Betty's Turn-Down Game

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Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
And when I finally checked the calendar, I realized our next house is going to need multiple fireplaces, because that last winter was a doozy!
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
Get those steaks ready!! He was always generous with sprinkling the garlic salt, but he was very careful with the bottle of 1931 Sauvignon Blanc from France.
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
Some distance away, a browsing elk suddenly lifted his head. Tensed, he listened and his eyes sparked. He recognized that sound. Infuriated, he snorted, and the breath was visible in the cold air. The hills echoed with his bellow of rage, and remnants of soft verses of Psalmic peace.
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
By that point I could have eaten a proper meal, but I couldn't be picky; I was starving! I scarfed down three of them before I remembered that I was deathly allergic to peanuts.
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
That's why Master Windu got disarmed. Dang Sith. Dang them straight to heck. But anyway, that's okay because we'll fry it later. So, as for sides, we wanted Greg's famous Sweet Potato Casserole, Bonnie's famous Homemade Stuffing, and most of all, Xander's famous bread!
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
motion across his neck. Unfortunately, he didn't understand that you're supposed to take a deep breath first. So when he tried to gather up the magnolia leaves, the tree started rustling,he looked up and an avalanche of leaves came tumbling down!
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
Yes my cousin and I painted it blue inside! There used to be an old Sears & Roebuck Catalog to use for wiping but we had advanced to real rolling toilet paper...Yay! Sitting there on the two-holed set was very relaxing and in the distance we could hear the rumbling of thousands of troll feet as they stampede toward us.
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
They got to work straightaway, searching for the lost key. If only they could find it they would be able to rescue the kangeroos trapped in the ancient ice house. We knew they were getting colder and colder all the time, and with the power out, we couldn't use the microwave to heat them up again.
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
I would certainly expect it to be much better. After all, you get what you pay for." She shook her head and said, "That's not always did the cat treats work. Sometimes I had to open a can of sardines! I pulled back the lid and the smell was questionable, like peanut butter mixed with half and half and a dollop of warm heavy cream.
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
And when they got there they found lots of fancy chocolate truffles." True to his word, he pulled a variety of gourmet chocolates from his pocket and unwrapped one, eating it in a single bite.
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
With each note I could include a handmade gift tag to indicate who it's from-and-to, but instead I'd really rather use this stick of dynamite! I found in on sale at the Farmer's Daughter market where you can find fresh eggs, potatoes, homemade soap, and bunches of bananas!
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
With that, everyone looked around to be sure nobody was watching when they dumped their camping garbage into the fast flowing river.
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
What a strange taste, like nothing we had ever had before. And the texture was very light, like gossamer.
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
!! I think the best remedy would be to spray a powerful broad spectrum commercial mold remover and disinfectant.
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
How fun! And you definitely need some actual sunglasses if you're going to have an outside job in the summer, as well as a hat, sunscreen, and obviously you also need to have the emergency number nearby in case of a drunk late night customer.
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
Even worse, deflated balloons were starting to droop into it, getting sticky, like ponderous, buoyant doughnuts glazing themselves. In planning for the Kidz Festival, it looks like we overestimated the resilience of grass. Sure, it can be tough, but once the chainsaw got involved, there was great danger!
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
All those Body Guards! All those TV Crews! How could they all possibly fit in the cabinet under Boppy's sink?
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
If you need ANYthing, just ask me, and I will refer you to my friend: Chuck Norris." He tapped his conductor's rod on the podium, and then, when he was sure he had their attention, he said, "I am the Big Cheese around here.
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
"How strange," I exclaimed, as I tried to climb over the fence, but scintillating disco balls blinded me and I couldn't continue!
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
Letting yourself just enjoy all the simple things is life are so valuable. And isn't that part of the fabric of life?
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
Appetizers get people in the mood of a party! Other good ideas include Burger King, Wendy's, and Hardee's, if you get tired of having pizza all the time.
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
foam fingers and their goofy hats with the springy antennas. politicians, but true to form, they proceeded to just laugh and point and not help at all. Not only were the kids running around like crazy, the adults were really getting hungry and with the hunger came grumpiness. but then I realized he was listening to praise music on his earbuds and singing along.
