Betty's Turn-Down Game

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Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
Woofles and Pooched Egg'! what say you?" I leaned back in my chair and considered the question I had posed to myself. Was I even hungry? And was breakfast the appropriate meal for this time? I looked at the clock, and suddenly realized! It's summer! That must explain why we always want to have a picnic with friends and family.
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
But there truly was a big sigh of relief followed by the idea of shoring up the outer wall with bits of furniture and old crates.
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
He had an entourage of elves all singing "Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus!!" Much to my surprise, he was driving a golf cart outfitted with giant boom boxes. Everyone slapped their hands over their ears, and when he got close to them, they froze in shock, speechless with awe.
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
That took quite some time, but fortunately, they at least had an overstock of those little peanut snack bags to hand out to everyone. By that point I could have eaten a proper meal, but I couldn't be picky; I was starving! I scarfed down three of them before I remembered that I was deathly allergic to peanuts.
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
How did that get there? Who walked the dogs last?? Don't they realize the dishwasher is broken and look at all these dirty dishes! Plus I have a bandaged hand because I cut myself with a rusty barbecue smoker borrowed from a neighbor. It would take at least 16 hours to lambaste the turkey....
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
The plume of smoke and flame launched itself into the atmosphere, spreading across the globe. At first, we were horrified. Surely, the fish would either stop swelling or explode! It was a fearsome moment indeed!
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
water balloons from the dollar store, $128.45 for costumes from "Who Do You Wanna Be?" $59.90 for scratch -n- sniff masks and rubber lizards from "Fun & Games That Are Cool Not Lame".
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
Fortunately, Shawn had an idea: Let's put a Slip 'n' Slide in the back yard and have fun, fun, fun! After we install in and hook up the water hose to it, all we have to do then is round the Kiwis up into one place, and nuke them. As usual, it was the simplest solution which made the most sense.
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
I said, "This one costs twice as much. I would certainly expect it to be much better. After all, you get what you pay for." She shook her head and said, "That's not always did the cat treats work. Sometimes I had to open a can of sardines! I pulled back the lid and the smell was questionable, like peanut butter mixed with half and half and a dollop of warm heavy cream.
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
Louis to their destination. And when they got there they found lots of fancy chocolate truffles."
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
In the garage? Ah, man.. I will just go buy some new paper at the local Christmas wrap store. They had every kind you could think of, but I was really drawn to the sparkly tissue wrapping paper! That and the snowflake ribbons reminded me of when I met the real Santa years ago.
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
This was the moment of truth. This was the moment the past several weeks had been building up to. woods or open fields? I had to take a break and drink some ice cold Mountain Dew and eat a bite of pecan praline nougat covered in sticky napalm, which I made by dissolving Styrofoam in gasoline.
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
Let's call up a Harvard professor and ask him if he knows why the room is glowing orange. He'll probably say, "You dunderhead!
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
Exasperated, I loaded my shotgun. No more screwing around. Sometimes, only brute force can solve a problem. Locked and loaded, I peeked out the cat door to see what all the commotion was about....
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
And I could become friends with all the nice men in the cute orange jumpsuits who were already out there in the wild blue yonder. Anyway I also thought Bill Miller's Barbecue might be a good place to work. Certainly the smells there would be delightful! Wow!
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
Eventually we ran out of mushroom booze. Granted, the stuff makes you hallucinate, but it tastes like liquid gold. I couldn't imagine walking one more mile without at least a gallon of the stuff on hand, so I started scrounging around for old rags to wipe up the spilled lemonade and the big pool of melted popsicles.
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
So be very, very careful never to leave a trail of crumbs to your bedside! Nor should you neglect to shine a flashlight into all the dark corners. A clean, clear smell of fresh mouse urine....ahhhh!
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
There, I was greeted by a flock of trained roadrunners! As a group, they ran ahead to lead me, looking behind every so often to be sure no roadrunners were following us. Next time I would bring some birdseed and scatter.
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
So bright I had to shield my eyes with my hands and with a soft folded napkin lovingly wrapped around, I placed the tombstone behind the fresh grave, as requested.
