Greg stared out the office window and sighed. He had just finished reading the latest reports, which said The bottom is dropping out of the Stock Market! And no one seems to know why! One theory is that blue chip stocks are always a recommended buy. Unless they're going down. In which case, he proceeded to sweep up all the ticker tape from the Exchange floor. But he decided he needed help, so he asked a group of socialist insurgents to stop making so much racket and go buy them lunch. In exchange, they agreed to exchange insider information, hoping that the authorities would never find out. However as soon as their buys went through, the Commissioner announced, "Batman. Batman! Will somebody please tell me what kind of world we're living in when a man cannot turn a dollar into a million, or turn a Euro into a big fat wallet. Those were the only kind of wallets Greg carried around nowadays--genuine leather and filled to overflowing with Jacksons, Grants, and Franklins. He usually ended spending it on Whoppers and Big Macs, and he always said YES, when asked if he wanted to Super-Size. Needless to say, this constant Super-Sizing
only led to the bottom dropping out of the market. And on a friday, too! Now what kind of weekend was he going to have? He decided to put all his savings into that new tech stock that everyone was raving about. And the name of it was "Ackerson Savings & Loans & Stuff". It had been in business for 20 years, but it had to be demolished to make way for a Stop-n-Go. This was ordered by someone other than I! I would never want cream or sugar in my coffee. I want it black, black, black with extra coffee. Now, I also want all your money. I mean ALL of it. Hand it over or I will give you a million dollars in exchange for leaving the country and never mentioning this again!" Extending his hand, Greg expected a benefits package which includes prescription and dental. Would you choose blue chip stocks or penny stocks? Whatever you choose you must be willing to keep what you buy for at least a decade. Greg couldn't believe his jail sentence would be that long, but considering the number of his convictions, he knew he had jail time ahead. Hopefully he would get send to one of those posh white collar "country club" correction centers where every day he would get to watch TV, exercise, and eat three prison meals a day. Sometimes he would laugh, thinking how now the Betty Mafia could never get him. Ever. His laughter, tinged with madness, echoed through the prison daily. It was a hollow sound. But it was the only one he cared about anymore. THE END! |