Betty's Turn-Down Game

Welcome! (Login / Request an account) There are 170 stories in the system.

Please select a story to view:

Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
Now I have to wait 23 1/2 hours to get to see the moonflower bloom! Until then, well, who knows? I am sure we will be able to find a place to eat, but will any place be open at this time of night??
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
There was a collective exhale and then an immediate inhale, because the last thing we wanted was a fainting crowd! But there truly was a big sigh of relief followed by the idea of shoring up the outer wall with bits of furniture and old crates.
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
This kind of lichen is edible! Look how much there is, we could eat all day!"
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
We were concerned, to say the least, but we couldn't deny that the in-flight safety briefing was really funny, even funnier than some of the Southwest Airlines ones we saw on Youtube.
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
Dang Sith. Dang them straight to heck. But anyway, that's okay because we'll fry it later. So, as for sides, we wanted Greg's famous Sweet Potato Casserole, Bonnie's famous Homemade Stuffing, and most of all, Xander's famous bread!
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
That will do the trick. Just don't be heavy handed with the instruments! Chip Davis paid a lot to assemble this plethora of instruments, and you -- what?
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
It had been in my pocket for a few days at this point, so was pretty smashed and fairly dirty. But chocolate is chocolate, and I had earned it.
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
Yeah, like actual dust from a fairy, we couldn't believe it. A little dude with wings showed up with a handful of sparkly crap. Anyway, it backfired horribly: we were just covered in kiwi fruit puree and crushed red cherries and pineapple.
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
they then proceeded to let loose a tremendous battle cry, striking fear into the hearts of their enemies. Their fury was legendary, their strength and unity were more than we could contend with.
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
But be sure that the nap is not too long, because if it is too long it will make you fall asleep. I barely got 30 pages into Atlas Shrugged." He then went back to playing his video game, and I was left to my own devices as far as getting the electricity going again in the house.
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
In the garage? Ah, man.. I will just go buy some new paper at the local Christmas wrap store. They had every kind you could think of, but I was really drawn to the sparkly tissue wrapping paper!
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
I had to take a break and drink some ice cold Mountain Dew and eat a bite of pecan praline nougat covered in sticky napalm, which I made by dissolving Styrofoam in gasoline.
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
Greg, Xander, and Boppy were tired. Having trudged for miles upon miles through untamed wilderness, they at last collapsed as they reached the final step of their journey.
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
Locked and loaded, I peeked out the cat door to see what all the commotion was about.... Sure enough, there was a bunch of money in there! It's a good thing I went through it or I would have missed finding all those old plastic machine guns.
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
All the customers will surely think I am a real man because I could handle sweeping the parking lot in the midday sun! My next challenge is to quit messing around and get a REAL job, like you know, I want a big salary, and no sweaty job. Sitting at a desk with the so cool AC and a cuppa tea whenever I wanted it...
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
I couldn't imagine walking one more mile without at least a gallon of the stuff on hand, so I started scrounging around for old rags to wipe up the spilled lemonade and the big pool of melted popsicles.
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
I scooped him up and went through a massive stone archway, imposing and mystical. It bridged the gap between this world and the others, and beyond it were visible incomprehensible wonders and horrors alike. Out of the portal emerged several large rats, which actually could have been bald squirrels, but anyway, seeing them made me think, "
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
Next time we take a walking tour we will bring plenty of musical instruments, especially guitars and drums." That sounded good, but I had to wonder if there would be enough butter pecan ice cream to go around.
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
The winner would be able to do it with the least amount of elbow grease....and what a relief that was! Because who wants a elbow smothered in 100% maple syrup that was imported from Vermont. "Vermont?!" Betty exclaimed.
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
Too bad your electricity went off. To keep warm, you can wrap up in layers of warm clothing. And don't forget to put on deodorant because you don't know who you might run into. You might even run into a zamboni! And you're miles from the nearest skating rink.
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
Mmm! In fact, use the big jar! Some people also like to add anchovies...ewww. Then there is the delicious fruit pizza! Sugar cookie crust with strawberries, kiwi fruit, pineapple all arranged in a pattern of pleasing proportions.