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
Imagine our surprise when we looked out the window and we saw snowflakes floating down from the sky. Some were clumped together, big and heavy, falling faster, so it seemed like they could probably walk down to the river if they put on heavy boots and around their necks they could wrap at least two hands around it!
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
I am sure Donald Trump himself would order at least five! Then arrange them attractively around the orange pools of grease that the pepperoni left behind.
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
The word of the Lord came to Jonah: "Go to Nineveh and preach against political correctness and with great vigor. We are sick and tired of it. I put it into the same category as washing the dog: every day is overkill, but waiting a month is too long."
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
Using ribbon and shrink wrap, I wrapped up all the junk I had found into neat little parcels and then advertised them on Ebay as "Mystery Gifts".
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
Where was that coming from? !!Xander opened his closet door and found 4 little flowerpots! Choosing his favorite one, he popped it into the microwave for 3 minutes, and when he took it out, it looked like a true man cave!
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
Or as big as they were before they let all the water out of the pool, they decided to wash the dog, so they soaped him up and then poured over him a bucket of chum in the backseat."
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
In fact, the bark is so smooth, yet at the same time it is also dying! That's the second stump vine to die this season. I had no idea it would handle the change in climate so poorly, from indoors moving to Alaska was going to be monumental!
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
It's almost like flushing a commode on a windy day! Hey! Would that really matter?? Yeah, probably would matter as much as Hillary Clinton is able to tell the truth.
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
it was actually mighty spicy!! However, I must add more hot if I'm going to have a snowball fight, I need to build a fort! And I will build it out of lots of catnip and wine.
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
So besides vacuuming the whole house, we also decided to rearrange the chess pieces while she's not looking.
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
Twenty feet below, I could see the dim sparkle of my diamond watch which had slipped off my wrist. Now what?! I gingerly circumnavigated the sharp rocks and came upon an enormous double cheeseburger. It must have weighed two pounds. It almost covered the plate!
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
I said, with enthusiasm, " Let's celebrate our resoluting by going out to eat!! I think we should go to the Yoga studio and sign up for some classes. That should really help because my nose would not stop running.
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
Aha! I started avidly looking for it, and found it just where I had hidden it: inside a box. And that box was hidden inside the computer tower! What a great hiding place!
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
so we decided to get a second composter. We started by putting in kitchen scraps. Over time, the bugs, the beetles, and the worms digested the compost, and quietly turned it into rich soil.
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
The odor of it all made me swell with joy. Smiling, eyes closed, I took a little taste....yum...How delightful.
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
So take a deep breath and enjoy the wonderful fall smell of burning leaves and the aromatic essence of powdered Dramamine, which helped keep my lunch down as the plane bounced and quivered its way to jump altitude.
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
More like Taitboys. Or DC Talk Redux." He switched to listening to Peter Furler Band instead and went to put some more shrimp on the barbie, then played footy with his mates until they got attacked by a pack of rabid dingoes.
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
Angry and frustrated, I threw it into a tub of warm soapy water hoping I could soak out the blood. When I looked into the tub a few minutes later, much to my amazement I saw the tomato vine growing taller & taller right before my eyes!
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
Who puts that in a box of chocolate covered cherries. I picked one out and looked closely and crawling out of it, I saw a grayish-white shadow.
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
Who knows when another hurricane will come through or maybe an ice storm? Because if that happened we would all have to go back to writing cards and letters. How different that was!
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
Wheeee we said as we sailed down the waterslide straight into a big pool of water mixed with just enough corn starch to Eat.
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
A better course of action would be to slap him in the face!
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
It was on sale !!When I checked out I had bought so many bags, the total number came to 21. Three rows of seven each. That arrangement is perfect for the high school piano recital. We had been practicing for weeks, and had finally Kissed the day goodbye with a drop to the pillow.
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
I put it all into one big gigantic bowl. I had to have plenty of room to make the icing made with butter and powdered sugar.
