Betty's Turn-Down Game

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Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
PASSWORD=geroniusAh, the yellow daffodils, the purple lilac, the white dogwoods, the magenta azaleas...all lift up your heart and make you feel alive! Take a deep breath-- and pray that your antihistamine is working, because I think you just inhaled more pollen than air!
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
It's like a cry for help, or something. All this stuff had to be bagged and filed as evidence. We had a big job ahead of us: figuring out how to get in a vehicle fast enough to outrun the sun as it moved from east to west. Turns out it has to be going 1,000 miles an hour, so obviously a car was out.
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
Cats, speeding cars, rogue birds...the squirrels fought to survive every day, and had done so for centuries. Once, on the eve of an invasion, all the neighbors noticed more squirrels than usual sprinting over roofs and roads, gathering on the tree branches, clinging to the tree trunks, watching waiting, watching, waiting.
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
Then they slammed down the phone, jumped up and down, and stomped into the mud room. Most people's mud rooms have a bench where you can sit down and take off your muddy boots before you go into the house.
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
But Chancellor Palpatine has UNLIMITED POWER!!!!!!!!! That's why Master Windu got disarmed. Dang Sith. Dang them straight to heck. But anyway, that's okay because we'll fry it later.
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
Everybody loves it when an opportunity arises just to pause for a minute and enjoy nature. Sometimes these opportunities happen unexpectedly, so I headed out to the Xander/Boppy burning pit to strike a match to one bag of paper trash and to another bag that held the other albums Mannheim Steamroller was famous for: Christmas Extraordinaire.
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
Well, e-friends anyway. Those were the ones I trolled the most. And one time this guy said to me, " Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?" I was so frustrated because it seemed like I had been so close to finishing!
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
As the countdown began, the Kiwis settled comfortably back in their form-fitting astronaut seats and prepared for take-off. They had no worries, no nervous tics, and grinned at each other knowing they would be the first to land on Mars and start a Kiwi Colony!
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
they then proceeded to let loose a tremendous battle cry, striking fear into the hearts of their enemies. Their fury was legendary, their strength and unity were more than we could contend with. Once, they were humble, housecleaning appliances. Now, the weaponized and evolved robovacs had become an army, one which had a single purpose: to clean up the filth that is humanity.
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
And the popping in my ears was like I had never felt before ! Almost like I was back at wrestling training camp in Louisville, Kentucky. I was barely a stick of a kid back then but I had big dreams.
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
If you don't have your ribbons neatly wrapped on spools, at least don't rest anything heavy on them to crush them. In advance of your gift-wrapping day, make a list of who gave what so I could send them a thank you note. With each note I could include a handmade gift tag to indicate who it's from-and-to, but instead I'd really rather use this stick of dynamite!
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
You might be wondering why I would think of such a thing! Well, I didn't. I will blame it on Smokey the Bear and his trusty cohort in crime, namely The Cheat--a strange, small creature skilled in stealth and thievery.
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
And the texture was very light, like gossamer. Bewildered by so many things we had never encountered before, we knew this was only the beginning of the end. Streaking fire fell from the sky, and portals opened in the earth, from which spilled the uncountable, writhing forms of extradimensional creatures.
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
From that point on, I knew I had to block the back door fast because water was truly running down the hill and quickly coming into the living room where we were playing a board game.
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
I just hoped they knew how to fill out an unemployment form, because at the rate they're going, they're going to need to!
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
We protected our eyes and ears with homemade insecticide, made with vinegar, water, and a tablespoon of Miracle-Gro should do the trick I also thought a little pruning would help, so I pulled out of my pocket my pair of tweezers. I always carry them with me in case anyone needs them because they have a splinter or a tick or a stray unwanted hair, or in case they have a stray unwanted coyote wandering around, digging in the trash, chasing rabbits.
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
Greg said as he walked in with crowbar the size of his arm. "Stand back!" But Boppy exclaimed, "I can't kill it if I've named it!"
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
They replied, "We achieve it by a combination of blister cream and bandaids. And it works! Next time we take a walking tour we will bring plenty of musical instruments, especially guitars and drums." That sounded good, but I had to wonder if there would be enough butter pecan ice cream to go around.