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
First we went to Cosco and loaded up on lots of wood glue, posterboard, hammers, and nuclear material. That's everything we need for assembling a Gatling gun!
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
everyone responded, with enthusiasm. High-fiving all around, we proceeded to hunt for what we would need: big gift baskets filled with bubble bath, chocolate candy, and packets of candy.
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
Bonus! came over and saw the title, He exclaimed, " There's literally a party going on in the hall outside my door!" He hadn't even realized it, though, because he had not taken a shower in so long!
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
Then it was cooler because we switched the fan to counter-clockwise, and that made us feel sleepy. So we immediately went loco. Smashing chairs, flipping over tables, drinking liquor after drinking beer, queuing up Taylor Swift songs on the jukebox, it was complete bedlam.
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
I had no idea it would handle the change in climate so poorly, from indoors moving to Alaska was going to be monumental! Should I sell everything and buy all new there or rent a moving van? I asked the head of NASA for advice, and thoughtfully, he advised me to spead the word about this legendary plant.
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
And the name of it was " Your dearest wish come true." Oh! Well, in that case, we should string up some clothesline in the back yard. One end we could wrap around the big pine tree, and the other end we could tie to the neck of an ISIS terrorist!
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
These are handy to have around & have many uses. The ideal number to have for a typical household is two dozen.
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
With that, he turned on his heel and and phoned for the men in white to bring a strait jacket. After they brought it, he strapped it on his chest. her suitcase, that is! So we packed the extra stuff into a priority box and sent it to Hell in a handbasket! And there to welcome it into eternal damnation was none other than Xander and Ethan who decided to come for a visit too!!!
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
Now what?! I gingerly circumnavigated the sharp rocks and came upon an enormous double cheeseburger. It must have weighed two pounds. It almost covered the plate! Next to it was a plastic pot containing a pitiful plant, nearly dead from lack of internet service.
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
Let's celebrate our resoluting by going out to eat!! I think we should go to the Yoga studio and sign up for some classes. That should really help because my nose would not stop running. How annoying. I needed not only a handkerchief but also a big box of old receipts!"
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
After finding it I hid it again, but this time inside a really big box! The only way to cover that will be to file bankruptcy!! Man, I will hate to go to court and stand before the magistrate and hope you don't get thrown in jail until you paid every penny because you were cruel to your debtors and the king found about it.
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
It was chaos! Drivers yelling, managers yelling, the crowd yelling, everywhere there was space to put a composter! Decisions, decisions. Where would be the perfect place to put this bowl of fresh tomatoes grown with my wonderful compost?
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
The street was not too busy, except around lunchtime when my stomach was really growling and my co-workers I am sure could hear the embarrassing sounds of grinding gears.
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
Getting ready for falling? Thinking fast, I ran down the hill trying to stay ahead of the rolling pumpkin. I was hoping to catch it before it fell into the raging river down below.
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
sound of Newsboys that made them so distinct, now that DC Talk alumnus Michael Tait has replaced Peter Furler, unfortunately has largely aged well. Gentlemen generally do. An agent of change, a giant of his generation, a real genius, the General led by example: a true gem.
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
As I cautiously walked closer, a flock of birds which came closer and closer, flew over the tomatoes, came back, flew down and plucked every single tomato off the vines and then flew away !! I couldn't believe my eyes! As I cautiously walked closer, a flock of birds which came closer and closer, flew over the tomatoes, came back, flew down and plucked every single tomato off the vines and then flew away !!
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
It seemed to be moving by itself! Then through a little crack in the sugary glaze I saw several disgusting guests on late-night talk shows. They were rude, slovenly, and told rambling, barely-coherent stories about parasites.
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
We can start a new contract for you and bill it to the nearest patriarch." Another important thing to think about is how are you going to protect your phone from accidental impacts? For that, you probably want to consider buying a 15,000 amp generator. Who knows when another hurricane will come through or maybe an ice storm?
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
Well I will show you! I will give you a big fat wallet full of money if you will go over there and smack that bully. We are all getting tired of this continual harassment. And make sure you tell him to bring exact change. When you're buying tickets for entertainment purposes, it's best if you just ignore this storyline because it does not have one.