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
Red clothes will set it off so, be sure to take the time to look around and enjoy the scenery. You will see gigantic rocks like you have never seen before! I nudged up against one, and it started to move toward a shady spot under a rock.
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
I got so sleepy that I put my head on the edge of the elevator shaft. It's hazardous to do that because the TSA might take you aside and frisk you! After I walked through the metal detector, I heard someone say, "
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
First, you have to be sure the correct worksheets are in each cubby hole with the kid's name labeled above. I reached into the back of one of the cubby holes and found a mistake!" Well, she knew she never wanted the children to go hungry, so if anyone forgot his or her snack, I would gladly give him or her part of my granola bar.
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
"Quick! Get that out of there before it explodes! We can't have a big mess all over the place when our company arrives!" We are expecting at least 10,000 pounds of bacon being consumed at the synagogue open house. That's why we need to get a case of Champagne. When the crowd gets here, each person will be handed a bottle and with it they will proceed to decorate the room by sprinkling it everywhere: the carpet, the tables, the chairs were all covered with cat hair!
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
It's that time again: Get out a fresh, clean sheet of paper and a pen! Put some thought into all the good deeds you would like to do in the coming year.For instance if your neighbor needed his garbage taken to the dump, You could take it to the printer's and have it bound.
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
I think we deserve it ! Sit back, relax, and take a big sample of that egg nog !! I think we deserve it ! Now you are all set for a very Merry Christmas!
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
Where is that awful stink coming from?? My nose led me to the conclusion that we should call a plumber.
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
Let's get going! First I will check them by plugging them into the nearest electrical outlet. It's a trick to get the lights lined up just right, but when you do, the results are two thumbs with far too many blisters, and a back with far too acute an angle.
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
We needed a room freshener bad !! So I sprayed the room with a can of Whoop-Ass! When everyone saw me opening it, they knew they were in dire straits when they entered the cave and deep within they saw a tumor! "That thing is enormous!" The doctor yelled. "We have to operate now! There's no time to climb down!
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
How did you get here? I bet you traveled on a expired visa! Bad boy! Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? I'm talking about the ICE, of course, and they don't have space suits safe enough to last over 6 months on Mars.
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
That will prevent water loss through evaporation. That will mean fewer times you have to refill the pitcher at your lemonade stand.
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
How it had gotten in there. Poop. I wondered how it had gotten in there. How it had gotten in there I'll never know. Anyone with half a brain should know better than to listen to loud rap music while playing such an intense video game! Why if I had not been concentrating, my handsome hero would surely have fallen into debt.
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
But it was so loud, we couldn't hear the movie! "HEY!! SHUT THAT OFF!" I yelled. Then some other people also stood up, put their hands over their hearts, and with great gusto, they sang "
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
Don't you know I can punch you in your face! Take that! I ran away cackling like a slowly creeping snail and everywhere it went it gathered oodles of poodles and strudels with noodles.
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
The heat that radiated from their cavernous maws surged over us like a hurricane of pain. We had to seek shelter fast or we would be doomed for sure. Nearby there was a lurking police car. People should know better than to cook a bowl of noodles for lunch in the middle of defeating the giant cave troll, I found I needed quickly to scrub that off before it stained.
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
In the whole milk there is a lot of algae growing there." Maybe the best thing to do is to load Minecraft and build a house out of solid gold blocks. you can afford it!
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
HAHAHA!! There may be more to eat than even all the king's men can handle. We'll have to get the horses in on it too. They will no doubt go to the beach on the next sunny day and find oodles of candy to give to all the party guests! Soon everyone will be able to fetch a pail of water better than that clumsy doofus, Jack.
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
Do they want to get punched? Do they want me bring the thunder? Do they want clean air or warm houses? They cannot have both !! In fact, over their noses they may have to wear tinfoil hats to protect them from the mind-reading satellites used by an ancient civilization to battle aliens.
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
It was the last cake in the entire world of the once-fabled Hostess cake company.
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
We don't have time to cook it in the oven!!" He replied, "It would cost a bazillion dollars to cater Thanksgiving dinner to the whole town!