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
she declared. So everyone worked together to assemble them. Using ribbon and shrink wrap, I wrapped up all the junk I had found into neat little parcels and then advertised them on Ebay as "Mystery Gifts".
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
came over and saw the title, He exclaimed, " There's literally a party going on in the hall outside my door!" He hadn't even realized it, though, because he had not taken a shower in so long! Oh well, at least the green bar of soap was not down to a sliver yet, and the roommate had brought his own pile of funky smelling shoes.
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
he said as we sped toward the marina. When we got there, a huge fog bank rolled in, and it looked really scary, so we waited until the sun went down. Then it was cooler because we switched the fan to counter-clockwise, and that made us feel sleepy.
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
The result is a very useful mulch. Put all of it in the back of the truck and take it to the dump! And while you are there, make sure you pick up some latticework or fishing line because as the vine grows, it wraps around everything in its path and starts choking the other plants when then in desperation they start to prune it, they don't know such actions are misguided.
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
When I took them out of the washer, they were all the color of a cloudy winter sky. Now, the only solution would be to tie-dye everything ! So I went shopping and bought 5 boxes of dye. The 5 colors I picked were black, navy blue, charcoal gray, gray, and maroon.
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
I said, "I could sell this for $50,000 and send Ethan to William and Mary Law School! Even Donald Trump would want to own this... I will call him right away and say." 3 large pizzas with pepperoni, red peppers, mushrooms, and plenty of carrots and pieces of coal to make the snowmen's faces.
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
We were greatly anticipating Bonnie's annual January visit! So besides vacuuming the whole house, we also decided to rearrange the chess pieces while she's not looking.
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
Now what?! I gingerly circumnavigated the sharp rocks and came upon an enormous double cheeseburger. It must have weighed two pounds. It almost covered the plate!
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
Let's celebrate our resoluting by going out to eat!! I think we should go to the Yoga studio and sign up for some classes. That should really help because my nose would not stop running.
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
Click clack click clack. The sound was like a cash register that would not stop....I had blown my budget big time and now I for sure must make a decision. But that's so difficult to do when your eyes are so blurry after cataract surgery!
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
Drivers yelling, managers yelling, the crowd yelling, everywhere there was space to put a composter!
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
Working at NASA means I can afford to get deli bologna instead of the pre-packaged variety. The other stuff is OK, but it fit right in the charming neighborhood. The street was not too busy, except around lunchtime when my stomach was really growling and my co-workers I am sure could hear the embarrassing sounds of grinding gears.
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
Also Roger Young seemed to be moving our boundary line in his favor. To counter that, Cliff decided to shred them. "You can't ever have too much butternut squash, because we want to make soup with it !Bowls and bowls of soup seasoned with sprinkles of rosemary.
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
Considering all the work that had gone into it, everyone was really surprised that Aussie rock had made it into the mainstream in the States.
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
I was satisfied with that, so then I sprayed the tomatoes with a solution to kill the blight.
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
You'll have to rely on supplements or special blended shakes fortified with lead?!?!? Seriously, lead?!?!? Who puts that in a box of chocolate covered cherries. I picked one out and looked closely and crawling out of it, I saw a grayish-white shadow.
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
Clearly it's time to fill your pot with dirt and of course water it. Why then would you not want that? Obviously, life would be easier with a million bucks. So I started taking classes on business at the local community college. I also took my time thinking up a good password. too smart for me"
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
Well I will show you! I will give you a big fat wallet full of money if you will go over there and smack that bully. We are all getting tired of this continual harassment. And make sure you tell him to bring exact change. When you're buying tickets for entertainment purposes, it's best if you just ignore this storyline because it does not have one.
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
Give me a break! Isn't real life reality enough? Instead they should think how they would feel in that situation. Only then can a person really have the courage to stand up before an audience and give a rallying speech. Make sure you have good posture and have a glass of water hidden under the blankets.
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
Unperturbed, I instead presented him with the business end of my shovel, and I washed the dirt off with a scrubbrush and hot soapy water. Afterwards, I took some oil and rubbed it on my arms to keep away the mosquitoes.
