Betty's Turn-Down Game

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Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
We can see the whole countryside and we can see all the people in the truck stop, staring at the calendar, realizing it's only a few days before Summer!
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
Something stinks, and it's not the flowers. Time for a change of clothes: work boots, old jeans, and that t-shirt with a hole in it will be the perfect outfit for attending the funeral.
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
It was morning. The light was soft and gray, low in the sky. The snowfall of the previous days dampened the sound; there was only a slight rustling of tree branches as the wind brushed over the hills.
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
uh oh, what's that noise? It sounds like burping...could it be from that big Christmas dinner?? I am still investigating that turn of events. The most suspicious aspect of the whole thing was how many armed guards we saw. For some reason, security had been increased overnight by a factor of 10.
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
and gobs of dripping fat. What to do? Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Turn off the lights! Pretend we're not home! We don't have enough food for all those people! Just kidding!
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
And shelves? He never puts anything away. Someone else does it for him, just as when he wants to sit down, what do you think happens??
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
We steeled our resolve and And? And? And? sometimes I want to hug somebody.
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
Plus a thick milkshake made with real ice cream and in addition a dollup of fairy dust. Yeah, like actual dust from a fairy, we couldn't believe it. A little dude with wings showed up with a handful of sparkly crap. Anyway, it backfired horribly: we were just covered in kiwi fruit puree and crushed red cherries and pineapple.
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
Once, they were humble, housecleaning appliances. Now, the weaponized and evolved robovacs had become an army, one which had a single purpose: to clean up the filth that is humanity.
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
A bit of a lunkhead friend, though, considering when I asked him to give us an autograph, he grabbed the nearest thing to do it on. And now you know why this IHOP menu is framed and hanging on the wall. But he was also my friend. A bit of a lunkhead friend, though, considering when I asked him to give us an autograph, he grabbed the nearest thing to do it on.
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
It was truly a monumental day. Everyone was happy. Everyone was full of good food. And everyone vowed, "I won't stop until I get my revenge on you!" It was then I finally realized as I reflected on everything that had happened, that this had truly been the best Christmas ever!
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
Swollen from recent rains, it would be a good protection from big brown grizzly bears who roam around always looking for tasty wheat! It's got vitamins, minerals, and amino acids. Everything your body needs. But it looks and tastes like snot so wash it down with very dry sticks and pine straw.
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
Having trudged for miles upon miles through untamed wilderness, they at last collapsed as they reached the final step of their journey. In the valley below them lay a dangerous but lucrative ruin from ages past, filled with strange creatures and treasures.
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
He flipped the couch over violently, and once he had our attention, screamed, " NOT THOSE!!" Exasperated, I loaded my shotgun. No more screwing around. Sometimes, only brute force can solve a problem. Locked and loaded, I peeked out the cat door to see what all the commotion was about....
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
But this is an important decision, so I'll keep thinking. There's something to be said for being out in the sunshine and fresh air, so maybe I should think about wearing rubber gloves when I am washing the dishes at Jim's. After all I don't want hands that look like a pair of sunglasses!
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
I said, "Nothing can grow in space, it's completely inhospitable!" Sure enough, out the viewport, I saw a giant squid! so there was only one solution for that = a heaping helping of whoopass. "Impossible!" I said, "Nothing can grow in space, it's completely inhospitable!"
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
the whole family had to move. So be very, very careful never to leave a trail of crumbs to your bedside! Nor should you neglect to shine a flashlight into all the dark corners.
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
There, I was greeted by a flock of trained roadrunners! As a group, they ran ahead to lead me, looking behind every so often to be sure no roadrunners were following us. Next time I would bring some birdseed and scatter.
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
The winner would be able to do it with the least amount of elbow grease....and what a relief that was! Because who wants a elbow smothered in 100% maple syrup that was imported from Vermont.
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
And isn't that part of the fabric of life? Letting yourself just enjoy all the simple things is life are so valuable. Surely someone would figure out that what I really wanted was a simple joy.