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
Then you will probably start to feel hungry enough to make yourself a big bowl of hot shut the hell up. When I heard that City of Heroes was in danger of shutting down, I got so mad that I slammed the door; the shock rattled the shelf and down to the floor fell a beaker full of precious golden rings.
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
The darkness was so complete it was like a solid thing--a suffocating blanket of oblivion that clung to our faces and enveloped us in its lifeless embrace. After 30 seconds (which seems like an eternity, given that we could still hear it breathing), we finally found our car in the parking lot after looking for 2 hours !!
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
I had dozens of them, piled everywhere! They smelled like rotting potatoes. It was horrible. I tried to scoop them up with a long-handled metal scythe that we got from Reapers 'R' Us. when you used it. The neighbors saw us, and said "You are so dumb. Don't you know how to do anything?!!
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
If you want to have a proper Tennessee smooth-sippin' holiday that's the only way." "NO WAY!" I retorted. "I don't want the malls to close until midnight! Because then I will have time to start shopping for Groundhog Day!!!!!!!!!!" If you make one false move, I will take care of you by spiking the Christmas punch bowl with Jack Daniels!
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
They were now known to be in cahoots with the left wing red diaper doper babies. we are doomed...... But by that point there must have been at least 1,000 zombies!
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
Then, we passed our box of clutter in a circle like Musical Chairs, and whoever ended up with the box, then that person had to chase the Fly Lady all over the room with a butterfly net. Unfortunately she could not bear to get rid of anything after all the decluttering, so she proceeded systematically to attack the zombies!
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
Utterly freaked out, he slammed on the brakes just in time to avoid hitting the big brown and white brownie sundae with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles.
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
When we were finished we must have totaled at least 1000 kills in the 3 hours we spend running through the sewers.
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
Will it hurt?!! Could it possibly lead to early development of cataracts? I need to know because who wants to be blind for the rest of his life?!!" I decided to get a second opinion. The new doctor examined me, and with a big smile on his face, said to me, " Boy are you in luck! Just today we got a whole shipment of dynamic proportions."
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
But he wouldn't be staying there for long. With a single punch, Abiathar managed to finish his mission and start a new one, which was to rescue a mad scientist and kill all the lights before he made his big debut.
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
The music started, and then slowly emerging onto the screen was a giant box! I knew it was full of video games which I had ordered.
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
My chrysanthemums were only slightly singed. Relieved, I filled in the big hole dug by the groundhog, and on top of that dirt I put a big flat tire in the middle of the garden, because I didn't have anywhere else to put it.
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
Not only would games run faster, but I could never banish the cats from the tech room even though they often wreak havoc with the local radio stations. Melodic crooning by the likes of Barry Manilow were interrupted by a big knock-down, drag-out cat fight. Wow, the fur did fly!
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
Re! A golden drop of perspiration gently made a rivulet down my forehead and off the tip of my spoiler! That's how slippery this car is. It moves through air like a hot knife through butter.
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
He hadn't made a payment in almost three months, and he was sure he would need at least a hundred stitches!
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
Rogers Windows! Did you know that poor-quality windows could cost you a bundle in heating bills? That's why I always read the Dilbert cartoon as soon as I get to work.
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
big scratchy boils on the back on my neck. I needed to see a doctor about that. So I took my cell phone and quickly dialed for help. I was in desperate straits! As soon as possible, I needed to go really bad! I could the pressure building in my lower abdomen.
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
That's why one time I was talking to Dr. Stephen Hawking and he said "Isn't that something! Isn't that something! We started laughing hilariously and we had to enunciate to be understood.
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
Just like the song goes: "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer... Take one down, and pass it around, ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer! Where are they coming from?? They must be coming from Mars! We're being invaded on Christmas!"
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
"We accept your challenge!" He shouted, " You're no match for our shoulder-mounted quantum rocket launchers!" Without further ado or hesitation, he pulled out his Equalizor, opening very carefully the hatch, and peering in; there seemed to be a strange odor drifting out. In fact, it actually smelled like fertilizor!