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
I'm taking my stuff and packing it into Avon boxes and then, I am going to mail all of it to the businesses who sent me the junk mail in the first place. I'm tired of people wasting time watching stupid reality shows..
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
Obviously that will help improve the borders of the property by planting every 18 inches a small new sprout. So many new beginnings! It's so encouraging to see all the worms twisting and turning in the new worm farm which was another new project thought up by the very garden gnomes who now completed the whimsical tableau.
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
But he was nervous! Sweat trickled down his leg and got on the beam, and when he took his next step, he closed his eyes and took the first bite. Mmmmmmmm! So good! Mmmmm. Mmmmmm gooood!!!! Exquisitely beautiful, on the very top, there balanced a gymnast who was trying out for the Olympics!
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
Aaaaahhh! We must have a detached retina or something!! It could also be caused by heavy and drenching downpours of rain which then froze over the entire Rock when the temperature suddenly dropped.
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
If I tried to take a Koala cub home, I am sure the airport authorities would introduce me to Connor Trinneer, AKA Trip Tucker from Star Trek: Enterprise!
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
Those crazy kids need more medications for their birthdays! Each person gets to pick a teacher to go home with.....we pick Miss Bonnie!
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
I could drink a giant mug of that! And right on top I would squirt a big dollop of mayonnaise. It's good for you! It's Regular Ordinary Swedish meal time flies when you're having fun! Or as the famous Latin phrase puts it: " Carpe Noctem !" So we worked through the night putting the final touches on the family portrait.
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
Just make sure you stop at the first sign of feeling faint. And now you know how to make your neighbors your best friends for life !Just walk over, knock on their door and with great enthusiasm, say, "
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
I said, as I filled in the crossword puzzle. "Patina is the next clue," I pondered out loud, "9 letters, starts with a V." I looked around for help, and there, just out of reach, was just what I needed: more Scotch tape!
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
I need a gas mask! Open a window! Go next door and borrow a plumber's snake, the electric kind with lots of power! It's okay to rent those because they disinfect them with a substance called Liquid Nails which I bought online from a company named Tethys, after the Titaness of fresh water."
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
That's my favorite! Well-stuffed tummies are definitely a part of Christmas: pot-bellied snowmen, Santa...all indicative of prosperity and feasting.
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
We're doing an intervention." Of course, this was completely ludicrous to me because I always like to play solo and joining a team at this juncture would be such a bad idea that my Hot Pockets supply would be depleted, and I would also run out of a deep dark tunnel lined with spider webs and hanging from the ceiling were bats!
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
So to be truly safe, they would need to suit up in 30 seconds or less! In a situation like that, nobody but nobody wants their oxygen tank to run out! You would have to rush to fill it again with concrete. This time, we're going for permanence!
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
Set up a giant lemonade stand right at the end of our driveway !! Not only would we sell lemonade, but we could also sell bags of ice.
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
Anyone with half a brain should know better than to listen to loud rap music while playing such an intense video game! Why if I had not been concentrating, my handsome hero would surely have fallen into debt.
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
Should old acquaintance[s] be forgot, and never brought to mind, then I'll never see you again, and that suits me just fine." Then some other people also stood up, put their hands over their hearts, and with great gusto, they sang "
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
Off in the distance, I noticed reflected from the street lamp, 2 yellow eyes staring at me. I slowed my walking and waited to see whether it would fall from its own weight.
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
We had to seek shelter fast or we would be doomed for sure.
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
Stunned, I whirled around and to hear Penelope throwing up! My game was interrupted! I was halfway through getting an upgrade for my level 1 Floor Sweeper. To get to level 2 he has to upgrade his shoes; one way to do this is to plod along methodically, but some people work better after they have cleansed their systems with special vegetarian drinks made with pureed kale.
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
She went to the cobbler and moved into a pie full of four-and-twenty blackbirds.
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
We could see it coming it the far distance! It looked like a gigantic tortoise, heaving up out of the earth. Strange as this was, it only got weirder as relatively small automobiles started spilling out of its mouth. Unfazed, I looked down at my watch, and realized it was time for buying a new gas-guzzling SUV.
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
Get organized! Go for gold! With a GQ (genetic quotient) this high, Jerome Morrow was never meant to be one step down on the podium. That's why he put all his underwear into zip-lock bags.
