| Plastic bags of purchases here and there! Presents to sort! The wrapping paper I bought on Dec. 26....where was it??I found all of it in the back of the car. The first step is to acquire the presents. Second, you have to get someone to put their finger in the middle of a bow, so you can pull out just as much as you need. Next, take the scissors and curl the ribbon. Make sure every strand of ribbon is curled in a spiral and hangs down over the back of the tongue. "Uvula," I said, as I filled in the crossword puzzle. "Patina is the next clue," I pondered out loud, "9 letters, starts with a V." I looked around for help, and there, just out of reach, was just what I needed: more Scotch tape! I looked in the different drawers to find some and in my search I found ten bottles of beer on the wall, ten bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around and around until it's good and tight. Just to be sure, shake it to be sure it's tight enough. You can be confident it is if you leave the presents on your friend's front porch who lives in the ghetto that they will be picked up by a bunch of charity workers. Forthwith, they will be taken to the Salvation Army depot. From there they will be handed out to homeless people. What will they do with them? Obviously, they will put them in the refrigerator asap. Chop! Chop! Once they get good and cold, they will be ready for pickup! You will recognize the delivery personnel by their red noses so cold and dripping with molasses. Or was it maple syrup? Regardless, I put it on the plate with the other desserts next to the Christmas tree. Arrange them in a semi-circle under the Christmas tree, but make sure they are not near any pets. Now you are all set for a very Merry Christmas! Sit back, relax, and take a big sample of that egg nog !! I think we deserve it ! THE END! |