| The word of the Lord came to Jonah: "Go to Nineveh and preach against political correctness and with great vigor. We are sick and tired of it. I put it into the same category as washing the dog: every day is overkill, but waiting a month is too long." We could probably agree it's the same with grocery shopping: Don't shop when you are hungry! Because if you are hungry, you will probably end up getting frustrated. The best thing to do is take a minute to evaluate the situation, then decide which size pizza to order, the giant 18-inch, or should we order the small instead of the large? You don't want to get stuck with too much time on our hands, we decided just to go shopping. First we went to Cosco and loaded up on lots of wood glue, posterboard, hammers, and nuclear material. That's everything we need for assembling a Gatling gun! And just in time, too. Any minute now the UPS man will come down the street in his brown truck and deliver multiple packages full of those plastic air-filled cushions. Excellent! Now we're stocked up for some New Year's Eve stompin' noisy fun! Now all we need are some light refreshments and light classical music. Hey! I will call up my musician friends and I know they will all bring over their 6-packs of beer, "We're #1" foam fingers and their goofy hats with the springy antennas. You'd think we could expect more sophistication from Washington, D.C. politicians, but true to form, they proceeded to just laugh and point and not help at all. Not only were the kids running around like crazy, the adults were really getting hungry and with the hunger came grumpiness. What sounded like insults were heard around the room: I heard someone say, "You are the light of the world, You are the light of the world..." but then I realized he was listening to praise music on his earbuds and singing along. Pulling one of them loose, I yelled, "BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!!" No one could argue with that. They all leaned way back in their easy chairs and took a nap! THE END! |