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
DELICIOUS! MMMM! DELICIOUS! We finally decided to DIG IN! MMMM! DELICIOUS! I've been waiting for at least 60 minutes we were in a quandary of what to do... We finally decided to DIG IN! MMMM! DELICIOUS! I'm starving!!! I've been waiting for at least 60 minutes we were in a quandary of what to do...
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
Not only were the kids running around like crazy, the adults were really getting hungry and with the hunger came grumpiness.
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
Maybe some hopeful whiners and a few frowning judges. It's always a boost to the self-confidence when the person in charge starts ranting and raving, maybe someone needs to pour on his head a bucket of vomit!
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
Choosing his favorite one, he popped it into the microwave for 3 minutes, and when he took it out, it looked like a true man cave!
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
That is, until the water hose sprang a leak! In fact,it was full of pin holes, or should I say teeth marks!
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
And while you are there, make sure you pick up some latticework or fishing line because as the vine grows, it wraps around everything in its path and starts choking the other plants when then in desperation they start to prune it, they don't know such actions are misguided.
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
If you mix darks with whites, the whites will turn pink if you wash the reds with them! What were you thinking?!! You know those men in your house don't want to wear pink underwear when I had to go to the locker room at the gym!
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
Is that cool or not? Glo-Quips sent a photographer and when he came by, he shoveled the sidewalk in front of their french doors, even though everybody knows they never salt the roads anymore because the salt rusts out the undercarriage of the metal railing.
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
When she got to the bottom, she dug in the sand with her hands, feverishly trying to find the return plane ticket. It had disappeared ! Maybe we should look for it in the shoe store!
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
It must have weighed two pounds. It almost covered the plate! Next to it was a plastic pot containing a pitiful plant, nearly dead from lack of internet service. When will it come back on??
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
I said, with enthusiasm, " Let's celebrate our resoluting by going out to eat!! I think we should go to the Yoga studio and sign up for some classes. That should really help because my nose would not stop running.
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
That would be SANTA!! The only one who delivers more Christmas presents than UPS! But you know he needs all the help he can get, and you can help by registering all your information on the website, so every time from then on you won't have to type in your office on your clicky-clacky IBM keyboard from 1981.
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
Last time, I situated my composter on a hill. I bet you can figure how that turned out. That's right. It turned over layer by layer as I rotated the barrel. I expected a bad odor, but all I smelled was the thick, sticky smoke from Stevens' smouldering burn pile.
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
Then everything continued as before, except, curiously, one boy on a skateboard crashed through the Deli's plate glass window and he landed in the bin of expired fruit. Stunned, the grocer just stood there holding the orange he had been peeling, he squeezed it a little too hard and a spurt flew directly into his display of twenty-five varieties of Deli Bologna!
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
We need lots of colorful leaves, and lots of dog poop which was scattered here and there in our ditch.
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
Oh no! So he slowly slithered backward, but they had spotted him! They marched toward him with military precision, but in slow-motion.
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
And giant spikes made out of wood logs! And the surrounding area was covered in moldy gray moss that smelled like gym socks that had been stuffed with rotten onions and baby vomit.
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
Uncertain, I reached out my hand and gingerly nudged the doughnut. It seemed to be moving by itself!
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
For that, you probably want to consider buying a 15,000 amp generator. Who knows when another hurricane will come through or maybe an ice storm? Because if that happened we would all have to go back to writing cards and letters. How different that was! We had to wait days or weeks for an answer!
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
Well I will show you! I will give you a big fat wallet full of money if you will go over there and smack that bully.
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
Why me, you ask??? Because you didn't eat your Wheaties or drink your whole milk.
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
Obviously that will help improve the borders of the property by planting every 18 inches a small new sprout. So many new beginnings! It's so encouraging to see all the worms twisting and turning in the new worm farm which was another new project thought up by the very garden gnomes who now completed the whimsical tableau.
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
The most delicious part is the unique combination of chocolate chips, coconut, chopped pecans, and held together by welded high-gauge wire. Exquisitely beautiful, on the very top, there balanced a gymnast who was trying out for the Olympics!