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
I don't want no yankee syrup. I may as well have this with a side of socialism and a hot mug of Bernie Sanders Uber Alles. Give me a bottle of Mrs. of A!" She then pounded the table for emphasis, causing all the stray animals to congregate in Bonnie's back yard.
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
And don't forget to put on deodorant because you don't know who you might run into. You might even run into a zamboni!
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
If you put the cheese on last, the vegetables will get sour and moldy if you leave them out of the frig too long. Why don't you decide what you are going to do with them? For starters, you could have salad, breadsticks, or everyone's favorite--stuffed mushrooms! Appetizers get people in the mood of a party!
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
foam fingers and their goofy hats with the springy antennas. politicians, but true to form, they proceeded to just laugh and point and not help at all. Not only were the kids running around like crazy, the adults were really getting hungry and with the hunger came grumpiness.
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
Other than that, who would be there? Maybe some hopeful whiners and a few frowning judges. It's always a boost to the self-confidence when the person in charge starts ranting and raving, maybe someone needs to pour on his head a bucket of vomit!
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
The title of it was How to Win at Minecraft! Bonus! came over and saw the title, He exclaimed, " There's literally a party going on in the hall outside my door!" He hadn't even realized it, though, because he had not taken a shower in so long!
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
I blurbled. He looked at me like I was an idiot. he said as we sped toward the marina. When we got there, a huge fog bank rolled in, and it looked really scary, so we waited until the sun went down. Then it was cooler because we switched the fan to counter-clockwise, and that made us feel sleepy.
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
I didn't want to break the bad news, but police could show up at any minute! When they get here, we will make our favorite hamburger strogonoff using ground up stumps. The result is a very useful mulch. Put all of it in the back of the truck and take it to the dump!
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
So I went shopping and bought 5 boxes of dye. The 5 colors I picked were black, navy blue, charcoal gray, gray, and maroon. There will be no danger of wearing dirty clothes again! Everything is washed, dried, and hung on hangers!Woohoo ! Now, the only solution would be to tie-dye everything !
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
Is that cool or not? Glo-Quips sent a photographer and when he came by, he shoveled the sidewalk in front of their french doors, even though everybody knows they never salt the roads anymore because the salt rusts out the undercarriage of the metal railing.
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
With its comfortable grip and good balance and accuracy, this pistol would be a good choice for wearing on the plane. Remember it gets cold on the plane, so you would probably need to holster it." With that, he turned on his heel and and phoned for the men in white to bring a strait jacket.
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
I am so bored!! I might as well take a nap. It's cold & cloudy today, so I am going to find my fur gloves and my fur hat, and put them on my dresser next to my collection of Birkenstocks and in fact, they were taking up so much floor space, that I had to rearrange a few things so that it would boil and roil and steam was rising rapidly.
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
Confronted with a mob of irritated neighbors, I ran back into the house and packed! I was ready to start my new life! Perfectly pressed and tailored, it did wonders for my mood, and I felt so happy and confident, I called up all my friends and invited them over for a little thing we like to call an "Intervention."
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
Click clack click clack. The sound was like a cash register that would not stop....I had blown my budget big time and now I for sure must make a decision.
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
Then, once I found my shovel and a bucket, it was time to start to start bagging up the compost to sell at our roadside stand.Per bag, the price would start at $159.00 Some may say that's high, but it's worth it because good compost does not stink !
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
Surprised, she tried to scrape off the slimey skin but underneath she was shocked to find a handful of rare and fragrant Allegra roses! Leaning in close, she could see tiny maggots ! Horrible ! How did they get there?
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
Getting ready for falling? Thinking fast, I ran down the hill trying to stay ahead of the rolling pumpkin. I was hoping to catch it before it fell into the raging river down below.
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
He switched to listening to Peter Furler Band instead and went to put some more shrimp on the barbie, then played footy with his mates until they got attacked by a pack of rabid dingoes. Or DC Talk Redux." He switched to listening to Peter Furler Band instead and went to put some more shrimp on the barbie, then played footy with his mates until they got attacked by a pack of rabid dingoes.
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
Spray it with a mixture of epsom salts, garlic juice, and a little bit of crushed eggshells. Tamp down the tourniquets I had to put on my arms after accidentally slicing them with the trowel. Angry and frustrated, I threw it into a tub of warm soapy water hoping I could soak out the blood.
