Betty's Turn-Down Game

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Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
Can you not see that bird's nest? In that tree, right up there! You can see it, right next to the big ferris wheel. Whee! Let's go ride it!
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
Turns out it has to be going 1,000 miles an hour, so obviously a car was out. So we went to the airport and ironically, we were all so hungry we didn't care what we ate, so on the menu was was a Post-it note with the terse message: "OUTSIDE NOW".
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
They also complained last week when I took my trash to the dump, I ran into an old friend, who enthusiastically said to me, " This kind of lichen is edible! Look how much there is, we could eat all day!" I nearly gagged at the idea. "I'm not really hungry,"
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
But the fire is so delightful. And since we've got no place to go, we'll stay home and play Carcassonne.
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
Dang them straight to heck. But anyway, that's okay because we'll fry it later. So, as for sides, we wanted Greg's famous Sweet Potato Casserole, Bonnie's famous Homemade Stuffing, and most of all, Xander's famous bread! and gobs of dripping fat.
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
But it was all Mannheim Steamroller covers, so we didn't mind. They immediately began playing their trademark heavy metal rock music. But it was all Mannheim Steamroller covers, so we didn't mind. Appearing in the midst of the carnage was Metallica, inside the mouth of a giant robot dinosaur.
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
And? And? sometimes I want to hug somebody. We steeled our resolve and And? And? And? sometimes I want to hug somebody. It would have been a terrifying sound at any time, but hearing at 3am was the worst. We steeled our resolve and And?
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
Yes, it was a day just like any other. But little did the inhabitants know, today would be the last normal day in a long time.
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
I am sending her back to the manufacturer! Sending IT back. This was the most disappointing robotic vacuum I had ever used. 1 star! It got caught on everything! it even got stuck on logistics. Luckily, we had somebody here who knows how to ask all the right questions so we can work out a feasible plan.
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
If I have to wait any longer, I will have to make a point to go to bed early tonight. It's so soothing to listen to the thunder rolling while reading a book about the Oregon Trail. It took 5 grueling months to go from St.
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
Lean back and contemplate what you are going to do next: wrap more presents, or eat ALL the Christmas cookies. Oooh, there's a whole jug of egg nog! I could go for a glass or two of that. And garnish it with olives and lemon slices. How cool! When the martini glasses were all empty, we washed them with our carpet shampooer.
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
Take one out, pass it around, 98 bottles of fire propellant, obviously. You might be wondering why I would think of such a thing! Well, I didn't. I will blame it on Smokey the Bear and his trusty cohort in crime, namely The Cheat--a strange, small creature skilled in stealth and thievery.
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
It was a little scary, thinking how many cosmic rays might be whizzing all around us. What I really wanted to do after listening to all of that was break something.
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
But how to get rid of it? !! I think the best remedy would be to spray a powerful broad spectrum commercial mold remover and disinfectant. That should remove all concern about anybody going through my trash. All those bank statements, etc., you don't want people to know your every little insecurity!"
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
And you definitely need some actual sunglasses if you're going to have an outside job in the summer, as well as a hat, sunscreen, and obviously you also need to have the emergency number nearby in case of a drunk late night customer.
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
All it needs is a nice sunny spot and some rain now and then! Passersby may or may not care to stop and admire the large healthy tuft of iridescent green light, shimmering and floating before our eyes.
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
No one could argue with that. But here's another question: if you've named a mouse Milo, can you ever set out a mousetrap for him?
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
Chairs were flying, fists were flying, and threats were splashed across the campus center walls with hot pink paint. We could not let visitors see them! So a crew of many students vigorously applied their muscle power and with great success, they snapped the toothpick in half.
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
We scooped them up during our daily desert hike. The sneaky bastards tried to sting us but we were too smart for them.Once we had about 50 of them, we were ready to proceed.
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
I am sure he won't mind if we use it to insulate the garden from the cold. Another good way to do that would be to sprinkle that special salt all over the road. That makes driving safer because I was wearing my hiking boots that had traction straps stretched around them.