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
I decided to take a picture. I took out my camera and turned around facing west where in the distance we could see giant floaters in our vision! Aaaaahhh! We must have a detached retina or something!!
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
They are so cute. If I tried to take a Koala cub home, I am sure the airport authorities would introduce me to Connor Trinneer, AKA Trip Tucker from Star Trek: Enterprise!
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
It's also hard to get anything posted on Facebook! Those crazy kids need more medications for their birthdays! Each person gets to pick a teacher to go home with.....we pick Miss Bonnie!
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
If only I had remembered all the eggnog was gone! Why is the eggnog always gone? Why is the New Year's number always depicted as novelty eyeglasses? If only everyone would stand still!
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
My job sucks! I could scarcely do worse!" So the next morning try again. Every new day is a new chance to redeem all your failures of last year simply by giving yourself room to dream of the possibilities. Sometimes all it takes is a little gutsy resolve!
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
Make sure every strand of ribbon is curled in a spiral and hangs down over the back of the tongue. "Uvula," I said, as I filled in the crossword puzzle. "Patina is the next clue," I pondered out loud, "9 letters, starts with a V." I looked around for help, and there, just out of reach, was just what I needed: more Scotch tape!
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
I need a gas mask! Open a window! Go next door and borrow a plumber's snake, the electric kind with lots of power! It's okay to rent those because they disinfect them with a substance called Liquid Nails which I bought online from a company named Tethys, after the Titaness of fresh water."
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
Behind him was sunlight. He checked his INVENTORY. It held a Book, a Knife, a...shoot! He dropped his torch and it sputtered, going out in moments. He was left in utter darkness and promptly eaten by a grue. Well-stuffed tummies are definitely a part of Christmas: pot-bellied snowmen, Santa...all indicative of prosperity and feasting.
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
Get away from me with those unwashed hands, those filthy clothes, those rock formations look suspicious." Indeed, upon further observation, my screen was all smeared so I read up on the internet how to clean it, and it said to spray it with glow-in-the-dark paint.
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
The deepest reaches of space have always been one of humanity's most sought-after mysteries. What lies beyond our Milky Way, in that massive universe?
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
That will mean fewer times you have to refill the pitcher at your lemonade stand.
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
Then switch it back to "on". Then I started flicking it back and forth rapidly, making the lights in the room flash like a cheap rave. All I needed to do was add music, and then people would really flock to my door.
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
The lady said, "That'll be $700!" He gasped, and reached for his can of mace! Everyone dived under their seats, and immediately someone switched on the vacuum cleaner.
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
I had come too far and seen too much to stop now! So I kept going until I reached the end of of the road...and there was the sun setting in a gorgeous display of orange and gold !! sign. I had come too far and seen too much to stop now! So I kept going until I reached the end of of the road...and there was the sun setting in a gorgeous display of orange and gold !!
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
Smell that? It's napalm. In the morning. I LOVE IT! It smells like victory and then, when you least expect to find roly poly bugs in the flower pots. One must get rid of them by voting for the Republican candidate!
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
It's not like anyone can smell you at 10,000 feet! But by the time you finish your last task, you have run out of time and lost all your money causing you to giggle with delight.
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
But warm tea goes down like vanilla pudding: smooth and chewed just as if it came out of a brand new electric stirring mechanism. So now if you have peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, or peas porridge in the pot nine days old, you can be assured it will be well-stirred even if you're not around.
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
Suddenly a riot ensued, and someone called the geology professor. Considering his knowledge of continental drift, they must have thought that he had a colonic explosion !
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
But things don't always taste the way we remember them.... This time the Moon Pies tasted like sea urchin soup, straight from the set of "Iron Chef"!
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
Could it have been that I had made them myself and forgotten? At any rate, there was nothing to do now but include them in the meal. I didn't have time now to baste the turkey. Drat! I just turned it over and dabbed on plenty of makeup before leaving the house. "You look like a street walker!"
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
Straight from the can! Deee-licious! Now I am going to mix it all up in my new blender. Ooops! I forgot to put on the lid! All across the walls and floor were diplomas, certificates, degrees, and other accolades from a variety of prestigious institutes of learning and experimentation.
