This is a job I am not looking forward to, but it has to be done. I have 2 potty chairs, 2 bags of M&M's, and 2 bags of gummy bears to use as positive reinforcement! Next, I got the calendar and drew pictures of poop on every single day. You know pictures speak louder than words. Then when I was busy in the kitchen, the twins drew on the calendar too. They drew pictures of monsters that will scare the poop out of them!!! Hahaha! We put them in the bathtub because it's just easier to wipe two bottoms at the same time. To do this, you just need a lot of patience. One day at a time, we worked at moving the vast quantities of toddler turds out of the house. We used snow shovels most of the time, but sometimes we used cloth diapers when we ran out of all the clean air in the house was being gradually contaminated by the encroaching fog of green stench. We had to go to Sam's Club to buy the biggest bag of M&M's and while we were there we also bought a big box of Tide detergent! 'Cause we're going to need it for all the poop that is on its way. What were you thinking to feed the twins stewed prunes?? You know eating prunes will always cause them to cooperate because they want to buy combat boots in order to have enough traction to navigate the poop-slimed floor. We went to Outdoor World and found 2 very dirty diapers behind the bookcase. Ewww! Smelly! And the Welcome Wagon ladies were already coming up my front steps! The quickest thing I could do was put them into a big cardboard box. If I hurried, I could get to Warehouse Store and buy another 1000 diapers before they go to college! So don't worry, everybody poops, more or less, and it all works out in the end. THE END! |