| I decided to take a dance class for fun and exercise. First I purchased my required leotard, tights, and the only other necessary item: a pretty pink tutu! Ready to dance? First lift your right leg and touch your toes on the edge of the piano. We were lucky enough to have live piano music to dance to. Which makes sense, actually, because the piano player had sprained his ankle and couldn't show up. So we played a boom box until the windows started to tremble. We lowered the volume just in time before the other dancer jumps over you. The idea is to create the picture of water with the water birds in it. So the next move is a demi plie; just swirl around and fluidly reach for your toes and come back up to face the audience. Then, the dancers to the sides move toward the center, and the dancers in the center move you must do a somersault, ending in a backflip, and still have enough energy left to do four running leaps diagonally across the dance floor. That takes stamina, strength, and a classy outfit that fits like a second skin and doesn't clash with your natural colors. For color consultation you must see an Avon representative, you need some Cellu-scupt to get rid of those unsightly lumps of fat bulging unattractively from various areas in her leotard. But was she flexible? Perhaps she would be able to jump up and down and sing "Yankee Doodle" instead of actually performing a dance. So she tried it, and her classmates didn't know whether to be impressed or amused. Her ability to spin on her toes was phenomenal. We could only watch in amazement, envying her strength and grace. "How beautiful are the deep pools of blue that are your eyes. I lose myself into their depths; I am drowning in your face, that's where I'm putting this custard pie." (SPLAT!) The class all laughed, because they knew she was just not the type. Their only recourse was to join the Army. Fortunately, they breezed through all the physical training and went on to become decorated infantry. THE END! |