| Everything is so cold, so frozen, so depressing! I need to travel to a warm clime, and bask in the humid warmth of the American South. Animals you could expect to see include Kangaroos and Koala Bears! They are so cute. If I tried to take a Koala cub home, I am sure the airport authorities would introduce me to Connor Trinneer, AKA Trip Tucker from Star Trek: Enterprise! I got my autograph book ready, and waited and waited and waited. I got so sleepy that I put my head on the edge of the elevator shaft. It's hazardous to do that because the TSA might take you aside and frisk you! After I walked through the metal detector, I heard someone say, "Mind The Gap!" His authoritative tone irked me, so I took particular care in minding who was sitting next to me. I was watching for turbans, scarves, and most of all I was mindful of the gap. If there's one thing I know, it's that you never want to lace-up shoes to the airport, because they are too hard to get on and off, especially if they are laced with arsenic! But that's OK, because I'd spent the last 10 years slowly building up resistance to arsenic. Confident I'd be OK, I took a big bite and froze. Never in my life had I ever tasted anything so disgusting and horrible. It must have been past its expiration date! I just had to spit it out onto the lawn. There, in the sun, I could see a big hydrogen firestorm. Scary! Good thing I was not looking directly at it, and a good thing I was wearing my asbestos underwear! It was so hot! It made me want to go to San Antonio, Texas to visit Bonnie, Chad, Xander, Ethan, and their dog named all the cats in the neighborhood: "Stinky", "Spazzy", "Sissy McWeepington", "Sir Pukesalot", etc. It was obvious the dog was no fan of the cats! But he was a big fan of just taking a nap! But, noooooo oooooooooo. Oooooooooo. They don't accept senior citizens, teenagers, or Discover Card. THE END! |