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
I know when I hear that sound, it means someone's at the door. And just my luck, I'm right in the middle of a shower!
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
It's not chopped beef, it's chopped steak! So don't ruin it with plain ol' ketchup. Slather it with A1 Steak Sauce! Then you will probably start to feel hungry enough to make yourself a big bowl of hot shut the hell up.
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
The darkness was so complete it was like a solid thing--a suffocating blanket of oblivion that clung to our faces and enveloped us in its lifeless embrace.
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
Then put the egg cartons on top of the crates of rockets that we got from GI Joe's military surplus. For the love of all that's holy, don't bump them! That's a good egg. Now also watch out for jugs of dirty car oil, because if you were to accidentally kick one over, your foot would probably end up kicking the butt of somebody who just wandered into your garage and started messing everything up.
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
It was so big that there was no way I could fit it into my shopping bag, so to carry it in I found an empty wastebasket. There was a lot, but I managed to get it all stuffed in.
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
It is also important where you place them: only put them back in the grave where they belong. But you have to hit them pretty hard to stop them, because they ate too many brains (!) which caused them to jump up and down and sing Yankee Doodle. so we loaded up a wheelbarrow-full of brains and carted them over to the Wal-Mart, to the frozen goods section.
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
We put them just where they belonged: in your face, boy!! IN YOUR FACE!! HAHAHAHA!!!! Then, we passed our box of clutter in a circle like Musical Chairs, and whoever ended up with the box, then that person had to chase the Fly Lady all over the room with a butterfly net.
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
What I needed was a big eagle's feather! That would look so cool on my hat. I got on the internet and ordered one from this company called " The Joke's on You, LLC." They specialize in sneaky stuff like letting the air out of the sweatband of the hat where I found a secret note!
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
In retaliation we created even more heroes to fight in Paragon City! When we were finished we must have totaled at least 1000 kills in the 3 hours we spend running through the sewers. We also went from level 1 to level the concrete slab so that the new gazebo would not be crooked.
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
Will it hurt?!! Could it possibly lead to early development of cataracts? I need to know because who wants to be blind for the rest of his life?!!" I decided to get a second opinion. The new doctor examined me, and with a big smile on his face, said to me, "
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
But he wouldn't be staying there for long. With a single punch, Abiathar managed to finish his mission and start a new one, which was to rescue a mad scientist and kill all the lights before he made his big debut.
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
That was easy. Now for the next 500 points I would have to load up on missiles and ammo and armor before I woke up I had another dream about the battle! This time the robot enemies chased me into a cave full of ogres! I knew I had to think fast. ready! Let the battle begin! The music started, and then slowly emerging onto the screen was a giant box!
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
Maybe it stinks because I was supposed to pick up a truckload of hardwood bark mulch from the nursery. But the truck bed was full of big fat earthworms--so big and fat that they looked like mashed up tatters of former flowers.
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
Not only would games run faster, but I could never banish the cats from the tech room even though they often wreak havoc with the local radio stations.
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
There just isn't as much money in moving moonshine across state lines like there used to be.
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
Instead, we gave him two strawberry Twinkies which worked remarkably well, considering that he was dangerously close to defaulting on his car loan. He hadn't made a payment in almost three months, and he was sure he would need at least a hundred stitches!
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
That's why I always read the Dilbert cartoon as soon as I get to work. That turns out to be the best part of the day for me because he makes me feel like I'm in control of my financial destiny. That's why I gave him a raise."
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
Yes, you just won't believe what I saw when I took a walk. big scratchy boils on the back on my neck.
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
If you mispronounce something you could really offend somebody by saying something you didn't intend. and you accent the positive and reject the negative, and everything will always look better when you roll your R's, you sound right Scottish.
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
Take one down, and pass it around, ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer!
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
It must have been dropped by an alphatrooper when he recovered from the blow to his head, he knew he would have to activate his quantum shields before it was too late! He pushed the button of the vending machine expecting a deli sandwich, but instead, down the chute came a grenade!
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
He cracked his knuckles and proceded to sing their little hearts out. and then they weren't sure what to do with the toothpicks. Nonchalantly, they looked around for the nearest restroom, not wanting to look in dire need, even though they certainly felt satisfied! Now all that was left to do was to put a new CD in the stereo that had been playing all the music all along.