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
Mmmmmmmm! So good! Mmmmm. Mmmmmm gooood!!!! Sweat trickled down his leg and got on the beam, and when he took his next step, he closed his eyes and took the first bite.
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
I nudged up against one, and it started to move toward a shady spot under a rock.
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
It was so hot! It made me want to go to San Antonio, Texas to visit Bonnie, Chad, Xander, Ethan, and their dog named all the cats in the neighborhood: "Stinky", "Spazzy", "Sissy McWeepington", "Sir Pukesalot", etc.
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
Well, she knew she never wanted the children to go hungry, so if anyone forgot his or her snack, I would gladly give him or her part of my granola bar.
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
I cackled as I popped the champagne bottle to test it. The cork went flying through the air and landed in the punch bowl! "Quick! Get that out of there before it explodes!
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
My job sucks! I could scarcely do worse!" So the next morning try again. Every new day is a new chance to redeem all your failures of last year simply by giving yourself room to dream of the possibilities. Sometimes all it takes is a little gutsy resolve! So anyone can decide tomorrow will be a new day and when you wake up, the first thing you should do is get an accountability partner.
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
I think we deserve it ! Sit back, relax, and take a big sample of that egg nog !! I think we deserve it ! Now you are all set for a very Merry Christmas! Sit back, relax, and take a big sample of that egg nog !! I think we deserve it ! Arrange them in a semi-circle under the Christmas tree, but make sure they are not near any pets.
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
But the plumber was allergic to walnuts! He went into anaphylactic shock and died. Oh well, more brownies for us.
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
He checked his INVENTORY. It held a Book, a Knife, a...shoot! He dropped his torch and it sputtered, going out in moments. He was left in utter darkness and promptly eaten by a grue.
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
Down on my hands and knees searching for them I found instead two strange-looking rocks. I could tell they weren't from here, they looked like they were from another planet!!
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
I was the admiral of the first fleet to set off into the universe's darkest corners, and as the one in charge, I needed to handpick my coworkers. They needed to be brave, intuitive, and ambitious! So I picked these three people: Gandhi, Einstein, and Owen Wilson. I figured that third choice made perfect sense because he had just eaten a loaf of bread the size of his head.
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
"How could you think we would need this much sun tan lotion?!! We have only so many square inches of skin! Plus during the heat of the day we will be under the gun to finish all fun and games we'd been planning on having a big family picnic; so we called everyone and asked them each to bring a basket of posies, so we could dance around them and sing morbid songs about the bubonic plague.
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
And I am sure they would all bring their own beer. Last time we had an all-night video game marathon, the beer alone cost me all the money I made mowing lawns all summer!
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
they were yelling. "Union forever!" I was appalled and could not watch a minute more; in fact, I just stood up and shouted, " Kill it, kill it, KILL IT!!!!!" I was beginning to freak out a little because it was quite large, ugly AND smelly! There was no way to get out!
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
It looked like a convoy of Army vehicles. Humvees, trucks, tanks on trailers, and even a snail could have gone around the block faster than that turtle which was stampeding through peanut butter.
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
A nice, hot cup of tea, flavored with garlic. I thought, "That doesn't sound good for breakfast." For breakfast I would rather have one bar of dark chocolate than ten bars of "The Star-Spangled Banner". Taking a deep breath, I pulled in my stomach, stood on my tip toes and dived into the warm swaying sandworms that erupted from the dunes of Arrakis.
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
Good hygiene is always optional when skydiving. It's not like anyone can smell you at 10,000 feet! But by the time you finish your last task, you have run out of time and lost all your money causing you to giggle with delight.
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
The secret to winning the eating contest is, before the start bell sounds, separate out all the smallest lambs to put into the new Minecraft corral handily built by none other than Jack!
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
Unfazed, I looked down at my watch, and realized it was time for buying a new gas-guzzling SUV. We went to the dealership, looked into the showroom, and we saw a brand spanking new Interstellar G9X Ion-Charged Singularity Accelerator.
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
A better strategy is just to start fresh! Get organized! Go for gold! With a GQ (genetic quotient) this high, Jerome Morrow was never meant to be one step down on the podium.