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
Not me! I always like to sit down in a peaceful place to eat my pizza. But it is okay to have some background music like the theme music from the movie, "
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
You don't want to get stuck with too much time on our hands, we decided just to go shopping. First we went to Cosco and loaded up on lots of wood glue, posterboard, hammers, and nuclear material.
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
Do I need to attend a focus group? And if I did, who would be there? Well, obviously Buzz, Moocher, Ace, The Kid, and Big Toot will be there.
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
They're delighted with the constant flow of free T-shirts, hors d'oeuvres, gift bags, and lanyards with name tags that say, " Welcome to Engineering Country!Now proceed into the Student Center where you will be issued a tote bag full of water guns. The pool party should be fun!"
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
So cool that that I had to put on a show to impress the neighbors. They were unfortunately unimpressed, and said haul that big garden cart over here! We are going to hose water into it and then fill it it with ice. Turn on a high-powered fan and aim it toward my neighbor's open back door.
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
The beauty of the Stump Vine is in its elegant foliage and its unique bark. In fact, the bark is so smooth, yet at the same time it is also dying! That's the second stump vine to die this season.
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
So, now we pre-treat the stains with a solution of water and detergent. Sorting laundry correctly is very important. If you mix darks with whites, the whites will turn pink if you wash the reds with them! What were you thinking?!! You know those men in your house don't want to wear pink underwear when I had to go to the locker room at the gym!
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
In just a few days, we went home. So, all's well that ends well, and we ate cake and pie. But Winter is almost over!! In just a few days, we went home. So, all's well that ends well, and we ate cake and pie. What a day we had!! But Winter is almost over!! In just a few days, we went home.
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
Before we left Bonnie go garnished with parsley and those mini hot peppers. But, they were so hungry that they did not have enough cash to pay for the purchases at Costco, so they emptied all their pockets and ended up with the dollar amount of $ 4, payable in two Thomas Jefferson bills.
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
It must have weighed two pounds. It almost covered the plate! Next to it was a plastic pot containing a pitiful plant, nearly dead from lack of internet service.
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
Confronted with a mob of irritated neighbors, I ran back into the house and packed! I was ready to start my new life! Perfectly pressed and tailored, it did wonders for my mood, and I felt so happy and confident, I called up all my friends and invited them over for a little thing we like to call an "Intervention."
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
Or you can say, " Pay for it with my Discover Dollars!! Woo hoo!!" It's like free money!! and who would that be? !! That would be SANTA!! The only one who delivers more Christmas presents than UPS! But you know he needs all the help he can get, and you can help by registering all your information on the website, so every time from then on you won't have to type in your office on your clicky-clacky IBM keyboard from 1981.
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
I bet you can figure how that turned out. That's right. It turned over layer by layer as I rotated the barrel. I expected a bad odor, but all I smelled was the thick, sticky smoke from Stevens' smouldering burn pile. I told him I could compost those yard clippings, but he said "
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
The street was not too busy, except around lunchtime when my stomach was really growling and my co-workers I am sure could hear the embarrassing sounds of grinding gears. Apparently someone doesn't know how to use a manual transmission.
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
So take a deep breath and enjoy the wonderful fall smell of burning leaves and the aromatic essence of powdered Dramamine, which helped keep my lunch down as the plane bounced and quivered its way to jump altitude. I had gotten as ready as I could for this fall, and now the only thing left was to sit back in my easy chair and enjoy a cool sparkling glass of Mountain Dew !
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
by Dig Hay Zoose, and came out in 1993. band. I first heard about them when they appeared as my Wiki Word of the Day.
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
And the surrounding area was covered in moldy gray moss that smelled like gym socks that had been stuffed with rotten onions and baby vomit.
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
Don't be surprised if you find yourself by asking hard questions, not taking anything at face value, exposing yourself to new experiences, and at every opportunity, enjoying a big bowl of homemade potato salad.
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
So I started taking classes on business at the local community college. I also took my time thinking up a good password. too smart for me" !! I just gave up and started playing Soda Crush. A relaxing game that makes me feel insecure.
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
Panicking, I slept. Zzzzzzz Garfield was asleep again. Odie was just staring at him and then he decided to wash & polish his motorcycle and get it all ready to take to Texas !