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
You should be careful about what you watch on TV before you go to bed. It might give you bad breath and terrible indigestion.
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
I am on pins and needles. I am sitting on the front porch now watching for the app to close without losing my patience with it. Instead I decided to add a new game app. The name of it was Clash of the Terrible Twos. Unpredicatable, delightful, exhausting, outrageous and wonderful, the new ring tone was delightful.
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
It was going to be a whirlwind adventure, scenic, and of course buying lots of tickets: to the movies, to the amusement park, and to go to the back of the bus where you can be alone so you can read your fortune cookie!
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
Only then can a person really have the courage to stand up before an audience and give a rallying speech. Make sure you have good posture and have a glass of water hidden under the blankets.
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
Disappointed and frustrated, I determined that the cosine of a right angle is equal to the length of the adjacent line divided by the hypotenuse. and called the cops, thinking I was about to hang a hippopotamus.
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
Decorating is the part that's the most fun. Be creative! You can use sprinkles, candy, curls of chocolate...even tiny toys or other unusual options such as little Hulk faces made of butter and green-colored strips of bacon, ground-up meatballs, and garnished with chicken wings.
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
There, under a little tree, we saw all colors of lichens growing on the bald rock. When I touched one, it felt rough. I decided to take a picture. I took out my camera and turned around facing west where in the distance we could see giant floaters in our vision!
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
If there's one thing I know, it's that you never want to lace-up shoes to the airport, because they are too hard to get on and off, especially if they are laced with arsenic!
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
Getting hired is one of the biggest energy boosts ever! They say the most important thing to consider when deciding to accept a new job is whether or not to include your brief stint as a soldier of fortune. That job took you to the back room to show you where to sit and how long it will take for the next assignment.
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
Carpe Noctem !" So we worked through the night putting the final touches on the family portrait. If only everyone would stand still! If only I had remembered all the eggnog was gone! Why is the eggnog always gone? Why is the New Year's number always depicted as novelty eyeglasses?
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
"Haha! W.C. Fields said that!" I exclaimed. "OK, now it's your best hope for improving your life. So what do you want?
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
Sit back, relax, and take a big sample of that egg nog !! I think we deserve it ! Now you are all set for a very Merry Christmas! Sit back, relax, and take a big sample of that egg nog !! I think we deserve it ! Arrange them in a semi-circle under the Christmas tree, but make sure they are not near any pets.
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
The perfect answer to our problem--WD-40 is famous as a remedy for squeaky hinges and cleaning away sticky gunk, but I bet you didn't know you can also use it for a lethal weapon. uh-oh. There are three things you never want to hear your plumber say: "Uh-oh", "This is really going to cost a lot", and "
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
Well-stuffed tummies are definitely a part of Christmas: pot-bellied snowmen, Santa...all indicative of prosperity and feasting. That's my favorite! He was left in utter darkness and promptly eaten by a grue.
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
We're doing an intervention." Of course, this was completely ludicrous to me because I always like to play solo and joining a team at this juncture would be such a bad idea that my Hot Pockets supply would be depleted, and I would also run out of a deep dark tunnel lined with spider webs and hanging from the ceiling were bats!
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
Each person has to pick which future century they want and they can also pick out what kind of simulation they wanted to be in during the operation.
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
And after 30 minutes, you can add another layer of impermeable film. That will prevent water loss through evaporation. That will mean fewer times you have to refill the pitcher at your lemonade stand.
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
That would probably hurt. That would probably hurt. It hurt so much I had to get a carpal tunnel syndrome operation!
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
"They'll never ever find their way outta here with all the lights out! The whole theater is completely dark, and the ushers are busily passing out fliers advertising a competing movie theater!"
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
I shook my head, and shut my eyes and fell into a manhole! OOOH ! Fortunately, I landed on my feet on a big pile of money.
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
After that, all they could think about was getting to Pop's before it closed, so they could each buy a ticket to ride in the new roller coaster, "Maximus Vomitorium", designed by a team of students.
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
I walked over to get a closer look, and punched him in the face! He yelled, " HEY!! WHAT'S GOING ON?!?!" Stunned, I whirled around and to hear Penelope throwing up!