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
That restless sound soon reached the top balcony, where our VIP seats were. We could see the entire auditorium from here, as well as mink coats, diamond tiaras, and fancy tuxedos trimmed with mistletoe and holly.
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
I realized that whichever one of us was driving would really have to pay attention, knowing that they were about to be invaded by Germany again! Already, I could hear the sound of heavy traffic.
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
What else could happen?!! Right away we started looking for a ribbon to put on the ribbon and I was good to go! The only thing that was still bugging me was what to get for the person on my list that was the hardest to buy for: my loud and noxious neighbor.
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
Bill exclaimed. the customer replied smugly. "It's legal tender. See? It says right here: "This product may contain peanuts and for those persons with allergies, it may cause severe difficulty in operating a vehicle or other heavy equipment!"
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
Cackling evilly, I carved scary faces into all the pumpkins in the patch! Then all the seeds and pulp I threw into the back of my Dodge Ram pickup truck.
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
Back to the basics of the hip-hop scene, just a loop, and some lyrics, and a mic, you know what I mean? "Well, not exactly..." I said. "I don't have any idea what you are talking about. There's no title, no subject...How would I begin to know what you mean? I think you should take a break now in order to crush those who oppose us."
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
We landed on the dark side of the moon and off in the distance we could hear weird music, so we decided to go to light speed! What! No light speed???
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
I breezed through the first half, and then my heart sank as the teacher chided loudly, "NO, NO, NO...you're doing it wrong!"
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
You should decorate it with a little truffle trifle." "Eww!" I exclaimed. "Truffles smell like sweaty gym socks.
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
What were you thinking to feed the twins stewed prunes?? You know eating prunes will always cause them to cooperate because they want to buy combat boots in order to have enough traction to navigate the poop-slimed floor.
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
When I go out to check the nests I might be surprised to find my neighbors have switched from listening to rap music to classic. The scintillating tones of Mozart, Bach, and Beethoven drifted with all their smokey offensive odor toward my patio!
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
The car was packed to the gills with all sorts of gear for the trip: camera, food, maps, you name it. But I still had the feeling I wasn't in Kansas anymore...Maybe it was the mountains that painted the horizon or simply the fact that there wasn't a corn field in sight.
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
You have to be able to think on your feet! Look at what's at stake, for crying out loud! People's lives are at stake! If you blow a tire and hit the fence, you know what could happen: spontaneous decapitation. So it would be better to replace the little Honda engine that sounds like a lawnmower with a Chevy big block, which was just delivered by Jeff Gordon himself!
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
Actually it sounded like a pretty good idea. So I went ahead and drank my own urine, since that was the only way to survive.
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
And when you look into the mirror, you will be surprised to see a box of doughnuts on the counter! It's your reward for your great progress. Now go ahead and make my day! Shoot me with your water gun that I know is really filled with great tips on maintaining your new weight.
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
It really worked, because when we woke up and looked out the window, we saw at least 100 people waiting for us to start setting up!
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
That's why you have to stir it it up, and the explosion was so BIG that I had to dive under a cloud was his nemesis, in a sneaky holding pattern. As soon as he saw him, he recognized him from his old high school days! Imagine seeing him again, here, after all these years! It sure is a small fire button!
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
Well, after hearing that, I was ready to sharpen all my pencils, and I discovered I need to go buy a new pocketsize spiral notebook and a black power cable.
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
Why, just the other day I thought I felt a lump there, so it's a relief to find out that the rash would only last for a few more weeks and would clear up once I started eating more liver and spinach, as prescribed by the doctor.
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
Like Confucious say, "Cat never full." That's why you have to have a wide base, or else a strong foundation, if you're going to make it that tall. So to save floor space, you could try cement ing your mouth shut and let me do the thinking, OK?
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
They wear out or break even before you've finished one project! It pays to set aside enough time to complete the job; otherwise, you are left with wallpaper paraphernalia strewn across the house for the next four months.