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
I pulled my beret lower over my fear of crashing. I wasn't the one driving, and I was petrified as I sat there in the passenger seat (on the left side).
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
He smiled, sat down and boo-hooed right there in the mall. What else could happen?!! Right away we started looking for a ribbon to put on the ribbon and I was good to go! The only thing that was still bugging me was what to get for the person on my list that was the hardest to buy for: my loud and noxious neighbor.
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
Orrrder uuuuuup!" To which the manager, confused, replies, "
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
Boy, it stank, but the flames reached to pick up a jar of homemade apple butter! I had to squint to read the obiturary, but I managed to make out "squished by a giant pumpkin"!
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
You can't be sewious! Back to the Battle!!!!! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Back to the basics of the hip-hop scene, just a loop, and some lyrics, and a mic, you know what I mean? "Well, not exactly..." I said. "I don't have any idea what you are talking about.
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
In less than one minute we would look out the window and see whether we can make the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs. It's very hard to do. But you would know that being the seasoned astronaut that you are. Why you could probably teach us to perform an EVA correctly and not drift away from the craft.
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
But the truth was hard to swallow; in fact I was so overwhelmed, that I had to make the computer do what the teacher wanted it to do!
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
with at least a gallon of premium unleaded. Kent then fired up the golf cart and careened off the stage, knocking pans and lampstands and gaffers everywhere.
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
So don't worry, everybody poops, more or less, and it all works out in the end. If I hurried, I could get to Warehouse Store and buy another 1000 diapers before they go to college!
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
My payback noise will surely make the neighbors feel sorry for me if they know they've been disturbing my nesting South American hens. They won't lay eggs with all this noise! When I go out to check the nests I might be surprised to find my neighbors have switched from listening to rap music to classic.
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
But think about it, how are you going to avoid that big traffic jam up ahead? I think the best way would be to just act natural. That way we can glide more easily into the gulch, where we will be protected from the oncoming onslaught of tornadoes. Well, safer, anyway.
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
Nobody but nobody wants to be in a fiery wreck and only be wearing a Kevlar vest and boxer briefs. There is no A/C in a race car, and it gets pretty darn hot in the cabin. The vest, of course, is for protection. That way, in case you roll over you will always land right side up again, which is why you must always make sure your safety harness is correctly fastened.
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
It might surprise you how much water you use just taking a shower. With all that water you could probably survive by drinking sand. You never know until you try! Why don't you turn off the water while you brush your teeth? You don't need to flush the toilet every time you use it.
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
Everything else had failed...THIS was the one! and 250 lbs, could best be described as high fat, high sodium, and high sugar. Could this be a misprint?!! Just to be sure I put my glasses on and then I could see my feet!
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
The grass was all mashed down, because all the people had found such great bargains, and were so delighted, they asked us if we would consider administering a state-wide network of yard sales from an executive highrise in Manhattan.
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
It all started the day my mechanic called to me, "Captain Mitchell, you had better put down that bottle of Tequila and come look at this."
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
Well, after hearing that, I was ready to sharpen all my pencils, and I discovered I need to go buy a new pocketsize spiral notebook and a black power cable. It would clash with the light-colored decor in his server room, but he didn't care--he was a dork.
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
I knew I had to get out of there, and the only way to do it was to amputate from above the knee. But that's OK-- we can replace it with saline, or I can tell you about our latest experiment: something we've been growing in the lab.
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
They will just love all the neat ideas I have come up with for their entertainment. For example, on the second level there will be a round hole, facing a raging fireplace. Maybe it was a bad idea to build the cat condo prototype out of styrofoam.
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
With that, we all started booking the wallpaper so the glue would prep correctly. Five minutes later the glue had hardened like week-old oatmeal. And not Quaker Oatmeal, either; I'm talking about cheap, store-brand tools!
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
I decided to put it in the garbage disposal to see what would happen. I flicked the switch and the loud noise that erupted sounded like a hundred termites trying to chew through the wall!