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
(Muhahahaha) He also has another present hidden in the glove box of his car. Already in the glove box was a carefully wrapped gyro sandwich, hot and freshly made with lots of whipped cream and chopped up maraschino cherries and topped off with premium unleaded. I then went inside the Quicky-Mart and got some Pepsi, beef jerky, Andy Capps hot fries, and some curly ribbon fell behind the couch and got tangled with the golden tresses of Rapunzel, which she had cast out her tower window after he unwrapped the last present he put all the bows and wrapping paper into a large roomy cabin near the front of the plane.
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
Now I'll never have to hunt for a tool again! Because now there is a place for everything and everything is in its final stages. There was no time for making pizza.
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
If you want to have a proper Tennessee smooth-sippin' holiday that's the only way."
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
I went outside to water my plants, when suddenly I heard the deep guttural voice of a zombie! It scared me so badly that I screamed, " Where's my money, you silly stupid old fool?" Since he was no Jimmy Stewart fan, the zombie jumped out of the monitor and uttered a gravelly :) voice at me, and said right into my ear, "
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
Anything that didn't get sold would become kindling for the bonfire that would be against my better judgment to put the white underwear into the same drawer as the colored butterflies streamed through the sewer line so fast that everyone thought, "
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
So we walked to the Beatific Bonnet Boutique, looked in the window, and saw just what we wanted: a winning lottery ticket! Right there in the parking lot! Now we could afford to add several egret feathers and even a boa to the brim of the traveling brown hat. But to attach them, we needed to use our most skulky ninja tactics in order to get the brown hat to its next destination.
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
We also went from level 1 to level the concrete slab so that the new gazebo would not be crooked. It was a backbreaking job, so we took a break so that we could go to Chuck E. Cheese and eat lots of crap pizza and drink cheap beer. After enough beer, even the crap pizza tasted like a chili cheese dog.
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
A couple of these and you won't feel a thing! I should know, I use them whenever I am doing brain surgery. One day I misplaced them and believe it or not I found them in the dumpster next to Chase Arbor Commons.
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
He needed to go up a level in a hurry! Those thugs were too powerful. Run away! He jumped over a wall and landed in a huge pool of radioactive sludge. He was in a Vahzlizok strongold! He leapt to his feet, grinned from ear to ear and slammed the Death Wish Mortificator into the bottom of the Hydra's stomach.
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
ready! Let the battle begin! The music started, and then slowly emerging onto the screen was a giant box! I knew it was full of video games which I had ordered. I'm so skilled at 'em they only last a few days, max.
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
It was just past the crack of dawn when I noticed a bunch of slimy slugs eating away at my petunias.
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
and put it in the dumpster. With that junk out of the way, I was able to start moving furniture around so it made more sense. I moved the work table next to the cat food which was really starting to stink! I needed some deodorizing spray, so I went to the store and bought a can of Great Stuff and sprayed it into the crevice.
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
Anyway I arrived and after mapping out my routes, I decided to stop at a truck stop and pick a fight. I was feeling all ornery, so as soon as I walked through the door I was frisked by a big burly policewoman.
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
He paused, and then continued: " I want every intern to pay attention here. Watch me make this incision, and I don't want anybody to cry when I'm gone. I've lived a long, full life and don't have any regrets.
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
Flush with cash, I immediately headed for Long John Silver's! It had been way too long since I had enjoyed their crusty planks of fried chicken from Long John Silver.
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
They wouldn't see me here. I peeked around and suddenly saw that someone was peeking back at me!
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
I'd never studied a foreign language, but there's no time like the present for developing a smooth accent. feelings of the Italians, who of course like to roll their R's and use nasal N's, like when they say Cinqo de Mayo they don't mean, "Drop the mayonnaise"; what they really mean is, "
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
We rushed to the roof and searched for hoofprints in the snow, but all we found were stale, broken gingerbread cookies from last year. What we really hoped for was the grand prize offered by the local newspaper for "Best Illumination". They were givin away a big pink inflatable heart for Valentine's Day, which was just around the corner, and there it was: a brand new Hobby Shop stocked with every kind of Christmas light you could imagine!
