| Where was my Christmas wrapping paper?? In the attic? In the garage? Ah, man.. I will just go buy some new paper at the local Christmas wrap store. They had every kind you could think of, but I was really drawn to the sparkly tissue wrapping paper! That and the snowflake ribbons reminded me of when I met the real Santa years ago. For the most part he was everything I'd expected and hoped: rosy cheeks, big exuberant belly laughs, and a warm and compassionate spirit, but what most people don't know is that he is an undercover agent with MI-6! We never would have known because he expertly masked his British accent... until he gave it away when he saw he was overcharged at Starbucks, and muttered, "Bollocks!" The jig was up, mate! We confronted him with rolls of ribbon, sheaths of tissue paper, and a carton of ribbons. If you don't have your ribbons neatly wrapped on spools, at least don't rest anything heavy on them to crush them. In advance of your gift-wrapping day, make a list of who gave what so I could send them a thank you note. With each note I could include a handmade gift tag to indicate who it's from-and-to, but instead I'd really rather use this stick of dynamite! I found in on sale at the Farmer's Daughter market where you can find fresh eggs, potatoes, homemade soap, and bunches of bananas! We must keep up our strength while we do all this wrapping! Please, help yourself to another cup of egg nog. Now have a seat and relax. Lean back and contemplate what you are going to do next: wrap more presents, or eat ALL the Christmas cookies. Oooh, there's a whole jug of egg nog! I could go for a glass or two of that. And garnish it with olives and lemon slices. How cool! When the martini glasses were all empty, we washed them with our carpet shampooer. That thing has really come in handy! After that, the obvious problem to solve then was put the Tranformers together and invite my friends over. They would be so impressed with my new toy' When they arrived they looked at my grand display and with great enthusiam, they said, "Good king Wenceslas looked out, on the feast of Stephen!" The entire room erupted in song! We raised our glasses and forgot all about the present wrapping, and joined in with singing and dancing. The music was outstanding Especially the trumpet player who stood on the stage and proceeded to lead everyone in a rousing chorus of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer!" It was truly a monumental day. Everyone was happy. Everyone was full of good food. And everyone vowed, "I won't stop until I get my revenge on you!" It was then I finally realized as I reflected on everything that had happened, that this had truly been the best Christmas ever! THE END! |