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
Just a few more nails into the roof shingles and we will be sure to use the right tool this time. As we've found out, it's well worth the expense in order to avoid the old nests of mice and rats between the walls, we decided to install a urinal in every bathroom!
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
the driver said. "Hop in and tell me where you want to go. I am your free taxi service today! But if you feel you must, you can just give me a chance! I'll be the best Space Marine you've ever seen, I promise!
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
It's important for you to remember that each passenger stepped carefully over the puddles of puke and gladly walked down the metal stairway into the fresh air of Tarmac City, U.S.A.
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
And they may not reveal this preference to their friends, but instead privately enjoy this secret pleasure. Others glory in it, and freely share their personal joys. For example, while having fries at the fast food restaurant, I might lean over to my friend and share this insight about myself: "I'm not in it for the fries, I'm in it for the KETCHUP!"
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
Will your viewing audience please stop throwing food and sit down! This is not a middle school cafeteria! Look what just landed on the counter! It's a big glop of pork brains!
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
Why would anyone want to eat eel? It is just gross to think about: Imagine those slimy, writhing creatures on a plate of lead-free pewter. We're going for a minimalist look here: clean lines, neutral colors. So what do you think?" I looked around before answering, noticing some men standing outside the window.
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
I wish they would go work at becoming more efficient at the cash register!" He, with furrowed brow, and she, petulant, continued to argue over which was the best sweetener.
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
"That's amazing!" He said. "Where did they get those 1000 hp hydrofoil motors? How fast can this thing go?" Stunned, I replied "But it was right here!
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
His nemesis, Professor Poopypants, won a blue ribbon at the county fair for producing the longest poop--a record hard to beat.
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
Look at all those spots closer to the door!" He was irritated. Calmly, she answered, "I'm thinking if we ate nothing but lettuce and skim milk for a month we may look good for the St.
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
But it was the dishes, falling on the kitchen floor because the kids were up on the counter trying to get their own breakfast! The rockets landed with a great sound like a car crash!
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
I'm an agent. A secret agent. A spy, to be precise. My headquarters is Spy Base Alpha, and from here we have access to all communications satellites, private and government-owned foreign and domestic. Over here, we don't need money; we trade and barter for everything.
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
Surprised, I realized it must be in Texas, not Kansas after all. How did I get here? It's so hot and the heat makes me feel like dancing!
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
An hour later my receipt showed up in my e-mail. And with that, I got out a notepad and pencil, and started planning for NEXT Christmas! I need to, umm, get some stuff." An hour later my receipt showed up in my e-mail. And with that, I got out a notepad and pencil, and started planning for NEXT Christmas!
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
we'll be able to afford all the makeup we will ever need. And big mirrors too. When we look into the mirrors, we want to see a little more attitude. Show me that anorexic girl who came in a while ago.
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
Ever get that vague feeling that something's missing? What is it? Right now I'm thinking it's a good night's sleep! If I could just get that, everything else would fall into place. Other times, who knows?
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
"How did this get in here?" I exclaimed. "The sites contaminated, and we ourselves slowly dying from some unknown ancient curse, it was only a matter of time before we and all our work disintegrated back into ancient history.
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
Actually, you may need TWO carts! In fact, you may find that the selection of 2x4s has way too many knots in it.
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
Now you may eat one Goldfish cracker. Next, eat some ice cream. This should remind you of the pleasure of eating. anymore! Or in the children's section! You can finally eat whatever you please, whenever you please, even if it means you see the number on the scale go up one!
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
After that I had forgotten my problems and was ready to mix the cement. We needed a large wheel barrow and plenty of buckets of cement. "Hey, take those back down! You don't build a roof with wheels of gouda cheese! Are you insane?" "Well, at least I didn't try to dig a basement.
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
Countering the attack with another new move, the hovering spinning high kick, he propelled his opponent across the room flew a whirling bat ninja right at me.
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
I had found this out by trying to push down ALL the little red levers. The volunteer outside the curtain heard all the mechanical sounds and mumbling, and called out to him, "It doesn't work like that! You IDIOT! Where is your voting card? And don't come in here sniveling like the loser Democrat that you are.