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
Would any stores be open? I opened the phone book to look for Christmas presents. she exclaimed, "It's not even Thanksgiving yet, and already you're behind schedule!"
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
So of course I chose to close the lab for good. Surely there must be a better profession for me, like the job I just saw advertized in the classified: "Private lab time needed immediately for sensitive experiments. Highest compensation offered.
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
Before anyone would take any of the glistening, tempting flutes, I barked, "NO. That's not champagne. It's actually going to be a Midnight Madness Sale and we will certainly be going to it and after that we want to get a bite to eat at the newly opened wormhole in the fabric of space!"
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
No one wants to clean up smelly piles of rags soaked in gasoline, which I used to have as a collection when I went to college.
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
You see them on TV coming out in the dark of night searching for brains to eat. When you see them coming you must floor it! "Eat my dust, turkeys!" I yelled out the window as the car shot out of the stocking which was hanging on the mantle.
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
I don't have any room left for you." The zombie lumbered off and I knew I had to beef up my defenses in a big way. So I added a whole line of new models of subcompacts.
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
And the first thing to do is play a few missions in City Of Heroes just to get your blood flowing.
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory!" It was then we realized our next stop had to be a chinese restaurant. because big drops of sweat were pouring down my face. It was just so hot that I had to grab the hat and hurl it into a guy's open car window as I shot past him on the interstate.
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
Within moments they were fast asleep, and I was able to turn flips so fast that we could not keep our eyes focused; nor could we show our face in Chuck E.
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
Will it hurt?!! Could it possibly lead to early development of cataracts? I need to know because who wants to be blind for the rest of his life?!!" I decided to get a second opinion. The new doctor examined me, and with a big smile on his face, said to me, " Boy are you in luck! Just today we got a whole shipment of dynamic proportions."
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
When the other trolls saw this, they immediately knelt down and revived their health.
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
I could hardly wait to get home to play it! I got home, opened the box, and inside I saw a giant strawberry!
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
Away with you! They were 30 feet tall, 2 feet wide, and frankly they stink and I don't want them in my garden anymore.
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
I was way too busy to mess with them. that every day I need to load Oblivion and do some more killin'.
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
Too bad I didn't know that I was in the company of a red diaper doper baby who believed in God, who was the only one who could save him now! He tried pumping the brakes again to see if they really could go 120 mph. Well you'll never know unless you try! So they fastened their seatbelts, turned to each other and grinned and then they gasped in shock at the number of bugs that had shuffled off this mortal coil on their teeth.
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
What I want is for all this bleeding to stop!" I've lived a long, full life and don't have any regrets. What I want is for all this bleeding to stop!" Watch me make this incision, and I don't want anybody to cry when I'm gone.
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
Go away! I can't concentrate." Finally, they all fell on the floor laughing their heads off. The hilarity continued until who would walk through the door but Mr.
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
And with that, he made a U-turn and proceeded back down the road and bumped into a steel spike that protruded from a pile of obliterated concrete. Fortunately, I was wearing my Kevlar vest and it bounced off! It left a mighty bruise, though, and hurt like crazy, so I let out a yell that sounded like a pickup truck, headed straight for me!
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
This will surely impress them! They'll be so impressed they will spew! Just kidding, of course, but who knows, you may end up in Swaziland, in a dark jungle, surrounded by insipid but angry Frenchmen frothing epithets at us proudly patriotic Americans. Shocked, he picked his beret out of the muddy gutter, shook it off and put it on his resume.
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
They were givin away a big pink inflatable heart for Valentine's Day, which was just around the corner, and there it was: a brand new Hobby Shop stocked with every kind of Christmas light you could imagine! What we really hoped for was the grand prize offered by the local newspaper for "Best Illumination".
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
Luckily, they had heard this brainteazor before, (or hopefully one of them was a good gueszor). "We accept your challenge!" He shouted, " You're no match for our shoulder-mounted quantum rocket launchers!" Without further ado or hesitation, he pulled out his Equalizor, opening very carefully the hatch, and peering in; there seemed to be a strange odor drifting out.