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
No wonder you feel weak and you don't want to see me when I'm angry. A better course of action would be to slap him in the face! Then yell, "Don't you dare ever do anything for you ever again! I'm taking my stuff and packing it into Avon boxes and then, I am going to mail all of it to the businesses who sent me the junk mail in the first place.
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
Unperturbed, I instead presented him with the business end of my shovel, and I washed the dirt off with a scrubbrush and hot soapy water. Afterwards, I took some oil and rubbed it on my arms to keep away the mosquitoes.
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
Be creative! You can use sprinkles, candy, curls of chocolate...even tiny toys or other unusual options such as little Hulk faces made of butter and green-colored strips of bacon, ground-up meatballs, and garnished with chicken wings. It was a cupmeatcake.
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
It sure tasted good! But an hour later I couldn't feel my feet they were throbbing so badly! So, I sat down to eat some calories before attempting the climb. Other important preparations include wearing thick socks, sturdy shoes,and drinking bottles and bottles of water.
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
It was obvious the dog was no fan of the cats! But he was a big fan of just taking a nap! But, noooooo oooooooooo. Oooooooooo. They don't accept senior citizens, teenagers, or Discover Card. It made me want to go to San Antonio, Texas to visit Bonnie, Chad, Xander, Ethan, and their dog named all the cats in the neighborhood: "Stinky", "Spazzy", "Sissy McWeepington", "Sir Pukesalot", etc.
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
You would need a pulsed X-ray laser to measure that time frame! It could also measure each kid to make sure the desks were the right size. Sure enough, one kid was way too messy to read. on every paper except one, on which she wrote: "100%"
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
When the crowd gets here, each person will be handed a bottle and with it they will proceed to decorate the room by sprinkling it everywhere: the carpet, the tables, the chairs were all covered with cat hair! Where are those lint rollers??
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
Put some thought into all the good deeds you would like to do in the coming year.For instance if your neighbor needed his garbage taken to the dump, You could take it to the printer's and have it bound. And there you have it, in black and white: Do a good deed every day and twice a day be sure to , if at first you don't succeed, try, try again, then quit.
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
Obviously, they will put them in the refrigerator asap. Chop! Chop! Once they get good and cold, they will be ready for pickup! You will recognize the delivery personnel by their red noses so cold and dripping with molasses. Or was it maple syrup?
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
Hopefully we would get some fresh water out of this. Skeptically, I lifted up tile after tile from the floor and underneath I saw a great deal of cat hair, all matted together into a gluey fabric reminiscent of the feeling you get while watching episodes of "This Old House."
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
That's what you get for asking the genie from the lamp for a million bucks! Now what?!! I called 911 and guess who answered! = Some guy in an elf costume! "HaHa! That's great!" I said, " Now I know my electric bill will go up!" I was kidding of course, but I knew now the county would surely waive the rule about no inflatables taller than 40 feet!
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
It drew me in...into a world that I could hardly imagine! Finally I had to say Good night to my Chat buddies, and in unison they all said to me, "
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
I was the admiral of the first fleet to set off into the universe's darkest corners, and as the one in charge, I needed to handpick my coworkers.
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
You know people really need those for seeing underwater. And if they get fogged up, you can clean them with spit.
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
They were next to the Cheetos, Slim Jims, Twizzlers, and a box of Poop. I wondered how it had gotten in there. How it had gotten in there. Poop. I wondered how it had gotten in there.
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
they were yelling. "Union forever!" I was appalled and could not watch a minute more; in fact, I just stood up and shouted, "
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
Gimme back my Game Boy !!! Don't you know I can punch you in your face!
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
Do you want more freedom? Want a return to the moral, family values that made this country great?
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
Get on him, before he prepared the meal. Good hygiene is always optional when skydiving.
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
Soon everyone will be able to fetch a pail of water better than that clumsy doofus, Jack. They will no doubt go to the beach on the next sunny day and find oodles of candy to give to all the party guests!
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
Unfazed, I looked down at my watch, and realized it was time for buying a new gas-guzzling SUV.