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
Without taking the time to think, he grabbed it and wrung its head off. Slimy green lymph splattered everywhere even onto his hairdreszor.
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
The maestro was heading down the center aisle was Hulk Hogan! he howled, and the audience began to shuffle their feet with boredom. That restless sound soon reached the top balcony, where our VIP seats were.
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
Already, I could hear the sound of heavy traffic. This made me feel very much like an Ugly American. I pulled my beret lower over my fear of crashing.
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
Right away we started looking for a ribbon to put on the ribbon and I was good to go! The only thing that was still bugging me was what to get for the person on my list that was the hardest to buy for: my loud and noxious neighbor.
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
NOW!!!" But he didn't understand that we never clean off the tables unless the manager yells at us; which he usually does every hour: He yells, " Orrrder uuuuuup!" To which the manager, confused, replies, "
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
I had to squint to read the obiturary, but I managed to make out "squished by a giant pumpkin"! I shuddered; I now knew why I liked pumpkin pie so much. I could hardly wait to get back home so I could start making trouble for everyone.
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
Who knows? I might be spotted by the next agency of the Redundancy Department of Redundancy. I stepped through the door and fell through a hole in the floor! I landed in a mud puddle. It brought back memories of days gone by, back when men were men and women were not to be trusted with power tools.
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
Would it help if I released the emergency brake? She smiled sweetly and pushed the button that sent them all hurtling into a black hole. No light speed???
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
Fortunately he was home. "Hey! she whispered quickly. he exclaimed.
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
(laugh track) "To start with, crack these eggs, whip them up, and blend them into your stock pot. Next, chop the garlic into tiny bits at least small enough to fit into a cupcake holder!
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
Smelly! And the Welcome Wagon ladies were already coming up my front steps! The quickest thing I could do was put them into a big cardboard box. If I hurried, I could get to Warehouse Store and buy another 1000 diapers before they go to college!
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
Not only were they noise polluters, they're even polluting my drainage ditch with their trash. They aren't just noisy, they are very dirty people too! I just hate having to pick up all their 10-pound weights on the floor.
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
Because I say, if you're not going to spend enough money on a motel room, you will end up staying in a dump, probably infested with carpetbaggers.
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
He sacrificed winning just so he could get the inside lane advantage! The excitement was electric! Suddenly, my nose started bleeding, and to wipe it, all I had was a sunburn and a hangover, but boy was that fun!
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
It may be your only chance to go to the bathroom before we do our one and only daily flush. And when you go be sure you ask the customer service person there, how to install a low-flow toilet.
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
Next thing you know, you will be skin and bones. No one will know you. Everyone will think you are Shamu the Orca if you wear a tuxedo before your diet is accomplished.
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
But who's counting, really? Sitting in the hot sun, sipping sweet tea and making fun of the junker cars that drove up was worth at least $100. It was going to be hard to get rid of everything before the sun went down.
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
But as soon as I stood up, my head hit the ceiling! and take off my lucky socks. I didn't need them today--I felt like I could take on the world! And I didn't need a stupid navigator to tell me where we were. I knew perfectly well that we were over the coldest part of a TV dinner when you get it out of the microwave is always the center part.
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
"I'm only doing that today," he answered, "tomorrow I'm going to upgrade my PDA to have 256 MB of RAM! she said, "I just can't relax unless I know that you have other clothes to wear besides one bearing logos and movie quips from Star Wars, Star Trek, Tron and Hackers, I'll never go out with you!"
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
My recommendation is have a cup of hot tea and a small plate of three soft chewy dog treats, the kind with little meaty bit in the middle." "Surely you don't mean for me to wear the hideous hospital gown in public, do you?!! Man!
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
They will just love all the neat ideas I have come up with for their entertainment. For example, on the second level there will be a round hole, facing a raging fireplace. Maybe it was a bad idea to build the cat condo prototype out of styrofoam.