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
Nonchalantly, they looked around for the nearest restroom, not wanting to look in dire need, even though they certainly felt satisfied!
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
We sped along the unfamiliar tanks from the Russian military came rolling down the highway, the asphault crumbling under their heavy wheels! I sure didn't want to end up there! The driver was chatting incessantly and I was sure she wasn't the real tour guide.
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
And those oh-so-happy elves, always poking at the customers and asking us, " Where, oh where, are you tonight?
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
Well, think again!! The employee's eyes bugged out and he screamed "I want a refill! NOW!!!" But he didn't understand that we never clean off the tables unless the manager yells at us; which he usually does every hour: He yells, " Orrrder uuuuuup!" To which the manager, confused, replies, "
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
If there are any chocolate creme ones, those are mine. Or coconut. Now, the only thing left to do is pick up all the pumpkins, and give them to eat whatever was left and that would be, of course, at least a dozen doughnuts! If there are any chocolate creme ones, those are mine.
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
= Waa waa waa waa I'm all out of cough syrup!!!!!!!! You can't be sewious! Back to the Battle!!!!! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Back to the basics of the hip-hop scene, just a loop, and some lyrics, and a mic, you know what I mean?
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
In less than one minute we would look out the window and see whether we can make the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs. It's very hard to do. But you would know that being the seasoned astronaut that you are.
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
I breezed through the first half, and then my heart sank as the teacher chided loudly, "NO, NO, NO...you're doing it wrong!" Well, let's just say I was completely mortified and felt a burning desire to shove the monitor off the table and just leave.
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
Break this one open and you will see why you should never cook with Spam on television." (laugh track) "To start with, crack these eggs, whip them up, and blend them into your stock pot.
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
To do this, you just need a lot of patience. One day at a time, we worked at moving the vast quantities of toddler turds out of the house. We used snow shovels most of the time, but sometimes we used cloth diapers when we ran out of all the clean air in the house was being gradually contaminated by the encroaching fog of green stench.
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
They were running dune buggies up there! When they saw it, they finally understood.
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
Squish. We immediately had a flat tire! And I know it was because we ran over a speed bump that was so big, the front end of the car shot into the air! We were leaning back like astronauts! As if on cue, the voice of Jackie Gleason could be heard exclaiming, "You're going too fast!"
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
So it would be better to replace the little Honda engine that sounds like a lawnmower with a Chevy big block, which was just delivered by Jeff Gordon himself!
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
In fact, everything we bought cost a dollar! Then we realized we were in a progessive town because our hotel room had "hot water on demand": to conserve the water that normally runs down the sink while you're waiting for it to get hot, there were small water heaters installed right next to the toilet was a strange-looking water saving device.
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
It's good to keep track of the total number of inches lost around the waist.
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
We had the yard sale near an active volcano and called it a firesale. So when we advertised it, we exaggerated a little bit to get more people to show up. It really worked, because when we woke up and looked out the window, we saw at least 100 people waiting for us to start setting up!
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
OH NO! We would look out to the horizon and see all our parachutes flying out the window!
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
Am I a Dork! Can you tell that I am a MENSA member? My IQ is higher than my weight." "Oh really? she said with a wink. Great googlely-mooglely...that was just about the nicest thing anyone had ever said!
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
But when I got there, the doctor said "Ma'am, I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but that's not how you're supposed to wear the hospital gown." Well, I didn't see what the big deal was. After all, I was healthy as a horse! Why, just the other day I thought I felt a lump there, so it's a relief to find out that the rash would only last for a few more weeks and would clear up once I started eating more liver and spinach, as prescribed by the doctor.
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
Like Confucious say, "Cat never full." That's why you have to have a wide base, or else a strong foundation, if you're going to make it that tall.
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
First I assembled the tools and instructions, and then I took a dare and tasted the wallpaper paste. my mouth tasted like wallpaper paste.
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
Come on, we're almost finished! Just a few more nails into the roof shingles and we will be sure to use the right tool this time. As we've found out, it's well worth the expense in order to avoid the old nests of mice and rats between the walls, we decided to install a urinal in every bathroom!