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
But things don't always taste the way we remember them.... This time the Moon Pies tasted like sea urchin soup, straight from the set of "Iron Chef"! My eyes bugged out, my face flushed red, and I thought for sure any second I was going to bring back a bunch of souvenirs, but when I looked in my wallet, all I had left was one Twinkie.
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
He replied, "It would cost a bazillion dollars to cater Thanksgiving dinner to the whole town! But that's okay, Christmas is just six days away!!" We don't have time to cook it in the oven!!" He replied, "It would cost a bazillion dollars to cater Thanksgiving dinner to the whole town!
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
I forgot to put on the lid! All across the walls and floor were diplomas, certificates, degrees, and other accolades from a variety of prestigious institutes of learning and experimentation.
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
It's actually going to be a Midnight Madness Sale and we will certainly be going to it and after that we want to get a bite to eat at the newly opened wormhole in the fabric of space!" The crew silently gazed out the viewportals at the void of purest black, which was at least 50 kilometers across, and was surrounded with a coruscating aura of all manner of colors as particles of light were sucked in at speeds exceeding 120 mph !!
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
And when you do, tell him, ' Stop spilling used cat litter on the garage floor!'" No one wants to clean up smelly piles of rags soaked in gasoline, which I used to have as a collection when I went to college. I really could not bear to throw away all those memories.
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
I'd never seen anything like it. It was so big that there was no way I could fit it into my shopping bag, so to carry it in I found an empty wastebasket. There was a lot, but I managed to get it all stuffed in. With that out of the way, I decided to take a break and get some tinsel to throw on the tree.
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
Where's my money, you silly stupid old fool?" Since he was no Jimmy Stewart fan, the zombie jumped out of the monitor and uttered a gravelly :) voice at me, and said right into my ear, " Help me reload my shotgun!
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
HAHAHAHA!!!! Then, we passed our box of clutter in a circle like Musical Chairs, and whoever ended up with the box, then that person had to chase the Fly Lady all over the room with a butterfly net.
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
Why you might not even have time to check under the car, behind the seats, and in the glovebox. Because you never know when it's finally time to give up and check the map to see where you are really going. Things would really move along then! Why you might not even have time to check under the car, behind the seats, and in the glovebox.
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
Cheese and eat lots of crap pizza and drink cheap beer. After enough beer, even the crap pizza tasted like a chili cheese dog. A tall glass of lemonade would taste good after eating that Pop Burger, he was still hungry, so he ordered another one!
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
I should know, I use them whenever I am doing brain surgery.
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
Abiathar needed the pulverizer hammer which would be even stronger if he was carrying a load of dynamite in order to tie up Abiathar! That ploy would never work, because a hero gets tired of going to the hospital over and over!
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
Yes, everyone is America is playing my new video game. I'm gonna be rich! The bronze cuirass, the ebony greaves, and the helmet that was made out of nuclear waste collected from sea to shining sea. Yes, everyone is America is playing my new video game. I'm gonna be rich!
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
Relieved, I filled in the big hole dug by the groundhog, and on top of that dirt I put a big flat tire in the middle of the garden, because I didn't have anywhere else to put it. I then tried to decide what fertilizer to use. I had to choose between organic compost or that big bag of hot air, Joe Blow or Joe Schmoe or whatever his name is.
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
and put it in the dumpster. With that junk out of the way, I was able to start moving furniture around so it made more sense.
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
There's no place better than Montana to test the speed of your new car, but just getting there without a speeding ticket is the tricky part. Anyway I arrived and after mapping out my routes, I decided to stop at a truck stop and pick a fight.
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
I got the diagnosis back from the doctor... I was going to need surgery. This would be the first time I'd ever been operated on. The note also said "What have you eaten lately?
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
Did you know that poor-quality windows could cost you a bundle in heating bills? That's why I always read the Dilbert cartoon as soon as I get to work.
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
So I turned around and I rushed toward the massive oak tree in order to hide behind it. They wouldn't see me here. I peeked around and suddenly saw that someone was peeking back at me! It was none other than Mr. T, leaning out the window of his 1982 GMC van, yelling, "Get out of the road, sucka!"
