After 21 entries, the story is finished!! Here it is!

"Slatherage" -- started by greg
The esteemed authors and their contributions are: betty(9) bonnie(9) greg(3)
 Story #138. Finished on 9/16/2015.

Slatherage is track 4 on the album "Magenta Manta Love Tree" (stylized as "Magentamantalovetree" by Dig Hay Zoose, and came out in 1993. They're a Christian "Aussie rock" band. I first heard about them when they appeared as my Wiki Word of the Day. Another stupid bunch of words. Who writes this stuff?? I wouldn't be surprised if the author was Mr. John James, former front man of Newsboys, another Aussie rock band which barely predates Dig Hay Zoose. However, the trademark "Aussie" sound of Newsboys that made them so distinct, now that DC Talk alumnus Michael Tait has replaced Peter Furler, unfortunately has largely aged well. Gentlemen generally do. An agent of change, a giant of his generation, a real genius, the General led by example: a true gem. All he had to do was gesture and we got the gist. Against my better judgement, I thought I would peer down into the hole I found in the back yard, and suddenly up popped a sloth! Slinging a sledgehammer, he slipped slightly and slammed into the slick slab. He slowly inched through the pasture field dodging cow pies and carefully watching out for the hot-tempered bull, which was hiding behind a clump of weeds. The General abruptly stiffened with alertness. Creeping forward, he spotted a fire ant hill right in his path !! Oh no! So he slowly slithered backward, but they had spotted him! They marched toward him with military precision, but in slow-motion. It was amazing to watch. Mesmerized by the sight, we found a place to sit down quietly and stared intently at the small entrance. Only a very petite model could fit in that dress! And look at the price tag! It cost over $ 500. Worth every penny! Not only was it useful for safely snagging escaped animals, you could also use it for compost. And when Spring comes, gently layer it around the exposed dirt. The next thing to do is to take some string and weave a hanging basket. Be sure to make it strong enough so you can trap large prey. It should definitely work for slow-moving targets such as a sloth, but you could run into problems if you taught math class in middle school...hahaha. No, seriously, you would have a problem if you ran out of eggs right in the middle of preparing a tasty snack! Considering all the work that had gone into it, everyone was really surprised that Aussie rock had made it into the mainstream in the States. Slatherage was one tiny part of that process, on an album from a band that's now largely forgotten. The General gave the latest Newsboys album on Spotify a fair go and listened wistfully for several minutes before mumbling, "They don't sound Aussie at all. Newsboys? More like Taitboys. Or DC Talk Redux." He switched to listening to Peter Furler Band instead and went to put some more shrimp on the barbie, then played footy with his mates until they got attacked by a pack of rabid dingoes.

THE END!

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