| Wow! I just saw the BEST movie of all time! Only, I don't think anyone else understood why I went to the movies even though I was blind! They didn't realize that my excellent sense of hearing allowed me to pick up even the slightest nuance of sound, and my vivid imagination I never would have guessed she would DIE from it! I was so in shock from her death, I didn't see what happened to the usher who took us to our seats. He just disappeared! Maybe he went into the 3D theater by mistake. If he did, and he doesn't realize he doesn't have his polarizing glasses on, he's in for a headache. A bad one. So bad, that I wanted to dump my popcorn on the floor, but instead I decided to run as fast as I could!! I ran so far I got lost. I didn't care, I was finally able to lift my shoes from the sticky coke residue on the floor, and I put them on top of the stack of 16mm movie reels that I stole from the projection room when nobody was looking! "Bwahahaha!" I cackled gleefully. "They'll never ever find their way outta here with all the lights out! The whole theater is completely dark, and the ushers are busily passing out fliers advertising a competing movie theater!" "Ditch this dump!" they were yelling. "Union forever!" I was appalled and could not watch a minute more; in fact, I just stood up and shouted, "Kill it, kill it, KILL IT!!!!!" I was beginning to freak out a little because it was quite large, ugly AND smelly! There was no way to get out! I looked and looked for the EXIT sign, but all I saw was a blur. It never occurred to me to just tell the guy in front of me to turn off his cell phone screen. But when I did, he proceeded to buy advance tickets for EVERY opening show for the next year!!! The lady said, "That'll be $700!" He gasped, and reached for his can of mace! Everyone dived under their seats, and immediately someone switched on the vacuum cleaner. But it was so loud, we couldn't hear the movie! "HEY!! SHUT THAT OFF!" I yelled. Then some other people also stood up, put their hands over their hearts, and with great gusto, they sang "Should old acquaintance[s] be forgot, and never brought to mind, then I'll never see you again, and that suits me just fine." THE END! |