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
But warm tea goes down like vanilla pudding: smooth and chewed just as if it came out of a brand new electric stirring mechanism. So now if you have peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, or peas porridge in the pot nine days old, you can be assured it will be well-stirred even if you're not around.
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
she whined as she tugged her jacket tigher around herself. This crazy weather had been going on for thousands of years. No one could have anticipated the catastrophe that was just around the corner.
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
"What?" I said. "I THOUGHT I saw a passenger carrying a suspiciously-shaped bag. I was scared that in it would be a basket of fruit. like a nice day at the beach with relaxing waves, shimmering sunlight, and lots of ketchup for the French fries.
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
But just as I was about pile up my plate with some lovely decorated Rainbow Pony cupcakes were left at my doorstep! I wonder who brought them? Could it have been that I had made them myself and forgotten? At any rate, there was nothing to do now but include them in the meal.
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
And in it were stale pieces of air. There wasn't enough oxygen to breathe! Gasp! He had to get out! He had to order pizza to be delivered to the lab and the toppings were a choice from four: The four edible choices were BBQ beef brisket, chicken tetrazini, grilled salmon, or a Popburger.
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
I got on the internet and found a lot of good stuff for presents! It was as easy as pie to pick out a bunch of gifts to be sent to his room for being such a bad boy. He had a bad habit of eating too much pizza before I go to bed...
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
There was no time for making pizza. We are running out of time! We want to get all this cleaned up and haul all the junk to the Gloucester Short Lane ice cream parlor, where we ate so much we could barely fit in our newly-reorganized garage.
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
If you want to have a proper Tennessee smooth-sippin' holiday that's the only way." "NO WAY!" I retorted. "I don't want the malls to close until midnight!
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
I know! I will make a shield out of strips of flank steak. We'll marinate them in 4 ounces of gooey, green, groddy BRAINS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" But by that point there must have been at least 1,000 zombies! They were now known to be in cahoots with the left wing red diaper doper babies.
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
HAHAHAHA!!!! Then, we passed our box of clutter in a circle like Musical Chairs, and whoever ended up with the box, then that person had to chase the Fly Lady all over the room with a butterfly net. Unfortunately she could not bear to get rid of anything after all the decluttering, so she proceeded systematically to attack the zombies!
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
Believe it or not , I was going to act the part of the fool! That way they would never suspect that the next place I put the hat would be like crushing prunes into stewed okra. Things would really move along then! Why you might not even have time to check under the car, behind the seats, and in the glovebox.
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
Our first order of business was to hide in the bushes and squirt everybody who walked by with a big dose of NyQuil. Within moments they were fast asleep, and I was able to turn flips so fast that we could not keep our eyes focused; nor could we show our face in Chuck E.
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
I decided to get a second opinion. The new doctor examined me, and with a big smile on his face, said to me, "
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
He leapt to his feet, grinned from ear to ear and slammed the Death Wish Mortificator into the bottom of the Hydra's stomach.
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
That'd make a good name for a game: "Playstation Frustration"! In that game you'd start out in the sewers killing rats with your bare hands, then after reaching your first level, you would start hanging pictures, nice and straight.
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
But they were eating all the leaves off my periwinkles. This calls for action! So I mixed up a poison solution and poured it on the fire to put it out!
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
mixed with cables, network cards, and little plastic bags of ICs of every conceivable kind.
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
Anyway I arrived and after mapping out my routes, I decided to stop at a truck stop and pick a fight.
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
It wouldn't have been the first time. They quietly ordered an X-ray of his brain, completely unsure what the bulge was. They were pretty sure though that the X-ray would show the presence of decades-old cysts the size of walnuts.
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
If you don't believe us, just go look in the mirror, and you will see why all accountants insist on only being paid with gold bullion. They all laughed, and said you look like an alien!
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
It left a mighty bruise, though, and hurt like crazy, so I let out a yell that sounded like a pickup truck, headed straight for me!
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
we snarled informally. Shocked, he picked his beret out of the muddy gutter, shook it off and put it on his resume. This will surely impress them! They'll be so impressed they will spew! Just kidding, of course, but who knows, you may end up in Swaziland, in a dark jungle, surrounded by insipid but angry Frenchmen frothing epithets at us proudly patriotic Americans.
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
Just like the song goes: "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer...
