Once upon a time, there lived a giant computer. It was powerful. So powerful, in fact, So they went ahead and ran around the block fifteen times just to be sure. Suddenly there was a loud BANG and they knew.......... the time had come to eat a Burger King Whopper. "I want cheese on mine!" Greg whined. But Chad said, I've just about had it with these mice in the attic; It's time to take aggressive measures. Therefore I will dump this load of manure just where it will do the most good. And the best place for that will be in the kitchen, where the food is. Greg nodded slowly and deliberately as he reached for the Ovaltine. When he opened the cabinet, Lo, and behold, he found his missing bottle of pills. Oh, how he had suffered without them! Now, long gone would be the pain. How he remembered when he had broken his wrist playing badmitton with an orc. Apparently the orc thought it would be pretty darn funny to replace the shuttlecock with a BRAND NEW CAR! THAT'S RIGHT! YOU'VE JUST WON A BRAND NEW CAR COMPLETE WITH THE OPTIONAL WINDSHIELD WIPERS AND TIRES! once he heard that, he knew the time was near. So near, in fact, he nervously checked his ticket stub to make sure he wasn't late for the previews. Whew... he wasn't. In fact, he still had enough time to play another game of Warlords Battlecry. Being only 10 battles away from finishing another campaign, he was anxious to see which orb he would get next. So immediately he began to jump up and down and sing "Yankee Doodle." Everyone was so inspired by his shameless act of pariotism, they stood up and applauded with great gusto, knowing full well that as soon as they sat back down, they would know that this was the end of the world as they knew it. The sky turned white with all the exhaust plumes from the nuclear-armed missiles, and soon they found the hidden treasure! Now they would all be rich! They could buy whatever they wanted! They would never be poor again! And the first thing they decided to buy was a life insurance policy, because they knew they would not live forever. In fact, the time was coming when all the Democrats would finally admit defeat and just fade away. Knowing this, Al Gore decided to end his obsession with bungee cord jumping. However, for old time's sake, he had to make one last jump... and as luck would have it, that was the one in which his cord broke. So, it was most certainly his last bungee cord jump. THE END! |