Betty's Turn-Down Game

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Story ID	Title	Creator	Status	Num Entries	Date Finished
174	Springtime in Virginia	betty	Done	22	12/27/2022
Now I have to wait 23 1/2 hours to get to see the moonflower bloom! Until then, well, who knows?
173	Daylight Saving Time !	betty	Done	23	4/21/2021
But that's fine; ain't no thing but a chicken wing. So we can just go ahead and fry the hamburgers right over this nice fire. They will taste delicious, so go get the tomatoes, lettuce, onion, pickles, and jar of eyeballs.
172	A Winter Day in the Wilderness	bonnie	Done	22	2/15/2021
He had an entourage of elves all singing "Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus!!"
171	Oh, the weather outside is frightful...	betty	Done	22	12/31/2020
we were getting so dizzy, and as a last resort we tried crawling on our hands and knees.
170	The McAvoys' Big Turkey Dinner!	betty	Done	23	1/13/2020
So, as for sides, we wanted Greg's famous Sweet Potato Casserole, Bonnie's famous Homemade Stuffing, and most of all, Xander's famous bread!
169	A Breath of Fresh Air	bonnie	Done	22	11/15/2019
They immediately began playing their trademark heavy metal rock music. But it was all Mannheim Steamroller covers, so we didn't mind.
168	Toiling at 3 a.m.	betty	Done	22	10/13/2019
Those were the ones I trolled the most. And one time this guy said to me, " Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?" I was so frustrated because it seemed like I had been so close to finishing!
167	The Reckoning of the Kiwis	xander	Done	22	7/28/2019
This was it, the invasion had begun. Fresh-faced cadets leapt into gun emplacements and cockpits, scarcely believing they were actually going to see combat.
166	Somebody's Gotta Do It !	betty	Done	22	7/8/2019
Well, I'm glad that's done. All that litter scattered everywhere! What messy cats. First I get a shower then wipe down the cats, and as for VoilaLeiya...
165	I love Thunderstorms !	betty	Done	21	6/10/2019
It's so soothing to listen to the thunder rolling while reading a book about the Oregon Trail. It took 5 grueling months to go from St. Louis to their destination. And when they got there they found lots of fancy chocolate truffles."
164	Wrapping those Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	23	1/9/2019
Where was my Christmas wrapping paper?? In the attic? In the garage? Ah, man.. I will just go buy some new paper at the local Christmas wrap store. They had every kind you could think of, but I was really drawn to the sparkly tissue wrapping paper!
163	Let's Set Fire to the Woods	xander	Done	21	12/7/2018
I can bring roast beef sandwiches, and you can bring a few bottles of beer! You can bring a few bottles! Take one out, pass it around, 98 bottles of fire propellant, obviously. You might be wondering why I would think of such a thing!
162	Some Kind of Adventure	xander	Done	23	9/10/2018
But first, I needed to build a safety net! I bought a whole bunch of ropes at Ace Hardware and carefully wove them into a really strong basket we could use to swing ourselves across the chasm.
161	That Garage !	betty	Done	22	8/9/2018
All those bank statements, etc., you don't want people to know your every little insecurity!" Well, when somebody puts it like that, it makes perfect sense. From that point on, I knew I had to block the back door fast because water was truly running down the hill and quickly coming into the living room where we were playing a board game.
160	I need a Summer Job ! What should it be ?	betty	Done	24	8/3/2018
I've tried to explain to them that this is my floor and I'd really appreciate if they stopped crapping on it, but it's like talking to a more experienced person. I thought it was pretty good advice to weigh the option of working in an air-conditioned environment, considering how hot the dishwashing water had to be; what would that be doing to the rats in the sewers?
159	A large, healthy tuft of stump grass	bonnie	Done	22	7/18/2018
Even worse, deflated balloons were starting to droop into it, getting sticky, like ponderous, buoyant doughnuts glazing themselves.
158	Cleaning up after Milo the Mouse	betty	Done	21	7/11/2018
"There's one way," Greg said as he walked in with crowbar the size of his arm. "Stand back!" But Boppy exclaimed, "I can't kill it if I've named it!"
157	Taking a Walking Tour of the UTSA Campus	betty	Done	22	7/6/2017
He was going to teach them a new school anthem. He tapped his conductor's rod on the podium, and then, when he was sure he had their attention, he said, "I am the Big Cheese around here.
156	San Antonio Vacation	greg	Done	22	5/27/2017
I knew it was just the thing for her to clean out the garage! An arduous task, but wonderful temperature outside which caused her to go into convulsions. A woman nearby noticed immediately, and exclaimed, "I'm an EMT!
155	Will That Snow Ever Melt? !	betty	Done	21	2/5/2017
It reminds of all the times that I ever wanted more in my whole life. Surely someone would figure out that what I really wanted was a simple joy. And isn't that part of the fabric of life? Letting yourself just enjoy all the simple things is life are so valuable.
154	Different Pizza Toppings	greg	Done	21	1/11/2017
We just need to pay more attention to the-- Sometimes I get bored of using the same pizza toppings every time.