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
What a wimp. Barrister has no use for such "jewelry". Maybe he should just walk over and slap around the intruder!
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
and waved the water hose in a circle over his head, splashing water on everyone nearby, including customers, classmates, and the whole board of supervisors joined in to hold hands, circle around, and sang Ring Around the Rosy.
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
After you do that, you should pull the emergency rip cord, hoping against hope that you won't end up splattered on the floor. Disgusted and demoralized, I bent to clean it up. The broken nose was so out of joint that breathing was difficult.
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
That's right! It looks like plastic poop; you know that artificial dog poop that you fool people with? Never mind scoop it up and throw it into the dumpster parked on the side of the house.
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
We pressed our backs against the wall, trying to hide in the shadow of the titanic Doom-Bot, which Dr. Nefarious had unleashed upon the unsuspecting city.
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
The parents cheered while the teachers groaned. All your children will be going to Christian charter schools from now on!" The parents cheered while the teachers groaned. "This PTA is disbanded. All your children will be going to Christian charter schools from now on!" The parents cheered while the teachers groaned.
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
I surely would like a taste of that there apple pie! I know it will be a blue ribbon winner.
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
He yelled "Stop the presses! Stop the presses!!" The editor asked, "What's the matter?"
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
It was clear she wasn't going to eat hers either, so he reached over and grabbed the salad dressing, saying, "If I'm going to eat nothing but salad for lunch, I'm going to need more salt and pepper.
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
With that, I began devouring the comestibles with great vigor. "Gross is right, if you're going to put salsa on your breakfast burrito, the eggs should not be runny!
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
We lowered the volume just in time before the other dancer jumps over you. The idea is to create the picture of water with the water birds in it. So the next move is a demi plie; just swirl around and fluidly reach for your toes and come back up to face the audience.
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
Our quest to find the Minotaur King began uneventfully. We travelled several miles into the desert the first night, and found a cool oasis of palm trees and the sweet sound from a spring of bubbling hot water, perfect for relaxing after a workout.
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
My favorite food! and there they are! Waiting for us....all squeaky clean and shining with colorful beads! It was just what I was looking for! It was so beautiful I couldn't take my eyes off it!
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
My frantic struggling to stop the flow gave way to resignation that I would have to find another job to earn ticket fare back home.
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
You'll won't do me in with that heater!" He grabbed it and they wrestled around the foyer, until the judge bangs his gavel, and yells, "Order in the Court!" When he finally found the cash register, he looked at it and exclaimed, " You'll won't do me in with that heater!" He grabbed it and they wrestled around the foyer, until the judge bangs his gavel, and yells, "Order in the Court!"
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
Then we realized it was just Sid fartin'. He does that whenever the pigs and hogs won't share their slop.
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
That's when we heard it: birdlike calls, a sound like distant rumbling thunder, and the snapping, cracking sound of large trees falling. We didn't know what it was and adrenalin surged as we all jumped to our feet.
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
Blam!) Oops, that was Roger and June's night light! Oh well, moving right along, discarding a few weeds here, a few dead leaves there, soon your garden will look like crap.
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
He filled up his gas tank and kept going. And then, birds landed on him! So he started singing: "Zippidy doo-dah, zippidy-ey, my o' my what a wonderful day just the kind of day for a hot rod race on the open road. Start your engines!" But all of a sudden there was a big pop, a spluttering, and the sound of an army of motorcycle with the mufflers removed.
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
She worked quickly to mix up the scones for the Scottish bakerycafe. The dining room was filling up fast, and when she looked in the refrigerator she was dismayed to find they had run out of air tanks.
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
Paris was never known for good manners. All the Parisians are very aloof, treating anyone with a different accent as scum.
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
Let's go find an ice cream freezer in this place, and look in it to see if we can find some quarters so we can play a few final video games before we have to go."