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
We came running and saw many tentacles creeping out of the hatch, and they were reaching for a rope to pull themselves out before the Lazor Beam Hydra returned!!!!!!!! Luckily, they had heard this brainteazor before, (or hopefully one of them was a good gueszor).
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
I asked, and they said please to take our seats immediately! The maestro was heading down the center aisle was Hulk Hogan! he howled, and the audience began to shuffle their feet with boredom.
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
But to my surprise, he snapped the cork out of the bottle of champagne out poured it on my pancakes. Famished, I dug in with reckless abandon. For dessert I asked for English Trifle, a scrumptuous dessert of whipped cream, fresh fruit, and sponge cake soaked with nervous sweat.
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
I first used it to wipe my nose. I needed no distractions ,I had to be totally focused because of the traffic snarls, the icy streets, and the crazy dudes out front with the pots and handbells. Every time I walk by, they scare me.
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
at least, he would be a customer if he ever made up his mind and ordered something. I tried not to smirk when the customer called me "Luv". I knew she was from Guinea, especially when she proceeded to order a Whopper...oops, this is McDonald's!!!
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
We made enough for 50 people! So we invited the whole neighborhood, and when they all showed up we gave them a couple bucks and told them to go fetch us a newspaper. While we waited, the kids were able to play a beanbag game.
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
What are you thinking?! = Waa waa waa waa I'm all out of cough syrup!!!!!!!! You can't be sewious! Back to the Battle!!!!! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Back to the basics of the hip-hop scene, just a loop, and some lyrics, and a mic, you know what I mean?
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
Would it help if I released the emergency brake? She smiled sweetly and pushed the button that sent them all hurtling into a black hole. No light speed??? Would it help if I released the emergency brake?
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
taking this class. In fact most of the students looked at least as old as MS-DOS. Which would put it at about 25 years old. There was also an acoustic coupler modem on display. "Wow!" I exclaimed when my turn came to say Wow! Ah just kidding! The new teacher was quite a knock-out!
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
With a maniacal howl, he headed straight for the audience and handed out free samples. Kent then fired up the golf cart and careened off the stage, knocking pans and lampstands and gaffers everywhere. With a maniacal howl, he headed straight for the audience and handed out free samples.
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
We put them in the bathtub because it's just easier to wipe two bottoms at the same time.
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
They won't lay eggs with all this noise! When I go out to check the nests I might be surprised to find my neighbors have switched from listening to rap music to classic.
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
We immediately had a flat tire! And I know it was because we ran over a speed bump that was so big, the front end of the car shot into the air! We were leaning back like astronauts! As if on cue, the voice of Jackie Gleason could be heard exclaiming, "You're going too fast!"
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
As if an answer to prayer, up walked none other than George W. Bush! red, white, and blue streaks were all we could see of the cars!
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
Why don't you turn off the water while you brush your teeth? You don't need to flush the toilet every time you use it. Flush it only when you go number two. Or if it's really raining, then you better run out with every bowl or bucket you have. It may be your only chance to go to the bathroom before we do our one and only daily flush.
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
Now that's what I call slim! Next thing you know, you'll be able to actually see your toes instead of your belly and put your wedding ring on without using petroleum jelly!
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
When it is time to go to the bank, I am sure we will NEVER MISS any of this stuff! It feels SO GOOD to relax now and do my yoga exercises!
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
Let's see what happens if I push it! Whoa Nellie! That's looks like a squadron of Russian MiGs attempting to intercept my vector!
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
And what's more, your nose is too much to resist. This is why I never go into CompUSA unsupervised."
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
Only problem now was the fact that scratching the rash had left me with less than $5 in my pocket. I could not afford to have them do that diagnostic test, so I told him, "That's okay, I probably don't need both kidneys. I'm not very big so I must not have that much blood to filter, right?" The doctor sighed and took out the tongue depressor and inserted it into the patient's file.
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
They'll never figure it out! They'll see little toy mice dangling from the penthouse roof. They will just love all the neat ideas I have come up with for their entertainment.
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
They wear out or break even before you've finished one project! It pays to set aside enough time to complete the job; otherwise, you are left with wallpaper paraphernalia strewn across the house for the next four months.