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
I wanted to ask if you knew there is a moose in your front yard! He seems to be trying to find candidates for his galactic space marine training academy. "I'm only 18!" I argued. he said, "I know you're not in it for the money. We always like to see people like you come through the door. You make us feel inadequate and incompetent.
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
Pulling back his hand, he noticed a strange blip on the radar screen. And it seemed to be getting closer! It might just be a squadron of Zentraedi fighters, looking for easy human prey! They're in for a big surprise because our landing wheels won't come down.
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
Not the sauce! I'm not in it for the crust, I'm in it for the long haul. Because quitters never win, and winners never quit. And I'm a winner! I'm also a plumber and I really like going under people's houses. You can find some strange things, like one time I found a fly in my soup so I killed the whole town.
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
Great. Take them out and smile with satisfaction at that golden-brown glazed finish! Next, add 12 ounces of diced beef.
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
I screeched to a halt, jumped out, and exclaimed to my friends, "Ain't it cool?
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
He liked good ol' cane sugar, while she preferred tea to coffee, it was good to try something new for a change, so she ordered a lemon cookie with her tea.
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
I put it there myself!" I was completely flabbergasted! I had lost my third game of shuffleboard! What to do? I think I should sit out the next one and work out a new lodging arrangement.
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time! But there wasn't time to even think! My face was reddening by the second. Before much longer I would surely be able to flush it all down with this high-flow toilet!
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
She would also eat a lot more lettuce! With a healthier diet, lifting weights, power walking, and balacing my checkbook on time so that I know I have enough money to buy some new underwear!
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
But it was the dishes, falling on the kitchen floor because the kids were up on the counter trying to get their own breakfast! The rockets landed with a great sound like a car crash! But it was the dishes, falling on the kitchen floor because the kids were up on the counter trying to get their own breakfast!
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
We only had seconds to release the valves on the new oxygen tanks! We were successful with ten seconds to spare and then some bozo struck a match............... Through the bursts of flames we just stared at each other and caught our breath, reloaded, and continued firing.
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
When I hear the music playing The Yellow Rose of Texas. How lilting was the music. It made me want to change into a tank top and get a cold drink. Fanning myself and perspiring, I went inside to cool off. The A/C was cranked up (or is it down?), fortunately.
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
I just kept buying and buying! There was so much to choose from, she let her stomach do the talking so she picked the one with chocolate sprinkles. Then she got a large mocha latte and headed for the checkout counter, loaded with gift selections.
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
When you fill in your applications, please include your criminal history, if applicable. That may seem like a strange question, but would you mind if I applied just a bit more hair gel?
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
Of course everyone knows in addition to trays of sugary pastries, you should add bountiful numbers of rose petals to your bath! That will help you smile and feel so special! That's such a relaxing and beautiful big pouffy couch.
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
Dust, dust, dust! My hair was matted with mud and straw. We started carefully cleaning it, and were surprised to discover that under the dirt was the wrapper from my Brown Mule.
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
And then I wallpapered the bathroom with all my receipts from Lowe's... I had enough to make two layers. The driver groaned, "That's gotta hurt!" And then I wallpapered the bathroom with all my receipts from Lowe's... I had enough to make two layers. Unfortunately as I quickly rounded the corner, I ran right into the forklift!
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
Next, eat some ice cream. This should remind you of the pleasure of eating. anymore! Or in the children's section! You can finally eat whatever you please, whenever you please, even if it means you see the number on the scale go up one!
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
Either we're forming a habitat for something other than humans, or someone's gonna have to mow!" We'd been so busy tearing down the neighbors' hedges so we have room to expand.
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
"I can't believe we get such a treat! It's 5:00pm! It's almost time for my backward-spinning atomic dragon kick!" I bounced off two walls and the ceiling, appearing as no more than a black ghost before I landed the blows, methodically right between the eyes, whirled around and thrust a powerful kick right into his solar plexus!
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
You IDIOT! Where is your voting card? And don't come in here sniveling like the loser Democrat that you are. Step up to the table and tell me your party affiliation, if you don't mind." I answered, "As a matter of fact, I do have clean hands and a pure heart, and I have not lifted up my hand to vote for John Kerry.
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
Right there next to the hill! We couldn't believe it! Such a concentration of food in such close proximity! Immediately we set to bringing it into the nest. Delirious with joy, I lept aboard the ship that would take me home.