153	But I don't want to!	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2016
but then I realized he was listening to praise music on his earbuds and singing along. Pulling one of them loose, I yelled, " BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!!" No one could argue with that. They all leaned way back in their easy chairs and took a nap!
152	We Need More Enthusiasm !	betty	Done	22	10/16/2016
That's okay, though, because it wouldn't last very long. Each group had to write an essay explaining the best way for the REST of the groups to be enthusiastic.
151	Xander's New Dorm Room	bonnie	Done	21	9/9/2016
Welcome to Engineering Country!Now proceed into the Student Center where you will be issued a tote bag full of water guns. The pool party should be fun!" Of course there will be a need for towels to wipe up the floor after the shaving cream fight!
150	Trying to Keep Cool !	betty	Done	22	8/20/2016
The holes were obviously caused by a hailstorm. Serendipity! We collected the balls of ice and used them to rub the backs of the necks of the people who had passed out from the heat. As each one of them came back to consciousness, They said, " Excuse me, could we please get ten pounds of Reese's Peanut Butter Cup!"
149	The Stump Vine	bonnie	Done	21	4/26/2016
When they get here, we will make our favorite hamburger strogonoff using ground up stumps.
148	Laundry	colleen	Done	20	4/2/2016
One big one should be all I need. More than that would mean I would have to spend the next 3 hours sorting it! Ain't nobody got time for that! My mind started going through all the things I could be doing instead: playing Minecraft, watching Youtube videos, I could even see the stains had all but disappeared!
147	It's snowing!!!	colleen	Done	29	2/22/2016
The last time they did that, they got incinerated by the laser turrets on Greg's base!! He's such a meanie! He's a gigantic snowman reclining in a lawn chair.
145	Bonnie is Coming for a Visit !!	betty	Done	21	2/5/2016
We were greatly anticipating Bonnie's annual January visit! So besides vacuuming the whole house, we also decided to rearrange the chess pieces while she's not looking.
144	Heeeelllllloooooo there!!!	colleen	Done	20	1/10/2016
Rearranging the packages I was carrying, put them all off balance and I dropped all of them right into a pool of exceeding clarity. Twenty feet below, I could see the dim sparkle of my diamond watch which had slipped off my wrist.
143	Resolutions for the New Year !	betty	Done	22	1/9/2016
Let's celebrate our resoluting by going out to eat!! I think we should go to the Yoga studio and sign up for some classes. That should really help because my nose would not stop running. How annoying. I needed not only a handkerchief but also a big box of old receipts!"
142	Ordering Online Christmas Presents !	betty	Done	21	12/14/2015
and who would that be? !! That would be SANTA!! The only one who delivers more Christmas presents than UPS! But you know he needs all the help he can get, and you can help by registering all your information on the website, so every time from then on you won't have to type in your office on your clicky-clacky IBM keyboard from 1981.
141	Dual Composters	greg	Done	21	12/13/2015
That's right. It turned over layer by layer as I rotated the barrel. I expected a bad odor, but all I smelled was the thick, sticky smoke from Stevens' smouldering burn pile.
140	Deli Bologna	greg	Done	22	11/28/2015
Aaahhh! and proceeded to have a coughing fit that lasted for approximately 20 seconds. Then everything continued as before, except, curiously, one boy on a skateboard crashed through the Deli's plate glass window and he landed in the bin of expired fruit.
139	Getting Ready for Fall !	betty	Done	21	10/29/2015
Once I was satisfactorily secured, I was ready to gather the black walnuts, so I looked in the garage for a big surprise! We need lots of colorful leaves, and lots of dog poop which was scattered here and there in our ditch.
138	Slatherage	greg	Done	21	9/16/2015
He switched to listening to Peter Furler Band instead and went to put some more shrimp on the barbie, then played footy with his mates until they got attacked by a pack of rabid dingoes. Or DC Talk Redux." He switched to listening to Peter Furler Band instead and went to put some more shrimp on the barbie, then played footy with his mates until they got attacked by a pack of rabid dingoes.
137	Growing Those Tomatoes !	betty	Done	21	8/1/2015
Then I carefully placed them side by side in a plastic tray. I carried it over to the Speights to see what their opinion would be. And Danny exclaimed, " They're HUGE!" Unexpectedly, the plants were hit with a terrible blight which quickly made them perk up.
136	Midnight snack	colleen	Done	21	6/11/2015
Who puts that in a box of chocolate covered cherries. I picked one out and looked closely and crawling out of it, I saw a grayish-white shadow.
135	That New Smart Phone	betty	Done	22	6/10/2015
We had to wait days or weeks for an answer! Now we only have to wait to get the bill. I am on pins and needles. I am sitting on the front porch now watching for the app to close without losing my patience with it. Instead I decided to add a new game app. The name of it was Clash of the Terrible Twos.
134	NOT A REAL STORY! IGNORE THIS	greg	Done	24	6/3/2015
It must have been Mr. Carrington, the newspaper deliveryman! He was known for being obnoxious to the nth degree. Everyone was gathering into little groups to avoid talking to him. Then suddenly he came toward us and said, "I want my two dollars!"