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
This was the first time I'd ever put up wallpaper. I was nervous and excited at the same time. First I assembled the tools and instructions, and then I took a dare and tasted the wallpaper paste.
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
First to Home Depot to load up with materials, plus take a class to teach me how to install a new toilet. I decided to put it in the garbage disposal to see what would happen. I flicked the switch and the loud noise that erupted sounded like a hundred termites trying to chew through the wall!
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
I said 'NO, you can't touch my eyeball! Get out of my office, you'll never be in the Space Marines!' Then I hung up and dialed the sheriff and asked him to come right away. Before I knew it, what should pull up in my driveway?! It was a car full of phase rifles and doom grenades!
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
Yeee-haw! As pure jet fuel sprayed into the turbine combustion chambers, their heads snapped back as the pilot yelled, "yeeee-oouch!...that's gonna hurt in the morning".
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
Because quitters never win, and winners never quit. And I'm a winner! I'm also a plumber and I really like going under people's houses. You can find some strange things, like one time I found a fly in my soup so I killed the whole town. Another time I totally uppercut some guy because he opened a window."
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
Take them out and smile with satisfaction at that golden-brown glazed finish! Next, add 12 ounces of diced beef. For this I prefer to use a non-stick pan, as opposed to a stick pan. I'll hold these two examples up so you can see the difference.
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
More punk colors: here, stripe your hair with this purple and this pink! That will make you look like Fonzie. Just say "Aayyy!", be cool, and don't forget to wear your sunglasses, your sunscreen, and most of all don't forget your comb, even if you don't need it because your hair's so cool already.
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
She smiled and said "Don't use that cream for your coffee, because I think it is time to switch to decaf!" She then quit, and got a job at the Farmer's Market selling vegetables. She was amazed, and relieved to know that her laxative would start working any minute now.
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
Ha ha! He could just imagine all those dolphins and whales jumping out of the water, so full joy, so full of lobsters it was ridiculous!
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
They were all dressed in furs and diamonds, tuxedos and tails, and they all looked at each other with wonder, mingled with disgust.
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
She said. Incredulous, he asked, "But how would you get rid of all that flab in just 2 weeks? It cannot be possible! Why, you would have to walk at least 100 FEET if you park this far away!
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
Oliver goes on strike, and as a result Mr. has to step in and crush the resistance which happened to be the shotgun-toting tomato, Bob. It's Veggie Tales: Garden Guerillas.
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
Racing to the garages, we poured out bag after bag of cat litter in order to absorb the neutrons from the nuclear fission reaction. It was going to go critical! We only had seconds to release the valves on the new oxygen tanks! We were successful with ten seconds to spare and then some bozo struck a match...............
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
I woke up to the sunbeams streaming through the slats of the window blinds. Something was different this morning...was it...quieter somehow...yes, the hum of the air conditioner was gone!
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
An hour later my receipt showed up in my e-mail. And with that, I got out a notepad and pencil, and started planning for NEXT Christmas!
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
The next girl can pose on this poof chair. It is shaped like a high-heeled shoe. How mod! I wonder who thought up that idea. It must have been Mr.
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
You wouldn't want to come back to a place with such rotten food. Chicken and prunes! Yuk! I would rather have a deadly attack robot! It would have to be at least 8 feet tall and 4 feet wide. And that is hard to find.
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
First we set up out tents and dug latrines into which to put the daily entries, which should include date, grid coordinates, name of the person who found it, and a description of ancient Babylonian bones with the addition of old photos of amazingly preserved pies!
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
The driver groaned, "That's gotta hurt!" And then I wallpapered the bathroom with all my receipts from Lowe's... I had enough to make two layers. Unfortunately as I quickly rounded the corner, I ran right into the forklift!
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
Just throw out all your mirrors, and get those Amusement Park ones that make you look fatter than you really are. Then you'll look normal! It's O.K. Just throw out all your mirrors, and get those Amusement Park ones that make you look fatter than you really are.
