| Starbuck's popularity and success are ridiculous. It's amazing that so many people are delighted to spend so much money for something so simple! What gives? Obviously some of the rest of us are entitled to a piece of the action. So here's the plan: Rent a storefront, buy some coffee beans, and to grind them, buy a big muffin. The bigger the better. The biggest I've ever seen. In fact, so big, that it wouldn't even fit in the grinder. "Where'd you get that bean?" I exclaimed. She replied, "I really wanted one of those cookies I got last time. You know, the ones with the pierced noses and tattooed necks. I hate it when they serve me coffee. I wish they would go work at becoming more efficient at the cash register!" He, with furrowed brow, and she, petulant, continued to argue over which was the best sweetener. He liked good ol' cane sugar, while she preferred tea to coffee, it was good to try something new for a change, so she ordered a lemon cookie with her tea. Then she asked for some lemon for her tea! Incredulous, I asked her, with sarcasm, "You want fries with that?" She gave me such an evil look, that I really wanted to give her a chance to make better hot chocolate than the swill she had been serving. I told her, "You have to SMILE at the customer! Make them feel welcome! Here, I'll show you." With that, she turned around and punched her in the face as hard as she could. She flipped right over the counter! One shoe came off and smacked a customer in the face! He stood up and gathered his belongings, which was difficult to do while holding the coffee cup. Somebody else came along and mopped up the spilled latte, and then put up a sign that said, "Coffee leads to throat cancer", but another sign said "Coffee can cure ennui!" He declared with confidence. "I can tell you suffer from it." "Really?" she squealed, with wide eyes, "I just knew something wasn't right with me lately!" She was amazed, and relieved to know that her laxative would start working any minute now. She smiled and said "Don't use that cream for your coffee, because I think it is time to switch to decaf!" She then quit, and got a job at the Farmer's Market selling vegetables. THE END! |