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
Go back! Go back!!" and waved the water hose in a circle over his head, splashing water on everyone nearby, including customers, classmates, and the whole board of supervisors joined in to hold hands, circle around, and sang Ring Around the Rosy. Those girls are wearing bikinis!
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
How could she get her toddler to hurry? He didn't want to be carried; he would fight and kick if she tried that. All she wanted was to get him to the car and buckled in as fast as possible.
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
That's right! It looks like plastic poop; you know that artificial dog poop that you fool people with?
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
Bricks were flying , windows shattering, the asphalt rippled and disintegrated with every impact.
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
Well, one in particular. This guy looked like....well..Dilbert with a problem. We didn't know quite what to do. So we blindly decided to strike chocolate-iced doughnuts from the cafeteria breakfast menu. Next on the agenda was the Annual Potholder Fair, held every year, where the parents had a potholder-making contest, the winner being presented a trio of woven friendship bracelets.
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
Insane with panic, I grabbed the blue ribbon watermelon and threw it as hard as I could at the red-faced perpetrator. "You think you have the right to scare innocent people like that? Of all the nerve! Look behind you!" He turned around, and suddenly, "NINJA!" and the party continued into the wee hours of the morning.
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
What are we going to do? We have 10 minutes to play ads until we can find the rest of tonight's tape.
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
And the fudge sundae cart behind that. Get ready to mash those soybeans and mold the tofu into shapes resembling flowers. Admittedly, that artistic effort, combined with the variety of color in the salad made it extraordinarily beautiful. However, I sighed, knowing that again, soon after eating, I'd be hungry.
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
What could beat that?!! Now to wash our hands. Let's use this Spanish-English dictionary to figure out what the heck they're saying! I have no idea how to get to the Transportation Museum. I want to see the Pullman cars again and sit on the sofas made from styrofoam and gasoline.
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
First lift your right leg and touch your toes on the edge of the piano. We were lucky enough to have live piano music to dance to.
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
Get your armor on and sharpen your sword and let's go do some fighting, and then let's go do some laundry, because I'm sure you'll all agree we're starting to smell.
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
"I'm not paying that much!" I told him! he waved me away as he threw his creaky voice back over his shoulder. "The next one will." With that, he picked up a huge axe and smashed it into the table! "You overcharged me for that GI Joe figure! Now, YOU'RE gonna pay!" I quickly moved aside just in time to avoid being trampled by the thundering hooves.
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
You'll want to take another trip as soon as you can. The fun is just beginning. Now we are headed for the North Pole! We will be on top of the world!
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
Here use this bar of soap and dry your hands with this yellow nametag, I would be blend in with the other visitors. I knew I had to be careful not to talk too much, or I would blow my cover.
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
Next we had to kill the hogs to make bacon and sausage. Granddaddy would put his fingers in his ears because he did not want to hear the gunshot. Then everyone would join in to cut up the lard and use it to fry the bacon, sausage, eggs, toast, and soup.
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
We've got to conserve our ammunition, collect what food we have left, and prepare to broil some tasty dinosaur patties. Yeah, with a bun and onion and Miracle Whip and tomato and a few sliced radishes on the side, we'll have quite a dinner, as obviously there's no shortage of fresh meat around here!"
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
fertilizer. You can use it for digging up earthworms. You know those slick wiggly creatures that are so good for the soil. Why in only one hour they can process 50 pounds of superb cedar mulch.
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
But all of a sudden there was a big pop, a spluttering, and the sound of an army of motorcycle with the mufflers removed. "What?!"
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
The sun was sinking lower in the sky. It was time to start thinking about dinner. Luckily, Rosita's father had a good catch of fish from earlier that day. Digging a hole in the sand, they lay down some firewood. They placed the cooking pan in the outdoor oven which the Ruwandans had built with stone and layers of crushed bones were all that remained of those who opposed the formation of the International Village.
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
I said. "I guess they just are all born rude. Everyone I meet has a smart-aleck thing to say when I ask them a question.