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
I said 'NO, you can't touch my eyeball! Get out of my office, you'll never be in the Space Marines!' Then I hung up and dialed the sheriff and asked him to come right away. Before I knew it, what should pull up in my driveway?!
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
And that's exactly what I did, much to the surprise and shock of the pilot, the rudders were stuck, and the plane was started to pitch sideways! There was only one thing to do: activate the afterburners! Yeee-haw! As pure jet fuel sprayed into the turbine combustion chambers, their heads snapped back as the pilot yelled, "yeeee-oouch!...that's gonna hurt in the morning".
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
I asked for extra cheese, Cause let me tell you, I'm not in it for the pepperoni, man!
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
Great. Take them out and smile with satisfaction at that golden-brown glazed finish! Next, add 12 ounces of diced beef. For this I prefer to use a non-stick pan, as opposed to a stick pan. I'll hold these two examples up so you can see the difference.
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
But how can you tell someone that? How can you tell someone that their grace under pressure is so inspiring to you, it makes you want to be a better person? Uncomfortable at best, and at worst, my underwear felt 2 sizes too small. I could never go through the whole day like this! So I headed for the rodeo.
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
It's amazing that so many people are delighted to spend so much money for something so simple! What gives? Obviously some of the rest of us are entitled to a piece of the action. So here's the plan: Rent a storefront, buy some coffee beans, and to grind them, buy a big muffin.
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
"They really ought to do something about that!" He shouted with ire, " Swab the deck, you landlubber. You will earn your keep on my ship. Now bring me a mug of cold frosty beer! Wow, would that hit the spot!" He grinned with satisfaction at the thought of running up to that hoity-toity aristocrat woman and bumping her right into the pool.
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
That's when I realized: it was a giant bidet! But to use a bidet this large, someone would have to have a butt the size of a pouf chair which happened to be covered with at least an inch of freeze-dried shrimp had rained down onto the roadway.
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
"Out with the bad (dirt), in with the good (smell)!" She shouted, to no one in particular. Next, she declared she would eat more chocolate than ever before.
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
All part of a balanced beam that came crashing through the front door. Lieutenant Leotard and his gymnastic Cadre of Doom were attacking the Mars Landing Base.
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four. He said to watch out for Doctor Doom! His latest information reported that there was a severe shortage of toilet paper. Now what? There was only one solution: activate the fleet of snowmobiles!
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
We were almost there when great hailstones began falling from the sky. Why they were huge! They were as big as beanbag chairs!
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
I just kept buying and buying! There was so much to choose from, she let her stomach do the talking so she picked the one with chocolate sprinkles. Then she got a large mocha latte and headed for the checkout counter, loaded with gift selections.
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
Taking a deep breath, Jacqueline stepped over to the male model and adjusted his collar. Nice! But still, she really did want to do modeling herself. Sigh. I guess for now, it was all just a fantasy! She paused for a final jelly doughnut before entering the inner sanctum of the plush office where dozens of models were milling around, considering who would look best in which outfit.
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
You wouldn't want to come back to a place with such rotten food. Chicken and prunes! Yuk! I would rather have a deadly attack robot! It would have to be at least 8 feet tall and 4 feet wide.
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
Yummy! They are still good after all these years! Give one to the director. Here, put this one in his pocket!"
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
I'm going to climb up to the top shelf and get one myself! With that, I checked that no one was looking and threw my M&M's wrapper into the display toilet.
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
Your other alternative is to eat yogurt 3 times a day. To add to the great nutritional value of the yogurt, you can add chopped tuna. That will add good protein without making you feel overfull. Eat quickly, and that saltine cracker will be gone before you know it.
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
No worries about putting a hot dish on that! As for a hard, scratch-resistant cutting surface, I chose muraled tempered glass. It was beautiful! Shining through from underneath were rows and rows of seats for the home theater.
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
Running as fast as he could, he yelled over his shoulder, "I've had enough of this!" Even louder, he screamed, " GET LOSE!! YOU CANNOT COMPARE WITH MY POWERS!!" As powerful as he was, he couldn't resist by Cloud of Ten Lightning Fists. "For great justice!" I cried, and "All your base are belong to us!"
