After 15 years I had earned the reputation of the best test pilot in the country. But I was in for the surprise of my life. It all started the day my mechanic called to me, "Captain Mitchell, you had better put down that bottle of Tequila and come look at this." Although having been on a 3 day binge, I tried to rise from my seated position. But as soon as I stood up, my head hit the ceiling! Good thing I was wearing my helmet! and take off my lucky socks. I didn't need them today--I felt like I could take on the world! And I didn't need a stupid navigator to tell me where we were. I knew perfectly well that we were over the coldest part of a TV dinner when you get it out of the microwave is always the center part. That's why you have to stir it it up, and the explosion was so BIG that I had to dive under a cloud was his nemesis, in a sneaky holding pattern. As soon as he saw him, he recognized him from his old high school days! Imagine seeing him again, here, after all these years! It sure is a small fire button! Let's see what happens if I push it! Whoa Nellie! That's looks like a squadron of Russian MiGs attempting to intercept my vector! Little do they know there are hidden bombs on board. And only I know the code to release them. Moo-ha ha! One more flyover and I will punch in the control panel, because obviously it's not doing any good! I expect a response from the navigator because I really think we are lost! I don't recognize anything down below. I think we may have flown into enemy territory! And you know what that means! That means we will have to try to land at the closest airport we can find! Don't be alarmed at a change in plans, just make your face like flint, give it full throttle and close your eyes! Now the fun begins! The co-pilot thought I was kidding, but far be it from me to let him know what was *really* going on. He'd probably just freak out and start to open up the escape hatch. But that would cause the enemy to unleash the entirety of his airforce!! The noise of the numberless engines would shake the earth. We would look out to the horizon and see all our parachutes flying out the window! OH NO! THE END! |