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
"Well, at least I didn't try to dig a basement. I'm sure if I did I would have an underground playroom! Complete with tire swing, roller-skating area, dress-up box, and kitchenette! All the neighbors' kids were stomping in the mud, making a big mess: so I put them to work mixing up the cement instead.
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
GET LOSE!! YOU CANNOT COMPARE WITH MY POWERS!!" As powerful as he was, he couldn't resist by Cloud of Ten Lightning Fists. "For great justice!" I cried, and "All your base are belong to us!" Then I jumped over the wall and into the swirling vortex of fear!
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
I bet that would get more people to vote! You need live music, kiddie rides, free food, and most of all you need A BRAIN ! So why not stick some on the voting booths for fun?
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
Our day started out great. Before most of us even had a chance to warm up and get going, one of the scouts was back with fantastic news. The rain of the night before had stranded several earthworms on the sidewalk!
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
If they are, we can try to use a high powered spray washer with a jet nozzle...or to blow his big hair dryer over the towel-dried car, for a final touch-up.
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
"MO---om! Mom! Help me!" He was dangling from a precarious precipice with a scant hand hold.
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
That stuff has no life left. It needs to go to the auto dealership, because if I'm going to be able to park my car in this clean and roomy garage, I'm going to want it to be a new one!" Looking back, it was a job made in hell. Yeah, and there's no beans about it. That stuff has no life left.
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
Me dumb. Me stupid. Me go the wrong way on a one-way street. Me knock you into the middle of the walls of the building across the alleyway!"
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
The Plutonium Transporters of America! They were famous for gigantic fund-raising fairs.
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
she said, " I did too pay for my last Ferris wheel ride. Look, I have the ticket stub right here, next to my prize-winning apple pie.
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
As soon as they heard, they quickly lunged out the door, cameras and notebooks in hand. Moments later, they arrived at 10:55 with barely enough time to clip on their microphones and get in front of the camera.
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
Add oat bran to your oatmeal! Add it to your yogurt! he said as he took another bite of his steak. It was clear she wasn't going to eat hers either, so he reached over and grabbed the salad dressing, saying, "If I'm going to eat nothing but salad for lunch, I'm going to need more salt and pepper.
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
Boppy laughed and laughed. he said. Boppy laughed and laughed. He showed her how to bring down a runaway calf and hogtie 'em.
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
We could only watch in amazement, envying her strength and grace. "How beautiful are the deep pools of blue that are your eyes.
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
We turned a corner and tripped over a string somebody had stretched along near the floor! "Why would somebody put that there?" I grumbled as I tried my best not to throw up. It wasn't easy I can tell you. I pursed my lips and grimaced and I then proceeded to back up.
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
The merchant told me this was the last day he would be open. Before I could say another word, the air shimmered around us and a transdimensional vortex appeared in mid-air, sucking the entire bazaar into oblivion before my very eyes!
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
Fortunately, we didn't have to worry about that because we had eaten so much pizza for lunch. This was strange pizza though; it had slices of boiled egg on it.
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
The second one says, "Are you sure?" And the first one says, "I'm positive!" Get it? That's the way we do things around here.
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
They were always coming around here, blabbing about how much nice it is up north, where they have eaten the grass right down to the bare ground.
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
We looked up, and there was only one bone left from an entire dinosaur and it was broken into 5 pieces. Xander tried to put the bones back together with some sticky dinosaur blood.
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
And it's so strong that if it eats a bomb, it won't get killed! And if you shoot it with bullets, it will die. Let me demonstrate. (Blam! Blam! Blam!) Oops, that was Roger and June's night light!
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
I thought of the title because it reminds me of a song. This story will be about a motorcycle trip. I started tuning up my bike, changing the oil, checking the tire pressure, checking the engine timing, and finally I was ready to check the air pressure in the tires.
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
It was time to start thinking about dinner. Luckily, Rosita's father had a good catch of fish from earlier that day. Digging a hole in the sand, they lay down some firewood. They placed the cooking pan in the outdoor oven which the Ruwandans had built with stone and layers of crushed bones were all that remained of those who opposed the formation of the International Village.