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
but he pledged allegiance to communism. Then John Edwards told him, "It would really be to your advantage to settle on one candidate, especially the one who wanted to lower taxes and advocated more refreshments for the people who went to the trouble to come out to vote!
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
Our day started out great. Before most of us even had a chance to warm up and get going, one of the scouts was back with fantastic news.
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
Those girls are wearing bikinis! Go back! Go back!!" and waved the water hose in a circle over his head, splashing water on everyone nearby, including customers, classmates, and the whole board of supervisors joined in to hold hands, circle around, and sang Ring Around the Rosy.
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
Disgusted and demoralized, I bent to clean it up. The broken nose was so out of joint that breathing was difficult. Something had to be done! The doctor quickly cleaned the nostrils and inserted a peanut-butter sandwich into the VCR. Then he stuck a fork in an electrical outlet.
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
So I grabbed the can of gasoline, pulled out a book of matches, and debated whether to vote for George Bush or John Kerry. she said, "You can take that and stick it where's there no tomorrow! Yeah, and there's no beans about it.
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
Just then, Doc Samson smashed the ice sculpture into tiny shards, throwing everyone off guard, and one after another they slipped and fell onto the wet sidewalk.
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
"Who, her? She's the Director of Faith-Based Initiatives at D.C.!" she said sweetly. "This PTA is disbanded. All your children will be going to Christian charter schools from now on!" The parents cheered while the teachers groaned. I asked. "Who, her? She's the Director of Faith-Based Initiatives at D.C.!"
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone. As I turned, the figure yelled, "NINJA!" Insane with panic, I grabbed the blue ribbon watermelon and threw it as hard as I could at the red-faced perpetrator.
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
"Are you ," I exclaimed, "or are you not going to ask me to marry you?!" He said that so loudly, I jumped. "Are you ," I exclaimed, "or are you not going to ask me to marry you?!"
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
Why didn't anybody else want any greasy meat?! What those vegans need are some good old pork rinds deep fried in lots of bubbly champagne. See, if you drink enough champagne, you forget you're on this lousy vegetarian diet, and you're free to create stupendous sculptures made from multicolored tofu.
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
I have no idea how to get to the Transportation Museum. I want to see the Pullman cars again and sit on the sofas made from styrofoam and gasoline. Mix it up real good, and boom! You have home-made napalm. I love the smell of cedar.
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
For color consultation you must see an Avon representative, you need some Cellu-scupt to get rid of those unsightly lumps of fat bulging unattractively from various areas in her leotard.
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
It slid between the scales of the Minotaur King's armor and plunged deep into its side. He howled, more in anger than pain for nothing could make a person madder than a knock on the nose.
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
Now, YOU'RE gonna pay!" I quickly moved aside just in time to avoid being trampled by the thundering hooves. As the dust settled and my panic eased, I calmly put my .357 Magnum back in its holster and continued my search for stuffed moose heads to hang on my office wall.
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
It will be so cool to see from above the blackened scars in South America caused by the burning of the rain forests. Then we'll go to the Amazon River and see how much Avon we can sell to the natives.
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
I'm Powers. Detective Max Powers. I'm the man. I'm YOUR man. I can get the job done. You ask me, and I will tell you. Yes, I am the suspect. But I assure you I didn't do it. Please note how cooperative I'm being. Ask me anything.
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
Although they change with the seasons, there are always chores to do inside and out. day. First I started washing the windows. That took a while. To wash them I used cotton balls and baby oil. Everything was working great until the cotton balls started to fall apart and blow away!
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
If we do that we might not survive the night! No. We've got to conserve our ammunition, collect what food we have left, and prepare to broil some tasty dinosaur patties. Yeah, with a bun and onion and Miracle Whip and tomato and a few sliced radishes on the side, we'll have quite a dinner, as obviously there's no shortage of fresh meat around here!"
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
They were everywhere!! So I grabbed a hand hoe and started hacking at it. No interlopers in this garden! You can count on me to take care of all the weeds, because I know what a weed looks like. It looks like a cross between a marigold and a dandelion.
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
I got the hose inserted into the tire and put in 25 pounds of gas! Then he got on the motorcycle, but it wouldn't roll.