133	Why me!?!!	colleen	Done	23	6/3/2015
I'm tired of people wasting time watching stupid reality shows..
132	Backyard Projects	betty	Done	22	5/28/2015
They had all gathered to dump and spread the compost all over the ground.
131	Cupcakes!	colleen	Done	22	5/26/2015
Then I added multi-colored sprinkles and a few well-placed dabs of icing. Decorating is the part that's the most fun. Be creative! You can use sprinkles, candy, curls of chocolate...even tiny toys or other unusual options such as little Hulk faces made of butter and green-colored strips of bacon, ground-up meatballs, and garnished with chicken wings.
129	Climbing Enchanted Rock	betty	Done	21	5/2/2015
So, I sat down to eat some calories before attempting the climb. Other important preparations include wearing thick socks, sturdy shoes,and drinking bottles and bottles of water. My dearest hope is that everyone will be responsible and keep their hands at the 9 o'clock and 3 o'clock positions on the steering wheel as they are driving their golf balls across the pitted rock dome, the sun started to set, and severe angst caused them to sit and have some pie and cookies.
128	I Need to Take a Trip !	betty	Done	22	4/16/2015
It was obvious the dog was no fan of the cats! But he was a big fan of just taking a nap! But, noooooo oooooooooo. Oooooooooo. They don't accept senior citizens, teenagers, or Discover Card.
127	Bonnie's New Tutoring Job	bonnie	Done	27	4/16/2015
In fact it should take about this long: 15 and a half femtoseconds. You would need a pulsed X-ray laser to measure that time frame!
126	Getting Ready for New Year's Eve	betty	Done	22	2/18/2015
And right on top I would squirt a big dollop of mayonnaise. It's good for you! It's Regular Ordinary Swedish meal time flies when you're having fun!
125	New Year's Resolutions	bonnie	Done	22	12/24/2014
Fields said that!" I exclaimed. "OK, now it's your best hope for improving your life. So what do you want? Do you want to take a trip to some exotic tropical island.
124	Get Those Presents Wrapped !	betty	Done	22	12/24/2014
Presents to sort! The wrapping paper I bought on Dec. 26....where was it??I found all of it in the back of the car. The first step is to acquire the presents. Second, you have to get someone to put their finger in the middle of a bow, so you can pull out just as much as you need.
123	We Need a Plumber !	betty	Done	22	12/12/2014
With all the precautions in place, I threw caution to the wind and went for a spin in my Lamborghini Murcielago. sign because the fuzzy dize were blocking my view, and unfortunately the odor was overpowering. We had to turn on the exhaust fan and spray around the room a big new can of WD-40.
122	Christmas Decorations	bonnie	Done	22	12/12/2014
Full of possibilities for winning the county's "Best Decorated Yard". We had to get to work! I asked Bonnie to go buy lots of candles.
121	I Just Could Not Stop Playing That Video Game !!	betty	Done	21	11/28/2014
I can see how that would help, considering I had lost my contact lenses. Down on my hands and knees searching for them I found instead two strange-looking rocks. I could tell they weren't from here, they looked like they were from another planet!! I stepped cautiously toward them, and suddenly they ran up the incline as fast as they could!
120	The Great Beyond	xander	Done	21	9/21/2014
What lies beyond our Milky Way, in that massive universe? With the advent of SDW (Space and Dimensional Warp) travel, it was now possible to find out.
119	Summer	bonnie	Done	20	9/21/2014
Looking into the distance, I could see the splendor of the rising sun. It was brilliant! So much in fact that I had to cover my eyes with cucumbers slices.
118	Best Video Game of the Year !	betty	Done	22	8/15/2014
During those hot summer days I must have sweated 2 pints of O-positive. I handed them to the nurse, but she shook her head and said, " Oh my!!! What a garbled mess this has become!!!
117	The best movie EVER!!!	colleen	Done	21	7/18/2014
I looked and looked for the EXIT sign, but all I saw was a blur. It never occurred to me to just tell the guy in front of me to turn off his cell phone screen. But when I did, he proceeded to buy advance tickets for EVERY opening show for the next year!!!
116	What I Saw When I Took A Walk II	greg	Done	23	5/28/2014
As I broke into a jog, I peered down into the muddy puddle and spied something moving! It looked like a convoy of Army vehicles. Humvees, trucks, tanks on trailers, and even a snail could have gone around the block faster than that turtle which was stampeding through peanut butter.
115	You know...	bonnie	Done	23	11/10/2013
They were everywhere! They must have gone through 15 boxes of Saltine crackers! After that, all they could think about was getting to Pop's before it closed, so they could each buy a ticket to ride in the new roller coaster, "Maximus Vomitorium", designed by a team of students.
114	Whatever is on your mind !	betty	Done	24	10/27/2013
The remedy for that is to be totally relaxed, have warm socks on your feet, and be ready to tackle the quarterback! Hut one, hut two, there he goes! Quick!! Get on him, before he prepared the meal. Good hygiene is always optional when skydiving.