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
Now that's what I call skilled. they're actually farting in harmony! Now that's what I call skilled. When they heard us say that, they immediately began farting in unison. they're actually farting in harmony! Now that's what I call skilled. You are a sissy!" When they heard us say that, they immediately began farting in unison.
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
Everyone was totally exhausted and very irritable. Why one day in the mess hall, we had a terrible food fight when everyone was throwing fits about the insufficient supplies. "How do they expect us to eat this mess?! No wonder they call it the Mess Hall! Hey, let's ask the sargeant if we can get pizza delivered!
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
"Pops doesn't sell chicken nuggets! Do we, guys?" He chuckled as he called over his shoulder to the crew. They all laughed nervously because they knew where this was headed. It was headed straight for the Health Department. Yeah, those guys will come and they will get out their blue pencils, and pretty soon this whole place will be condemned and turned into a new sewage treatment plant!
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
Lying down, I could see into a dark basement room. Grates in the walls below admitted narrow beams of sunlight. I could see that there were old professors lying around everywhere. Some were nibbling jelly doughnuts and drinking coffee; some perusing the Wall Street Journal, and some were just livid that tuition had gone up again.
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
But the mice hate it. The mice also hate it when their fur is rubbed the wrong way. Fortunately for them few creatures including humans ever get the chance to do this.
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
They all wondered. Mystified, they cautiously approached the abandoned roller coaster. "Hey, let's get one of the cars, push it to the top and jump in and see how far we can go!" So they laboriously pushed and pushed, and when they got to the top they saw what was causing the tornado: the villanous Sky Master!!
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
We trapped, a hundred feet underground in a mine that was used for blowing big holes into the cave walls. There was a whole box of dynamite that someone had left behind. Hey maybe this will work out after all! So he took one stick, and he cut it into one inch pieces and used them to start a fire.
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
We all looked at each other and silently agreed to lie down and take a nap in the shade of the old oak tree. It's our only chance!" We all looked at each other and silently agreed to lie down and take a nap in the shade of the old oak tree.
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
You are so getting on my nerves! I think you should focus on your breathing.
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
I get to spread big slabs of lard on the grill, before I start frying the sausage. All the customers just love the big hot greasy patties served with generous chunks of meat. What kind of meat? No one knew! It was stored in the ice cabinet marked "meat", right next to the fry basket in hot oil!
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
I said, "Hot dogs? I thought we we were having T-bone steaks! What a bummer. You know hot dogs give me terrible indigestion, and not only that, they also give me a set of free ginseng knives, you know, the kind you use for energy-supporting herbs.
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
With that, he jumped into the air doing a phoenix burning somersault, and launched himself into a flying killer leap, landing on his arch enemy and completely smashing his record for number of enemies smashed with a single swing of his Bayou Croc Crescent Kick.
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
Unless they're going down. In which case, he proceeded to sweep up all the ticker tape from the Exchange floor. But he decided he needed help, so he asked a group of socialist insurgents to stop making so much racket and go buy them lunch.
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
the officer replied, "It's the illegal immigrants, the aliens, we give them to. They bathe in artificial dihydrogen monoxide which was produced in a laboratory manned by hyper-intelligent mice.
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
The king looked down at him and replied," and then threw back his own with peals of diabolical laughter. Thus began the century-long "Reign of Terror." I will eat at your feet for the rest of my days!" The king looked down at him and replied,"
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
Next, he pled for mercy before the court. Desperate he spoke directly to the jury, and he said with tearful eyes, " I really, really, really want to watch a kids' show! PLEASE!" his mom said, "your screen time is all used up for today.
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
This could only mean one thing, the subjects for the theses were all wrong! Gromit, they are all wrong! What will the students do now? They must reevaluate and find a better deal on a used car.
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
She stored them in the back pocket of her blue jeans. She also had a holster for a Colt .45, which she kept cleverly hidden under her jacket.
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
The sky turned white with all the exhaust plumes from the nuclear-armed missiles, and soon they found the hidden treasure! Now they would all be rich! They could buy whatever they wanted! They would never be poor again! And the first thing they decided to buy was a life insurance policy, because they knew they would not live forever.