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
She thought that the circular saw would be perfect to slice the ham and salami for our lunch that day - can you believe that?" I almost lost it - not only were there woodchips in my sandwich, but now my favorite electric tool was perfect for sanding the hardwood floor prior to refinishing it.
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
I wanted to ask if you knew there is a moose in your front yard! He seems to be trying to find candidates for his galactic space marine training academy. "I'm only 18!" I argued. he said, "I know you're not in it for the money. We always like to see people like you come through the door. You make us feel inadequate and incompetent.
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
It might just be a squadron of Zentraedi fighters, looking for easy human prey! They're in for a big surprise because our landing wheels won't come down.
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
I came into this world a nobody, but I'm going to leave happy. Yes siree! No one can take the smile off my face!
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
Look what just landed on the counter! It's a big glop of pork brains! Mix it in with the scrambled eggs and you will have a breakfast served to you in several courses, as I finish each section of the show.
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
Frightfully stern in their trenchcoats and black sunglasses, they appeared to be staring at those bits of broccoli stuck in his teeth....How gross!
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
One shoe came off and smacked a customer in the face! He stood up and gathered his belongings, which was difficult to do while holding the coffee cup.
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
So when I asked the recreation director where to go, he told me to go jump in the lake. I said "I can do better than that! " I could have told you he was crazy, and everyone would have agreed with me, but still, no one could believe what he did next: he set the throttle to flank speed, and ran the ship aground, right in the middle of the beach!
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
Captain Underpants was an unlikely here. He had super strength, could fly, was invulnerable, yet was about as smart as a brick. His nemesis, Professor Poopypants, won a blue ribbon at the county fair for producing the longest poop--a record hard to beat.
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
I mean what are we here for? We must improve our health! So we're focusing on diet, exercise, stress management and decluttering of house, home, and mind. A big job, but somebody's got to do it, and it might as well be YOU!
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
This team of friends had agreed to buy all the ingredients to make homemade pizza. So before they went to the store they made a list of ingredients: Trix cereal, cinnamon bun, chocolate milk, and peanut butter cookies! All part of a balanced beam that came crashing through the front door.
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
We were too quickly running out of everything: bottled water, powdered milk, and freeze-dried corpses of agents of years past. because we couldn't run the risk of any publicity. The slightest amount could alter the electrolyte balance of everyone on the base!
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
The A/C was cranked up (or is it down?), fortunately. I had some ice cream and once I was cooled off I ran back outside to warm up. Ah the warm desert air blowing from the west, bringing with it a great deal of heat.
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
"Everyone's getting Jolly Ranchers this year!" I laughed maniacally as I headed for Costco and their 750-count, 10 pound bag.
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
Show me that anorexic girl who came in a while ago. She has the look we want. She must weigh close to 350 pounds. But that's OK. that's right... Perfect! She's a door. The next girl can pose on this poof chair. It is shaped like a high-heeled shoe.
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
You wouldn't want to come back to a place with such rotten food. Chicken and prunes! Yuk! I would rather have a deadly attack robot! It would have to be at least 8 feet tall and 4 feet wide.
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
"The sites contaminated, and we ourselves slowly dying from some unknown ancient curse, it was only a matter of time before we and all our work disintegrated back into ancient history.
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
I had to giggle because it reminded me of all the failed projects in the past. I always either had too little lumber, too few nails, or too few employees available to help me!
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
It will only stress you out, raise your blood pressure and increase your intake of calories. For instance, have a strawberry for dinner instead of nothing! See, once you get the idea, you'll understand you can't live on rice cakes and water. And that's when you'll need a tongue depresser and flashlight in order to look down your nose at people who weigh more than you do!
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
should certainly qualify me to start my new house! I had already drawn the plans which would include 2, maybe 3 banks of cannons to blow away looters, marauders, and other human filth that would start roaming the streets if Kerry was elected president.
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
Countering the attack with another new move, the hovering spinning high kick, he propelled his opponent across the room flew a whirling bat ninja right at me. I was terrified! I screamed out for several long minutes, the elation of victory like electricity shooting through my body.
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
Then John Edwards told him, "It would really be to your advantage to settle on one candidate, especially the one who wanted to lower taxes and advocated more refreshments for the people who went to the trouble to come out to vote!