113	Nursery Rhyme	greg	Done	22	10/24/2013
It only takes a spark to get a fire going so they could have a giant Humpty-Dumpty omlette! HAHAHA!! There may be more to eat than even all the king's men can handle. We'll have to get the horses in on it too. They will no doubt go to the beach on the next sunny day and find oodles of candy to give to all the party guests!
112	Global Warming !	betty	Done	26	8/19/2013
she whined as she tugged her jacket tigher around herself. This crazy weather had been going on for thousands of years.
110	Planning a trip to Texas...or Virginia !	betty	Done	22	4/19/2013
That's why he put all his underwear into zip-lock bags. Nobody wants strangers pawing through his underwear drawer.
109	Thanksgiving	bonnie	Done	19	12/19/2012
And just my luck, I'm right in the middle of a shower! But what if it's important? What if we ran out of food?!! Would any stores be open? I opened the phone book to look for Christmas presents.
108	I Blew Up My Lab!	greg	Done	21	10/26/2012
As I sat in the middle of the smouldering wreckage of my lab, I wept quietly to myself for a long, long time. I couldn't make out the rest of the ad because tears had already begun to dissolve the ink, which ran like charcoal wisps of liquidated dreams down the face of the page.
107	Christmas Shopping III	betty	Done	21	2/11/2012
Believe it or not down the road came a knick-knack, paddywack, give a dog a wrapped-up box of chew bones and when he tears the wrapper off he will bite into a raw onion!
106	Let's Organize Your Garage !	betty	Done	22	7/25/2011
No one wants to clean up smelly piles of rags soaked in gasoline, which I used to have as a collection when I went to college.
105	Christmas Shopping II	greg	Done	21	2/24/2011
You are trying to pay me with counterfeit money! I am calling the cops! If you make one false move, I will take care of you by spiking the Christmas punch bowl with Jack Daniels! If you want to have a proper Tennessee smooth-sippin' holiday that's the only way."
103	Zombie Attack!	greg	Done	22	6/10/2010
I went outside to water my plants, when suddenly I heard the deep guttural voice of a zombie!
102	The Art of Decluttering	betty	Done	21	8/4/2009
But that's OK! As a male, I know how to get things done. And the first thing to do is play a few missions in City Of Heroes just to get your blood flowing.
101	The hathood of the traveling brown hat.	rhonda	Done	21	3/20/2009
Right there in the parking lot! Now we could afford to add several egret feathers and even a boa to the brim of the traveling brown hat.
100	The Nephews come to Visit	greg	Done	22	12/9/2008
I am so hungry I could eat a WHOLE pizza!" Xander exclaimed, " I am so hungry I could eat a WHOLE pizza!"
99	Laser Eye Surgery	greg	Done	20	10/3/2008
Boy are you in luck! Just today we got a whole shipment of dynamic proportions." Later the doctor decided to play some soothing music for his patients.
98	Abiathar the Superhero!	greg	Done	21	4/27/2007
and by then my hand was so sore from playing City of Heroes I had to take a break!
97	My New Video Game!	betty	Done	21	3/13/2007
I'm gonna be rich! Yes, everyone is America is playing my new video game. I'm gonna be rich!
96	Fixing up my Garden	greg	Done	22	1/29/2007
Get out of my flowers!" But they were eating all the leaves off my periwinkles. This calls for action! So I mixed up a poison solution and poured it on the fire to put it out!
95	Rearranging My New Tech Room	betty	Done	22	1/31/2007
she yelled over her armful of wallpaper rolls, paint chips, and fabric squares. "Your color scheme is ALL WRONG!!!!!!" Soon, too soon, I heard steps creeping up the stairs, and into my new tech room burst Martha Stewart!
94	Speeding Down the Highway	betty	Done	21	12/4/2006
he said as he pulled over, he took a big drink of Red Bull, burped, and he loudly exclaimed, "
93	Having Surgery	greg	Done	20	12/1/2006
the spindly, gray-skinned doctor intoned. "I hope you have a good insurance policy, because you are SURELY going to need it!" This bold statement caused a huge increase in his medical malpractice insurance premiums.
92	Accountant at Work	greg	Done	21	4/1/2006
well! I couldn't believe my eyes...it was a stack of money from the IRS, because I had overpaid my taxes not just last year, but the past four years as well!
91	What I Saw When I Took a Walk	betty	Done	21	3/31/2006
I ran toward the van to try and get his autograph, but he growled, "I ain't got time for your jibba-jabba, fool!" And with that, he made a U-turn and proceeded back down the road and bumped into a steel spike that protruded from a pile of obliterated concrete. Fortunately, I was wearing my Kevlar vest and it bounced off!
90	Learning a Foreign Language	greg	Done	22	2/4/2006
Actually it is harder than quantum physics! That's why one time I was talking to Dr. Stephen Hawking and he said "Isn't that something!
89	Putting out Christmas Lights	betty	Done	21	2/3/2006
Could it be? Would I really get to see Santa Claus??? We rushed to the roof and searched for hoofprints in the snow, but all we found were stale, broken gingerbread cookies from last year. What we really hoped for was the grand prize offered by the local newspaper for "Best Illumination".
