| Oh boy, the house smelled so good from Xander's fresh baking bread to the roasting turkey. Winston walked into the kichen and he immediately started to thaw it. After about 8 hours, the turkey was halfway cooked. We were starting to get ravenous, waiting around getting hungry. We started looking for the giblets. You boil those separately. They make good broth. Once you're sure you have them all, put them in your mouth. Let's quit beating around the bush here, we're all hungry. I don't care how many steps on the recipe are left, I'm wasting away here. Now please, would you pass the TV remote control? I need to find out what the score is. I guess I could find out on my phone, but turkey grease had dripped all over it and it was so slippery that I quickly had to unwrap a stick of butter and vigorously whipped the buttery mashed potatoes into a big mound of dog crap. How did that get there? Who walked the dogs last?? Don't they realize the dishwasher is broken and look at all these dirty dishes! Plus I have a bandaged hand because I cut myself with a rusty barbecue smoker borrowed from a neighbor. It would take at least 16 hours to lambaste the turkey.... I mean brine roast the turkey...too LONG !! We would have to go the tried and true route which was to pack it full of apples and hope for the best. While waiting for the turkey to finished roasting, the oven twiddled its thumbs, wishing it had remembered to charge its phone. It takes a number of hours for a turkey to cook properly, and even an oven has limited power. But Chancellor Palpatine has UNLIMITED POWER!!!!!!!!! That's why Master Windu got disarmed. Dang Sith. Dang them straight to heck. But anyway, that's okay because we'll fry it later. So, as for sides, we wanted Greg's famous Sweet Potato Casserole, Bonnie's famous Homemade Stuffing, and most of all, Xander's famous bread! While that was baking, the smell throughout the house was reminiscent of swamp gas that had fermented for days, and then oozed through the greasy pores of a drug addict who had just spent the past 14 hours at a rave and was on the way to exploding into a big grease ball, splintered bones, blackened skin. and gobs of dripping fat. What to do? Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Turn off the lights! Pretend we're not home! We don't have enough food for all those people! Just kidding! We actually sold the turkey for bail money! Now get in, loser. We're headed for the Mexican border. Would you pass the TV remote control? I need to find out what the score is. I guess I could find out on my phone, but turkey grease had dripped all over it. THE END! |