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
she said with a resounding contralto. "We have a very serious problem the trucking company just delivered 500 pounds of pork chops to the Jewish banquet hall. There is pandemonium over there, and right now we are in dire need of a plan, a strategy, to bring down the tyrannical International Village, despite our being heavily outmanned and outgunned."
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
As we entered the familiar halls of the Louvre, we picked up a museum map and headed for the location of the Mona Lisa. We found her and as we stood gazing at that famous little smile, a gentleman next to us made this comment about her, "
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
We could invent new ones! And we could sell some of them to the President of the Unites States! He's all about quality, donchew know."
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
The fact is I cannot believe Bonnie started this story! But be that as it may, I will help continue it: And the second fact is that when I was growing up we did not call them farts.
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
We thought that was a strange thing to do, because we had already just finished doing 100 push-ups. Needless to say, we were pretty exhausted, and ready for a break.
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
Crate after crate of chicken nuggets! "This isn't right!" I exclaimed. "Pops doesn't sell chicken nuggets! Do we, guys?" He chuckled as he called over his shoulder to the crew. They all laughed nervously because they knew where this was headed. It was headed straight for the Health Department.
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
You must hurry because there's a bomb threat! Terrorists are threatening to destroy the entire campus!!" I couldn't believe it. All I could do was look around in amazement.
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
And if you let him sweep, then he'll want to shake the rugs outside.
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
Then after that you can find a good place to take a shower! Scrub off the slime and grime of a sweaty, dusty day. There's nothing like freshening up after a long wait in the line for the "Vomitous Maximus Tilt-O-Whirl", we finally got to ride it!
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
It's stuck in some sort of space-time moebius strip, such that no matter how many times we go down it, we'll always end up back in the mine.
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
The professor was from the country of Mexico, from the country of India, from the country of China. "Why does everything have to be ethnic?
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
Why--" And just then the drugs kicked in and then the convulsions started. "Oh, no!" My friends said, "Quickly, turn off the electricity before she's fried!"
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
And so it was time to clean that greasy, baconbit-encrusted grill. First off, turn it on low, then squirt it with liquified meat product. It gives it that meat-like flavor, and don't forget the starch spray for the fries.
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
And this was the photo they were going to publish in the newspaper next to her recipe for Banana Upside-Down Chocolate Chip Brownies with walnuts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
Well he would just have to use his fisticuff expertise. He stood his ground and watched the arch enemy spin and shrivel, whirling ever faster, ever smaller, energy bursts zinging out into the air until all the life force and all the mass had moved to the back of his neck.
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
And the name of it was "Ackerson Savings & Loans & Stuff". It had been in business for 20 years, but it had to be demolished to make way for a Stop-n-Go.
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
Sam pulled a lever, and a deadly missile fell out! Where did that come from?! Is it programmed for a target?! Oh no! It is headed for a crash! Unable to steer, her frustration at the malfunction gave way to panic as the obstacle loomed ahead, a giant miasmic mix of sulfuric and methane gases, swirling, boiling, reaching out for the next great leader in the cataclysmic battle for galactic supremacy.
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
No more slogging away in the hot wheat fields for me! Now I must needs go don my chain mail so patiently chained for me by Lady Man. Lady Man was known through the olde towne as a ravishing womanizer, and had gotten in trouble with one too many gladiators who had come from Rome to the countryside of England to train.
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
Tomorrow is a new day and you can renew your magazine subscriptions over the phone, but only if you act now!"
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
The similarity was remarkable! The eyes, the nose, even the way he parted his hair. He waved at him, and yelled, "Where did you graduate from? Podunk U.?!! Your degree must have been written with invisible ink!" He started to sit down, but then yelled again, " but still no luck. reply.
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
Considering his cache of armor, he chose a shield, a big one, because his heart was gripped with fear that he would become dragon food: flame-broiled, crispy baby back ribs smothered in a tempting and tasty blanket of spicy hot peppers and smothered in cheese!
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
Greg nodded slowly and deliberately as he reached for the Ovaltine. When he opened the cabinet, Lo, and behold, he found his missing bottle of pills.