88	Lazor Beam Hydra	greg	Done	22	12/16/2005
Without further ado or hesitation, he pulled out his Equalizor, opening very carefully the hatch, and peering in; there seemed to be a strange odor drifting out.
87	Concert at Chrysler Hall	betty	Done	21	12/14/2005
and then they weren't sure what to do with the toothpicks. Nonchalantly, they looked around for the nearest restroom, not wanting to look in dire need, even though they certainly felt satisfied! Now all that was left to do was to put a new CD in the stereo that had been playing all the music all along.
86	Touring Europe	bonnie	Done	21	12/13/2005
I will be bold and ask him," Where is the bathroom? Cuz I really gotta go." But to my surprise, he snapped the cork out of the bottle of champagne out poured it on my pancakes. Famished, I dug in with reckless abandon.
85	Christmas Shopping	betty	Done	22	12/1/2005
Where, oh where, are you tonight? Why did you go and leave us alone? We searched the mall index to find a good place to eat, and we found the intriguing listing of "The 12 days of diarrhea. That's the last time I'm ever going to IHOP!" Thoroughly disgusted, we threw up our arms and shouted, "THIS STORE SUCKS!!"
84	Working at McDonald's	greg	Done	21	12/1/2005
NOW!!!" But he didn't understand that we never clean off the tables unless the manager yells at us; which he usually does every hour: He yells, "
83	Trip to the Pumpkin Patch	sherry	Done	22	11/7/2005
Now, the only thing left to do is pick up all the pumpkins, and give them to eat whatever was left and that would be, of course, at least a dozen doughnuts!
82	test2	greg	Done	24	9/16/2015
Here, hold my Silly-Putty(tm) while I give you another test. Sit down quickly and write your name at the top of your game.
81	Going Into Space II	greg	Done	21	10/28/2005
One never knows what will happen if you transpose the warp stream with the antimatter containment field, you will surely lose your breakfast in a hurry, unless you made sure first that you fasten your helmet securely, fasten your oxygen hose, and secure you must be, and I the all-wise one, tell you I will, that you really had better know what you're doing by now!
80	Taking Computer Class	betty	Done	20	10/27/2005
Or Windows 3.1!! Ha ha ha!" We all had a big laugh. But the truth was hard to swallow; in fact I was so overwhelmed, that I had to make the computer do what the teacher wanted it to do! I couldn't believe it!
79	Cooking Show II	greg	Done	21	9/27/2005
Break this one open and you will see why you should never cook with Spam on television." (laugh track) "To start with, crack these eggs, whip them up, and blend them into your stock pot.
78	Potty Training the Twins	betty	Done	21	9/24/2005
If I hurried, I could get to Warehouse Store and buy another 1000 diapers before they go to college!
77	Noisy Neighbors	bonnie	Done	21	9/23/2005
I mean it. They must be major weightlifters because that's exactly what it sounds like: dumbells on the floor next to my barbell and other weight equipment. My workout was over, and now I could hear them again playing their awful rap music. Boy, do I hate it! Every time I hear it, I am ready to go up there and ask them if they could please take off their concrete shoes when they're walking around upstairs!
76	Driving Across Country	betty	Done	22	9/16/2005
Because I say, if you're not going to spend enough money on a motel room, you will end up staying in a dump, probably infested with carpetbaggers.
75	NASCAR Days	greg	Done	21	9/9/2005
That way, in case you roll over you will always land right side up again, which is why you must always make sure your safety harness is correctly fastened. duh...I don't know. It's a terrible thing to lose your train of thought in such an intense environment!
74	Conserving Water	bonnie	Done	22	9/9/2005
You never know until you try! Why don't you turn off the water while you brush your teeth? You don't need to flush the toilet every time you use it. Flush it only when you go number two.
73	The Best Diet Ever!	sherry	Done	21	8/31/2005
Just to be sure I put my glasses on and then I could see my feet! "Hello, toes!
72	What a Yard Sale!	betty	Done	20	8/23/2005
After that they didn't need to mow the lawn! The grass was all mashed down, because all the people had found such great bargains, and were so delighted, they asked us if we would consider administering a state-wide network of yard sales from an executive highrise in Manhattan.
71	Test Pilot	greg	Done	21	8/17/2005
That's why you have to stir it it up, and the explosion was so BIG that I had to dive under a cloud was his nemesis, in a sneaky holding pattern. As soon as he saw him, he recognized him from his old high school days!
70	A Day in the Life of a Dork	sherry	Done	21	8/14/2005
Am I a Dork! Can you tell that I am a MENSA member? My IQ is higher than my weight." "Oh really? she said with a wink. Great googlely-mooglely...that was just about the nicest thing anyone had ever said!
69	Time for a Checkup!	bonnie	Done	21	8/3/2005
But that's OK-- we can replace it with saline, or I can tell you about our latest experiment: something we've been growing in the lab. Your choice." I knew I had to get out of there, and the only way to do it was to amputate from above the knee.
68	Building My New Cat Condo	betty	Done	21	7/10/2005
Because seconds later, all the cats were fast asleep! "That's an unexpected surprise!" "What?!" "Well, you didn't expect him to throw up on it, did you?
