| We packed our van the night before and started off early in the morning for the mountains. Our first stop would be the underground caverns where day and night dripped tiny streams and droplets of molten lead from the exploding metal refinery across the way. We had seconds to get out of our car before you make it smell worse than it already does! Don't you ever get tired of going to the same place for vacation every year? This time, why don't you go to the creek and wade in the cold water? It will cool you off and you will feel much better. Then after that you can find a good place to take a shower! Scrub off the slime and grime of a sweaty, dusty day. There's nothing like freshening up after a long wait in the line for the "Vomitous Maximus Tilt-O-Whirl", we finally got to ride it! We got strapped in, and moments later, a sour smell came wafting through. "What IS that?" They all wondered. Mystified, they cautiously approached the abandoned roller coaster. "Hey, let's get one of the cars, push it to the top and jump in and see how far we can go!"
So they laboriously pushed and pushed, and when they got to the top they saw what was causing the tornado: the villanous Sky Master!! We knew it was him from his bright blue outfit and his equally brightly-colored tail feathers were covered with dewdrops. The colors blended in the evening twilight until they all resembled mud pies. "How will we ever get all this mud off?" She whined. "Is anybody hurt?" I asked. "That was quite a steep waterslide! I don't think I want to go down that again! It scared me too much and when I got to the bottom, I hit a Honda Civic! But since I was in a Hummer, i just kind of rolled over him and kept on going." "That's terrible, who would have thought ice cream could melt so fast! Hurry we need to try to refreeze it! And to do that we need some sunscreen lotion, beach towels, and volleyballs, and of course food. Don't forget the food." So we hightailed it to the rest area so we could throw up. What a relief! Imagine getting so sick on that food! What was in it? It must have been cooked with bacon grease. That explained the pleasant, Southern-style, down home-cooking smell! "Mmm, boy," he said, "I gotta get tickets for my next vacation. This one has been a blast!
We have had so much fun that I know next summer will be even better. I just must remember next time to bring more Immodium A-D. This crazy Mexican food is flowing through me like a dirt river." THE END! |