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
Help me Ethan! Let's see if the robbers are still in the parking lot." We dashed out and found them sitting in a puddle of urine. They didn't get to the bathroom in time! "Oh well,"
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
You can't have tea without sugar! and you can have it with bacon, eggs, Spam and sausage." "But I don't LIKE Spam!" "That's OK, I've lost my sense of smell. I cannot smell anything. Why anymore, I cannot even smell my own butt since I sat in a bunch of flowers all day!"
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
I exclaimed, beaming. "And I just might get it, too, it's just what I need in my tent when we go camping out in the woods. In the middle of the night, I can get it out and use it to help me steal hot dogs from the mess hall. See?" He demonstrated, and Private Munchausen said "I like to suffer, and I'm going to make you suffer too. 500 pushups on the double!"
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
We were all so scared we could do nothing but stand in shocked silence, hoping he would calm down. Suddenly, he whacked the other guy on the back of the head with the spatula! We screamed as his eyeball popped out! Everyone was completely amazed when it cheerfully called out, "I'M FREE!"
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
She said, " Hand me that application and I will see if you are qualified to take any classes. I want you to know that I make the final decision, so you better be on your p's and q's. So look me in the eye and tell me where the bathroom is?
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
300 mice died to provide you with that stylishly avant-garde attire, and don't let them forget it. Every time they see you they'll turn around and moon you, and I mean every time! They are so rude. They must have learned how to do that from reading Soldier of Fortune magazine.
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
Scrub off the slime and grime of a sweaty, dusty day. There's nothing like freshening up after a long wait in the line for the "Vomitous Maximus Tilt-O-Whirl", we finally got to ride it!
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
And this lawn chair. And that's ALL I NEED!" People began to stare at him because he had a pale green luminescence about him. He looked down at his hands. Green! What had happened?! He began to feel sick and dizzy; his stomach started to rumble and growl, but then I realized it was just my stomach.
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
REVENGE IS SWEET, AND A DISH BEST SERVED COLD!!" By this time the cops had arrived and everything got very confusing after that. I realized this was a good opportunity to get out of there, so I quietly nudged past the jostling, shouting crowd, resisting the temptation to tear out the pages of the 1500-page unabridged dictionary and start making ragged origami with them.
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
I think you should focus on your breathing. That is an excellent way to direct energy. Positive in through the nose, negative out through the chimney and up, up, the explosion launched debris 30 feet into the air.
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
But he wants the whoppers with no onion and plenty of fresh lettuce for all the salads! That was the part I hated the most. Chopping lettuce. I don't know why, exactly. Probably having to do with the crispiness.
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
She had all the ingredients, except she needed some fresh orc blood. But not just any orc blood. The orc blood this recipe called for had to be room temperature.
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
After that, self-preservation was only a matter of using his nunchaku in a totally awesome way, spinning them up, down, left, right, so fast that you couldn't even see them move.
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
correction centers where every day he would get to watch TV, exercise, and eat three prison meals a day. Sometimes he would laugh, thinking how now the Betty Mafia could never get him.
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
Sam said, The gravity is very different here, so don't be doing any jumping. You might just head out into space! However one of the travelers did not believe him and did it anyway, and propelled himself into a black hole!
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
I think I will unleash him upon my evil enemy, the Earl of Sandwich!" He strode in purposely, a roast beef hoagie in one hand, and a salami grinder in the other. "So," Count Muenster declared, "We have thee to thank for these delightful victuals."
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
A parking lot here, a parking lot there, and pretty soon you've got some real evidence there!
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
"I know," Betty said, "Let's go to the library and do research about Guinea Worms. You know how to get them out of your leg, don't you? You take a thin stick and snap it in two with a single karate chop. Then you do it again with a bigger stick. You continue this until you're an ultimate ninja, and we will all thumb our noses at you, because your strength will be like a river, rushing along pell mell with not a backward glance, gleefully heading for a sure collision with that wall!
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
She also had a holster for a Colt .45, which she kept cleverly hidden under her jacket. So when she walked into the coffee shop, she immediately put down her heavy backpack. Rubbing her sore shoulder, she asked the nearest patron "What does a girl have to do to get some service around here?!"
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
So, it was most certainly his last bungee cord jump. and as luck would have it, that was the one in which his cord broke. So, it was most certainly his last bungee cord jump.