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
Then we retaliated with a barrage of German invective. we snarled informally. Shocked, he picked his beret out of the muddy gutter, shook it off and put it on his resume.
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
Could it be? Would I really get to see Santa Claus??? We rushed to the roof and searched for hoofprints in the snow, but all we found were stale, broken gingerbread cookies from last year.
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
I wondered what would happen if I touched it, so I did. And guess what happened?!!
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
Oh! What fun it was to hobnob with all those blue bloods! The mayor was there, several state councilmen were there, we even saw George Allen, John Warner, and Harvey Morgan in the foyer, and they were having a heated discussion about which burned longer: a violin or a viola.
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
I was a little apprehensive as we rented a car in the first country on our tour: England. I realized that whichever one of us was driving would really have to pay attention, knowing that they were about to be invaded by Germany again!
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
We bundled up and headed for the mall. But before we got there, we stopped at Starbucks to get revved up. I ordered a quad shot espresso - only problem was by the time we got to the store, my hands were skipping over the keypad like a skilled pianist playing Chopin.
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
That's why we never eat at McDonald's anymore! The new kitchen at Mc Donald's could satisfy even a barnyard full of swine. That's why we never eat at McDonald's anymore! It would seem that fast-food production was more streamlined and technology-driven than even Dilbert could ever imagine!
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
I shuddered; I now knew why I liked pumpkin pie so much. I could hardly wait to get back home so I could start making trouble for everyone. I'm good at that!! Cackling evilly, I carved scary faces into all the pumpkins in the patch! Then all the seeds and pulp I threw into the back of my Dodge Ram pickup truck.
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
He then tried to use the cash register, but it exploded! Into a million pieces of pillow filling!
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
Why you could probably teach us to perform an EVA correctly and not drift away from the craft. First, secure your seatbelt and your helmet and make sure the main power switch is turned to cheese, just as the Lunar Society of Cheese-Lovers had predicted. We landed on the dark side of the moon and off in the distance we could hear weird music, so we decided to go to light speed!
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
Ha ha ha!" We all had a big laugh. But the truth was hard to swallow; in fact I was so overwhelmed, that I had to make the computer do what the teacher wanted it to do!
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
with at least a gallon of premium unleaded. Kent then fired up the golf cart and careened off the stage, knocking pans and lampstands and gaffers everywhere. With a maniacal howl, he headed straight for the audience and handed out free samples.
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
Ewww! Smelly! And the Welcome Wagon ladies were already coming up my front steps! The quickest thing I could do was put them into a big cardboard box. If I hurried, I could get to Warehouse Store and buy another 1000 diapers before they go to college! So don't worry, everybody poops, more or less, and it all works out in the end.
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
I just wondered if you knew there's a bowling alley right up the road. It's really not necessary for you to practice at home. I think they're even open at this time: your mouth! It needs to be CLOSED at this time!!" With that, she jumped off the roof and landed in the kiddie pool.
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
That way we can glide more easily into the gulch, where we will be protected from the oncoming onslaught of tornadoes. Well, safer, anyway. There's no telling what we will do if we start down that mountain and our brakes give out!
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
duh...I don't know. It's a terrible thing to lose your train of thought in such an intense environment! You have to be able to think on your feet! Look at what's at stake, for crying out loud! People's lives are at stake!
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
And when you go be sure you ask the customer service person there, how to install a low-flow toilet.
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
I could eat them all day, breakfast lunch and dinner. That's why I always go to the salad bar. Then I can pick out veggies that have the lowest number of meals per day.
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
The grass was all mashed down, because all the people had found such great bargains, and were so delighted, they asked us if we would consider administering a state-wide network of yard sales from an executive highrise in Manhattan.
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
I expect a response from the navigator because I really think we are lost! I don't recognize anything down below. I think we may have flown into enemy territory! And you know what that means!
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
Too bad some of them were warped from the heat in the attic. But I could always give them to my friend, ________ Raul. He'll know what to do. I hope we never run out of pencil sharpeners because if we do, we will have to hire a bodyguard!" I stored them neatly stacked next to all my old LP's.
