| When I take walks it's usually for fitness purposes, so I'll take the same route. It's easier to keep track of distance that way. But this time I decided just to enjoy the moment. Off in the distance, I noticed reflected from the street lamp, 2 yellow eyes staring at me. I slowed my walking and waited to see whether it would fall from its own weight. Seconds ticked by, a minute...two minutes. It teetered in the breeze. Just when the tension was almost too much to bear, the elastic snapped in my sweat pants, and I had to quickly step up the pace. I'll never burn off those calories from last night's dinner at this rate. As I broke into a jog, I peered down into the muddy puddle and spied something moving! It looked like a convoy of Army vehicles. Humvees, trucks, tanks on trailers, and even a snail could have gone around the block faster than that turtle which was stampeding through peanut butter. Hey! That's my peanut butter!! Gimme back my Game Boy !!! Don't you know I can punch you in your face! Take that! I ran away cackling like a slowly creeping snail and everywhere it went it gathered oodles of poodles and strudels with noodles. It dumped them in a pile next to the open manhole which smelled horribly lurked a grungy damp IRS agent. "Seen any Tea Partiers, stranger?" he mumbled, with that repulsive but unplaceable accent of his, and his breath reeking of sponge cake soaked with nervous sweat. I shook my head, and shut my eyes and fell into a manhole! OOOH ! Fortunately, I landed on my feet on a big pile of money. I said "Gimme that money!" But he said, You are under arrest! Face down on the ground! Put your hands behind your back stalked a ninja! He was there the ENTIRE TIME! When I realized that, I began to run as fast as I could to get home. I rounded the corner, and in our driveway I saw a great big "No Trespassing" sign. I had come too far and seen too much to stop now! So I kept going until I reached the end of of the road...and there was the sun setting in a gorgeous display of orange and gold !! THE END! |