67	Putting Up Wallpaper	greg	Done	21	6/12/2005
This has to be done very carefully! If you don't do it correctly, you will have me to deal with!" With that, we all started booking the wallpaper so the glue would prep correctly.
66	My Newest Home Improvement Project!	betty	Done	20	5/17/2005
After all that hard work, the value of the property went up so much I got an offer I couldn't refuse, and I moved into a condo. and it will also help you store things."
65	Phone Call	bonnie	Done	21	5/9/2005
It was a car full of phase rifles and doom grenades! the driver said. "Hop in and tell me where you want to go.
64	Airline Pilot	greg	Done	21	4/23/2005
Pulling back his hand, he noticed a strange blip on the radar screen. And it seemed to be getting closer! It might just be a squadron of Zentraedi fighters, looking for easy human prey!
63	I'm Not In It For The...	bonnie	Done	21	4/6/2005
It's going to stay there until you get a good principal!" "We don't want a good principal!" "We want more crackerjacks! We want more juice. Fluff up our pillows! Don't you know who we are?
62	Hosting a Cooking Show	betty	Done	21	4/12/2005
My first appearance on TV! MY own Cooking Show! The studio kitchen was sparkling, brand new appliances, and plenty of brandy. That helps takes the edge off when you get too stressed. Got your expensive Ginsu knives?? Great. Take them out and smile with satisfaction at that golden-brown glazed finish!
61	Ain't It Cool?	greg	Done	22	4/7/2005
And your hair needs more color! More punk colors: here, stripe your hair with this purple and this pink! That will make you look like Fonzie.
60	Competing with Starbuck's	bonnie	Done	21	4/2/2005
The biggest I've ever seen. In fact, so big, that it wouldn't even fit in the grinder.
59	My First Ocean Cruise	betty	Done	21	3/28/2005
Our best course of action was to put on life jackets right away and line up next to the lady in the fancy hat. Just try to blend in.
58	Captain Underpants	greg	Done	21	3/23/2005
He giggled, as he flushed my goldfish down the toilet. One after another, down they went, and I was helpless to control it. The pressure was just too much. Before I could stop it, great volumes of gas filled the room of guests who had just arrived from the theater.
57	New Year's Resolutions!	bonnie	Done	21	3/18/2005
With a healthier diet, lifting weights, power walking, and balacing my checkbook on time so that I know I have enough money to buy some new underwear! Whew! Now I won't be embarrassed if I get in a car accident!
56	Saturday Morning's Cartoon Marathon	betty	Done	21	3/13/2005
Bam! Bam! The rockets landed with a great sound like a car crash! But it was the dishes, falling on the kitchen floor because the kids were up on the counter trying to get their own breakfast!
55	Spy Base Alpha	greg	Done	21	3/8/2005
Sometimes they seemed to weigh as much as bowling balls!
54	Texas Winter	bonnie	Done	20	3/3/2005
The kids were having a lot of fun batting them back and forth, but finally I had to call out to them, "Hey! We're here to relax! Those beach balls are just too big! The pool isn't big enough ! and she pointed at a picture of the "Beef Stampede."
53	Christmas Shopping - 2004	betty	Done	20	2/26/2005
Find someone who has a fan blowing in their room, dump the box, and watch the fun! Hundreds of kids having a present wrapping contest.
52	Modeling Agency	greg	Done	21	2/21/2005
Crying, she moaned, "Why me? Why do I have to wear that hideous dress? Can't you see that it is too cold in here for a swimsuit shoot! Blue lips are not sexy!" Now fix your wardrobe immediately!" Crying, she moaned, "Why me? Why do I have to wear that hideous dress?
51	All I Need Is...	bonnie	Done	21	2/16/2005
Your first day will probably be the least fun because you will have to get all your shots and make sure your coffee maker is off when you leave the house.
50	My Summer at the Archeological Dig	betty	Done	21	2/11/2005
He doesn't deserve half the credit he's getting on this dig, and I intend to catalog every single piece of bone that I can find unlike the other slacker diggers who every day haphazardly would just come along, completely disregarding any scholarly integrity, and REFILL the holes with dirt from various random locations , because we couldn't seem to find a single location that met all our criteria for what we had in mind for the recruitment ad.
49	Shopping at Lowe's	greg	Done	20	2/6/2005
Tumbling down the chute came a big load of bricks! Yikes! Get out of the way! We scrambled in a hurry and landed on big pile of garden hoses!
48	Anorexia Therapy	bonnie	Done	21	2/1/2005
It's O.K. Just throw out all your mirrors, and get those Amusement Park ones that make you look fatter than you really are. Then you'll look normal! You can finally eat whatever you please, whenever you please, even if it means you see the number on the scale go up one!
47	Building My New House!	betty	Done	23	1/27/2005
We'd been so busy tearing down the neighbors' hedges so we have room to expand. The swimming pool will go there, the miniature golf course there, and the toolshed had to be demolished to make room for the new inground swimming pool which would be reinforced with steel, 3 inches thick.
