| I'm Tannie McCool, and you're watching News at 11. Our top story tonight is "Back to School!" Which store has the best deal on school supplies? What about separation anxiety? Here with their opinions on this story are economics expert Bylo Sellhi, and psychologist Druggum Tilltheyzone: "It is simple to see that John Kerry is a drugged up spendthrift." The newscaster all agog at such a statement, quickly stuttered into a station break, and the first ad was about a block away from the scene. As soon as they heard, they quickly lunged out the door, cameras and notebooks in hand. Moments later, they arrived at 10:55 with barely enough time to clip on their microphones and get in front of the camera. It was going to be a very big news day! Hurricane Bonnie had wiped out all of the office staff. Without meeting the deadlines on the paperwork, dozens of suspects would go free! Frantically, the police captain called a temp agency. They worked around the clock sweeping all the flood waters out of the newsroom. Needless, to say, all the sound equipment was choked with papers that had been discarded right out the window. They lay in wet piles atop the sewer grates, and rats slithered out and began to dance on the grates! It was unbelievable! Why one of them was playing the saxophone, and the tune was "Thus Spoke Zoroaster", from "2001: A Space Odyssey". And then, it was time for an ad. A man appeared holding a microphone in the face of John Kerry so close that his nose was almost all the way to the back of his head! "Who did this to you?" They asked. "NINJA!" He yelled "Stop the presses! Stop the presses!!" The editor asked, "What's the matter?" "Can't you see that the weatherman hasn't arrived yet?!! What are we going to do? We have 10 minutes to play ads until we can find the rest of tonight's tape. WHo had it last?" We all started to eat our noontime sandwiches. They came from Joe's Beanery.
Always tasted good and made us feel like a million bucks. "I need to get some of that!" Bob exclaimed. "It's the best way to sneak up on someone, and then, the instant you know they see you, you shout, 'NINJA!'" He said that so loudly, I jumped. "Are you ," I exclaimed, "or are you not going to ask me to marry you?!" THE END! |