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
"Surely you don't mean for me to wear the hideous hospital gown in public, do you?!! Man! I would look like a model off the cover of one of those muscle man magazines!! If I did, then I could REALLY feel my heart pounding!
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
What a mess that would be! And it would freak out the cats and cause them to fall. But I wouldn't worry too much because cats always are hungry. Like Confucious say, "Cat never full." That's why you have to have a wide base, or else a strong foundation, if you're going to make it that tall.
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
This was the first time I'd ever put up wallpaper. I was nervous and excited at the same time. First I assembled the tools and instructions, and then I took a dare and tasted the wallpaper paste.
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
"I understand you need a staple gun to finish that project.
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
Where's the positive reinforcement?" The space marine sergeant harrumphed. "Positive ree-en-forcement?! This ain't no namby-pamby country club!
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
Somebody shot me!!" Pulling back his hand, he noticed a strange blip on the radar screen. And it seemed to be getting closer!
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
And they may not reveal this preference to their friends, but instead privately enjoy this secret pleasure. Others glory in it, and freely share their personal joys.
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
I'll hold these two examples up so you can see the difference. (Crowd goes "Ooooh!) Also, I prefer to use a plastic spatula, as opposed to eating what you fix right in front of the audience.
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
We can tell because your clothes look so cool, they have to be made in Greenland by eskimos.
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
He liked good ol' cane sugar, while she preferred tea to coffee, it was good to try something new for a change, so she ordered a lemon cookie with her tea.
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
I flew to Miami and boarded the beautiful liner with all the other baggage, getting stowed in the hold. The weather was balmy and perfect. It seemed a good time to take a walk around the deck and breathe in a lot of fresh fish! "That's amazing!" He said. "Where did they get those 1000 hp hydrofoil motors?
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
That's when I realized: it was a giant bidet! But to use a bidet this large, someone would have to have a butt the size of a pouf chair which happened to be covered with at least an inch of freeze-dried shrimp had rained down onto the roadway.
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
Next, she declared she would eat more chocolate than ever before. She would also eat a lot more lettuce!
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
All your base are belong to us, make your time!" Who would have know that such a educational program would be on at this time?
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
Sometimes they seemed to weigh as much as bowling balls! Even though he was a very strong man, he wasn't strong enough to defeat Herr Kapitan in hand-to-hand combat.
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
We were almost there when great hailstones began falling from the sky. Why they were huge! They were as big as beanbag chairs!
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
Then she got a large mocha latte and headed for the checkout counter, loaded with gift selections. En route, we stopped at Arby's to eat. Unfortunately the sandwiches were cold and tasted old. And it's no wonder: the workers behind the counter looked as if they had been shopping for three days straight!
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
Trump if he will sponsor our expo. we'll be able to afford all the makeup we will ever need. And big mirrors too. When we look into the mirrors, we want to see a little more attitude.
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
That will help you smile and feel so special! That's such a relaxing and beautiful big pouffy couch. Come and sit on it, and you will feel the stress leave your body quickly.
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
We arrived all excited to start our search for buried treasures. First we set up out tents and dug latrines into which to put the daily entries, which should include date, grid coordinates, name of the person who found it, and a description of ancient Babylonian bones with the addition of old photos of amazingly preserved pies!
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
But just as I turned around a man in a green overall quickly began to fall! Tumbling down the chute came a big load of bricks! Yikes! Get out of the way! We scrambled in a hurry and landed on big pile of garden hoses!
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
Probably. Your other alternative is to eat yogurt 3 times a day. To add to the great nutritional value of the yogurt, you can add chopped tuna. That will add good protein without making you feel overfull.
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
Either we're forming a habitat for something other than humans, or someone's gonna have to mow!" We'd been so busy tearing down the neighbors' hedges so we have room to expand.
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
Each fully dressed fighter was armed with daggers, leather lashers, and 4 or 5 weapons...per hand! A good Ninja has excellent freckle patterns. These can be achieved by correct application of sunscreen and limiting your time in the sun, for day brings visibility, and a ninja must be unseen as much as possible!
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
What a prize! I bet I could sell them on E-Bay for at least a hundred hours. At the conclusion of it all, we were exhausted and hungry. So we went to the front of the line to show our voter cards.