46	Ultimate Ninja II	greg	Done	21	1/22/2005
he said, his breath knocked out all the windows in the art studio.
45	Election Day!	betty	Done	21	1/17/2005
We should have plenty of coffee and doughnuts to show our appreciation for all the free handguns being handed out at the NRA rally!"
44	A Day in the Life of...	bonnie	Done	20	1/12/2005
Feathers were flying everywhere. Tiny blood spatters covered his face with his hands, as he heard the prison warden approaching. A heartless, cruel man, the warden was well-known for his ferocity in battle. Remarkably unscathed for having been in so many wars, there were few scars. All the other ants in the mound felt more secure with him around, knowing he'd been responsible for killing many enemy spies who had infiltrated his kingdom.
43	High School Carwash	greg	Done	20	1/7/2005
Go back!!" and waved the water hose in a circle over his head, splashing water on everyone nearby, including customers, classmates, and the whole board of supervisors joined in to hold hands, circle around, and sang Ring Around the Rosy.
42	Pushed Over the Edge	bonnie	Done	21	1/2/2005
It was hopeless. I kicked it over the edge of the stage. Everyone seemed to be clapping too hard or too soft. It was hopeless. I kicked it over the edge of the stage. I didn't know how to adjust the applause meter. Everyone seemed to be clapping too hard or too soft.
41	Cleaning Out the Garage	betty	Done	21	12/28/2004
It looks like plastic poop; you know that artificial dog poop that you fool people with? Never mind scoop it up and throw it into the dumpster parked on the side of the house. We had rented it for just this purpose. Waste Management was going to come get it at the end of the week.
40	HULK SMASH!	greg	Done	20	12/23/2004
Me stupid. Me go the wrong way on a one-way street. Me knock you into the middle of the walls of the building across the alleyway!" Luckily no one was eating at the time.
39	Joining the PTA	bonnie	Done	20	12/18/2004
That we're all a bunch of slack-jawed faggots. If we're going to regain any shred of respect we're going to have to take a stand! Together!
38	Going to the County Fair	betty	Done	20	12/13/2004
Then I grabbed a ticket to go see the biggest cow on the planet. When I peeped through the fence at it, it looked like a NINJA!
37	News at 11	greg	Done	20	12/8/2004
Why one of them was playing the saxophone, and the tune was " Thus Spoke Zoroaster", from "2001: A Space Odyssey". And then, it was time for an ad. A man appeared holding a microphone in the face of John Kerry so close that his nose was almost all the way to the back of his head!
36	Investigating Vegetarianism	bonnie	Done	21	12/3/2004
Can't you get that straight?!! It's been 4 stinkin' decades since we had meats! We don't need meats; we need only add a little herbs and spices, and no one will ever guess. This meal should keep the average person satisfied for thirty seconds. Oooh! But don't worry.
35	Boppy's Trip to Texas	betty	Done	21	11/28/2004
A little window was cut out of the side. Through it, you could see the clouds down below and the heavy pollution surrounding her, asking her to please empty her pockets. Security measures, you know. So in the spirit of cooperation, we all trooped through the metal detector one by one. When the alarm sounded, the inspector pulled aside a tall glass of iced tea!
34	Dance Class	bonnie	Done	21	11/23/2004
So she tried it, and her classmates didn't know whether to be impressed or amused. Her ability to spin on her toes was phenomenal. We could only watch in amazement, envying her strength and grace. "How beautiful are the deep pools of blue that are your eyes.
33	The Minotaur King	greg	Done	21	11/18/2004
I shook in my boots, I sweated pools of gravy. "Boy, this is sure going to blow my diet!" she said, " Get your armor on and sharpen your sword and let's go do some fighting, and then let's go do some laundry, because I'm sure you'll all agree we're starting to smell.
32	The Bizarre Bazaar	bonnie	Done	20	11/13/2004
I could find only one and it was moth-eaten and shedding bits of leprous skin with every step. "What are you doing here?" I asked the white, gristly fellow. He said, "I don't have enough money.
31	My Trip Around the World	betty	Done	21	11/8/2004
It will be so cool to see from above the blackened scars in South America caused by the burning of the rain forests.
30	Downtown Precinct	greg	Done	22	11/3/2004
But I assure you I didn't do it. Please note how cooperative I'm being. Ask me anything. Because I'll have an answer for you.
29	Growing Up on a Farm	betty	Done	21	10/29/2004
Sometimes we found the eggs in the strangest places: why one time we found three behind the barn, smoking like a durn chimney.
28	The Dinosaur World	bonnie	Done	21	10/24/2004
I could have laid down in it and still had room left over. This did not bode well. The sun was sinking fast and we were running out of battery power.
27	Gardening with Betty	greg	Done	20	10/19/2004
They were everywhere!! So I grabbed a hand hoe and started hacking at it. No interlopers in this garden! You can count on me to take care of all the weeds, because I know what a weed looks like. It looks like a cross between a marigold and a dandelion.
26	On the Open Road	bonnie	Done	21	10/14/2004
Down you go! Everybody out of the way! And every time I get to the bottom, I have this feeling of diarrhea running down my pants leg... That's when I know it's time to turn around and head for home.
