiard table and a wet bar.
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
He shoveled some baked beans on my plate and one big greasy hog jowl. I looked down and could feel my breakfast coming up. I quickly leaned over and threw up, deftly avoiding potentially lethal food poisoning. Then I grabbed a ticket to go see the biggest cow on the planet.
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
"Who did this to you?" They asked. "NINJA!" He yelled "Stop the presses! Stop the presses!!" The editor asked, "What's the matter?"
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
Pilot! Pilot! I need a pilot! Oh, I forgot my plane ride is over. Good thing I asked for a Kosher meal. I guess that's why they gave me a plate of warm stir-fried vegetable with tofu crumbles."
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
You can just sit in the shade of the trees and enjoy the breeze and listen to the crunching of the tacos, the sloshing of the margaritas, and the sizzling of the fajitas. Ah what sounds of San Antonio-- together with the unforgettable smell of refried beans, tortillas and salsa!
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
First I purchased my required leotard, tights, and the only other necessary item: a pretty pink tutu!
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
To remedy that Ben-Gay is good. Otherwise you can also rub on some invisibility potion. Then we could more safely find our way there. So many dangers beset us, we scarcely conceived of ever making it through the maze alive.
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
The merchant told me this was the last day he would be open. Before I could say another word, the air shimmered around us and a transdimensional vortex appeared in mid-air, sucking the entire bazaar into oblivion before my very eyes!
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
"You sure look prepared! Where are we going? To be, or not to be, that is the question." Clearly we had to go to London, to celebrate Shakespeare and see the Great Wall of China.
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
I'm Powers. Detective Max Powers. I'm the man. I'm YOUR man. I can get the job done. You ask me, and I will tell you. Yes, I am the suspect. But I assure you I didn't do it. Please note how cooperative I'm being.
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
They seem to like that. But they don't seem to care much for city folk. They were always coming around here, blabbing about how much nice it is up north, where they have eaten the grass right down to the bare ground.
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
Clearly he was going crazy. Why else would he, John Kerry, ever think he could be president?
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
We have English, Boston, variegated; why we even have poison oak and poison ivy! Now you must beware of the last two because they are poisonous. More poisonous than a brown recluse, in fact! They're so poisonous, that instead of killing a person when the person eats it, this carnivorous plant, averaging 50 feet high, EATS PEOPLE!
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
"What?!" she shouted. "I can't hear you!" He couldn't hear her, either, but he knew she was talking because her lips were moving. But he could not hear her! Weird! He must have deafened himself with the loud engines he was working on. Now she was getting mad because he wasn't answering her.
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
She worked quickly to mix up the scones for the Scottish bakerycafe. The dining room was filling up fast, and when she looked in the refrigerator she was dismayed to find they had run out of air tanks. "Oh, I guess we can't go diving for oysters after all!
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
We hadn't been to a museum yet so we jumped up and headed for the closest Starbucks. "Boy, these things are everywhere!"
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
The ones that turn into a robot and then into a jet plane and then into the Toy Department again to see if anything was missing from the shelves. YES! There in the space where the Spiderman costumes used to be were stacked piles of DVDs of Return of the King, Platinum Series Edition.
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
Maybe it's to interrupt conversations with long drawn-own guttural (Yeah from the gut to be sure!) sounds that brought with them whisps of sickening smells that were sure to make even a strong man wilt like a flower that's been in the sun too long.
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
We thought that was a strange thing to do, because we had already just finished doing 100 push-ups. Needless to say, we were pretty exhausted, and ready for a break. We cautiously asked the drill sargeant if he would let us have some more corned beef hash before we had to do another 100 push-ups.
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work we go; hum,hum,hum,hum....hum,hum,hum,hum, Hi Ho Hi Ho, Hi Ho Hi Ho." They were such a happy bunch! So happy that they cheered, in chorus, "GROUP HUG!"
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
"I am become death--destroyer of worlds!" I growled as I walked in. She said, " Hand me that application and I will see if you are qualified to take any classes.
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
Martin! Do you have any CHEESE?!! We want CHEESE!! We ain't had nothin' to eat for three stinkin' days but this moldy bread. Yeah, and we need some meats! And to go with that some milk!"
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
"That was quite a steep waterslide! I don't think I want to go down that again!
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
"I have a better idea," I said, "Why don't you shnie that light over here? I am afraid I am going to fall into a dead end! Stunned with discouragement, no one spoke for a few moments. "I wish we had a stereo. Then we could listen to tunes while waiting to be rescued."
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
"Just kidding!" I yelled. "It's just a joke!" But it didn't matter. Everyone brought their posters for the big Super Readout Day. And they set up a display on the lawn outside the library. But the weather report was not so good, so when they looked up into the sky they saw not only the police helicopters arriving in the distance as reinforcements, but also the vultures had already started circling.
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
My friends said, "Quickly, turn off the electricity before she's fried!" I lunged for the power switch, but just then there was a loud explosion outside the meditation room! What had happened?! We all ran outside in our white robes and saw to our surprise a big birthday cake, covered with candles and exquisitely patterned icing, sitting on the table.
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
I was busy fainting from the horror. Oh... The Horror... The supervisor clapped me on the back as the cameras flashed; but I didn't notice.
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
After only a few minutes they began to hatch. "I don't know what to do with all these eggshells. Maybe I should crush them into little bits and bake them in the oven and feed them back to the chickens.
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
I'll kill YOU!" And with that, they clapped the dust off their hands, clapped each other on the shoulders in appreciation and camaraderie, and clapped a leather helmet on everybody's head. Then they all stood in a circle and shouted the team's motto long and loud. And that motto was "
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
Hand it over or I will give you a million dollars in exchange for leaving the country and never mentioning this again!" Extending his hand, Greg expected a benefits package which includes prescription and dental.
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
So they hurried to put on their Superman underwear, because it was as inspiring as nothing else is.
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
But only an hour later, the King and all his countrymen gathered on the field of battle. The enemies were pouring across the hillsides, and they were all wearing clothes that were way too lightweight for the unexpected turn of events which had placed them here, shivering, being splashed with icy hot oil poured from the castle walls.
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
Let me get a closer look. Let me get a closer look too, said Barrister. But Miss Na Tasha shoved in and grabbed the magnifying glass, knocking it against the side of the minivan, leaving a big dent.
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
He waved at him, and yelled, "Where did you graduate from? Podunk U.?!! Your degree must have been written with invisible ink!" He started to sit down, but then yelled again, "
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
There just had to be a way to satisfy all the parties involved. Maybe if he bought more turkey pepperoni everyone would be happier.
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
When he opened the cabinet, Lo, and behold, he found his missing bottle of pills. Oh, how he had suffered without them! Now, long gone would be the pain.