| This was the first time I'd ever put up wallpaper. I was nervous and excited at the same time. First I assembled the tools and instructions, and then I took a dare and tasted the wallpaper paste. Hey, not bad! my mouth tasted like wallpaper paste. I started to wonder if licking the backing was really the correct way to do this. I was going to need a lot more spit to get this job done. As I prepared the next strip, I suddenly has the urge to pee. But the toilet had been removed! So I went upstairs and screamed to let out the frustration. Then I went back downstairs and fixed myself a meatball lunch pocket. It was so good, I licked it again. "Hey! Quit that! You're getting wallpaper paste all in my hair! And if it dries, to get it out I will have to use a whole bottle of spackling to fix that big hole in the wall, we'll use drywall patch... uh oh, I'm all out. That's OK, because we bought extra rolls just in case. Try to line up the red hexagons so they match. This has to be done very carefully! If you don't do it correctly, you will have me to deal with!" With that, we all started booking the wallpaper so the glue would prep correctly. Five minutes later the glue had hardened like week-old oatmeal. And not Quaker Oatmeal, either; I'm talking about cheap, store-brand tools! They wear out or break even before you've finished one project! It pays to set aside enough time to complete the job; otherwise, you are left with wallpaper paraphernalia strewn across the house for the next four months. So, to those of you who choose to take on the challenge of putting up wallpaper - my advice to you is avoid putting a lot of holes in the wall, because that will only cause discoloration later. It would be a better idea to just call Lowe's next time and have them do it - It'd be worth it! THE END! |