25	The International Village	bonnie	Done	21	10/9/2004
They placed the cooking pan in the outdoor oven which the Ruwandans had built with stone and layers of crushed bones were all that remained of those who opposed the formation of the International Village.
24	Weekend in Paris	greg	Done	21	10/4/2004
You flamin' liberal French sissy. Go back into your cave and drink your cafe au lait. Next time I see you I will give you $20, but only if you can seat us in a better part of the restaurant. Otherwise, all the berets in the city are going to end up in the river! And you know what that means: a Frenchman without a beret is like a woman without a new pair of shoes."
23	Xander Goes Shopping	betty	Done	22	9/29/2004
And sure enough there was a Taco Bell right inside the store! So Xander hurried over there and ordered a big Mac with cheese and extra ketchup and Great Biggie Fries.
22	Fart Dictionary	bonnie	Done	21	9/24/2004
We made fun of them because their farts were so soft and quiet. "You have sissy farts! You are a sissy! You are a sissy!" When they heard us say that, they immediately began farting in unison.
21	Boot Camp	greg	Done	21	9/19/2004
"How do they expect us to eat this mess?! No wonder they call it the Mess Hall! Hey, let's ask the sargeant if we can get pizza delivered! I want extra cheese on mine.
20	Good Old Pop's Drive-in	betty	Done	21	9/14/2004
There was no escape. The joyful ringing of their laughter reached all the way to Route 17. Traffic was stopping just to listen. Pretty soon the whole parking lot was full of chicken nuggets!
19	Going Back to College	betty	Done	21	9/9/2004
I couldn't believe it. All I could do was look around in amazement. "All these books must be at least a hundred years old!" I whispered. a voice rasped. I gasped. An old lady, bent with age, shuffled out of the shadows.
18	If You Give a Mouse a Cookie	bonnie	Done	21	9/4/2004
300 mice died to provide you with that stylishly avant-garde attire, and don't let them forget it.
17	Our Summer Vacation	betty	Done	21	8/30/2004
So we hightailed it to the rest area so we could throw up. What a relief!
16	Trapped in a Mine	greg	Done	21	8/25/2004
I am afraid I am going to fall into a dead end! Stunned with discouragement, no one spoke for a few moments.
14	Our Visit to the Library	bonnie	Done	21	8/15/2004
I yelled. "It's just a joke!" But it didn't matter. Everyone brought their posters for the big Super Readout Day. And they set up a display on the lawn outside the library.
13	Stress Reduction Techniques	bonnie	Done	23	8/10/2004
That is an excellent way to direct energy. Positive in through the nose, negative out through the chimney and up, up, the explosion launched debris 30 feet into the air.
12	My New Job at Burger King	betty	Done	20	8/5/2004
Maybe we should replace them with soy. Do you think anyone would be able to get all those wads of gum from underneath the tables?
11	Cooking with Grandma	betty	Done	22	7/31/2004
I thought we we were having T-bone steaks! What a bummer. You know hot dogs give me terrible indigestion, and not only that, they also give me a set of free ginseng knives, you know, the kind you use for energy-supporting herbs.
10	Ultimate Ninja	greg	Done	22	7/26/2004
After that, self-preservation was only a matter of using his nunchaku in a totally awesome way, spinning them up, down, left, right, so fast that you couldn't even see them move.
8	Wall Street Blues	greg	Done	22	7/16/2004
I would never want cream or sugar in my coffee. I want it black, black, black with extra coffee. Now, I also want all your money. I mean ALL of it. Hand it over or I will give you a million dollars in exchange for leaving the country and never mentioning this again!"
7	Going into Space	betty	Done	21	7/11/2004
"You see," Sam explained, "they're almost as good as human researchers, but they get paid in cheese!
5	Ye Olde Medieval Days	betty	Done	21	7/1/2004
Greg the lowly serf, plodded toward the field of wheat, dreading another day of bending, kneeling, scorching heat, and gathering buckets of vomit, which had accumulated quickly because of the plague. asked Lady Betty. Sir Greg replied, "I think thou shouldst know that I am now a knight!
4	Barrister the Lawyer Cat	betty	Done	21	6/26/2004
Barrister the Lawyer Cat sat behind his big mahogany desk and pondered about the court cases for the day. The first case was Wal-mart vs.
3	The Big Conundrum	betty	Done	21	6/21/2004
But on one particular face he saw himself! The similarity was remarkable! The eyes, the nose, even the way he parted his hair. He waved at him, and yelled, "Where did you graduate from? Podunk U.?!! Your degree must have been written with invisible ink!" He started to sit down, but then yelled again, "
2	Woo baby!	greg	Done	21	6/16/2004
She stored them in the back pocket of her blue jeans. She also had a holster for a Colt .45, which she kept cleverly hidden under her jacket.
1	Big Computer	greg	Done	18	6/11/2004
And the first thing they decided to buy was a life insurance policy, because they knew they would not live forever. In fact, the time was coming when all the Democrats would finally admit defeat and just fade away. Knowing this, Al Gore decided to end his obsession with bungee cord jumping.