| All my bags were packed and soon I would be on my way for the trip of a lifetime! I called a taxi to take me to the airport,
and when he arrived he looked like a Pillsbury Doughboy, waddling under the bulk of all his gear and protective clothing. "You sure look prepared! Where are we going? To be, or not to be, that is the question." Clearly we had to go to London, to celebrate Shakespeare and see the Great Wall of China. Yes, that is a "must see". Also I want to swim in the Great Barrier Reef. I am sure when I am there I will see many architectural wonders. I don't know which I like better: Looking from a distance at the whole structure, or up close at the details such as how far we'll have to swim to get to land if our ship sank. Fortunately, we didn't have to worry about that because we had eaten so much pizza for lunch. This was strange pizza though; it had slices of boiled egg on it. And spread over the top were bits of shredded lettuce. Yum! "This will hit the spot! This is good for an appetizer. What's the main course?" I am sorry to say the natives are offering us sauteed monkey brains. I really don't recommend eating that! You know what it will do to you. It will cause itchy feet. That's right. You won't be satisfied to stay at home. You'll want to take another trip as soon as you can. The fun is just beginning. Now we are headed for the North Pole! We will be on top of the world! Good thing we are going by helicopter, because it would take too long to travel in a hot-air balloon, of course! It will be so cool to see from above the blackened scars in South America caused by the burning of the rain forests. Then we'll go to the Amazon River and see how much Avon we can sell to the natives. I hear they pay for their orders with bags of gold dust! Who knows? We might even end up with hemmorhoids so bad we won't even be able to sit down. "That's why I brought extra Preparation H!" declared Paspartout with a rakish grin. We laughed and laughed; Men wearing hula skirts! It was so funny. When they tried to dance, they ended up in the Taj Mahal, surrounded by furious Muslim imams! They were all holding uzis! The lead one proclaimed, "You have trespassed on holy ground, infidel, now you will put on your scuba gear because we are going underwater. We will swim to that shark cage, get in, lock the gate, and wait anxiously for nightfall. I'm exhausted!" Trying to keep up with Lance Armstrong is just impossible! I am going to wheel in here to this little cafe and order a tall glass of foamy beer, running out of the keg, down the bar, and onto the floor, puddling around the table legs in yeasty-smelling bubbles. My frantic struggling to stop the flow gave way to resignation that I would have to find another job to earn ticket fare back home. THE END! |