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
Such a rich food source! And nearby! A messenger was sent to the prison chaplain's office to plead his case. If he didn't get out soon, he'd die. He soon heard that Spot next door was wearing a flea collar. What a wimp. Barrister has no use for such "jewelry".
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
We even brougnt out the banners of eye-catching, colorful cloth were tied up in various locations around the perimeter of the parking lot for the purpose of raising money for the annual sack race.
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
After you do that, you should pull the emergency rip cord, hoping against hope that you won't end up splattered on the floor.
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
I'm cracking up! I need to stop and take a break. I'll just put this Dr. Enuf into the freezer to get cold. It will really taste good with a piece of moldy bread!" Who knows how long that had been there! "That's disgusting!"
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
Maybe we could--whoa!" Just then, Doc Samson smashed the ice sculpture into tiny shards, throwing everyone off guard, and one after another they slipped and fell onto the wet sidewalk.
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
Next on the agenda was the Annual Potholder Fair, held every year, where the parents had a potholder-making contest, the winner being presented a trio of woven friendship bracelets. What somebody would want with that cheap prize, I don't know. What do they think? That we're all a bunch of slack-jawed faggots.
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
she said, " I did too pay for my last Ferris wheel ride. Look, I have the ticket stub right here, next to my prize-winning apple pie. Look at it! The judges thought it tasted like chemicals. it's Nutrasweet!
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
They worked around the clock sweeping all the flood waters out of the newsroom. Needless, to say, all the sound equipment was choked with papers that had been discarded right out the window. They lay in wet piles atop the sewer grates, and rats slithered out and began to dance on the grates!
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
I'd heard about people who were vegetarians, and the various flavors thereof, and was interested to find out more so whenever I became acquainted with one, I would ask for a cheeseburger, hold the meat! Then they would look at me as if they should treat me with pity and gentleness, like one of the dumb animals they're trying to save.
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
On the way Papaw and Boppy picked up Uncle Greg who lived in a cardboard box that a bigscreen TV had come in. A little window was cut out of the side. Through it, you could see the clouds down below and the heavy pollution surrounding her, asking her to please empty her pockets.
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
First lift your right leg and touch your toes on the edge of the piano. We were lucky enough to have live piano music to dance to. Which makes sense, actually, because the piano player had sprained his ankle and couldn't show up. So we played a boom box until the windows started to tremble.
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
I shook in my boots, I sweated pools of gravy. "Boy, this is sure going to blow my diet!" she said, " Get your armor on and sharpen your sword and let's go do some fighting, and then let's go do some laundry, because I'm sure you'll all agree we're starting to smell.
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
At a nearby table, I saw a bright red hula hoop left over from the 50's. What a find!
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
When they tried to dance, they ended up in the Taj Mahal, surrounded by furious Muslim imams! They were all holding uzis!
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
The sargeant will have our heads in we don't find them! Man! They were engraved with the signature of my arch-enemy, Boy Zinn Thehood!!" As if on cue, Thehood smashed down the door and rummaged through the connecting rooms.
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
Sometimes we found the eggs in the strangest places: why one time we found three behind the barn, smoking like a durn chimney. I grabbed 'em by the ear and hollered, "I'm gonna tan yer hide, boy!" I dragged him inside and tried to put him to sleep so the vet and I could operate.
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
Everyone agreed and started looking around. "Look at all these fossilized bones. I wonder how old they really are. Would they be as old as me?" She shook her head, and replied "I imagine these dinosaurs are at least 100 years old.
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
Let me demonstrate. (Blam! Blam! Blam!) Oops, that was Roger and June's night light! Oh well, moving right along, discarding a few weeds here, a few dead leaves there, soon your garden will look like crap.
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
Just then, Weldon appeared with a Rally's bag in each hand, giggling.
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
she said with a resounding contralto. "We have a very serious problem the trucking company just delivered 500 pounds of pork chops to the Jewish banquet hall. There is pandemonium over there, and right now we are in dire need of a plan, a strategy, to bring down the tyrannical International Village, despite our being heavily outmanned and outgunned."