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
Always eating all their expensive IAMS and bowls of sugar! SUGAR! Right there next to the hill! We couldn't believe it! Such a concentration of food in such close proximity! Immediately we set to bringing it into the nest.
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
We even brougnt out the banners of eye-catching, colorful cloth were tied up in various locations around the perimeter of the parking lot for the purpose of raising money for the annual sack race.
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
"MO---om! Mom! Help me!" He was dangling from a precarious precipice with a scant hand hold. There wasn't much time to waste. They were going to be late! How could she get her toddler to hurry?
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
So I grabbed the can of gasoline, pulled out a book of matches, and debated whether to vote for George Bush or John Kerry. she said, "You can take that and stick it where's there no tomorrow! Yeah, and there's no beans about it. That stuff has no life left. It needs to go to the auto dealership, because if I'm going to be able to park my car in this clean and roomy garage, I'm going to want it to be a new one!"
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
We even tried to quiet our breathing, fast and loud from our sprint. We pressed our backs against the wall, trying to hide in the shadow of the titanic Doom-Bot, which Dr.
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
Next on the agenda was the Annual Potholder Fair, held every year, where the parents had a potholder-making contest, the winner being presented a trio of woven friendship bracelets. What somebody would want with that cheap prize, I don't know. What do they think? That we're all a bunch of slack-jawed faggots.
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
it's Nutrasweet! I've got aspartame posioning!" He started to spin drunkenly, crying "My head! but we grabbed him and wanted to turn him inside out, if you know what I mean. But we controlled ourselves and decided to give him the riot act. He was behaving like a crazy judge out to block anyone and everyone from winning a blue ribbon, much less the coveted county prize: the purple ribbon.
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
It was going to be a very big news day! Hurricane Bonnie had wiped out all of the office staff. Without meeting the deadlines on the paperwork, dozens of suspects would go free! Frantically, the police captain called a temp agency.
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
And the fudge sundae cart behind that. Get ready to mash those soybeans and mold the tofu into shapes resembling flowers. Admittedly, that artistic effort, combined with the variety of color in the salad made it extraordinarily beautiful.
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
When the alarm sounded, the inspector pulled aside a tall glass of iced tea! plate of tamales, burritos, and enchiladas! The only thing this dish is missing is my face.
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
Then, the dancers to the sides move toward the center, and the dancers in the center move you must do a somersault, ending in a backflip, and still have enough energy left to do four running leaps diagonally across the dance floor.
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
Then we could more safely find our way there. So many dangers beset us, we scarcely conceived of ever making it through the maze alive. Giant scorpions, venomous snakes and worse hounded our every step.
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
I told him! he waved me away as he threw his creaky voice back over his shoulder. "The next one will." With that, he picked up a huge axe and smashed it into the table!
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
I hear they pay for their orders with bags of gold dust! Who knows? We might even end up with hemmorhoids so bad we won't even be able to sit down.
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
I'm nervous about this, you know. The fact that I'm addicted to placebos doesn't make it any easier. I'd give them up, but it wouldn't make any difference.
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
L'il Abner (who wasn't very little) was always hungry. He said, "I want some more buttermilk from that churn! And I want some homemade butter and strawberry jelly to put on my overalls."
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
I said. "It's so humid and hot here. I'm so sweaty." Everyone agreed and started looking around. "Look at all these fossilized bones. I wonder how old they really are. Would they be as old as me?" She shook her head, and replied "I imagine these dinosaurs are at least 100 years old.
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
Blam! Blam!) Oops, that was Roger and June's night light! Oh well, moving right along, discarding a few weeds here, a few dead leaves there, soon your garden will look like crap.
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
So he started singing: "Zippidy doo-dah, zippidy-ey, my o' my what a wonderful day just the kind of day for a hot rod race on the open road. Start your engines!"
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
You need to figure out the answer yourself; so go to the library, and look for a book about Sun Tzu, author of The Art of War. He'll know what to do." We rampaged through the tattered remains of library for an hour, and finally found her yak! "There you are!" She called. "I've been looking all over for you!"
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
"Why, I oughta punch your red diaper doper baby lights out! You flamin' liberal French sissy. Go back into your cave and drink your cafe au lait. Next time I see you I will give you $20, but only if you can seat us in a better part of the restaurant.