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
There you will be served by a garcon and he will bring you a complimenary flute of champagne, bubbly and faintly smelling of sewer gas. But that's OK, you have to take the bad with the good.
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
The ones that turn into a robot and then into a jet plane and then into the Toy Department again to see if anything was missing from the shelves. YES! There in the space where the Spiderman costumes used to be were stacked piles of DVDs of Return of the King, Platinum Series Edition. "WOOHOO!"
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
Unfortunately, one of the more common types of farts is the "Super-smelly Fart".
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
"How do they expect us to eat this mess?! No wonder they call it the Mess Hall! Hey, let's ask the sargeant if we can get pizza delivered! I want extra cheese on mine. What would you want on yours?" "A spoiler, chromed blower, and a fire-engine red paint job!"
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
Nevertheless, we tried to be friendly and we gave him a fruit basket as a welcome gift, hoping to stay on his good side!
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
Isn't it wonderful, honey? I'm going to jail! Ha ha ho ho." At this, we slowly backed out of the room and ran lickety split down the hall yelling our lungs out, "Help! Help! We need help!" Hearing our calls, suddenly out of the dean's office appeared a lovely young woman. From her shiny blonde hair to her pretty face, impeccable spring pastel suit and pristine, stylish shoes, she was the picture of confident perfection.
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
To accomplish this, one will have to accumulate enough borax to kill all the mice. "Hell, Betty," Dad said, "There's enough borax here to kill an elephant, or at least a raisin or a chocolate chip.
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
he said, "I gotta get tickets for my next vacation. This one has been a blast! We have had so much fun that I know next summer will be even better. I just must remember next time to bring more Immodium A-D. This crazy Mexican food is flowing through me like a dirt river." That explained the pleasant, Southern-style, down home-cooking smell!
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
"I wish we had a stereo. Then we could listen to tunes while waiting to be rescued." "Are you nuts?!" I exclaimed.
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
It's our only chance!" We all looked at each other and silently agreed to lie down and take a nap in the shade of the old oak tree.
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
by Wagner, done entirely with a quartet of kazoos? screamed Bonnie, "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MEDITATE WHEN YOU KEEP TALKING TO ME???!! Would you please go twiddle your thumbs while I take care of MY important business!
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
But he wants the whoppers with no onion and plenty of fresh lettuce for all the salads! That was the part I hated the most. Chopping lettuce. I don't know why, exactly.
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
Poor little things, all soaked and cold, she then took them one by one and gently rubbed them with a towel. After only a few minutes they began to hatch. "I don't know what to do with all these eggshells.
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
And again what is that POWER? It is the power of the universe! The power that enables the ULTIMATE NINJA to unleash hundreds if not thousands of punches and kicks upon any who opposed him. He spent the rest of his days travelling from town to town, teaching any who would listen, when he wasn't busy flipping out.
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
Now, I also want all your money. I mean ALL of it. Hand it over or I will give you a million dollars in exchange for leaving the country and never mentioning this again!"
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
the officer replied, "It's the illegal immigrants, the aliens, we give them to.
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
I think I will unleash him upon my evil enemy, the Earl of Sandwich!" He strode in purposely, a roast beef hoagie in one hand, and a salami grinder in the other.
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
What was happening?!! Here was the judge, jury, attorneys, the whole court coming into his store! We are going to get this matter settled once and for all, said the judge as he beckoned Lord Elsington to even higher status within the SSBC: Secret Society of British Cats. "I want my toys back now!"
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
Finally, they spilled out into the aisles of the auditorium and all threw their hats into the air.
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
"You deep-fried carrots sticks???" Bonnie nodded gleefully, and handed her a big basket of individually wrapped rolls of toilet paper. A bonus to be sure! She stored them in the back pocket of her blue jeans. She also had a holster for a Colt .45, which she kept cleverly hidden under her jacket.
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
Everyone was so inspired by his shameless act of pariotism, they stood up and applauded with great gusto, knowing full well that as soon as they sat back down, they would know that this was the end of the world as they knew it. The sky turned white with all the exhaust plumes from the nuclear-armed missiles, and soon they found the hidden treasure!