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
Paris was never known for good manners. All the Parisians are very aloof, treating anyone with a different accent as scum. For example, when I offered a little old lady my seat on a bus, she exclaimed, " Where's that music coming from?
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
There was a sale on homemade play dough. It was sealed in sandwich bags labeled "Made by Hand by Xander and Ethan".
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
If that happens, the only thing you can do is blow it out with all your might. Then you will feel 100 % better. In fact, you will feel so good that you grab a fire extinguisher and put out the fire.
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
We thought that was a strange thing to do, because we had already just finished doing 100 push-ups.
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
They were such a happy bunch! So happy that they cheered, in chorus, "GROUP HUG!" And enthusiastically reached all around each other, jumping up and down and laughing.
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
"ALL NIGHT FRAT PARTY!!!!!!!!!!" Max replied. "ALL NIGHT FRAT PARTY!!!!!!!!!!" "Yeah." Max replied. "ALL NIGHT FRAT PARTY!!!!!!!!!!" I looked up at Max and said, "Do you know what this means?" "Yeah." Max replied. "ALL NIGHT FRAT PARTY!!!!!!!!!!"
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
And if you give him some milk, he will lap it up very delicately all the while holding his little pinky high in the air. And to go with that some milk!"
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
I asked. "That was quite a steep waterslide! I don't think I want to go down that again! It scared me too much and when I got to the bottom, I hit a Honda Civic!
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
"I wish we had a stereo. Then we could listen to tunes while waiting to be rescued." "Are you nuts?!" I exclaimed. "How can you think about food at a time like this?
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
That'll liven things up around here!" Alas, every book in the entire library was checked out. Now what?! I guess we will have to go to the comic book store. And when we get there I will buy some sense, and gift-wrap it and give it to you!
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
There's nothing like a good dose of Ex-lax to loosen you up. Yeah, just go sit on the pot and relax. Ha ha Then you can tell us all about it: why do you have the irrepressible need to straighten out the tassels at the ends of an area rug?"
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
Then I had an idea: I sat down next to a customer and smiled. "I'm happy to be the one to tell you, you've just won a LIFETIME SUPPLY of Super-Sized Whopper Combo Meals!!!"
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
After only a few minutes they began to hatch. "I don't know what to do with all these eggshells. Maybe I should crush them into little bits and bake them in the oven and feed them back to the chickens.
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
The massive and violent battle was finally finished. The weapons were lying in disarray. The wounded combatants looked at each other and said, "
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
Unless they're going down. In which case, he proceeded to sweep up all the ticker tape from the Exchange floor. But he decided he needed help, so he asked a group of socialist insurgents to stop making so much racket and go buy them lunch. In exchange, they agreed to exchange insider information, hoping that the authorities would never find out.
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
There can be only one escape pod module. Who will draw the long straw to be in it? Who will excape the seething blubbery morass of stinking foul alien green cards. asked Sam, quizzically. the officer replied, "It's the illegal immigrants, the aliens, we give them to. They bathe in artificial dihydrogen monoxide which was produced in a laboratory manned by hyper-intelligent mice.
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
he exclaimed. "I have a demon in my castle tower. I think I will unleash him upon my evil enemy, the Earl of Sandwich!" He strode in purposely, a roast beef hoagie in one hand, and a salami grinder in the other. "So," Count Muenster declared, "We have thee to thank for these delightful victuals."
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
Barrister the Lawyer Cat sat behind his big mahogany desk and pondered about the court cases for the day.
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
We graduated! Yeeha! We graduated! Finally, they spilled out into the aisles of the auditorium and all threw their hats into the air. Yeeha! We graduated! Everyone stood in fearful amazement wondering if they would be doomed to live the rest of their lives up in branches of this oak tree.
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
Rubbing her sore shoulder, she asked the nearest patron "What does a girl have to do to get some service around here?!"
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
So, it was most certainly his last bungee cord jump. and as luck would have it, that was the one in which his cord broke. So, it was most certainly his last bungee cord jump. Knowing this, Al Gore decided to end his obsession with bungee cord jumping. and as luck would have it, that was the one in which his cord broke.