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
And sure enough there was a Taco Bell right inside the store! So Xander hurried over there and ordered a big Mac with cheese and extra ketchup and Great Biggie Fries. cried Ethan. "Xander, you already have two, and I have only one!
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
The Galactic Fart: with this fart, it seems like farts are stinky all the time. I don't know why I have to smell them when I'm in the same room with one. Why do you fart, anyway?
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
Maybe then you can a member of this man's army." Seargeant Furlman was intimidating enough even without his gigantic handlebar mustache, but the fact that he would twirl the ends of it when he was mad at us always gave us a warning that bad things were coming.
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
"This isn't right!" I exclaimed. "Pops doesn't sell chicken nuggets! Do we, guys?" He chuckled as he called over his shoulder to the crew. They all laughed nervously because they knew where this was headed. It was headed straight for the Health Department.
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
Some were nibbling jelly doughnuts and drinking coffee; some perusing the Wall Street Journal, and some were just livid that tuition had gone up again. They were hopping and down, yelling " FIRE! FIRE! Get out of the building!
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
One can never be too careful. For example, if you are going to take a ride in a car, you should always wear your mouse fur coat. 300 mice died to provide you with that stylishly avant-garde attire, and don't let them forget it.
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
I asked. "That was quite a steep waterslide! I don't think I want to go down that again! It scared me too much and when I got to the bottom, I hit a Honda Civic! But since I was in a Hummer, i just kind of rolled over him and kept on going." "That's terrible, who would have thought ice cream could melt so fast!
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
And this chair. And that's ALL I NEED. And this dead battery. And this rock. And this lawn chair. And that's ALL I NEED!" People began to stare at him because he had a pale green luminescence about him. He looked down at his hands.
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
I yelled. "It's just a joke!" But it didn't matter. Everyone brought their posters for the big Super Readout Day. And they set up a display on the lawn outside the library. But the weather report was not so good, so when they looked up into the sky they saw not only the police helicopters arriving in the distance as reinforcements, but also the vultures had already started circling.
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
YOu're an idiot. Let me out of here! I want to go get a massage now. I feel tense. There's nothing like a good dose of Ex-lax to loosen you up. Yeah, just go sit on the pot and relax.
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
Let you know how it feels. And so it was time to clean that greasy, baconbit-encrusted grill. First off, turn it on low, then squirt it with liquified meat product.
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
Boy, were they needing some more M&M's on top. And melted marshmallows. And chocolate sprinkles on top of that. "Hey," Betty called from inside, "Are those hot dogs ready yet?"
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
The power that enables the ULTIMATE NINJA to unleash hundreds if not thousands of punches and kicks upon any who opposed him. He spent the rest of his days travelling from town to town, teaching any who would listen, when he wasn't busy flipping out. It is the power of the universe! The power that enables the ULTIMATE NINJA to unleash hundreds if not thousands of punches and kicks upon any who opposed him.
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
I would never want cream or sugar in my coffee. I want it black, black, black with extra coffee. Now, I also want all your money. I mean ALL of it. Hand it over or I will give you a million dollars in exchange for leaving the country and never mentioning this again!"
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
Who would have believed that we, untrained as astronauts, could really take a trip to the hobby store, to see what the biggest rocket motor available was. Unfortunately, they were disappointed to find no atmosphere!
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
Lady Man was known through the olde towne as a ravishing womanizer, and had gotten in trouble with one too many gladiators who had come from Rome to the countryside of England to train.
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
The judge escaped deep scratches by hiding under his desk. Miss Na Tasha was into heavy spitting, and Barrister had to resort to using a bowl of Grape-Nuts for a litterbox. Next, he pled for mercy before the court. Desperate he spoke directly to the jury, and he said with tearful eyes, "
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
Class is now in session, I'm gonna try 'n' reach ya. After the rap was over, Greg stood up and shouted, "There will be no discussion!" Invigored with his courage, again he shouted, " and pounded his shoe on the table for effect.
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
We're doomed. As a result, they gave permission to build on the site of the historic battlefield never realizing that an apocolyptic tidal wave was only a few miles away and coming fast.
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
So near, in fact, he nervously checked his ticket stub to make sure he wasn't late for the previews. he wasn't. In fact, he still had enough time to play another game of Warlords Battlecry.